forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

My dad just dropped a part of our air-fryer and he is confused why I flinched so hard.

Hah, wow, I didn't expect plagiarism to be the thing that makes me the most angry.

I would be furious. And feel sick. I don’t blame you.

You know that the school system has done a good job manipulating your brain when you feel guilty for choosing your mental health over school.

You know that the school system has done a good job manipulating your brain when you feel guilty for choosing your mental health over school.

Okay but seriously though
Tw for sexual assault

You know that the school system has done a good job manipulating your brain when you feel guilty for choosing your mental health over school.

this is a big frickin mood. but for me it's more like whenever i have a mild panic attack the school apparently assumes i've purely gone mental and try to keep me out of the school for as long as they can as if i'm some sort of danger to the students like U M?

You know that the school system has done a good job manipulating your brain when you feel guilty for choosing your mental health over school.

Okay but seriously though
Tw for sexual assault

Spoiler - click to show.

so another girl released her story of how she was raped at our school and literally while still in shock, all her mind could think of to do was finish her school project and honestly that fucked me up

Damn.
Your school sucks. When's the walk out again? (If u guys are still doing that)

You know that the school system has done a good job manipulating your brain when you feel guilty for choosing your mental health over school.

Okay but seriously though
Tw for sexual assault

Spoiler - click to show.

so another girl released her story of how she was raped at our school and literally while still in shock, all her mind could think of to do was finish her school project and honestly that fucked me up

Damn.
Your school sucks. When's the walk out again? (If u guys are still doing that)

I believe so. We need to plan more though.

Why am I so nervous to submit this scholarship? (the deadline is in three days, so I kind of have to o it now)

full send my guy
just push that submit button and go grab a snack
you deserve it

hey I stole this account from my baby sister. she's not really a baby obviously. but still. what is up my cranky crew?

Your heart rate.

ha. ha. ha.

So basically my mental health has been going downhill recently and I really want to talk to my parents about it but I'm afraid it will make things different. Maybe they'll look at me differently, maybe they'll take away my privileges, maybe they'll start thinking that everything I say and do are all just parts of my low mental health, or maybe they'll start hovering over me. I just want to talk but I'm afraid that everything's going to change…

I feel like this needs to be said…..

Hhhhhh so apparently my friend wants to call CPS because I've been venting to her about my mom and apparently a lot of the stuff my mom's been saying and doing is actually incredibly ab-sive? And she also won't take me in to get tested for anything(I think I might have ADHD based on some of the symptoms, but I'm definitely not a professional hence why I want to get evaluated by a professional) or anything like that, instead screaming and swearing at me and threatening me. She used to hit me a lot when I was younger, and my friend says that based on what I'm telling her, I might also have PTSD from that(she has PTSD herself but again, not a professional). She wants to do it anonymously of course and said she won't do it unless I give her the okay, but I don't know what to do. Like my mom would know I said something, right? She'd just be furious with me for bringing stuff like this up but at the same time CPS could make her do something about this. I don't know what to do and honestly, I'm not sure if I'm more frustrated with the situation or scared of making it worse.

Pm me, dude. (I might not be on but I think we should probably talk.)

You know, I think I had that life shattering realization that usually doesn't happen until you graduate college.
I don't know how to do anything except be a good student.
I can write some solid one hour essays, study for tests and ace them, find the short cuts in math problems.
And that's it.
That's all I know how to do, I don't know how to survive. I don't know what I'm going to major in, which one get's me the highest GPA, the answer none of them, that's not how Majors work, none of the way's I have developed to think my way through school are going to be useful when I get out of college, if I go to college I haven't even started my applications and they're due on Saturday.
Anyway basically right now all I really want is for someone to come over and give me a hug and look me in the eye's and tell me it's all going to be ok, it'll work out. I'll get through it. But no one is going to do that, if it would work from their mouth it's going to have to be good enough coming from me.
My Parent's have enough to deal with with out me being problematic, I made it clear that I am the one in charge of my life, so they shouldn't have to deal with my problems. Besides If I open up to them Mom will have it all over town in 2 minutes. I love her so much but she can't keep her mouth shut.
I'm such a hypocrite, I hand out comfort and advise and any helpful words I can think of when I'm this much of a mess.
I'm just going to have to power through, power through the application process, power through the rest of my schooling, power through life until it's over. My existence just looks so miserable, I have to laugh at the absurdity of it.
And I've accepted it, that's the worst part. I've accepted that I'm going to be miserable for the rest of my life, and because I've accepted it, it's never going to change.
That is all for tonight, I have homework to do. I wasted to much time reading, it was a good escape while it lasted.

