Karma: Hey, this body is flawless. Everyone wants a piece of me and I've got the creepy fanfiction to prove it.
Dally: When you've been in this field as long as I have, you develop a thick skin.
Jack, walking past: Magenta is not your color.
Dally: MAGENTA BRINGS OUT MY EYES, YOU PRICK!
Quill: Why are you like this?
Anthony: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a child and haven't felt a single emotion since then.
Oleander: Hey, this body is flawless. Everyone wants a piece of me and I've got the creepy fanfiction to prove it.
Oleander: When you've been in power as long as I have, you develop a thick skin.
Maia, walking past: Plum is not your color.
Oleander: PLUM IS A ROYAL COLOR, YOU PRICK!
Oops, new character time?
Eliot: Who are you?
Tabitha: I'm not quite sure.
Tabitha: I’m on my way, what should I bring?
Eliot: A good mood
Tabitha: I’m not coming.
Imogen: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Tabitha: Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna be pretty disgusting.
Tabitha: Toss me my keys.
Printer crashes next to him
Tabitha: I said my keys!
Kels: I thought you said printer.
Tabitha: Why the fuck would I say printer-
Imogen, traumatized: I killed him. I killed him-
Tabitha: No, you just shot him, okay? Give me the gun.
Tabitha: Proceeds to headshot the person bleeding out
Tabitha: See that? I killed him.
Addie: This is not how we fix things.
Kay: Let’s say, hypothetically, I did the mash, and for the sake of debate, let’s say it was a monster mash. Would that, hypothetically speaking, mean that it would be a graveyard sm-
Imogen: I’m crying because I’m happy.
Tabitha: That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about happiness to dispute it.
Tabitha: Alright everyone, we will meet here in one hour, sync your watches.
Eliot: Mine doesn’t do that.
Imogen: I don’t wear a watch.
Kels: Time is a construct.
Tabitha: Inhale
Tabitha: The world is broken, and I’m sad because there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
Kay: The world is broken, but there’s an odd beauty in the dark parts.
Kels: The world is broken, and I am angry, and I am going to fight to fix it.
Imogen: Maybe the world is broken, but I’ve got a guitar.
Tabitha: I hate losing more than I like winning.
Tabitha: I'm leaving for three days. Eliot and Addie are in charge. I've left notes for each of you with instructions.
Kay: Mine just says “Kay, no.'
Tabitha: And you can apply that to every possible situation.
Allison: Hey, this body is flawless. Everyone wants a piece of me and I've got the creepy fanfiction to prove it.
Vozreal: Let’s say, hypothetically, I did the mash, and for the sake of debate, let’s say it was a monster mash. Would that, hypothetically speaking, mean that it would be a graveyard sm-
Allison: The world is broken, and I’m sad because there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
Azrael: The world is broken, but there’s an odd beauty in the dark parts.
Rachel: The world is broken, and I am angry, and I am going to fight to fix it.
Vozreal: Maybe the world is broken, but I’ve got a guitar.
Kay: Would you bail me out of jail?
Kels: No.
Kay: Well you didn't have to say it so fast.
Imogen: Everybody’s got a gay cousin.
Kels: I don’t have a gay cousin.
Imogen:
Kels: Oh wait, I'm the gay cousin–
Addie, nearly in tears: Kay, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.
Eliot, at five AM: Oh, good morning. I didn't know you're an early bird.
Tabitha: I never went to bed.
Kels: I'm not interested in being polite or heterosexual.
Imogen: We commend the body of my fallen friend Kay Carth to the abode of the damned.
Imogen: The damned good looking.
Tabitha:
Addie:
Eliot:
Kels:
Imogen: Kay begged me to tell that joke at their funeral.
Kay: We need to distract the Director from coming over here!
Kay: Quick, Addie, start talking about boring nerd stuff!
Addie: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.
Kay: Yeah, that's perfect. Just like that. Keep going.
Imogen: Remember, murder is never the answer.
Kels: Of course. Murder is the question.
Tabitha: And the answer is yes.
The Director: So what are all your skills?
Tabitha: I'm a skilled knife thrower
Kels: I can beat just about anyone in hand-to-hand.
