forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started by @HighPockets group
tune

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@GameMaster group

(If you ever feel bad, my sister is three years older than me and she never knew to not put forks into the microwave until I stopped her right before she did)

@croccin-champagne

((my little sister, who's been told countless times that metal and tinfoil don't go in the microwave, still gets caught trying to put silverware and tinfoil in. also she burns chocolate in our microwave to melt it and if you've never smelled burnt chocolate…count yourself lucky))

@Pickles group

(show her how to do a double boiler or tell her to take it out every ten seconds and stir it)
(Also reminder that cream cheese wrappers can't go in the microwave)

@kiley_arrants Premium Supporter

Sorin: I like your top.
Nakoa, wearing a britgtly colored shirt for the first time in years: Than-
Kenna: Aw, thanks dude, I like you to.
_
Gaia, at a coffee shop: Can I get a venti caramel macchiato with, uh, seven shots of esprsso.
Julian, behind her: Jesus christ, Gaia, just do cocaine.
_
Gaia: You sure you're sober enough to drive?
Julian: Yeah, I didn't drink anything.
Gaia: Okay, go get the car.
Eira: [Running after Julian]
Gaia: It's okay, he's sober!
Eira: HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE
_
Will: I like your eyes.
Acyn: Thanks, you to.
Keres: ….
Keres: Did I miss something?
Will: I'm straight, I just like his eyes.
Keres: You're gay for his eyes.
Will: Exactly!
Will: Wait, no-
_
Gaia, walking out in a new outfit: How do I look?
Kenna: That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen.
Gaia: Excuse you?!
Kenna: No, not you, the thing beside you.
Eira: Fuck you.
_
Nakoa: You sure know a lot about the law.
Kenna: I do a lot of borderline illegal shit.
_
Will: Oh, tiddlywinks.
Kenna: JUST SAY FUCK
_
Kenna: You may not know this, Dimitri, but I'm a flawed person.
Dimitri: I do know that.
_
Will: I know you can be "overwhelmed" and I know you can be "underwhelmed".
Will: But can you ever just be… "whelmed"?
Acyn: …
Gaia: I think you can in Bulgaria!
_
Kenna: I think I'm in love with Nakoa.
Caspian: Congratulations! You are officially the last person to know.
_
Verena: Acyn, what are you doing here? Weren't you making spaghetti Tacos with Will, Kenna, and Dimitri?
Acyn: Well, I was.
Verena: …was?
Acyn: Well, I- it was just getting hot downstairs because of the fire.
Verena: THE WHAT?!
(Downstairs, the kitchen is completely on fire.)
Dimitri, looking around as Will and Kenna try to put the fire out with olive oil: Oh, this isn't good.
_
Nakoa: No pain, no gain!
Kenna: But I'm in constant pain and I've lost everything-
_
Gaia, about The Shadow Court: These people are my friends!
Gaia: I've known them for twelve hours!
_
Will: Kenna, what have I told you about comparing Eira to the devil.
Kenna: …That it's offensive to the devil?
_
Julian: Always strive to eat the stars.
Gaia, half asleep: Aren't they too hot?
Julian: Blow on them first, idiot.
_
Caspian: If you had to choose between Kenna and all the money I have in my pocket, which would you choose.
Dimitri: Depends. How much money are we talking about?
Kenna: Dimitri????
Caspian: Three coppers.
Dimitri: Sold.
Kenna: DIMITRI????!?!??!?!?
_
Julian: And once again, Julian and Gaia save the day.
Eira: You didn't do anything, it was all Gaia.
Julian: We're a package deal. Everyone knows that.
_
Gaia: You wanna see how hardcore I am?
Gaia: [punches a wall]
Gaia: Take me to the hospital.
_
(At a New Years Eve Party)
Kenna, to the Shadow Court: I would like to make a toast.
Kenna, raising her glass: I cannot believe we have gone through another 12 months of absolute fuckery.
Kenna: Cheers!

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Jax, after joining the Heart Pirates: These people are my friends!
Jax: I've known them for twelve hours!

