"Tastes like pennies" "What 'cha eating" "Dirt."
I have had so many conversation like this cus I eat too much random stuff.
Oh my goodness haha
"If anyone gives me something, it will be getting tasted." "Here's cheese, eat it." "Ew no"
"SHHHHHH, Don't say that in a theater!!" "What?" "Macbeath- FUCK"
"SHHHHHH, Don't say that in a theater!!" "What?" "Macbeath- FUCK"
XD
"SHHHHHH, Don't say that in a theater!!" "What?" "Macbeath- FUCK"
XD
One time I said the name of the scottish play during a production of Pirates of Penzance… The next night, the lead sprained her ankle
"SHHHHHH, Don't say that in a theater!!" "What?" "Macbeath- FUCK"
XD
One time I said the name of the scottish play during a production of Pirates of Penzance… The next night, the lead sprained her ankle
YOU FUCKED IT UP!!
We needed 60 to get back on track again, so here we are!]
“WE DON’T NEED AN ANTAGONIST AT OLIVE GARDEN!”
“Croutons have NO sense of humor, MIA! FOR THE LAST TIME!!!”
“I need a diffuser. If I can’t cleanse my soul I’ll cleanse my house”
“I'm going to need a therapist to talk about my therapist.”
“Don’t ostracize librarians; they are like the bees, once they are gone we have nothing.”
“Why does Mom wear makeup?” “To look pretty.” “But she is already pretty.” “Awww!” “Dad, you should wear makeup.”
“WE MUST CULT AROUND THE SCISSORS! HUZZAH! HUZZAH! oH oW…”
“hOw dOeS sAnTa pEe?”
“Here’s a suspenseful story, so…so…Jack’s MOM, right, his mom? Yeah? So she went on a plane, all the way to California…pause…and she had an awesome time, right? So then she flew back to greet her kids, and it was fun like that.”
“I’m a fish!” “You’re a beautiful fish, Jake.” “I am?”
“I’m a Alien-fish-bird-potato!” “Um… very nice, Jared.”
“SINCE WHEN DID THE CHICKEN TENDERS BECOME COMMUNISTS?!”
“pEaCe iS niCe, pEaCe iS niCe, pEaCe iS bEtTeR tHaN microphone cracks CHICKEN AND RICE! pEaCe, pEaCe, pEaCe, niCe, niCe, niCe, pEaCe, pEaCe, cHiCkEn, cHiCkEn, microphone cracks, again RICE! RICE! RICE!”
“Cleanse, cleanse, cleanse, the sponges, cleanse out all the crap!”
“Giga-chads are BUFF.”
“What happened to all the morbid children's stories?” “Like red riding hood?”
“There was a Danish children's story about an evil cat who ate pretty much all of the humans that came near it, then he met a woodcutter. And you didn’t see it but the next picture is all the people, and the cat has a bandage around its stomach.”
“I don’t get why you’re all obsessed with my computer. See, this is my personal life account, and this is my school life account!”
“They called me a chicken and sent me to Ella.”
“Mrs. English Teacher? Can I sit here and do nothing?” “Here’s the thing, Jake. If you ask me, I’m going to say no, but if you don’t tell me, I might not notice.” “Oh.”
“So you’re telling me next semester you're going to have Ben right here? And be more productive?”
“RAP JUICE! You see, one sip a day will make you rap like Kanye.”
“YOUR MOM IS A HAIRDRYER!!!”
“Bloob lint…”
“I can call a monkey? Any time of the day? And it’ll talk to me? Oh? You have to be hot to call the monkey?”
“It’s hard, I know he has a ponytail, it’s confusing…” “WE HAVE A COMMON ANCESTOR OF MONKEYS, OK?” “I IDENTIFY AS A LIZARD, OK MRS. ENGLISH TEACHER?!”
“You either need to stop playing games, or just be sneakier.”
“Your title should be ‘I don’t like reading books.’” “OOOOH, YOU’RE THE ONLY TEACHER THAT’S TOLD ME THAT!!!!”
“Your stupid.” “your dumb.” “your mom.”
“What’s your name?” “Trevor…?” “How do you spell that?” “A-a-b-e-d-k-l-m-z!”
“So you’re from Utah?”
“That’s not fair!” “Zach, someday I’m going to make you define unfair.”
“Explain something to me that is actually unfair.” “this!” “No, really.” “Racism!” “good job!”
“How much powder do I need to eat to make myself throw up?”
“OOOH. waddle waddle”
“That’s pretty tough dude. You kinda suck.” “I HAVE ONE HEALTH” “Ooh I did it!”
“Why do skaters go online?”
“If they’re red, they’re bad.”
“EY, jump in the snow, jump in the snow! PLAY WITH ME”
“He’s a true man of Truman.”