Imogen: I make good life choices
The Director: That’s not really-
Eliot: No, trust us. She’s our most important member.
Tabitha: I'm over this.
Eliot: Over what?
Tabitha: All of it.
Eliot: Could you be more specific?
Tabitha: Specifically everything.
my characters have kids and i've finally aged them up to develop them? incorrect quotes
Alexis: I'm leaving for three days. Loreto is in charge. I've left notes for each of you with instructions
Tegan: Mine just says “Tegan, no'
Alexis: And you can apply that to every possible situation
Tegan: Let’s say, hypothetically, I did the mash, and for the sake of debate, let’s say it was a monster mash. Would that, hypothetically speaking, mean that it would be a graveyard sm-
Stranger: Who are you?
Eros: I'm not quite sure
Tegan: Toss me my keys.
Printer crashes next to her
Tegan: I said my keys!
Eros: I thought you said printer
Tegan: Why the fuck would I say printer-
Eros, giving Tegan winter driving lessons: No zoomy-zoom on the slicky-slick, or you go boomy-boom in the ditchy-ditch and have to wait for a towy-tow in the cold snowy-snow
Tegan: But what if I want to go boomy-boom?
(they're just a few months apart in age)
Tegan: I'm gonna recreate the authentic Applebee's strawberita
Tess: How are you gonna capture the essence of class warfare?
Eros: Pick a number between 40 and 60
Tegan: 47… why?
Eros: I'm pricing my nudes on OnlyFans
Eros: A lifetime of frugality over tacos will not make you a homeowner, Tegan
Random Man: Hey! It says "don't walk."
Tegan: And my friend says there's a straight, single man with a job and antibodies at her birthday party, so I'm gonna need you to loosen the fuck up
Eros: The trust is gone, this relationship is over
Tegan: All because I said "Yeehaw"???
Tegan: I don't know man, she makes me want to be less of a bitch
Tess: Damn. That's true love
Eros: I'll probably move in with my boyfriend in the next 6 months
Alexis & Wolf: I didn't know you had a boyfriend???
Eros: I don't, but I feel confident in that journey for me
Tess: You know what my safe word is? Mike Pence… because I would never say those words
Loreto: How's your dating life going?
Tegan: I would say physically I'm more bisexual right now, but emotionally I'm definitely asexual
Eros: The queen of England doesn't have a real job, right? Like, she's just an influencer for the whole country?
Alexis: I'm blaming your dad on this insanity
Woman at post office: Ma'am, do you have any explosives or flammable items?
Tegan: Oh god, no! I'm not organized enough to be a terrorist
Eros: Won't stop you from carrying around explosives
Tegan: I told him I'm not working, he ordered more drinks than me, and he STILL let me split the bill. I can't afford to date progressive guys in this economy, I gotta go back to misogynists
Alexis, making small talk: What are you doing now?
Tegan, a little shit: I'm a stay at home daughter
Tegan: I think he played himself. He will never find someone with my rack and sense of humor. They're normally mutually exclusive
Eros: Put avocado on racism so white people pay attention
Eros: All my social anxiety is gone
Loreto: What's your secret?
Eros: There's no society anymore
Waiter: You can have just champagne, or we have orange juice which you can add to it. In France, they call it Mimosa
Tegan: In Greece and Italy, we call that watering down.
Eros: We only have olives and half a loaf of bread at home, we need to stock up
Tegan: Yeah, shall we get some wine?
Tegan: Babe, it's just not my fate to die from Coronavirus. Choked to death in a foursome maybe, but Coronavirus, no fucking way
Eros: walks into a lamp post
Eros: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry
Eros: Londoners are professionals at minding their own business. You could be choking to death and the woman next to you will continue reading her paper
American: I love your accents!
Eros: Honestly, it's a burden. We can't even say 'great' without sounding aggressively sarcastic
Tegan: And no one has a clue where we're from
Eros: The difference between Brits and Americans is simple. In America, there are awkward silences. In England, the silences are hostile.
