forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

page: i wrote you a song
darcy: really?
page: yep! and i'll give you a clue, it's named after a pride and prejudice character
darcy: so, darcy?
page: no… that would have been better
–
callie: look, i don't like to throw around the word "butthead" often. if you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact. but i can say without hesitation that rex is being a real dick
–
jesse: do i need to be liked? absolutely not. i like to be liked. i enjoy being liked. i have to be liked. but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.
–
basil: swear words are banned in this house. if you say one, you'll be grounded.
cleo: heck
basil: you're on thin fucking ice, kid

Max: I wrote you a song
Alice: Really?
Max: Yep! And I'll give you a clue, it's named after a Lewis Carroll character
Alice: So, Alice?
Max: No…that would have been better-

Nell: Look, I don't like to throw around the word "butthead" often. If you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Samuel is being a real dick

Oberon: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be successful.

Ayla: Swear words are banned in this house. If you say one, you'll be grounded.
Lysander: Heck
Carrie: You're on thin fucking ice, kid.

Evangeline: I wrote you a song
Silver: Really?
Evangeline: Yep! And I'll give you a clue, it's named after a precious metal
Silver: So, Silver?
Evangeline: No…that would have been better-

Demitri: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to cause problems.

Vlad: Swear words are banned in this house. If you say one, you'll be grounded.
Nessa: Heck
Carpathia: You're on thin fucking ice, kid.

Eslanda: You may not know this, Inerys, but I am a flawed person-
Inerys: I do know that.
__
Pandora: reading the exorcist
Pandora: laughs
__
Ziva: I know you can be "underwhelmed" and that you can be "overwhelmed" but…
Ziva: Can you ever just be "whelmed"?
Elias: …
Reia: I think you can in Bulgaria!
__
Alexander: Perhaps you could talk to the royal healer and she could give you something to ease your…
Morrigan: I am not mad, Alexander. I've just been in a very bad mood for 200 years.
__
Elias: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I too weak or too strong.
Ziva: You’re weak.
Reia: You’re strong.
Kalisha: You’re stupid.
__
Ziva: You sent a letter to Reia and not me?
Kalisha: Well, when you have a crazy theory you don’t call the voice of reason.
__
Reia: I don’t cry about anything.
Elias: You were literally just crying about dragons.
Reia, crying: They can’t blow out their birthday candles!
__
Cassius: I think I’m in love with Kenna.
Alexander: Congratulations. You’re officially the last one to know.

Oleander: You may not know this, Esther, but I am a flawed person-
Esther: I do know that.

Juniper: Perhaps you could talk to the royal healer and she could give you something to ease your…
Titania: I am not mad, Juniper. I've just been in a very bad mood for 200 years.

page: i think i’m in love with darcy
jesse: congratulations. you’re officially the last one to know
–
silas: (eating a cinnamon roll)
juniper: cannibalism.

Crystal: Kat, what are you doing here? Weren't you making spaghetti tacos with Zenith?
Katsumi: Well, I was.
Crystal: … was?
Katsumi: Well, I- it was just getting hot downstairs because of the fire.
Crystal: THE WHAT?!
(Downstairs, the kitchen is completely on fire)
Zenith, looking around: Oh, this isn't good.
________________________
Katsumi: Please shut up.
Zenith: Well, since you asked nicely, no.
________________________
Zenith: Ok, what's the first rule on this team?
John: Don't wake up Jayden before twelve if you want to live.
Zenith: Good, rule number two?
John: If Crystal says no, go to Katsumi.
Crystal: WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING HIM?!

Yama: Aqua, are you pondering what I'm pondering?
Aqua: Uh… I think so, Yama, but three men in a tub? Ooh, that's unsanitary!

Eleanor: Eating a cinnamon roll
Christopher, barely glancing up from his book: Cannibalism.

Jax: Eating a cinnamon roll
Law: Cannibalism.

Law: Only intellectuals can say these four words quickly: “eye yam stew pig”
Jax: Oh come on, they’re not gonna fall for-
Luffy and Azami in unison: I AM STUPID!

Peregrine: Teigi, you have beautiful eyes.
Teigi: You too.
Perona: …
Perona: Did I miss something?
Peregrine: I’m lesbian, I just like his eyes.
Perona: You’re straight for his eyes.
Peregrine: Exactly…wait, no.

Oscar: Marian, you have beautiful eyes.
Marian: You too!
Nathaniel: …
Nathaniel: Did I miss something?
Oscar: I’m gay, I just like her eyes.
Nathaniel: You’re straight for my wife's eyes?
Oscar: Exactly…wait, no.

