forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

Azami: You don't think I can fight because I'm a girl.
Nami: I don't think you can fight because you're wearing a wedding dress. For what it's worth, I don't think Usopp could fight in that dress either.
Usopp: Perhaps not, but I would make a radiant bride.

Luffy: The risk we took was calculated.
Azami: But holy shit are we bad at math.

Jax: What the hell is going on??
Bepo: Oh, great, you heard my cry for help!
Jax: You mean your girly scream?
Bepo: I MEAN MY CRY FOR HELP

Erik: The risk we took was calculated.
Douglas: But holy shit are we bad at math.

Dallas: Ara, what does this say?
Ara: No idea.
Dallas: But it's your writing!

Kit: The risk we took was calculated.
Crispin: But holy shit are we bad at math.

Crispin: What the hell is going on??
Gerard: Oh, great, you heard my cry for help!
Crispin: You mean your girly scream?
Gerard: I MEAN MY CRY FOR HELP

Ara: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.
Holly: You’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous motherfucker

Cashier: And would you like your receipt?
Dallas, thinking: If someone is being murdered right now it would be my alibi, but if someone gets murdered in the store they could pin it on me…
Cashier: Sir?
Dallas: I want to speak to a lawyer

Marco and Asia: getting arrested at civil rights protest
Cop: fake IDs, fake credit card. You got anything that's real?
Marco: My tits
Asia: My ass

Samuel: Nich, what does this say?
Nich: No idea.
Samuel: But it's your writing!

Julianna: Cursing is for those who have a limited vocabulary.
Margot: You’re an audacious, ideologically unsound, captious, presumptuous bitch

Alarms: Go off
Eleanor, who's never done anything illegal in her life: Oh no, they've found me-

Isaac: at the airport
TSA: can you tell me your birthday?
Isaac: July 1st
TSA: July 1st?
Isaac: well I thought so but know I’ve lost all confidence in that answer

TSA: Can you tell me your birthday?
Victor: November 17th.
TSA: November 17th?
Victor: Well I thought so but now I’ve lost all confidence in that answer-

Holly: I was a lifeguard once. We only had one death in the three months I was there.
Holly: Three months. One death. That's pretty good.
Holly: It was a heart attack. It wasn't our fault. The guy died of a heart attack at the top of a waterslide.
Dallas and Andor: (giggling)
Holly: And that is not funny.
Holly: That's not funny even a little bit.
Holly: The discussion on how to get him down appropriately though….

Holly: I was a lifeguard once. We only had one death in the three months I was there.
Holly: Three months. One death. That's pretty good.
Holly: It was a heart attack. It wasn't our fault. The guy died of a heart attack at the top of a waterslide.
Dallas and Andor: (giggling)
Holly: And that is not funny.
Holly: That's not funny even a little bit.
Holly: The discussion on how to get him down appropriately though….

OMG I just lost it

TSA: Can you tell me your birthday?
Quill: August 27th.
TSA: August 27th?
Quill: Well I thought so but now I’ve lost all confidence in that answer-

Cyrus: If you had to choose between Dally and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you choose?
Anthony: Depends. How much money are we talking about?
Dally: Anthony?????
Cyrus: Like, ten bucks.
Anthony: Sold.
Dally: ANTHONY?!!!!???

Cashier: And would you like your receipt?
Quill, thinking: If someone is being murdered right now it would be my alibi, but if someone gets murdered in the store they could pin it on me…
Cashier: Miss..?
Quill: I want to speak to a lawyer

Cyrus: What the hell is going on??
Dally: Oh, great, you heard my cry for help!
Cyrus: You mean your little girl scream?
Dally: I MEAN MY CRY FOR HELP

Quill: The risk we took was calculated.
Quill: But holy shit, are we bad at math.

Jack: Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself.
Quill: …That was weirdly motivating.

Basil: Aren't birds just air fish?
Minwoo: It's 3 am.

Phillip: Hey! Wanna see a trick?
Myung: Last time you showed me a trick, it took two weeks to grow my eyebrows back.

Jungwoo: Have you ever read something so explicit that you felt like you need to go to the holy church and stay there for a year?
Byungho: Show it to me.

Kimmie: I get really offended when people tell me I'm going to hell for being gay, because I feel like they're overlooking all the other perfectly valid reasons I'm going to hell.

Hyungwon: I love my babies.
Sebastian: blowing up a kitchen
Kimin, Haeil, and Minwoo: fighting loudly over a game
Matthew: teasing Sebastian for blowing up the kitchen
Maeng: trying to summon a demon
Basil: lost in a Chanel store
Adrian: peacefully napping
Seokju: ignoring everyone
Jack: also ignoring everyone
Jaesung: trying to calm everyone down
Chansung: crying from the stress
Hyungwon: Oh yeah, I love my babies so much.

Holly: I was a lifeguard once. We only had one death in the three months I was there.
Holly: Three months. One death. That's pretty good.
Holly: It was a heart attack. It wasn't our fault. The guy died of a heart attack at the top of a waterslide.
Dallas and Andor: (giggling)
Holly: And that is not funny.
Holly: That's not funny even a little bit.
Holly: The discussion on how to get him down appropriately though….

OMG I just lost it

I feel like I should share the source because honestly the rest of this bit was equally as hilarious

Marco: Your strongest versus our strongest
Jolene: How about your idiot versus our idiot
Marco: Deal! Alec, get in there
Alec: Hey! Fuck you man
Jolene: Asia?
Asia: Eyyyy alright lets get this party started

Alex, with crazy eyes: In the 1800s if you died in winter they'd store you in a communal vault until you could be buried in spring! :)))
Danny, backing away: Why are you looking at me like that?

