forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Lucas: You ruined my life!
Aspen: I wasn't even a part of it.
Lucas: Exactly!

Lucas: Sophie, I saved a puppy
Sophie: It's biting your arm

Valerie: So how's your harem doing
Sophie: Nothing really, I had to stop Matthew and Lucas from murdering each and Jax got lost again

Micheal: Well, I guess I… tolerate you now
Sophie: So we cool
Micheal: No, that just means I don't hate you

Me: Since this an otome-based novel I have to put you in your archetypes
Sophie, you're the MC
Sophie: With or without personality
Me: With
Sophie: and with logic
Me: Don't get ahead of yourself

Me: Charlie, you're the shy and gloomy dandere
Charlie: T-thanks…
Me: with the self-esteem of -32424242 and a hatred for living
Charlie:…

Me: Lucas, you're the spoiled tsundere
Lucas: I prefer the term dark prince
Me: Same difference

Me: Jax, you're the mysterious kuudere with daddy issues
Jax: I wanted to be the mature, caring one
Me: Ok, you'll get moments of that, too

Me: Matthew, You'll be the dreamy and popular boy next door
Matthew: Great, am I the main bo-
Me: And you're also supposed to an overprotective, paranoid, and jealous perfectionistic yandere who hides everything behind a smile
Matthew: ….

Me: Ava, you're the mentor of the group, keep everything in tiptop shape
Ava:(Why)
Me: I'll cut character development short if you don't

Me: Micheal you're Sagiri minus the incest
Micheal: Thank god
Me: and replaced with time loops and pain
Micheal: Goddammit…

Me: Bonita and Valerie, you two are the comic relief
Bonita: Which kind?
Me: You're the shipper and Valerie's the bromantic foil but as a woman
B&V: Can we get different roles
Me: No

Me: Now remember I'm not responsible for any ship wars or Sophie get replaced and vilified in fanfics, chou
Sophie: You didn't even tell me who I was going to end up with

Azrael, Allison, and Rachel: I'm not interested in being polite or heterosexual.

Allison: Don’t joke about murder. I was murdered once and it offends me.

Allison: Wow, Azrael is cute.
Damien: Don’t be jealous, Allison. You’re cute too.
Allison: I’m not being jealous, Damien, I’m being gay.

Allison: In honor of bi awareness week, be aware of me.
Allison: Pay attention to me.
Allison: Look at me. I'm amazing.

Otori carrying an unconscious Bonita
Alvis: Otori, This is the third time you tried to kill a random person, First it was Laito, then it was that blonde douche Sangwoo (notices Bonita) Wait who are you (turns to Otori) Otori, who the fuck is this

Alvis to Bonita: Let's introduce you to your potential murderers, I mean love interests

Yoonbum: YOU KILLED SANGWOO
Otori: and I spared you 60 something chapters of misery, You're welcome

Crispin: Would you bail me out of jail?
Kit: No.
Crispin: Well you didn't have to say it so fast.

Dallas: Everybody’s got a gay cousin.
Andor: I don’t have a gay cousin.
Dallas:
Andor: Oh wait, I’M the gay cousin!

Ara: Andor, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.

Gerard: *starts screaming*
Caleb: Whoa, what's that all about?
Tim: Sorry, I just remembered my entire life.

Caleb, at five am: Oh, good morning. didn't know you're an early bird.
Gerard: I'm not, I'm heading to bed now.

cisco: would you bail me out of jail?
nicky: no.
cisco: well you didn't have to say it so fast.

---

catori: everybody’s got a gay cousin.
caroline: i don’t have a gay cousin.
catori:
caroline: oh wait, i'm the gay cousin–
(they're girlfriends.))

---

nicky, about in tears: catori, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.

---

kas, at five am: oh, good morning. didn't know you're an early bird.
catori: i never went to bed

nicky, about in tears: catori, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.

(I would do that lol)

Ara: Andor, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.

Welp, I've been pronouncing 'hors d'oeuvres' wrong

Nich: Would you bail me out of jail?
Joan: No.
Nich: Well you didn't have to say it so fast.

Alice: Everybody’s got a gay cousin.
Henry: I don’t have a gay cousin.
Alice:
Henry: Oh wait, I'm the gay cousin–

Ozzie, nearly in tears: Sybil, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.

