forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)
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tune
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Deleted user

So I’m talking to Nate, as I usually do, mostly because he was feeling really upset today. We’re talking, and we’re talking, and suddenly he asks me what I think my influence is on his life, and how much I think I have on it.

I essentially start off saying I have a bad influence on people I hang out with. I slowed him down on his work ethic and I do that to essentially everyone. They don’t text me unless they have to, they talk to me for wisdom or whatever, but on the downtime of when they don’t need me… nothing’s there. They don’t talk to me. Nate’s essentially the only person who talks to me very often, and allows me to show my whole crackhead energy, and how I am and how I act. It rubs off on him and it feels like I ruin him.

But he follows up with “You deserve so much more attention than what it sounds like you get.”

I was never able to say that to myself.

I

I always thought I was able to tell myself anything, but that one phrase, “You deserve so much attention than what you get” is something I’ve never been able to say. I don’t know why, and hearing that coming from someone so important to me is just… It made me so emotional. I seriously teared up and told him up front like… that’s something I’ve never heard before. It just made me reflect on how much I need to do, and how far away I am from reaching the glory that is life without depression.

I took it as a good thing, of course, but it was also… I have no idea how to explain it. Almost bittersweet but in a more sweet way.

@HighPockets group

So I’m talking to Nate, as I usually do, mostly because he was feeling really upset today. We’re talking, and we’re talking, and suddenly he asks me what I think my influence is on his life, and how much I think I have on it.

I essentially start off saying I have a bad influence on people I hang out with. I slowed him down on his work ethic and I do that to essentially everyone. They don’t text me unless they have to, they talk to me for wisdom or whatever, but on the downtime of when they don’t need me… nothing’s there. They don’t talk to me. Nate’s essentially the only person who talks to me very often, and allows me to show my whole crackhead energy, and how I am and how I act. It rubs off on him and it feels like I ruin him.

But he follows up with “You deserve so much more attention than what it sounds like you get.”

I was never able to say that to myself.

I

I always thought I was able to tell myself anything, but that one phrase, “You deserve so much attention than what you get” is something I’ve never been able to say. I don’t know why, and hearing that coming from someone so important to me is just… It made me so emotional. I seriously teared up and told him up front like… that’s something I’ve never heard before. It just made me reflect on how much I need to do, and how far away I am from reaching the glory that is life without depression.

I took it as a good thing, of course, but it was also… I have no idea how to explain it. Almost bittersweet but in a more sweet way.

IT'S TRUE AND HE SHOULD SAY IT

YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING GOOD IN THE WORLD

@Jay-Marae-is-in-an-emotional-maze

Wow this is a very planned out online drinking game.
What's all of the rules, and when do you take a shot for something?
Also, Nate sounds like an awesome dude, Emi, and you guys are very lucky to have each other in each other's lives!

@Jay-Marae-is-in-an-emotional-maze

Also, today was a strange mixture of sucky and good.
First of all, I found out I really don't know how to respond when stranger are nice to me. I was volunteering at a volleyball tournament and as I was line-judging this one player kept saying thank you and commenting on some good calls and me being the awkward little bean was just like uM tHaNk YoU i GuEsS but when I talk to stranger my voice always gets really quiet and high until I'm barely squeaking out tHaNk YoU

Also I starting beating myself up mentally at my friends birthday party all of a sudden for no reason while all of us were hanging out and listening to music and my friend (who hates it when I advoid his questions to ask if I'm ok when I'm obviously not) whose party it was asked me if I was good and I passed if off as being tired but I was really just downing myself (also they kept taking photos and I looked really ugly and my hair tie got pulled out twice which always makes me uncomfortable because I'm so fricking ugly and I keep my hair up all of the time for a reason.)
It was still fun for the most part at the tournament and the party tho