~Train is stuck at 2:50AM~
Driver: Move away from the doors please so the train can move
Driver: repeats several times
Driver: Thank you to the passenger that pushed them out of the train
Tegan: You're welcome
Allison: I told him I'm not working, he ordered more drinks than me, and he STILL let me split the bill. I can't afford to date progressive guys in this economy, I gotta go back to misogynists
Allison: Pick a number between 40 and 60
Azrael: 47… why?
Allison: I'm pricing my nudes on OnlyFans
Thomas: So, Ash just burned Adams.
James: Metaphorically?
Aaron: No, physically.
Ash: YOU SON OF A BITC–
Thomas, kicking the crap out of Ash: NO CURSING IN FRONT OF THE CHILD!
Ash: WHAT CHILD!?
Thomas: JAMES FOR LORDS SAKE!
James: . . . What the actual fuck?
Unzari: I remember meeting you when we were kids, You're my half-sister aren't you
Minato: Yo I don't know you is nor was I alerted of your existence
Jackson: I'm gonna recreate the authentic Applebee's strawberita
Geneva: How are you gonna capture the essence of class warfare?
Oleander: Pick a number between 40 and 60
Lavinia: 47. Why?
Oleander: I'm pricing my nudes on OnlyFans
Tabitha: I don't know, Kay, he makes me want to be less of a bitch.
Kay: Damn. That's true love.
Kay: The Chancellor of Andalay doesn't have a real job, right? Like, she's just an influencer for the whole country?
Imogen: I'm blaming this insanity on your dad.
Oleander: It's just not my fate to die from some sort of war. Choked to death in a foursome maybe, but war? No fucking way.
Victor: Walks into a lamp post
Victor: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry
Cordelia: The difference between humans and faeries is simple. Back in Alchester, there are awkward silences. In Ignis, the silences are hostile.
jo, on the phone: fuck you. seriously, i literally can't do this anymore.
hangs up
jo: sorry, i was on the phone with at&t
cisco: i'll be fine, i'm taking garlic 3-5 times a day
catori: bitch, it ain't vampires
nicky: a lifetime of frugality over tacos will not make you a homeowner, cisco
everette, pre catori and aella, on air while talking about the mermaids just off the coast: i wouldn't say we're dating. we're friends but not actual friends, like we hook up but can't have a real conversation for longer than 20 minutes
nicky: the trust is gone. this relationship is over
cisco: all because i said yeehaw????????
caroline: i don't know…she makes me want to be a little nicer.
jo, sprawled out on the dining hall table in front of her: damn, that's true love
catori: yeah so my therapist told me we weren't a good match
jo: you and caroline?
catori: no, me and my therapist
kas: why do you have a pez dispenser on your keychain?
jo: that's pepper spray
catori, holding up her keychain: mine's pez
catori, on the phone in cereal isle at target: i'm in a toxic relationship with america
stranger: can i pet your dog?
kas: she's the one you want to pet, ask her
caroline: can you take a pic of me?
jo: are you sure? you don't look good
host: how many?
cisco(a teenager): a table for one, but i'll be drinking for two
kas: apparently this dairy-free, gluten free icecream is like crack
isaac(local convenience store employee): i've had crack and i can guarantee crack is better
catori, pointing at the sunset: the sky is pumpkin spice
nicky, being held back by a snickering cisco: i will kill you
kas: walks into a lamp post
kas: oh my god im so sorry
Geneva, on the phone: Fuck you. Seriously, I literally can't do this anymore.
Geneva: Hangs up
Geneva: Sorry, I was on the phone with AT&T
Geneva, about Jackson: We're not dating. We're friends, but not actual friends. Like, we hook up but can't have a real conversation for longer than 20 minutes.
Portia: The trust is gone. This relationship is over.
Vince: All because I said yeehaw?
Beatrice: I don't know…she makes me want to be a little nicer.
Oscar, sprawled out on the dining hall table in front of her: Damn, that's true love.
Bee: Why do you have a Pez dispenser on your keychain?
Kate: That's pepper spray.
Bee, holding up her keychain: Mine's Pez.
Jamie: Can I pet your dog?
Georgie: She's the one you want to pet, ask her.
Host: How many?
Geneva: A table for one, but I'll be drinking for two.
Martha: Apparently this dairy-free, gluten free ice cream is like crack!