Henry, at five AM: Oh, good morning. I didn't know you're an early bird.
Victor: I never went to bed.

Richard, nearly in tears: Henry, please don’t pronounce "hors d'oeuvres" as "horse divorce" again.

Marie: Everybody’s got a gay cousin.
Richard: I don’t have a gay cousin.
Marie:
Richard: Oh wait, I'm the gay cousin–

Marie: Can you guys just behave for five minutes?
Henry: Our record is three.

Sora: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Azula:
Sora: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Azula: What the hell is wrong with you?

William: What have I told you about comparing Thomas to the devil?
Ash: That it's offensive to the devil?

Ash: I will help
William: Is that a promise?
Ash: It's more than a promise, it's a pinky promise
Ash, later: That promise launched a friendship so grand it takes 103 scrapbooks to capture.

William: You know, I think we're making some real progress.
Thomas: Where? In opposite world? We're never gonna finish all of this!
William: We could, if certain people would help!
Ash, standing behind stacked cardboard boxes: I'm sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.

Johnny: Thanks, Ash. You're the best.
Ash: No problem, anytime.
Johnny and Ash hug
Sora, watching from afar behind a bush with binoculars: Now. . . kiss.

Johnny: Tell the world we're bros.
Ash: We're bros.
Johnny: Why'd you just tell me?
Ash: Because you're my world, bro.
Johnny: Bro.

Aaron: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Aaron: Ha. Just kidding, I have killed a man.

Ash: How did you find me?
Aaron: oh, it was easy, really. I just listened to the sound of complete and utter betrayal and followed that.

Percy: Mother, if my stuffed bear is cold, can I put him in the toaster oven?
Emily: No, darling. That would be a mistake.
Percy: Mother?
Emily: Yes?
Percy: I've made a mistake.

Georgie: I have an army.
William: We have a Sora.

Aaron: We should probably exchange numbers.
Angie: Okay, I'm a 10, you're a 4.

James: Making my way downtown.
James: Walkin' fast.
Ash: Hey about that bank
James: Walking faster.

Percy: I know you want to keep me safe, but the only way to do that is to wrap me in bubble wrap and hide me in a cave.
Emily: Believe me, I thought about it.

Emily: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Ash: A horrible decision, really.

catori: tell the world we're bros.
jo: we're bros.
catori: why'd you just tell me?
jo: because you're my world, bro.
catori: bro.

---

catori: my criminal record? the only illegal thing i've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
catori: ha. just kidding, i have killed a man. my criminal record is extensive

---

kathy: i have a cult.
cisco, being held hostage: we have a catori.

---

nicky: we should probably exchange numbers.
jo: okay, i'm a 10, you're a 4.
((he says, like nicky isnt just as hot as his sister–. it's more on a vibe level))

Haeil: You're officially the first person in human history to start a fire with water.
Sebastian: Thanks!
Haeil: It wasn't a compliment.

Tony: And why are you late again? Were you sleeping?
Myung: There is no rest for the wicked.
Phillip: He was watching cat videos.

Nari, sitting outside a museum: You got tossed out too?
Khyung: Yeah, for yelling.
Nari: You yelled in a museum?! That is hardcore!
Khyung: Why'd you get tossed out?
Nari: Stole a pterodactyl. But it's not like I yelled.

Damian: Can you do me a favor?
Maestro: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene, and take the blame for it if you asked to.
Damian: Can you wash the dishes?
Maestro: No.

Lyra: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Lyra: Ha. Just kidding, I have killed a man. My criminal record is extensive.

The Employer: I have a mob.
Dima, being held hostage: We have a Lyra.

Theo: Elliot, do you ever think of yourself
Elliot: If it helps someone else

Jax as a child: Dad, Am I your least favorite
Alex: No son, you're my most useless

Mavis: People come and go but candy is always sweet

Sophie: Speaking of which, where that camera girl
Jaelynn coming through the window: Hello, I'm right here
Sophie: audial confusion
Jaelynn: So what did you call me for
Sophie: Where did you just come from
Jaelynn: Oh, you haven't seen one before, here in the human world, in the country of America, we call this a window
Sophie: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Bonita: When I get there I'm going make amends with Insato, then I'll finish that yaoi manga I was reading
Valerie: At least, she has her priorities straight