“Mass of politician contrary.”
“BRUH, frick you brad!”
“Kay, no, all of us should actually get together and have a snowball fight sometime. Not my house, but yours.”
“Kay, but you told me you like stories about dogs, but not 14 year old girls babysitting?”
“He’s a captain because he’s wearing underpants…”
“Ming-Ming, duck!” “flips feathers YES, I AM A DUCK!” “NO LITERALLY MING-MING, DUCK!!!”
“EEEH shut up shut up shut up noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo”
“Three V three, guys! He’s one HP guys, GET OUT OF HERE” “DANGIT” “wooooooow hector”
“Wait hector? SO warren you’re on our team”
“Hector you just flip over” “I know OH OH OH dodge him OH OH NO”
“GALAXY GIRLS!!! YEAH!!!”
“So do you like books about galaxies, or books about girls?” “Um….. GALAXIES!!!!!”
“Nine-four-oh-one-gimkit. EVERYONE’S GAY”
“BRODYYY! You guys suck”
“Frikin mrs. hansan’s class. All my science classes do not have grades.” (??)
“Can u guess wut the boys in my class are doing?” “being dumb” “gAmiNG” “so, being dumb, then.”
“GUYS I JUST SHOT ALL THOSE SNOWBALLS AT ONCE*
“Shottie shottie she’s a hottie” “LETS GO”
“I’m about to use my hand!”
“IF I GET ONE MORE SNOWBALL WEDGED UP MY BUTT, I SWEAR I’M GOING TO SLAP SOMEONE!”
“Make sure you get the present.” “make sure you get the snowman.” “where?” “Right there.” “YOUR MOM”
“If you are a smart guy don't sue me” “Ok Mrs. Fiona”
“MCKAY MCKAY fur i cant see!” “Oh so funnnn” “Dude I need to shovel like five thousand times”
“I’ll give you 20,000 dollars to change your interest rate.” “Um… you don’t even know what an interest rate is, do you?”
clap clap clap
"SHHHHHH, Don't say that in a theater!!" "What?" "Macbeath- FUCK"
XD
One time I said the name of the scottish play during a production of Pirates of Penzance… The next night, the lead sprained her ankle
YOU FUCKED IT UP!!
I DID
"There's a used tampon of the ceiling!"
"There's a used tampon of the ceiling!"
Oh no
wHeRe diD yOu hEaR tHiS
"There's a used tampon of the ceiling!"
Oh no
wHeRe diD yOu hEaR tHiS
my brain
"There's a used tampon of the ceiling!"
Oh no
wHeRe diD yOu hEaR tHiS
my brain
Woulds guessed middleschool but whatevs-
"There's a used tampon of the ceiling!"
Oh no
wHeRe diD yOu hEaR tHiS
my brain
Woulds guessed middleschool but whatevs-
i am in middle school
"There's a used tampon of the ceiling!"
Oh no
wHeRe diD yOu hEaR tHiS
my brain
Woulds guessed middleschool but whatevs-
i am in middle school
Makes sense.
"I will vomit in your ear"
- "Best case scenario: you look like a dumbass. Worst case scenario: you die a dumbass."
(Chicken post some quotes, please I'm-)
As promised!
“I love just SpAmMiNg them and watching them go “AHHHHHHHH””
“Rap juice, by Jimmy the inventor. How does it work? Well, the answer is Kanye West.”
“I’M LITERALLY YOUR MOM” “Don’t kill me im gonna shoot you!” “ITS NOT TEAMING”
“I’ll be the Papa, you’ll be the Mama.”
“Why?” “Rap Juice.” “But… why?” “RAP. JUICE.”
“I was known as the notorious O-R-E-O.” “Oreo?” “nO.”
“What if I put it in my dirt bike?” “The dirt bike will rap.”
“Do blind people just rub their grimy fingers all over groceries?”
“If he’s gonna be a butt, why can’t I show him how it feels to be…” Awkward silence “Butted?”
“MR. GRAMMAR!!!! ADDIE GAVE ME A REINDEER!!!”
“Stay fresh, cheese bags!”
“BACK. STREET’S. BACK. ALRIGHT!!!”
“Hey! You just hit me with the pass! Did you mean to do that?” “Yes… runs for his life”
“This article tells how to make a vision board. Maybe it’s a little cheesy, too, but oh well! Embrace the cheese! Cheese for all!”
“Apparently when we die we don’t have skin or faces.”
“Does it creepily talk to you in your sleep?” “No…” “Why not?”
“You looked like a drunk driver, sweetheart.”
“YOU WANSUM, YOU WANSUM, YOU WANSUM TIIIIIISSSSSUUUUUUUEEEES?”
“I must swipe my credit card through your buttcrack, okay, Tes-TEs?”
“Have you seen Scar from the Lion King? He’s like, such a hottie.”