Law: Jax, what are you doing here? Weren't you making spaghetti Tacos with Penguin, Shachi, and Bepo?
Jax: Well, I was.
Law: …was?
Jaw: Well, I- it was just getting hot over there because of the fire.
Law: THE WHAT?!
The kitchen is going up in flames
Bepo, looking around as Penguin and Shachi try to put the fire out with olive oil: Oh, this isn't good.
It takes a special kind of skill to set a submarine with a fully metal interior on fire
Those four possess that skill

@ElderGod-kirky group

I have a new and quite adorable ship, so I shall bestow them upon you


Rhydar: That’s weird. All my sweatshirts are disappearing
Quill, wearing one of his sweatshirts: So spooky


Quill, filling out false bank reports: Hey, what was the original amount of money that account had before we happened?
Rhydar, counting money: Facts are for the unimaginative
Quill: You forgot, didn't you?
Rhydar: …No…?


Quill, reading An Outsider's Guide to Earth: I appreciate how many cultures individually looked at a lizard and said 'okay, but what if it was really big and had magical powers?'
Quill: Too bad these idiots don't have to experience the pure terror of actually seeing one
Rhydar: Tess? Lex?
Quill: Those two missed a perfect opportunity
Rhydar: And I realize again how evil you can be


Quill: This is so cool! When can I meet the Vanguard?
Rhydar: Uh. Heads up, the gang is….
Rhydar: I'm trying to find the right words to prepare you and all I can come up with is 'dumpster fire'.


Random Stranger: You realize that nymphs are highly sought after by gods, right? That makes you a collector's item to them
Quill: Jokes on you, my boyfriend is a thief, not a god
Rhydar: Um, actually–
Quill: For fuck's sake Rhydar–


Tess: Rhydar, are you and Quill dating?
Rhydar, with Quill's head in his lap: What gives you that impression?


Rhydar: What's wrong?
Quill: I need a hug and about six months of sleep
Rhydar: Will an hour of cuddles suffice?
Quill, on the verge of tears: Yes


Wolf: Quick! Name five things that make you happy!
Rhydar: Hanging out with Quill, Quill's adorable laugh, Quill's huge smile, Quill’s eyes… um… Oh! And how Quill brightens up everything in the room
Wolf, incredulous: Are you still sure you aren't in love with him?
Rhydar:….I'm feeling a little less sure


Quill: I want someone to give me a hug but I don't want them to give me a hug because I want them to give me a hug because they want to give me a hug, you know?
Tess: I lost my last brain cell trying to process what you just said.
Rhydar: comes up behind Quill and scoops him up into a bear hug
Tess: Oh. Understood


Guard: You're a wanted man, Quillian
Quill: That's impossible - I wasn't even a wanted child


Wolf: Why's Quill asleep on your shoulder?
Rhydar, quietly: Shut up, it's cute.
Wolf: But just an hour you were complaining that he was annoying.
Rhydar : I changed my mind.


Quill, seductively: Tell me your wildest fantasy
Rhydar: I'm on Wheel of Fortune and I spin the wheel so fast it catches fire
Quill: No, I mean–
Rhydar: Everyone claps
Quill: Oh my gods you would be the worst client


Quill: I'm what the Victorians would call a "vile, ill-tempered and thoroughly wretched little creature."


Quill's parents: You’re my greatest disappointment, Quillian. I don’t remember raising you like this
Quill: I don’t remember you raising me at all


Rhydar: I noticed we've started to slowly phase the 'b' out of our bromance
Quill, ring box out: I mean, yeah, I guess.

@croccin-champagne

rupert: i can't wait to meet your team when they come over after the game!
lorelei: uh
lorelei: i'm trying to figure out the best words to prepare you, but all i can come up with is 'dumpster fire'

@GameMaster group

Marco: Alec? Have you seen my sweater?
Alec, wearing his sweater: …nope

Asia, wearing very little: Alec, dear?
Alec, handing her his jacket: Oh dear, did I forget to put your laundry in? It's okay, I have some things you can wear.
Asia, taking the jacket: That's…that's not-

Isaac: I think I have feeling for you
Jolene: Well that's a shame
Isaac: Why-
Amara: comes up and starts kissing Jolene
Isaac: Oh.
Jolene: Apologies, I hope you aren't-
Isaac: No…it's okay. This isn't the first time this has happened

Jolene: You sure know a lot about the law.
Marco: I do a lot of borderline illegal shit.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Azami: Torao, are you and Luffy dating?
Law, with Luffy's head in his lap: What gives you that impression?