Geneva: I've had crack and I can guarantee crack is better.
Tabitha, left alone with a kid:
Kid:
Tabitha: Say fuck.
Addie: Psychological fact, people who are fascinated by serial killers were rated 70 times more interesting conversationalists compared to those who are not.
Tabitha: And yet you still suck at carrying on a conversation.
Kay, drunk and dangling upside down on the couch: We should be thankful that "anti-thunderstorms" with flashes of extreme darkness during the day followed by loud, high-pitch screeches, don't exist
Tabitha: What the actual fuck.
Addie: Actually no, I wanna see that.
Kay: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.
Tabitha: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient.
Tabitha: This is coming from a thief. I speak the truth.
Imogen: The smell of Home Depot is cathartic
Imogen: Faeries live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department
Tabitha: Stop romanticizing Home Depot
Imogen: Pixies live in the paint aisle. Fuck you
Kay: As a procrastinating overachiever I feel like I don't necessarily "half-ass" things. It's more like a "3/4 ass." Like overall did I do pretty well? Yeah. Did I reach my maximum potential though? I think the fuck not.
Kels: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Tabitha: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one you'll be fined.
Imogen: Heck
Tabitha: You're on thin fucking ice-
Tabitha:
Tabitha: Oh no.
Imogen: Good morning.
Addie: Good morning.
Eliot: Good morning.
The Director: You all sound like robots. Come on, spice it up a bit will you?
Kay, bursting through door with a martini: MORNING, MOTHERFUCKERS!
The Director: Forget I said anything.
Kay: I hate how reward systems never work for me. Like I can't just say "if I finish this assignment I can have a cookie" because my brain is like "….or you could just have one right now" and I can't argue with that logic
Kay: Self-imposed deadlines don't work either because I know the person who set them and they're full of shit
Imogen: Why do people say “oh I can’t eat that it’s breakfast", time is a man made concept and I’m ready for this popcorn chicken.
Imogen: Wake up, Meyer, it's morning.
Tabitha: I'm dead, leave your flowers and go.
Kels: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.
Tabitha: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it's "intelligent" and "really cool" but when I do it I'm "petty" and "need to move on"
Leaoni: I throw in a bit of sugar-
Leaoni: Oh my god. That's salt. I'm an idiot.
Leaoni: What do we say when we start feeling anxious?
Varian: My anxiety is chronic but my ass is iconic.
Leaoni: No.
Frost, at a bar, very drunk: I don't know why people make such a big deal out of lying. It's super easy. You just say stuff. My sister thought I was straight until I was 17. You still think my name is Frost.
Leaoni, also drunk: wait what-
Varian: Why are you making french toast? We just ate.
Alune: It's for Phel.
Varian: Why are you making your cat french toast?
Alune: She doesn't know how.
Kallai: Rules exist for a reason.
Frost: To be broken.
Kallai: Nothing exists to be br-
Frost, aggressively snapping a glow-stick: Wrong again, mon ami.
Alune: I am a triple threat. I’m depressed, anxious, and gay.
Varian, looking in the mirror: You gotta draw the line somewhere! You gotta draw a fuckin' line in the sand, Varian! You gotta make a statement! You gotta look inside yourself and say, 'what am I willing to put up with today?' NOT FUCKING THIS!
Leaoni: Here's a fun idea: we hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing the person we're caught underneath with, we have to FIGHT them.
Sana: We're not doing that.
Kallai, nodding: Mistlefoe.
Sana: Kallai! Don't encourage her-
Frost during a crisis: (singing Mamma Mia unintelligibly)
Leaoni: I can't get Alune out of the lab.
Varian: Tell him I said something.
Leaoni: Like what?
Varian: Anything factually incorrect.
(five minutes later)
Alune, bursting into the room: You think the earth is flat?!
Varian: If I was the joker, I’d just get a restraining order on batman and superman. What are they gonna do? Break the Law? Then they’re no better than me, a cold-blooded murderer. And this would 100% work because movies have the shittiest take on ethics since fucking Kant.
Frost: You know, I’ve met some of the most insufferable people on these adventures.
Frost: But they also met me, so.
Varian: Truth or dare?
