Holly: Brian and I are getting our older brother a DNA test for his birthday this year.
Brian: Yeah, he's really into genealogy and that sort of thing.
Holly: Plus it's a free DNA test for us.
Ara: Andor, how would you pronounce this word?
Ara: *Shows him a piece of paper that says "au revoir."*
Andor: Australia revoir.
Andor: I made tea
Ara: I don't want tea
Andor: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea
Ara: Then why are you telling me?
Andor: It's a conversation starter
Ara: That's a lousy conversation starter
Andor: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate
Holly: Consider the following: seatbelts. Except they throw you out of your seat, and they're called yeetbelts.
Brian: Remind me never to get in your car again.
Crispin: Who the fuck
Frank: Language
Crispin: Whom the fuck
Frank: No
Dallas: What if mayonnaise came in cans
Andor: That would suck because you can't microwave metal…
Ara: Good morning to everyone except these two people
Adelia: Is there a reason the bathtub is on fire?
Leo: Oh, we're just doing a science experiment.
Adelia: What kind of experiment?
Crispin: We're going to see what happens when we light 5,000 dynamite sticks at the same time.
Adelia: Hmm. Fair enough. Just make sure you follow the scientific method.
Andor: Hello, Ara? Can you can you come over here? My hands are stuck in a Pringles tube.
Andor: Both hands, yes.
Andor: Look, it doesn't matter how I dialed the number, just come over and help!
Dallas: I was wondering if different shampoos taste different.
Andor: They do.
Dallas:
Dallas: Why did you say that with so much certainty?
Holly: Jumping out of the window is just short-term skydiving
Dallas: Wow, I need a drink.
Dallas: Pours apple juice into a shot glass
Alexander: Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free.
Matthew: I think you're a terrible, terrible excuse for a human being. You're selfish and two-faced, and you'd drive this kingdom into the ground if you were king. Not to mention, you were a terrible parent to Leo.
Alexander: But-
Matthew: Wait, I still have 22 seconds and I'm not done.
Holly: Pros of wearing black: Looks badass.
Holly: Cons of wearing black: Everyone can tell when I've eaten powdered donuts, or snorted cocaine.
Caleb: I just saw Gerard cry for five minutes and then his alarm went off and he just? Stopped crying? And went right back to work.
Gerard, off in the distance: It's called time management.
Taven: Guys! What do you want for breakfast? Peanut butter toast or raw toast?
Keyla: Raw toast.
Farli: Do you mean fucking bread?