aha
once again my father is back on his bullshit of 'I'll be better' then immediately drop us into a 'discussion' where I'm not allowed to address the literal bullshit he's spewing or the fact that I do have reasons for not doing what he wanted me to do for my class, specifically THE TEACHER TOLD ME WHAT TO DO IN THIS SITUATION and he doesn't like the fact that I didn't ask for help his way and that I'm not over the crippling fear and anxiety emailing teachers for help gives me even though literally the last time he forced me to I broke down sobbing and couldn't physically move
God I wish I was still in counseling so my therapist could look him in the eye and confirm that what he is doing is bullshit and hurting me like she had several times before
but as soon as my insurance wasn't being accepted there anymore he refuses to get me to a therapist who does because the other option 'is a welfare mine' and doesn't actually help people, when I know for a fact it does
He just doesn't understand how it can take more than a year to work through trauma and has told me 'that's a load of shit' when I said that the things he's done to me still affect me to this day
I very much still start to panic when anyone touches my art supplies, or brings up certain subjects
God I want to move out but also I know I'm going to have a hell of a time finding a job I can hold down with my mental health issues and I can't go on disability because oop- it was never officially signed off on that I have these things so in the eye of the law I'm a Perfectly Healthy and Capable person
I um….I have my first joint therapy session with my dad and I’m really nervous. Like I’ve felt like shit all morning. I doubt I’ll talk the entire session.
I swear to fucking christ, the class next to us is literally screaming, a grown man, screaming, like a child. I swear, I hate humanity.
My mom can't be on time to save her fucking life and I'm so sick of it because she makes me late all the time and I can't do anything about it. Everyone looks at me funny when I walk into class late and I'm just like y'all, I don't drive myself, what do you want from me.
Have you tried telling her stuff starts maybe 10-15 minutes before it actually does? That works for me
Well I can't now, I do that with most stuff cuz I've learned, but as far as school goes, she already knows what time it starts.
Can you drive? Or maybe ask someone else to take you?
Nope. I haven't even got my permit yet (and I'm 16, this shit is rigged-) and my mom definitely wouldn't let anyone else take me. My home situation is- complicated, so that's not an option unfortunately. Plus we live like 20 mins away from my school and she works in the same city I go to school in, so it just wouldn't make sense..
I have an insane ✨headache✨ and I'm scared of the ✨future✨
My mom can't be on time to save her fucking life and I'm so sick of it because she makes me late all the time and I can't do anything about it. Everyone looks at me funny when I walk into class late and I'm just like y'all, I don't drive myself, what do you want from me.
mood, my parents always make me late to things too and i can't do anything about it :/
Yeah, definitely had that problem a lot growing up. Have either of you brought it up with your parents, if it's something that can be helped?
my mom just blames it on me lmao
Same, she's like either mad at me for complaining about it like "i'm doing the best i can" or she'll say something like "well maybe if you helped me we could get out the door sooner." which i already do help her in the mornings and it doesn't help much. last year i got detention for being late so much so she started being on time after that but then this year came around and it's the same shit all over again.
Am I having a mental breakdown over my math test because I'm doing everything right and using the right equations but still not getting the right answers and so I'm questioning everything and crying and even though I should just accept that I'm going to fail because it's due in 2 hours and I still need to work on my photo project that my friends bailed out on at the last second, I can't seem to do it because my mom will get pissed at me and I'm already failing my math class so if I do bad on this test then I'll just bring my grade even lower and my mom will hate me. Yes, Yes I am
hnnnn
my Extremely Conservative school is preaching about how evil and horrible a minimum wage raise would be in all of the business classes and I hate it
Not even looking at the pros except saying it'll make people feel better
ok so
vent story time wooo
cw: death threats, homophobia, mention of vomit
Spoiler - click to show.
guess who finally found out they have a homophobe at their school? yes, that's right, me. some guy (we'll call him Xander for this cuz privacy issues) decided to start makin' fun of me for liking girls and going on about how girls can't like girls (god that argument is iconic) and just.. it started off simple, with small insults but soon enough, i started getting anonymous death threats in my locker and stuff, which after reading, made me want to puke. i couldn't stand seeing the stuff that was being told to me (not stating what the notes said for obvious reasons). i wanna go to my school and tell them about this and that i have a nagging feeling i know who is putting these notes in my locker, but i'm just so nervous that if i do, it'll escalate. and it's not just that either. Xander, the homophobe, started sending me roses with notes that contradict all of the death threats he sent (assuming he sent them, but it's likely that he's the one leaving the anonymous notes cuz i dunno any other homophobes at my school) , with notes on the roses saying things like "i love you" and "i'll protect you" like??????? you're putting my life in danger????????? then telling me you love me???????????? like wtf dude
but yeah there's that. hopefully i'll get it resolved soon but for now, my anxiety about the whole situation has spiked
Rip off all the petals off each time and shove them in his locker
Okay, so I look around my school and see the couples and I'm like, DAMN must be nice to have someone who wo'nt fucking hurt you mentally physically or verbally
I know right. It's so fucked because I don't even know many people whose relationships don't involve some sort of abuse. I like to take pride in mine because it's not like that, that's one thing I won't ever deal with.
My mom keeps telling me shit about how she doesn't want me getting a job because then I won't be interested in being a doctor. She also doesn't want me to get into hobbies so I won't lose interest. It's so annoying because I don't even think it's what I want to do and when I tried telling her to consider other jobs, she just said they don't fit my personality.
That's uhhh
That's fucked up.
Hobbies =/= job. You need them to unwind, and engaging in hobbies you enjoy is an important way to cope.
Also I wanted to be a doctor for the longest time, and if you are half-hearted about your studies, you're not going to be happy or successful.
ALSO if you want a job now working retail or food service, that's literally not a permanent job in your case, and not something you're going to enjoy or pursue as a career path.
I'm very sorry you're going through this. I can't say I've been there exactly, but there were high expectations from my family to become a doctor, and now that I've changed my path, my grandparents won't stop pestering me about how on earth I'm going to make good money.
You ever be having a literal crisis but at the same time laughing your butt off at dumb memes
Like yeah I'm having a panic attack but these do be funny, I c a n n o t deny it
Idthink I’ve ever had a legit panic attack but kinda mood.
I was out of town all weekend and was basically in the middle of nowhere for filming and couldn't do my homework, but I cam back all sunburnt and pretty sure with a screwed up shoulder and finished all my homework when I was reminded that I have to make a photo resume and pick out like 5 best of shows for competition and I have never done it before and at the same time, I'm trying to set up a dentist, doctor, eye, hair appointments, planning out my friends 18th birthday gift, and helping kids with the service project I'm in charge of and praying that my teachers update my grades. I just want this day to end
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