Bonita: Is it just me or does it sound like something died
Alvis: It's all in your head
Bonita: D-do you mean that
Alvis: No, I'm just telling you want to hear, you maggot
Bonita: It's one thing to lie but do you have to call me a maggot

Charlie: Sophie just trying to help, well she's failing miserably but she's trying to help

Kid!Matthew: Hey! we can't leave skipper
Kid!Charlie: I don't care about your cat, he's probably dead

Cleo: I have such fond memories of that hospital, It's a loving place of healing except for those who die

Emma: So anyways have you heard about the drama between Tati and Jeffre
Claire internally: For the last time Emma, I don't care about your make up drama, no one does
Claire: Yes

Lucien: Can I get my screentime, already

Camille: I guess I'm going to die

Duke: Not have I cheated death but I had an affair with life

Charlie: Where am I! It's so dark
Elijah: Of course it's dark it's a basement

Matthew: Virgos aren't the forgetting type, I talking about you Lucas

Elliot: Libras are all about balance so why is my life is all out of wack

Skylar: Gemini is an air sign, that explains why I'm so fly

Theo: Capricorns are the grounded, hard-working type, so someone explains how my sister is the way she is
Cleo: (playing phone games and chewing gum by a stack of unfinished homework)

Mel: Come dance you loser
Austin: I don't dance. I'm from that town in Footloose

Felix: Jarrod just took the wheels from my Heelys. I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings.
Felix: I have to walk around like a common wench and I’m livid

Jarrod: Hey, Austin, can I take you to my therapist next week?
Austin: …Why?
Jarrod: He thinks I’m making you and all your issues up

Felix: My shoes cause more than your rent, so yeah… Y E E Z Y Y E E Z Y Y E E Z Y

Mel: Just had dinner with the fam, might read and go to sleep, good night
Austin: Rest well, You have clown work to do tomorrow
Mel: Don't reply to me ever again

Austin: That teacher don't know shit, I'll beat his little ass
Mel: He's not that bad, he's just trying to help
Austin: Bitch keep talking and I'll shank your ass with a pencil

Austin: My name is Austin Dunn, I hope to know none of you and want to avoid conversation as much as possible

Em: I'm not sure why the recipe called for dynamite… but it looks edible [Cue the worst chocolate ever] Well here goes nothing [Eat chocolate] I'm not dead yet, This is the greatest creation I ever made

Felix to Jarrod: Wait I killed that motherfucker how is that possible

Felix, dming: You ain't shit in this room, you getting locked up, I guarantee you do 30
Jarrod: You act real fucking bold for a NPC, buddy
Felix: NPC stands for shut your stupid bitch baby ass up
Jarrod: Not a single one of those had a right letter.

Felix: I am willing to do anything….
Felix: But admitting to Jarrod that I'm cold after he told me to bring a jacket is not one of them.

Felix: If I were the last person on Earth, would you date me?
Jarrod: If you were the last person on Earth, then I wouldn't exist.
Felix:
Felix: Fuck, you're right.

Jarrod: Did you just fall??
Austin: No, I attacked the floor.
Jarrod: Backwards??
Austin, beginning to cry: I'm so talented.

Jarrod: Time to wake up!
Austin, sleepily: Five more minutes…
Jarrod: Aright, but only five minutes.
Jarrod: Time to wake up!
Felix, sleepily: Five more minutes…
Jarrod, sharpening knife: Perhaps you misheard me.

Austin: Gotta love knitting needles. I can make a scarf. I can make a hat. I can stab your eyes out. I can make mittens.
Mel: What was that middle part?
Austin: I can make a hat.

Jarrod: What the fuck were you doing in there
Felix: You know I have to be problematic at all cost

Felix, shouting at a mall Santa: Hey Santa! Merry Christmas you capitalist pig, OINK OINK

Jarrod, listening to the conversations that go on in his house: (Guys, seriously we need to cleanse our souls)

Felix: Ahh, wouldn't it be great if Santa actually gave is what we want this year
Austin: Yeah, what do you usually put down
Felix: Emotional stability, but also a sugar momma, and an illegal weapon of some kind.
Jarrod: Life without anxiety, a new pillow, and the snipped tie of a politician.
Em: Hmm, puppies dressed in people clothes. What about you, Austin
Austin: Well I have everything I could ever want right here
Em: Aww
Austin: …I was talking about my Hulu subscription