Alune: Truth.
Varian: How many hours of sleep have you had this week?
Alune: Dare.
Varian: Go to sleep.
Alune: I don't like this game.
Frost: Do you know why koalas aren't classified as bears?
Alune: Because they're marsupials.
Frost:
Alune:
Frost, walking away and mumbling under his breath: Because they're marsupials - NO IT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT KOALAFICATIONS.
Kallai: I'm leaving for a few days. Alune is in charge. I've left notes for each of you with instructions.
Varian: Mine just says 'Varian, no.'
Kallai: And you can apply that to every possible situation.
Leaoni: That dude wanted to buy you a drink.
Sana: Really? But I already have a drink. Do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?
Nathaniel, at a bar, very drunk: I don't know why people make such a big deal out of lying. It's super easy. You just say stuff. My brothers thought I was straight until I was 17. You still think my name is Nathan Allan.
Douglas, also drunk: Wait, what-
Christopher: Why are you making french toast? We just ate.
Georgie: It's for Blanche.
Christopher: Why are you making your dog french toast?
Georgie: She doesn't know how.
Beck: If I was the Joker, I’d just get a restraining order on Batman. What's he gonna do? Break the law? Then he's no better than me, a cold-blooded murderer. And this would 100% work because movies have the shittiest take on ethics since fucking Kant.
Franky: Do you know why koalas aren't classified as bears?
Robin: Because they're marsupials.
Franky:
Robin:
Franky, walking away and mumbling under his breath: Because they're marsupials - NO IT'S BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT KOALAFICATIONS.
Franky: What kind of dinosaur talked the most?
Robin: Well, technically, we're not sure if dinosaurs were able to communicate verbally.
Franky:
Robin:
Franky, walking away and mumbling under his breath: We're not sure if- NO IT'S A THESAURUS
Law: On to Plan 2.
Bepo: Don't you mean Plan B?
Law: That would insinuate we only have 26 plans.
Luffy: Quick! Torao's choking! Call 911!
Usopp: The 9 isn't working!
Luffy: Turn it upside down and use the 6!
Law: stops choking What the fu-
Luffy, hitting his hand on the table: Ow, my armkle!
Law: His what?
Nami: His wrist.
Sanji: Zoro, could you pick up the trash?
Zoro: Sure.
Sanji: Wh- PUT ME DOWN
Hey look I came back.
Daniella: Why are you like this?
Silas: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a child and haven't felt a single emotion since then.
Daniella: …
Daniella: Is that a joke?
Octavia: Can I punch him?
Runs: Not in public.
Silas: You hate people?
Octavia: Yes.
Silas: And I hate people.
Silas: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Octavia: No.
Kym: Hey, this body is flawless. Everyone wants a piece of me and I've got the creepy fanfiction to prove it.
Josiah: When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
Silas: Unless life also gives you water and sugar, your lemonade is gonna be pretty disgusting.
Alene: I’m crying because I’m happy.
Octavia: That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about happiness to dispute it.
Alene: The world is broken, and I’m sad because there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
Silas: The world is broken, but there’s an odd beauty in the dark parts.
Octavia: The world is broken, and I am angry, and I am going to fight to fix it.
Josiah: Maybe the world is broken, but I’ve got a guitar.
Kay: Would you bail me out of jail?
Kels: No.
Kay: Well you didn't have to say it so fast.
Addie, nearly in tears: Kay, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.
Eliot, at five AM: Oh, good morning. I didn't know you're an early bird.
Tabitha: I never went to bed.
Kym: I'm not interested in being polite or heterosexual.
The General: So what are all your skills?
Alene: I'm a skilled knife thrower
Octavia: I can beat just about anyone in hand-to-hand.
Josiah: I make good life choices
The General: That’s not really-
Alene: No, trust us. He’s our most important member.
Kym: I'll probably move in with my boyfriend in the next 6 months.
Sam: I didn't know you had a boyfriend???
Kym: I don't, but I feel confident in that journey for me.
Waiter: You can have just champagne, or we have orange juice which you can add to it. In France, they call it Mimosa
Kym: In Greece, we call that watering down.
