Viere: In light of what you did today, you can hug me for 4-5 seconds.
Aid: FOURTY FIVE SECONDS?!
Viere: NO! FOUR TO FIVE SECONDS!
Viere: How far do your scales go?
Kelpora: opens her mouth
Monah: Oh, she's got them everywhere, there's some on her hands, all around her wrists, some splotches on her chest and sides, symmetrical ones on her hips–
Viere: …
Kelpora: …
Monah: …
Ronald, drunk at 2 AM: Snakes have this thing called a hemipenis, it means they have two dicks.
Madhead, equally drunk: Yuan-Ti's have two dicks.
Madhead: One in their pants, one in their personality.
Belsan: stares up at the stars
Rush: What are you doing?
Belsan: Naming the stars after people I love.
Rush: Do I get a star?
Belsan: You get the sun.
Nova: Monah, how do I ask someone out?
Monah: Well, first, you–
Kelli: No, don't ask her. She asked me out in the washroom of an inn.
Nova: …
Nova: And you said yes?!
Bruiser: I turned out perfectly fine!
Aid: Just this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.
Bruiser: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!
Viere: I'm getting a call from Aid.
Kelpora: I'll act natural.
Viere: You're not going to be on the call.
Viere, answering the call: Hi Mom.
Kelpora, shouting right next to Viere: What delicious water I'm drinking!
Viere: I gave Kelpora a 'Get Better Soon' card.
Aid: I didn't know she was sick.
Viere: She isn't.
Viere: I just thought she could do better.
Ronald: I like my women how I like my coffee.
Ronald: Cold and mysterious.
Nova: That sounds like terrible coffee.
Nova: Love is cheap, but this booze is cheaper.
Howl, concerned and looking at the bottle: Uh, this is just strawberry milk.