Felix: Hey I was left out too
Jarrod: Felix, how long has you been there
Felix: If I told you'd be sad
Austin: Well I have depression and crave death, try me
Mel: High five
Felix: Seconded
Jarrod: Thirded

Mel: Look I found a frog
Austin: Cool
Em: Don't break it's legs
Mel:… Thanks

Felix: You ruined my life
Jarrod: I wasn't even a part of it
Felix: Exactly

Felix, drunk and trying to flirt: You're such handsome strong men, Haveyouacceptedthefactthatyouwilldiesomeday

Felix to (Jarrod, Austin, Mel, and Jarrod): You are the four ugliest people I've had the misfortune to look at

Mel: Men who look up to their fathers too much are ridiculous
Mel: If you're an adult male that sees no flaws in your father then you are an insane person.

Em, at Austin's funeral: He wouldn't want us to be sad.
Mel, comforting her: He's in a better place now.
[meanwhile]
Austin, in hell holding a bat: Where's Satan? WHERE IS HE?!

Em: Some sick fuck unfollowed me for posting pictures of my dog i don’t miss you at all

Jarrod: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life.
Felix: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Mel: My will to live! I haven't seen this in 15 years!
Austin: Mental stability, my old friend!
Jarrod: Guys, could you lighten up a little?

Austin, monologuing: Every day ever since I was trapped here, I had to deal with this
Jarrod: He's a cat, I mean he has a self-important air around him and is pretty sly
Felix: No dummy, he's a dog, he has a bad bite and is pretty grouchy

Felix: Good morning, Jarrod
Jarrod: Good morning, Felix, How are you?
Felix: I hid a body the other day
Jarrod: Wait… What

Felix: Ya going to talk to me, champ
Jarrod with cat makeup on: Screw you guys!
Felix: Well someone's being a negative kitty
Jarrod: You held me down and drew dickbutt on my chest!

Felix: Ok, ok cool your jets
Austin: MY JETS ARE SO COLD THEY ARE COVERED IN ICE
Felix: Austin, you're scaring me…
Austin: I CAN"T STOP SHOUTING

Felix: Hey Darrell, remember that time I help you out when those 3 kids were picking on you
Jarrod, sarcastically: Yeah, I didn't stand a chance against the four of you

Jarrod in a selfie with Felix drowning in the background
Jarrod: Living my best life
Austin: Felix is drowning again
Jarrod: Dammit, This isn't about him

Mel: I think you should play the role of my father
Austin, really tired: I don't want to be your father
Mel: Perfect, you already know your line
(Austin: Mel please)

Em: Austin, I saved a puppy
Austin: It's biting your arm

Austin: Well, I guess I… tolerate you now
Mel: So we cool
Austin: No, that just means I don't hate you

Jarrod carrying an unconscious Austin and Em
Felix: Oh there you are Jarrod, I was wonderin-[sees Austin and Em] wait who the fuck is that. Jarrod who the fuck are they

Felix: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Felix: Dang, dang, diggety-dang-a-dang
Austin: What the hell is wrong with you

Felix: I will help
Jarrod: Is that a promise?
Felix: It's more than a promise, it's a pinky promise
Felix, later: That promise launched a friendship so grand it takes 103 scrapbooks to capture.

Jarrod: You know, I think we're making some real progress.
Austin: Where? In opposite world? We're never gonna finish all of this
Jarrod: We could, if certain people would help!
Felix, standing behind stacked cardboard boxes: I'm sorry, are you addressing me? Because your authority is not recognized in Fort Kickass.

Felix: Thanks, Jarrod. You're the best.
Jarrod: No problem, anytime.
[Jarrod and Felix hug]
Em, watching from afar behind a bush with binoculars: Now. . . kiss.

Felix: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Felix: Ha. Just kidding, I have killed many people.

Em: Jarrod, if my stuffed bear is cold, can I put him in the toaster oven?
Jarrod: No, that would be a mistake.
Em: Jarrod?
Jarrod: Yes?
Em: I've made a mistake.

Joseph: I have an army.
Austin: We have Felix.

Felix: We should probably exchange numbers.
Jarrod: Okay, I'm a 10, you're a 4.