Nathaniel: walks into a lamp post
Nathaniel: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry
Sam: Can you take a pic of me?
Kym: Are you sure? You don't look good.
Host: How many?
Kym: A table for one, but I’ll be drinking for two.
Josiah: Apparently this dairy-free, gluten free icecream is like crack.
Kym: I’ve had crack and I can guarantee crack is better.
Kym, drunk and dangling upside down on the couch: We should be thankful that "anti-thunderstorms" with flashes of extreme darkness during the day followed by loud, high-pitch screeches, don't exist
Octavia: What the actual fuck.
Silas: Actually no, I wanna see that.
Kym: I may be trash, but I'm high quality trash. Premium trash. Grade A trash. The kind of trash your mom would look at and say "should this be recycling?" Yeah, I'm that kind of trash.
Kym: If you are so committed to being perfectly lawful that you cannot see the value of breaking a law to defend yourself or others, you're not good, you're obedient.
Kym: This is coming from a thief. I speak the truth.
Alene: The smell of Home Depot is cathartic.
Alene: Faeries live in the lights & chandeliers section, gnomes live in the outdoor gardening department.
Josiah: Stop romanticizing Home Depot.
Alene: Pixies live in the paint aisle. Fuck you.
Daniella: I feel like I don't necessarily "half-ass" things. It's more like a "3/4 ass." Like overall did I do pretty well? Yeah. Did I reach my maximum potential though? I think not.
Kym: Half of me is a hopeless romantic and the other half of me is, well, an asshole.
Daniella: Good morning.
Josiah: Good morning.
Sam: Good morning.
Rune: You all sound like robots. Come on, spice it up a bit will you?
Kym, bursting through door with a martini: MORNING, MOTHERFUCKERS!
Rune: Forget I said anything.
Orion: Rules exist for a reason.
Kym: To be broken.
Orion: Nothing exists to be br-
Kym, aggressively snapping a glow-stick: Wrong again, mon ami.
Octavia: You know, I’ve met some of the most insufferable people on these adventures.
Octavia: But they also met me.
Silas: Same.
Eliot: Why are you like this?
Tabitha: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a child and haven't felt a single emotion since then.
Eliot: …
Eliot: Is that a joke?
Imogen: You hate people?
Kels: Yes.
Imogen: And you hate people.
Tabitha: Yes.
Imogen: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Kels and Tabitha, at the same time: No.
Darlene: Hey, this body is flawless. Everyone wants a piece of me and I've got the creepy fanfiction to prove it.
Christopher: The world is broken, and I’m sad because there’s nothing I can do to fix it.
Cordelia: The world is broken, but there’s an odd beauty in the dark parts.
Gabriel: The world is broken, and I am angry, and I am going to fight to fix it.
Georgie: Maybe the world is broken, but I’ve got a dog.
Henry, about his college plan: I'll probably move in with my boyfriend in the next 6 months.
Victor: I didn't know you had a boyfriend?
Henry: I don't, but I feel confident in that journey for me.
Lo and behold, 6 months later-
Oscar: You can have just champagne, or we have orange juice which you can add to it. In Praesi, they call it a mimosa.
Douglas: In Bassen, we call that watering down.
Tabitha: Giving people money goes against my religion
Tabitha: Or at least that's what I've been trying to tell the government for these past few years.
Eliot: Tall people. If we are walking, please take into consideration my tiny legs. I cannot keep up with you.
Kay: Just get a pair of roller skates and hang onto my sleeve.
Imogen: I'm a sophisticated adult, okay?
Imogen: Just last week I purchased a vegetable!
Mugger: Give me your wallet and you won't get hurt.
Imogen, handing over her wallet: Wanna be my friend?
Mugger: No.
Imogen, taking her wallet back: But you said… :(
Imogen: If you kill a killer, the number of killers stay the same.
Tabitha and Kels, simultaneously: Kill two.
Imogen: What's the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?
Kels: The audacity.
Kels: Kay and I have that kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-
Kay: Sentences.
Kels: Don't interrupt me.
Kay: Here's your birthday card!
Addie, opening it: Thank you.
Addie:
Addie: …Did you handwrite "asjsklaksjafsa ily"?