“I get to smack boxes for money!”
“Is that a violin?” Awkward silence while everyone stares at Jace, then the trumpet “That is the STUPIDEST QUESTION I have EVER heard you ask. And you say a LOT of stupid things.”
“Hey! Rude!” “Hate to break it to you, but green beans don’t have feelings.”
“I’m sorry that you’re an orphan.” “I’M NOT AN ORPHAN!!!” “It’s just a phase. Duke, come calm your adopted son!” “MY. DAD. IS. NOT. DUKE. AND. HE. DOES. NOT. LIVE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!”
“I don’t cry over girls, my mascara is too 💅eXpAhnSahVE.💅”
“I mean, I don’t like you making comments about my appearance, but you’re okay to…whimper”
“Pink is a boy color.” “Does that mean black is a girl color?” “Yes.” “YEAH!” “Oh, wait, nevermind, hahaha, black’s a gang color.” “I’d join a gang if I could.”
“ALRIGHT TOM! I’ve waited long enough! Spill the beans!” “OH C’mon Kathrine! You made me spill a perfectly good pot of beans!”
“Ya want it, Sock Dump?”
“Buh-booooowwww, buh-bowwwwwww, buh-boooowwwwwww.”
“Did you just call my parents ugly?!” “No, it was a bear. But I’m sure the bear could tell you that, too.”
“It made me fat!” “And it made me call her fat!”
“I burned my house down for all that insurance money!” “Um…”“hAhAhahahAHAhAhaHAhaHA”
"Do not stick bath products up your butt. Do you not realize how inconvenient farting bubbles would be?"
“We can't ibuprofen our way out of this one, girlies.”
“PLEASE don’t go all Alvin-and-the-Chimpmunks on us, we’ll respect your privacy.”
"And yes, I am interested in guys who look like maniacs and I'm not ashamed of that."
"Mulan is a horror movie, right?"
"maple over canada to the zero power?"
"could you perhaps make a chair that would zap him every time he says something stupid?"
"that's a lot of minutes for a detention. what did he even do?" "he threw a pencil across the room. and he said the r word." "the r word…???" "yeah, racist."
"You NEED to understand that you’re a watermelon, okay?”
“You’ve got to insert sphynx kittens into amazon boxes in order for world hunger to grow worse and trees to grow neon pink soda cans. Okay?”
“WAFFLES ARE JUST PANCAKES WITH ABS, AND NO ONE CAN TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT!”
“You unwashed left CHEEK!”
“Does anybody else hold their pee by squeezing their buttcheeks tight together, and sittting at an angle? Just me?”
"Eres guapo." - Me
"Uhhh nien?" - The guy I was flirting with who doesn't know Spanish
“Uruguay is just South American Canada.”
“Please stop doing tiktoks and fix our limbs.”
“No thanks, I like skin cancer. Obviously.”
“The real question is, who are the 1% of butlers who aren't named Sebastian and why are they not captured yet?”
“WHY CAN’T WE EAT UNSCENTED CARPET MOTHERS?!”
“Onto you, MRS. SEDUCER.”
“THESE CUPS ARE ABSOLUTELY USELESS!” “You turn it upside down and pour into the other side…” “BUT I’D SPILL ALL OF MY APPLE JUICE.” “Ferguson, Ferguson. DRINK THE REMAINS.” “Okay, fine…” drinks the remains “Now, turn it upside down, pour YOUR FREAKING APPLE JUICE INTO THE VISIBLY CUP-LIKE PART, AND DRINK IT!” does it “IT’S WEIRD, IT’S UPSIDE DOWN, BUT NOW I CAN GET DRUNKER WAAAAAYYYY FASTER! HOORAY!” “IT’S. APPLE. JUICE.”
"You have to draw the ears, otherwise it looks like a demented baby."
“I AM ALPHA, and OMEGA!” “That’s not possible.” “I’M LONELY AND SINGLE, IDIOT!”
“OH, mArtHa, eHeHAHeheAH.”
“Alex tickled Jake's buttcrack.”
“I too enjoy dragon entrails and pasta.”
“Put your toes down so I can suck on them!”
“A WHOLE NEW WORLD!!!!” “No singing The Little Mermaid in the library!” “A WHOLE NEW WORLD!!!! I’m not. It’s Aladdin.”
“Hahaha, did you know lightning is black???”
(To the tune of We wish you a merry christmas) “We wish you a merry beef sticks, we wish you a merry beef sticks, we wish you a merry beef sticks and a happy cheese cube! We really like cheese, and beef sticks are good, we wish you a merry beef sticks and a happy cheese cube!!!”
“You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy choccy chips, which is close enough.”
“Ok but what if I touched your balls?”
“You haven’t ever accidentally pissed on the floor?!”