Austin: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Austin @ himself: A horrible decision, really.

Jarrod: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Felix: A horrible decision, really.

Jarrod: You're officially the first person in history to start a fire with water.
Felix: Thanks!
Jarrod: It wasn't a compliment.

Mel: And why are you late again? Were you sleeping?
Austin: There is no rest for the wicked.
Em: We were watching cat videos! :)

Felix, sitting outside a museum: You got tossed out too?
Austin: Yeah, for yelling.
Felix: You yelled in a museum?! That is hardcore!
Austin: Why'd you get tossed out?
Felix: Stole a pterodactyl. But it's not like I yelled.

Austin: Jarrod, do you ever think of yourself
Jarrod: If it helps someone else

Felix: Jarrod, Am I your least favorite
Jarrod: No. You're my most useless

Austin: People come and go but candy is always sweet

Mel: Speaking of which, where's that short guy
Felix coming through the window: Call me short again and they'll never find your body
Mel: audial confusion
Felix: So what did you call me for
Mel: Where did you just come from
Felix: Oh, you haven't seen one before, here in the human world, in the country of America, we call this a window
Mel: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!

Mel: Austin's just trying to help, he's failing miserably but he's trying

Felix: I have such fond memories of that hospital, It's a loving place of healing except for those who die

Paige: So anyways have you heard about the drama between Sarah and Jeffery?
Mel internally: For the last time Paige, I don't care about your drama, no one does
Mel: Yes

Austin: I guess I'm going to die

Felix: I have not cheated death but I had an affair with life

Jarrod: Where am I? It's so dark
Felix: Of course it's dark it's a basement

Karma: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!
Karma: Ha. Just kidding, I have killed a man. My criminal record is extensive

Quill, sitting outside a museum: You got tossed out too?
Dally: Yeah, for yelling.
Quill: You yelled in a museum? That’s hardcore!
Dally: Well, why’d you get tossed out?
Quill: Stole a pterodactyl. But it's not like I yelled.

Anthony: And why are you guys late? Were you sleeping?
Jack: There is no rest for the wicked.
Quill: We were watching cat videos! :)

Cyrus: I think you should play the role of my father.
Anthony, really tired: I don't want to be your father.
Cyrus: Perfect, you already know your lines

Erica: Theo just took the wheels from my Heelys. I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings.
Erica: I have to walk around like a common wench and I’m livid.

Christopher: Men who look up to their fathers too much are ridiculous
Christopher: If you're an adult male that sees no flaws in your father then you are insane.

Kristi: Hey Morgan, remember that time I helped you out when those 3 kids were picking on you?
Morgan, sarcastically: Yeah, I didn't stand a chance against the four of you.

Samuel: So I have made the decision to trust you.
Nich: A horrible decision, really.

Nich, sitting outside a museum: You got tossed out too?
Therese: Yeah, for yelling.
Nich: You yelled in a museum?! Huh. Pretty rude.
Therese: Why'd you get tossed out?
Nich: Stole a pterodactyl. But it's not like I yelled.

Oleander: I have not cheated death, but I had an affair with life!

Estella: Peregrine just took the wheels from my Heelys. I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings.
Estella: I have to walk around like a common wench and I’m livid.

Peregrine: I'm not very religious, but I know for sure that God isn't a woman.
Peregrine: Because a woman would be smart enough to not create men.

Austin: I'm not very religious, but I know for sure that God isn't a woman.
Austin: Because a woman would be smart enough to not create men.
(As a man, this quote is a mood)

Kate: I'm not very religious, but I know for sure that God isn't a woman.
Kate: Because a woman would be smart enough to not create men.

Vozreal: I'm not very religious, but I know for sure that God isn't a woman.
Vozreal Because a woman would be smart enough to not create men.
(Ironically, god is agender in my world)

Allison: Rachel just took the wheels from my Heelys. I feel like Lucifer stripped of his wings.
Allison: I have to walk around like a common wench and I’m livid.\

Vozreal: I have not cheated death, but I had an affair with life!

Asher: And why are you guys late? Were you sleeping?
Huxley: No rest for the wicked.
Fern: We were watching cat videos!

Nolte: Men who look up to their fathers too much are ridiculous
Nolte: If you're an adult male that sees no flaws in your father then you are insane.