Vent about frustrating Parents below
I love my Mom, so so much, but some times, sometimes….
So my older sister, we'll call her T, just opened up to my parent's about some of the things she's going through. my mother's reaction
"What do you mean, she doesn't feel supported, You know how much we've done for her? Why does she think she's a bad person I'm not calling her a bad person. She made all of those mistakes because she didn't listen to us, You hear that girls, listen to your parents we know what we are talking about."
Like really Mom? She's literally telling you how she feels that's her perspective and all you're doing is complaining about how she is struggling?
"She did something wrong and she got consequences, she did something wrong and she got consequences. All of those things she did wrong, were things we told her not to do, see, obviously you should listen to us more."
This is why she feels like a bad person, because you are using her as an example of what not to do. You are literally making her the bad person.
"What does she mean by she feels like she's walking on egg shells at home."
You insult everything she does wrong with out looking at how much she's doing? She is working two jobs and trying to raise a toddler, she worked 58 hours last week, of course everything around her is a mess, she doesn't sleep at night because she has a toddler that refuses to sleep. And you are complaining that she's not grateful enough?
"She was stupid and did stupid things so her life collapsed, She needs to stop taking advantage of the help we're giving her and get her life together. No, we're not going to let her take our car to go scout out the neighborhood near the collage she wants to go to, why can't she move some where around here?"
Like this, this is exactly the problem , you don't want her to get her life back on her feet unless it's your way, you don't want her to succeed unless it's your way. Every time she try's to get on her feet in a way you don't like, you knock her back down, so yeah she feel's like she's walking on egg shells, no she doesn't feel supported. Support isn't just providing for someone financially, it's helping them emotionally.
And here is the real kicker. My other sister , H, and I went down to ask her to stop talking trash about T and she went off, about how disrespect full of us it was to say such a thing and it's just really hard for her, because T said she couldn't tell her friend any of this and she just needs validation.
Number one, That's the issue, you're looking to validate your own opinion with out looking at hers, you're running to your friends to confirm your own opinion and yelling at the people inside your family trying to help you better understand the situation.
Number Two. I don't care who you are, what you're issues are, you do not Yell at H when she expresses her opinion respectfully, Yell at me all you want, I can handle it. H can't, that is my sister, that is your daughter and she just did something that takes a lot of effort for her and asked you to stop, and then you yelled at her, and told her she was wrong. I don't care what you do to me, but do not yell at H. I wanted to sock her in the face for that.
This is why you are loosing us, this is why 5 of your kids don't want to talk to you about things, this is why we can't express ourselves. You say that we're making you the villain? You're right, we are, but you sure aren't making it very difficult.
End of Rant about Parent being not nice.