Alec: Eating a cinnamon roll
Marco: Cannibalism

mihael: i like your top
alex, wearing a very bright hawaiian shirt because he was forced but also kinda liked it: thanks-
lorelei: thanks dude i like you too

Balaza: Hold for a sec…these shells have been devoured.
Rheta: Ohhh.
Rheta, passing it down the line: The shells have been devoured!
Ahmik to Orien: The bells have been deflowered.
Orien to Eligius: The veils are in my power…?
Eligius to Miksa, confused: The veils are covered in flour?
Miksa: Nods and thumbs up Balaza

(> ((the punchline is that lorelei is a bottom))

(wheeze))

Cyrus: I wrote you a song
Aria: Really?
Cyrus: Yep! And I'll give you a clue, it's named after a type of song!
Aria: So, Aria?
Cyrus: No…that would have been better-

Quill: Hey Dally, what do you want to drink?
Dally: I only drink the blood of my enemies.
Quill:
Dally: And the occasional strawberry milkshake

Quill: Listen, I have about fourteen contacts in my phone and if you say that again I’ll have about thirteen

Love: Gender is a game and I have the cheat codes

Quill, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh…seven espresso shots
Cyrus, behind her: Jesus Christ, Quill, just do cocaine

Azazel: If you were to die, what would be your last words?
The Sandman: Finally
Azazel: No-

Quill: Cyrus, can I go to the movies tonight?
Cyrus: I’m not your mom, kid, do whatever the hell you want.
Quill:
Quill: Okay s-
Cyrus: Be home by eleven, don’t talk to strangers and remember to look both ways before crossing the road
Quill:
Cyrus: Here, ten bucks for popcorn

Cyrus, on the phone with someone: Is it okay if I bring my weird roommate?
Jack: Would you please stop calling me that

Amara: Hey Alec, I like your top
Alec(In a caramel colored sweater): Thanks I lik-
Marco: Aw, that's so sweet Amara, I like you too

Lapis: I wrote you a song
Basil: Really?
Lapis: Yep! And I'll give you a clue, it's named after an herb!
Basil: So basil?
Lapis: No…that would have been better-

Oberon: Hey Titania, what do you want to drink?
Titania: I only drink the blood of my enemies.
Oberon:
Titania: And the occasional strawberry milkshake

Frankie, to Barry: Listen, I have about fourteen contacts in my phone and if you say that again I’ll have about thirteen

Ilona: Gender is a game and I have the cheat codes

Harper, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh…seven espresso shots
Beck, behind her: Jesus Christ, Carys, just do cocaine

Harper: If you were to die, what would be your last words?
Beck: Finally
Harper: No-

Jackson, on the phone with someone: Is it okay if I bring my weird roommate?
Geneva: Would you please stop calling me that?

lorelei: mihael, there's three ways to do things. the right way, the wrong way, and the hallowe way
mihael: isn't that just the wrong way
lorelei: yeah but it's a bit faster and usually involves explosives

Andor: Dallas seems like he's maybe not the sharpest bulb.
Ara: The sharpest….? You know what? Never mind.

Ara, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh…seven espresso shots
Holly, behind him: Jesus Christ, Ara, just do cocaine

Jackie, to Holly: Listen, I have about fourteen contacts in my phone and if you say that again I’ll have about thirteen

Kit: Please shut up.
Crispin: Well, since you asked nicely, no.

Milo: You may not know this, Keyla, but I am a flawed person-
Keyla: I do know that.

Dallas: You sure you’re sober enough to drive?
Andor: Yeah, I didn’t drink anything
Dallas: Okay, go get the car
Ara: Running after Beck
Dallas: It’s okay, he’s sober!
Ara: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

Georgina: And what do we say when someone feels wronged by our actions?
Samantha, deadpan: Hoes mad
Georgina: Oh my god. What has Bryce been teaching you?

Samantha: This gives me good ptsd
Georgina: …You mean nostalgia?

Yaya: Has anyone ever told you they loved you?
Samantha: Does Georgina count?
Yaya: No
Samantha: Then no
Yaya: This poor child–

Bryce: God, country and pop music is so awful
Bryce: Cause I–
Georgina and Samantha: DUG MY KEY INTO THE SIDE OF HIS PRETTY LITTLE SOUPED UP FOUR WHEEL DRIVE

Bryce: Your existence is confusing
Samantha: How so?
Bryce: Your presence is annoying, but the thought of anything bad happening to you upsets me
Samantha, your a fictional Video Game character coming to a fictional version of the real world in the style of a cheesy sitcom. How have you not realizes your existence is confusing!

Bryce, hearing thumping: What are you doing?
Georgina: Helping Samantha find her chocolate Ice cream I ate two hours ago

Acacia, chugging neat tequila from the bottle: Tradition is peer pressure from dead people
Georgina: Stop chugging I’m supposed to babysit you!