Kay: And I meant every word.
Imogen: Have a nice day!
Tabitha: Don't tell me what to do.
Kels: Okay, so get this.
Kels: You make ten meals and you're not a cook.
Kels: You make twenty paintings and you're not an artist.
Kels: But you kill one person-
Addie: Katya, it's 3 am. Please go to sleep.
Addie: You want to hear something dirty?
Kay: Yeah.
Addie: The kitchen.
Kay:
Addie: Go clean the kitchen.
Andric: You can trust me. Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river yesterday.
Kels: Let's not forget who PUSHED ME IN!
Andric: Anyways, as I was saying.
Kay: The fire alarm in my building keeps going off.
Kay: So I did what anyone would do, and made the bed and swiffered the floors in case a truckload of hot dudes end up going apartment to apartment.
Tabitha: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.
Eliot, taking her order: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?
Imogen: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Tabitha: It's usually an oncoming train.
Imogen: Could you just try not to kill my vibe for five fucking seconds.
Kels: I was a young beautiful girl filled with rage back then.
Kels: Wait, I’m still filled with rage! And still hot.
Kels: Get me a gun!
Eliot: Hold on, let me overthink it.
Kay: We have fun, don’t we?
Eliot: I have never been more stressed in my entire life
Eliot: It's unhealthy to eat past 9pm
Kay, eating Lucky Charms at 3am: Oh man, good thing time is an illusion
Mugger: Give me your wallet and you won't get hurt.
Josiah, handing over his wallet: Wanna be my friend?
Mugger: No.
Josiah, taking her wallet back: But you said… :(
Sam: What's the first thing you notice when a man approaches you?
Alene: The audacity.
Sam: Here's your birthday card!
Daniella, opening it: Thank you.
Daniella:
Daniella: …Did you handwrite "asjsklaksjafsa ily"?
Sam: And I meant every word.
Orion: Have a nice day!
Octavia: Don't tell me what to do.
Silas: You can trust me. Let's not forget who pulled you out of the river yesterday.
Daniella: Let's not forget who PUSHED ME IN!
Silas: Anyways, as I was saying.
Kym: The fire alarm in my building keeps going off.
Kym: So I did what anyone would do, and made the bed and swiffered the floors in case a truckload of hot dudes end up going apartment to apartment.
Josiah: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Silas: It's usually an oncoming train.
Kym: I was a young beautiful girl filled with rage back then.
Kym: Wait, I’m still filled with rage! And still hot!
Kym: Get me a gun!
Nathaniel: Hold on, let me overthink it.
catori(exactly sixteen years old): i was a young and beautiful girl filled with rage back then
catori: wait, i'm still filled with rage! and still hot!
catori: get me a gun!
kas: hold on, let me overthink it
Nami, aged 20: I was a young beautiful girl filled with rage back then.
Nami: Wait, I’m still filled with rage! And still hot.
Nami: Get me a gun!
Sanji: Can I kick him?
Nami: Not in public.
Zoro: You hate people?
Law: Yes.
Zoro: And I hate people.
Zoro: I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Law: No.
Luffy: Have a nice day!
Law: Don't tell me what to do.
Azami: Okay, so get this.
Azami: You make ten meals and you're not a cook.
Azami: You make twenty paintings and you're not an artist.
Azami: But you kill one person-
Usopp: Azami, it's 3 am. Please go to sleep.
Sanji: You want to hear something dirty?
Zoro: Yeah.
Sanji: The kitchen.
Zoro:
Sanji: Go clean the kitchen.
Sanji: You can trust me. Let's not forget who pulled you out of the ocean yesterday.
Zoro: Let's not forget who PUSHED ME IN!
Sanji: Anyways, as I was saying.
Law: Nitro cold brew with shots of espresso please.
Sanji, taking his order: Brave of you to commit to staying awake for three days, anything else today?
Jax: There's always a light at the end of the tunnel!
Law: It's usually an oncoming train.
Geneva, age 26: I was a young beautiful girl filled with rage back then.
Geneva: Wait, I’m still filled with rage! And still hot.
Geneva: Get me a gun!
Tabitha: Can I kill him?
Imogen: Not in public.