forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

After conducting research, I can confirm that I am a ✨human disaster✨

same though lmao

Update: I'm feeling good and have been for 5 entire minutes, this means that something bad will happen within an hour

I'm honestly vibing, you know, realizing that my crush is hella straight, staring at him in Chamber Choir right now, running all of my fantasies in my head, clown.

_{fucking idiot, stop falling for straight guys.}

My bestest friend in all the world called me his bestie in a comment on a fanfic I wrote and I am filled with joy

YOOOOOOOOOO ASH, WHAT'S THE LINK?

Also, The Unsent Project hits different.

dead yet by gabriel black is hitting h a r d
holy shit

YOOOOOOOOOO ASH, WHAT'S THE LINK?

sahifydjk here
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26840686

god i can't believe i let a therapist bring up my past sexual encounters today

i don't normally tell people abt my -ahem- past,,, bUt my school therapist and i started talking about how i was a victim of sexual harassment for quite some time when i was younger (thank you uncle :v) and i realized just then that i've been through hell and back as a kid without even realizing it. it was mainly my uncle being a huge pervert not just to me but my mom (yes, he was being a perv towards his sibling) and I'm starting to think that that's one of the many reasons why I'm suffering from an array of mental illness (general anxiety, major depressive disorder, and intermittent explosive disorder, just to name a few) and why i feel so awkward around men and boys cwhdsbs my therapist also said that this stuff that occurred in the past could be why I'm steering towards relationships with girls instead of boys, and i just sat there like,,, "god ur right idk how but ur halfway correct"

but on a slightly more positive note: i think that this crap i was put through as a kid really made me who i am today, which can be a good or bad thing depending on how u look at it ig. plus it felt good to finally tell someone that my uncle might as well have been a pedophile

TW // Nausea/vomit, mentions of self harm, being actually triggered

TW // Nausea/vomit, mentions of self harm, being actually triggered

Spoiler - click to show.

So, I was watching some random tiktok and they made a joke about self harm and made a repeated 'wrist slice' movement if that makes sense. I immediately felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach and was about to throw up all my organs. I'm still clean from sh right now, but it's been a rough week or so (lots of Sharpie skin doodles) and honestly… Now I feel sick. I hate throwing up, so that's n o t I d e a l. Ugh. Jesus fucking Christ.

Oh honey, I am so sorry. If you ever need to talk, I'm always here.

Am I really a bad person? Please be honest.

I really don't know you, nor have I seen you much, but I don't think you are from what I've seen. And besides, I say a bad person really wouldn't care if others think they're a bad person or not.

So the fact that you care enough to ask seems like a step in a good direction.

i am ✨not having it✨ today
i hate slope intercept with every fiber of my being
not to mention i'm slowly falling into the land of craving death
this shit sucks

(and now back to your regularly scheduled "fake happy" lemon)

I just, idk been doubting myself, and second guessing my actions.

Oh, I faintly remember slope intercept.

i am ✨not having it✨ today
i hate slope intercept with every fiber of my being
not to mention i'm slowly falling into the land of craving death
this shit sucks

(and now back to your regularly scheduled "fake happy" lemon)

hhhh I hate slope intercept

I'm thoroughly convinced that Satan created it

Yeah, well, I have to do trigonometry and hell.
_{and calculus, fuck it}

Tell me abou it…..EEEHHHH

So, guess who just had to take the PSAT for four hours?
And stayed up until twelve working on art commission prices and a website?
And forgot they had a test?
And didn't go over any of their notes like they planned to?

_{hint it's fucking me}

Oh shit I had to take the PSAT as well… I mean at least it's not a grade, right? It's not where I'm at, anyway

Throwback to that time when my mom took me to Boston for my tenth birthday to see a certain YouTuber live and I went on a plane for the first time(it was a 58-minute flight, the drive to the airport was longer than the flight) and I had a panic attack right before boarding and a bunch of people helped me, then the pilot gave me a badge and let me go in the cockpit when we landed
I looked out the window like, the whole time, and was sad when we landed

Boston was fun, lots of cobblestone streets

We also couldn't find anywhere to get dinner that night and I ended up having overpriced ginger ale and twizzlers at the live show
There was also beer there for the adults, which was funny considering that said YouTuber's target audience is under age 12

Anyway, that's a random story that a YouTube video(different YouTuber) just brought to the front of my mind

i am ✨not having it✨ today
i hate slope intercept with every fiber of my being
not to mention i'm slowly falling into the land of craving death
this shit sucks

(and now back to your regularly scheduled "fake happy" lemon)

hhhh I hate slope intercept

I'm thoroughly convinced that Satan created it

ugh same
satan created math in general, it sucks

Dude there's officially six positive COVID cases at my school
I don't know why that's freaking me out so much but I'm shaking

I think it may be because if I get COVID I won't be able to have my surgery on November 9th and even though we could just reschedule, when I have something planned I really need it to happen as planned. I don't know it that's an anxiety thing or whatever.