Samantha: There is no I in team
Samantha: But there is one in pizza
Bryce: So you’re not going to share with the group?
Samantha: No
Legend says she felt like shit about an hour after eating all that pizza

Georgina: Okay, now name a yellow fruit
Samantha: An orange
Samantha: …
Samantha: Wait–
Georgina: Even I fucking know that isn't right

Employer: Wait, so you’re Greek?
Georgina: Yes
Employer: But you don’t act Greek…
Georgina, sarcastically: Oh, sorry, I forgot to bring my favorite clomps and stash of weed with me, eh!

Barry: Claudio seems like he's maybe not the sharpest bulb.
Frankie: The sharpest….? You know what? Never mind.

Samuel: Please shut up.
Nich: Well, since you asked nicely, no.

Oleander: You may not know this, Lavinia, but I am a flawed person-
Lavinia: I do know that. We all know that.

Portal Piece AU:

Cavendish: Hello! This is the part where I kill you
HaKUBA: Well, this is the part where he kills us.

[Incorrect quotes Chan edition]
_
Chan: [laughing hysterically while chasing Elyas with a fake lizard]
Elyas, spotting Ren: REN, PLEASE HELP ME
Zephyr: You're not gonna do anything?
Ren: Not yet, let Chan have a little fun, he'll change his target soon
Chan: [stops chasing Elyas]
Chan: [notices Lucas and runs after him]
Lucas: …What are you- OH MY GOSH
Zephyr: Now?
Ren: Calm down, he probably didn't have this much fun when he was younger
-
[Chan and Lucas arguing]
Lucas, suddenly: Do you wanna fuck?
Chan, slightly confused: …Yes?
Lucas: Then fuck yourself
-
Ren: Sit up straight
Chan: I sit as gay as I want
-
Chan: What's in that bag?
Elyas: I bought shrimps for Ren. She's cooking dinner tonight!
Chan: But she doesn't eat crusty Asians
Elyas: She doesn't eat what???
Chan: Crusty Asians
Ren, walking past them: It's crustaceans
Elyas and Chan, at the same time: Oh
-
Ren: Listen, I need you to calm down. Take deep breaths
Chan, banging his fists on the table: But how can it be birthday cake flavored if a birthday cake can be any flavor?
-
Chan: I got grounded for a whole week just because I came home late
Lucas: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again
-
Ren: I think you're still suffering from the effects of the party last night
Chan: But I only drank Redbull!
Ren: How many?
Chan: … Eighteen
-
Ren: Chan, can I speak to you for a moment? In private
Chan: Oooooh, someone's in trouble
Chan: It's me. I don't know why I did that
-
Chan: I'm a firm believer in 'if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly'
-
Chan, texting: I just saw a theif
Ren: Don't you mean thief?
Chan: Theif
Ren: I before E except after C
Chan: Thceif
Ren: No

Nathaniel: Sit up straight.
Oscar: Oh please. I'll sit as gay as I want.

Oleander: I got grounded for a whole year just because I came home late.
Oberon: Well, you deserved it. I mean, getting everyone's hopes up like that and then showing up again.

Marisol: I think you're still suffering from the effects of the party last night.
Casey: But I only drank Redbull!
Marisol: How many?
Casey: … Eighteen

Jackson: I'm a firm believer in 'if you're going to fail, you might as well fail spectacularly'

Amara: Sit up straight
Alec: I can sit as gay as I please

Marco: Alec, would you come over here a minute?
Alec: Oooh, someone’s in trouble
Alec: …it’s me, I don’t know why I said that

Marco and Alec arguing
Marco: Do you wanna fuck?
Alec: …yes?
Marco: Then go fuck yourself.

Isaac: You’re Russian?
Jolene: Yes, that’s where I was born.
Isaac: You don’t act Russian.
Jolene: Oh, sorry. Let me drink some vodka and institute Communism.

Ryan: I think you're still suffering from the effects of the party last night.
Alex: But I only drank Redbull!
Ryan: How many?
Alex: … Eighteen
this works the other way around too and I'm crying

Emma: i like your top
Ryan, wearing a very bright hawaiian shirt because he was forced but also kinda liked it: thanks-
Alex: thanks dude i like you too

Anybody: You’re a pirate?
Peregrine: Yes.
Anybody: You don’t act like a pirate.
Peregrine: Oh, sorry. Let me put on an eyepatch and throw innocent people to the Sea Kings.
This works for almost all of my characters

Karma, texting: What are you doing?
Jack: Laying in bed
Karma: Really? Nothing else?
Jack: Well, I’m eating cereal
Karma: What would you do if I were laying there with you ;)
Jack: Eat my cereal
Karma: I mean if the cereal wasn’t there
Jack: Get out of bed and get some cereal

Dally: You’re Italian?
Anthony: Yes, that’s where I was born.
Dally: You don’t act Italian.
Anthony: Oh, sorry. Let me eat some pasta and join the mafia.

[Jack and Karma arguing]
Jack, suddenly: Do you wanna fuck?
Karma, slightly confused: …Yes?
Jack: Then go fuck yourself