Quill: In the 1800’s, if you died in winter they'd store you in a communal vault until you could be buried in spring! :)))
Karma, backing away: Why are you looking at me like that

Jackson: I was a lifeguard once. We only had one death in the three months I was there.
Jackson: Three months. One death. That's pretty good.
Jackson: It was a heart attack. It wasn't our fault. The guy died of a heart attack at the top of a water slide.
Geneva: Laughs
Jackson: And that is not funny.
Jackson: That's not funny even a little bit.
Jackson: The discussion on how to get him down appropriately though….

Victor: In the 1800’s, if you died in winter they'd store you in a communal vault until you could be buried in spring!!
Geneva, backing away: Why are you looking at me like that-

Bee: Have you been yelled at by Kate yet?
Peter: Pfft. I’m not scared of her.
Morgan: So that’s a no

Henry: Is the Kool-Aid Man the jar or the liquid?
Jackson: He’s the liquid
Geneva: It’s obviously the jar…
Victor: Pardon me, but who is the Kool-Aid Man?

Esther: Are you laughing at a video of Oleander falling?
Maia: No
Maia: I’m laughing at the comments

Robin: Tall people, please know that I have small legs. I can’t keep up with you
Oberon: Just grab a pair of roller skates and hold onto my sleeve, we don't have all day

In a groupchat
Victor: Adding “lmao” does not hide your pain
Jackson: Yeah it does lmao

Oberon: Do you have any shaving cream?
Robin: Nah, I don’t like the way it tastes
Oberon: …You eat shaving cream?
Robin: No, why would I eat it if I don’t like the taste?

Victor: I’m not too nice!
Henry: Vic, you apologized–
Victor: I have manners!
Alice: –to the waiter who spilled soup on your lap…

Beck: My talents are looking 17 and saying thank you to the bus driver
Beck: I can also talk for hours about the meaning of life I guess.

Oberon, hoping for a normal day: Good morning.
Robin, dangling upside down from the balcony: I’m gonna try to become left handed!!

Bee: You’re giving me a sticker?
Luci: It’s not just any sticker. It’s a sticker of a cat that says “me-wow”.
Bee: I’m not a child
Luci: Fine, I’ll take it back then
Bee: Back off! I earned this sticker

Jackson: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Jackson: Punches a wall
Jackson: Take me to the hospital

Dima: People ask me how I handle the rest of my friends so easily
Dima: The truth is I don’t. I have no control over them. I walked into the house today and Lyra shot me in the neck with a Nerf Gun

At a New Years party
Oscar, to the gang: I would like to offer a toast
Oscar, raising his glass: I cannot believe we have already gone through another 12 months of absolute fuckery
Oscar: Cheers!

Alec: I must attend to my evening affairs
Asia: you mean drinking whiskey and eating gummy bears until you pass out in the bathtub?
Marco: or rereading little women and crying in the shower because they didn’t deserve it?
Amara: or running around reciting Tennyson without pants and your tie wrapped around you head?
Alec: all three, in that order

Anthony: I must attend to my evening affairs.
Cyrus: You mean drinking whiskey and eating gummy bears until you pass out in the bathtub?
Jack: Or rereading Little Women and crying in the shower because they didn’t deserve it?
Quill: Or running around reciting Tennyson without pants and your tie wrapped around you head?
Anthony: All three, in that order

Perry: Have you been yelled at by Quill yet?
Elias: Pfft. I’m not scared of her.
Perry: So that’s a no

Cyrus: “Back on my bullshit”? Ha! I never got off of it!

Quill: You all worry too much about having clear skin and not enough about having a clear head

Perry: Not to be a slut but it’d be awesome if you could use my pronouns

Cyrus: No pain, no gain!
Jack: But I’m in constant pain and I’ve lost everything

Emmett, to pretty much everyone: Hey, uh, could you please confirm that you still like me and have not decided to randomly hate me? That’d be great

catori: my first girlfriend was kidnapped by a power hungry witch intent on sacrificing her and our classmates to bring some demon to life
nicky, over tired and used to it at this point: that's rough buddy

Quill: I’ve been claimed by a daemon to be a pawn in some interdimensional game of chess and I don’t even know whose side I’m on
Anthony, exhausted and used to everything at this point: That’s rough kid

Bee: You’re giving me a sticker?
Luci: It’s not just any sticker. It’s a sticker of a cat that says “me-wow”.
Bee: I’m not a child
Luci: Fine, I’ll take it back then
Bee: Back off! I earned this sticker

This is unironically me and the flute section

Oscar: I must attend to my evening affairs.
Beatrice: You mean drinking wine and eating gummy bears until you pass out on a chaise?
Nathaniel: Or rereading Stone's Throw and crying in the shower because they didn’t deserve it?
Marian: Or shouting your own poetry from your balcony?
Oscar: All three, in that order

Oleander: “Back on my bullshit”? Ha! I never got off of it!

Beck: You all worry too much about having clear skin and not enough about having a clear head

Ilona, to their employer: Not to be a slut but it’d be awesome if you could use my pronouns

Casey: No pain, no gain!
Beck: But I’m in constant pain and I’ve lost everything

Beck, to pretty much everyone: Hey, uh, could you please confirm that you still like me and have not decided to randomly hate me? That’d be great