Jax: Quick! Name five things that make you happy!
Law: Hanging out with Luffy, Luffy's adorable laugh, Luffy's huge smile, Luffy's eyes… um… Oh! And how Luffy brightens up everything in the room.
Jax: Are you still sure you aren't in love with him?
Law:….I'm feeling a little less sure.

Jax: Why's Luffy asleep on your shoulder?
Law, quietly: Shut up, it's cute.
Azami: But just an hour you were complaining that he was annoying.
Law: I changed my mind.

Sanji: Azami? Have you seen my jacket?
Azami, wearing his jacket: …nope.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Law: Now, kids, you can't just lay down and let people walk all over you.
Law: Lay down in the street and let them run you over with their car. If they're going to hurt you, they might as well do it properly.
Law: This episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter "Y"
Law: "Y" as in Y am I alive

I'm sorry this was too perfect

@HighPockets group

Nathaniel: That’s weird. All my capes are disappearing
Oscar, wearing one of his capes: So spooky

Joan, filling out false bank reports: Hey, what was the original amount of money that account had before we happened?
Nich, counting money: Facts are for the unimaginative
Joan: You forgot, didn't you?
Nich: …No…?

Miette: Oscar, are you and Nathaniel dating?
Oscar, with Nathaniel's head in his lap: What gives you that impression?

Henry: What's wrong?
Victor: I need a hug and about six months of sleep
Henry: Will an hour of cuddles suffice?
Victor, on the verge of tears: Yes

Beatrice: I'm what the Victorians would call a "vile, ill-tempered and thoroughly wretched little creature."

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Azami: What's wrong?
Sanji: I need a hug and about six months of sleep
Azami: Will an hour of cuddles suffice?
Sanji, on the verge of tears: Yes

Alternatively….

Jax: What's wrong?
Law: I need a hug and about six months of sleep
Jax: Will an hour of cuddles suffice?
Law, on the verge of tears: Yes

Note: Neither of these pairings are dating, just really good friends

@HighPockets group

Beck: Now, kids, you can't just lay down and let people walk all over you.
Beck: Lay down in the street and let them run you over with their car. If they're going to hurt you, they might as well do it properly.
Beck: This episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter "Y", "Y" as in "Y am I alive?"

@GameMaster group

Isaac: Now, children, you can't just lay down and let people walk all over you.
Isaac: Lay down in the street and let them run you over with their car. If they're going to kill you, they might as well do it quickly.
Isaac: This episode of Sesame Street was brought to you by the letter "Y", "Y" as in "Y am I alive?"

(This bitch falls in love with two lesbians and who end up together and then stabs himself to save one of them. There is no one who defines the word 'sad' more)

@ElderGodSeeba petsbing bing 🐸

(This bitch falls in love with two lesbians and who end up together and then stabs himself to save one of them. There is no one who defines the word 'sad' more)

(He and Kuroko would make great friends)

@ElderGod-kirky group

Tess: My native language is my second language
Kit: That's not–?
Tess: I'm Italian but I grew up in the States so I learned Italian late and English early
Kit: visible confusion

@ccb group

brad: you're polish?
jesse: yeah, half polish
brad: you don't act polish
jesse: oh sorry, let me just… get invaded by germany?

hawthorn: oh, tiddlywinks.
blackthorn: JUST SAY FUCK

cleo: darcy, truth or dare?
darcy: truth?
cleo: what's your credit card number

callie: what's your biggest fear
august: failure
callie: oh ok
callie: mine is those fuzzy toy worms but i feel kind of stupid about it now

dogwood: hey, want me to do a tarot reading for you?
magnolia: sure!
dogwood: (laying down cards) alright, this one tells me you're a precious angel, this one says your smile is heavenly, this one–
magnolia: wait, these are just photographs of me
dogwood: my point still stands

@HighPockets group

Nell, watching Therese spar with only a sports bra on: What a way to remember you're gay
Or, alternatively
Carrie, watching Ayla spar with only a sports bra on: What a way to remember you're gay