_{i really want to rant on here but i doubt anyone will wanna hear my problems ;-;}

do it. that’s the whole point. get it out and get it over with, i may not be online when you do cause sleep but we’re here for you

okay i guess…

So I have some serious depression. LIke the kind that is just a thick knot resting in my chest and some big clouds settling in my brain. I'm also a nihilist. For those of you who don't know what that is, a nihilist is someone who rejects all religions and moral values and believes that life is meaningless. I'm also agnostic/atheist (still deciding). I look outside at our world and just this feeling of dread washes over me. I have no hope. I am 14 years old and I have no hope for a future. The generations above me have handed us a world that is broken beyond repair, handed us a roll of duct tape and told us to fix it. We can patch it up temporarily, but it'll just fall apart. It's just delaying the inevitable. Our ozone layer has more holes in it than a swiss cheese factory, the icecaps are melting, and countries are tearing themselves apart. I swore to never have kids because why would I bring an innocent creature into this dying world? How could I give them the same burden my parents gave me? I don't believe in any god because why would something that powerful just stand back and watch this crumbling world?? Sometimes, when my brain refuses to give in and let me pass out, I sit up at night and think about this world. The sad thing is that I've accepted the facts. I'm a deadpan realist. I've accepted that it's not gonna get better, I've accepted that I'm probably not gonna live to see 60, I've accepted that there's no point in trying. So I'm gonna live my life as chaotically as I can, because nothing matters. Nothing matters…

I've actually had a conversation about those exact thoughts before.
I think the resolution was something along these lines.
Nothing matters , but you know what is pretty stinking powerful, the human mind, your mind.
Think about how stupid money is. It's a piece of paper, in America it really doesn't represent anything, it's legit a piece of paper. And yet we have assigned it value, we have decided it matters, so much so that we work our who lives to get it. So If the human mind is strong enough to decide that a piece of paper has value, think about what else it can decide is valuable.
You have a whole lot of power in that brain of yours, if you see something as valuable, it will have value. If nothing matters, then does another persons life matter? Therefore does it have value? That's up to you to decide for your self, does life have value. If you were to run over a dog, would it even be sad, in the grand scheme of things it didn't matter did it. No But it had value in someone's eye's.
Before you give up on the world consider what you do and don't value. Life isn't going to be a birds eye view, you are stuck on the ground in your own ecosystem, in the grand scheme of things, the grand scheme doesn't mater.

hello, I'm stressed and I feel like this is okay to do here, correct me if I'm wrong. but I'm doing an essay for my English composition class on how too much pressure to succeed cripples some young people today. I would really like to hear some of your stories on the topic

I am now having second thoughts on everything again…..Just seeing my ex made me feel so useless…..I'm at a point where i wanna start isolating myself again.

well, time to cry again
i always fuck up
i'm trying so hard to not be a shitty person
and then my brain's like "hahahaha no let's really make your life some bullshit"
why must i exist like this
why

My girlfriend's in another state, and it makes me sad when she's upset about an ex of hers. Like I wanna protect her, but I physically can't. She lives so far away… and I just… ugh… it makes me mad that I can't protect her from harm. And that's all I wanna do, is protect the ones I love most. But if I can't do that… what type of person am I then?