forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

I didn't think it was possible to be so emotionally aware yet so emotionally constipated at the same time

I have proved myself wrong again

i love crying in maths

Update on my… entire thing
I am officially in a depressive slump, which is fun
I have a therapy appointment today at 7:30 at night

Update on the jaw:

The pain has pretty much completely disappeared last night, now it's whenever I open my mouth too wide, which is semi normal for me (I've always had a couple really minor problems with this side of my jaw)
I'll still be going to the nurse, though, so you guys don't freak out
Also, I found a cut along the other side of my jaw which will make my explaintion fall apart of brought up, so hopefully that won't happen

Update on my… entire thing
I am officially in a depressive slump, which is fun
I have a therapy appointment today at 7:30 at night

Oh… Good luck, yeah? At least you're going to the therapist. Try to hold out till then <3

Yeah, it took me a solid three hours to get up out of bed today, and right now, I'm so tired and everything hurts and it could all be fixed if I just laid down somewhere. But we have tests today, so life sucks

It's my boy Law's birthday today!
I'm in a good mood because of it and who cares if he's a fictional character, I still lomf him

Law from One Piece, right?

Yep!

For all of y'all having a bad day, I made a thread for wholesome pics! :) https://www.notebook.ai/forum/general-chat/wholesome-images-to-make-your-day-better-3

I literally cannot focus on things I don't want to do. Like I want to do it because I don't want to fail my classes and get put down at home and get my stuff taken away, but right now in this moment I can't get myself to do this stupid fucking essay. How do you remedy this. I WANT to do it but at the same time I must not becayse it's so hard to just read the dumb prompt. I hate myself sometimes.

Give yourself a positive reward for afterwards? Like maybe "if I finish this then I'll get/make myself __"? Idk I'm finding that that's working for me a little

I won't even lie I'm willing to take drugs (like Ritalin or something, not crack) at this point. I've done the binural beats I've done the isotopic music or whatever it's called, I've eaten well, in fairness I haven't excersized anymore than usual but I do get good sleep and stuff. I take vitamins. I give myself periodic rewards when I do stuff. It's all failing tho. I have Ds and Fs in every class and it's not even midterms. My brain really said "no" huh.

When I can't focus on my work, I play movie soundtracks, the "power" genre that has all the epic instruments but no vocals, then I set a 20 min timer and turn off everything that might distract me, including putting the timer out of reach so I can't mess with it. As annoying as it sounds, to quote that one meme "just do it." It's usually miserable to start, but it has to be done. After 20 min I'll take a 5 min break to stretch, snack, check up on whatever, then back to it until it's done. It's exhausting and I don't really like this method but it's what works for me when I procrastinate too much and run out of time to do other things.

Trick your brain into thinking you're interested in the topic. Like literally look at it, make your eyes light up, and say to yourself "wow this actually really interesting though??" and repeat until you believe it

My dad has constantly threatened to kick me out of the house, and in all honestly, I'm just kinda waiting till the day he finally snaps and kicks me out. Whenever we have school, I feel safe, but when I'm at home. . .not so much. And when we're on summer vacation I just want to return to school, because I hate living in that house in the summer. He gets in the worst mood I've ever seen him and that's when he starts drinking the most.

I had another extremely disturbing dream

About someone I know

Who I hope would never do the things that happened in the dream

I may be unmotivated and a lost cause, but I apparently eat sandwiches very satisfyingly so I've got that going for me.

Spoiler - click to show.

Nothing's going right in my life and I want to die :))

Pickle no. I'm not good with emotions or helping with them but no

oh god I slept in too long and forgot to feed my own chinchildren today-
I know technically they’re nocturnal so I guess they were asleep anyway but the thought of them not having any food or water in a small cage for barely under 24 hours all because I forgot about them makes me sick
I’m such an awful parent…

My sister forgets to feed her human child and then wonders why he's so grumpy, she also leaves him unsupervised outside, we live in the desert and it's rattle snake season, he's 2. She also will kick him outside in the middle of the night even though he's scared of the dark so I have to go calm him down. . So If you feel bad, at least you're not like her, and at least you feel bad.

hHh time for sad lemon hours-

my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. she said that because of us being already separated by covid, that now it's time to actually separate.
i know i should feel sad, but my face has just been blank ever since she dumped me. it's like i just lost the one thing that made me feel something. i don't know what to do…
she said to me later "it's not you, it's me." she had to pull that cliche?? while i'm crying my eyes out????
but legit, i honestly don't know what to feel… or how I'm supposed to feel anything.

How does one explain
To their mother
That you cannot listen to music on a Chromebook
When the Chromebook is closed.
And that the only reason
That she can hear my music through my headphones
Is because she yelled at me to take them off
So I could hear her yelling at me to close my Chromebook, therefore not letting me listen to music in the car.
Why am I listening to music in the car, you may ask?
Because she doesn't like it when I play my music for the whole car on Bluetooth.

How does one explain
To their mother
That you cannot listen to music on a Chromebook
When the Chromebook is closed.
And that the only reason
That she can hear my music through my headphones
Is because she yelled at me to take them off
So I could hear her yelling at me to close my Chromebook, therefore not letting me listen to music in the car.
Why am I listening to music in the car, you may ask?
Because she doesn't like it when I play my music for the whole car on Bluetooth.

oh geez- that suCks,,,
your mom honestly needs to take a nap
or maybe a few naps