I think I procrastinate more now that I've kind of accepted I have ADD. Thoughts? I guess I was more ashamed of it before and so would try harder to snap out of it. But Idk what to do. Anyone have similar experiences?
Ngl, I feel like I've always been kind of proud of my ability to pull things off last minute and get a good grade. I've sort of internalized my anger at my inability to not procrastinate so it's mostly gone away. But I've started procrastinating little things a lot more, so that's… fun. So I guess I'm sort of procrastinating more? On certain things. But I wouldn't say I'm less ashamed
Oh and I had my birthday and no one wished me happy birthday on here or over text or on social media and it was kinda pathetic.
And I have to go to IOP so if any of you have gone can you like share your experience or give me advice or something, it’s making me nervous
When was your birthday fam?
Also, i seem to be lacking in words of comfort bc my brain went s p l a t the other day so yeah, but don't self harm
You are a very precious fren of mine and i don't want you to hurt yourself like that- if you can't help it, then find an alternative
Also, lemme take a sec to laugh at the "intensive outpatient program" cause i have that- well did last year, but now we do it via video but like, i used to bail all the time because i never did good in group settings, so i have no advice my dude, sorry
But maybe when they force me to go again we can share experiences- that is if i finally decide to cooperate and not hide in the bathroom for an hour-
Yeah my birthday was July 6th but it was someone else’s birthday so I didn’t say anything. As for self harm it’s a little late and it helps me feel grounded so until I have another method that works. Everyone says IOP is stupid so idk what to do but it’s either that or a mental hospital
Oh and I had my birthday and no one wished me happy birthday on here or over text or on social media and it was kinda pathetic.
And I have to go to IOP so if any of you have gone can you like share your experience or give me advice or something, it’s making me nervous
fucken hell, i missed your birthday fren???
jlkdsflksdf please tell me when it was so i can mark it down on that calendar, i don think i ever got your birthdays kljsdf
i'm so sorry-
big hugs @ fren
hap late bornaversary fren!!!!
i'm sorry i missed it-
[yes these things are why i pop back on here lkjsdf]
Nah it’s all good nobody knew it
Sitting with the air on in my car because it's too hot and I need to wait for my sister to finish dance is really killing my mileage. It's also uncomfortable and I'm kind of wishing I'd never volunteered to take her for a while. Because now it's kind of expected for me to take her
Do you ever just
Draw some characters for Art Fight
And realize
They look like Angelica and Eliza
I've just read a book for the first time since 2019,
I'm not sure how to feel about that
It has been a very draining day (emotionally). I wrote my Final Story for my Creative Writing class and I had to pull from some deep crevices in my heart to portray the amount of pain the narrator is going through. Bleh.
And now I have to get up tomorrow and not only edit that shit, but also bust out two very personal essays that the professor is going to read and grade for my final score in the class.
Hhhhh someone end me
Yeah my birthday was July 6th but it was someone else’s birthday so I didn’t say anything. As for self harm it’s a little late and it helps me feel grounded so until I have another method that works. Everyone says IOP is stupid so idk what to do but it’s either that or a mental hospital
i felt that- but try not to do it too much.
i prolly shouldn't say stuff like that, but im also someone that uses self harm as a relief, though, i've been clean for a uh, month now i think- idk i lost count lmfao
and as for IOP i have no idea what to say as i said before lol i've never been, though it's been recommended to me again and again
though, i guess it could help? though im not too huge on sharing stuff and doing things as a group
i like to keep to myself
but it definitely is better than ending up in the hospital again, but in my opinion, i loved all my stays at the hospital. it was very calming for me and helped me get away from one of my huge stressors at home
I have problems with time
I wrote that, grew bored, and wandered away
I'm constantly looking for a sign
That this is a good use of my time today
I have one hour before it's over. Why?
I won't focus or feel as it's over. Why?
Watch the clock as minutes pass by.
I have problems with my body
Crush me, deep pressure therapy feels lovely
Please don't touch, but my excuses feel shoddy
I want to attack you if you stand above me
Don't you dare touch me. Why?
Don't you dare leave me. Why?
Aggression and fear cloud my eye.
I panic at the thought of being left behind
But I hate the feeling of your hand in mine
I sit is perfect calm as deadlines draw near
And only when they're upon me do I fear
Why is this the way I am?
I could take it back and blame one man
But I won't.
I don't want to think about that.
So I don't.
Day two of marching band was better. Still super awkward but I wasn't shaking from anxiety the whole time
Yo I really felt that first verse.
i’m in a good mood rn so i’m just gonna awkwardly give y’all a virtual hug to show my appreciation
hugs
PSA
FUCK PERIODS
This was a unnecessary PSA… thank you for reading
Did I just write a very long message to my friend that contained lots of self deprecating things, yes. Do I feel bad about sending it, yes.
The guy has a job to worry about and a sister who's really struggling and he's not exactly doing great either. Why the heck did I do that.
Does he repeatedly say to tell him if I need anything, yes, Does he also tell me that I can rant and vent to him anytime, also yes. Does that make me feel any better about sending that message, no.
PSA: 360 videos are draining, even if you're just watching it from your bedroom
Also marching band was cancelled for today which is good because I feel like I'm going to throw up
No one:
My emotional disregulation: haha let's go cry because we didn't pick the least done brat lmao
I'm assuming we're talking about Nothotdogs again.
