I HATE the fact that my friends are always playing sports.
So my three best friends are Varsity level athletes as Freshman. J, my guy best friend is on the Varsity wrestling and football team and they got 2nd in state for football and won six wrestling tournaments. L, one of my girl best friends, is a varisty cross country runner and a starter on the JV basketball team. A, my third best friend, is the goalie on the varsity soccer team and another starter on our JV basketball team.
And then there's me.
I don't even know what I'm doing with them anymore. I never understand what they're talking about in sports and I'm always trying to catch up on homework to really pay attention to their conversations and they're ALWAYS busy and we never have time to hand out and I just wanna break down because I don't know what to do because I really like them but I doubt that they want me still and I'm feeling like dead weight and then just a;dsfkjas;dklfjas;ldkfja;lskdfj;alskdjfa;
I don't know what to do.
Does anyone else casually misgender themself for comedic effect or am I secretly Cis? The movie.
I truly must stop showing my mother Contrapoints videos, she only ever agrees with the sarcasm.
Am I Secretly Cis Or Do I Just Need A Nap?
I HAVE ALL MY RPS WRITTEN DOWN IN A DOC SO I CAN RESPOND WHEN I HAVE THE MOTIVATION
Bruh that is dedication I aspire to. Nice.
I HAVE ALL MY RPS WRITTEN DOWN IN A DOC SO I CAN RESPOND WHEN I HAVE THE MOTIVATION
Bruh that is dedication I aspire to. Nice.
It is mostly annxiety fueled ngl bro
every time I start a new rp I add it to the doc so I won't accidentally fuck something up lol
I HAVE ALL MY RPS WRITTEN DOWN IN A DOC SO I CAN RESPOND WHEN I HAVE THE MOTIVATION
Bruh that is dedication I aspire to. Nice.
It is mostly annxiety fueled ngl bro
every time I start a new rp I add it to the doc so I won't accidentally fuck something up lol
That sucks. But like. I should start doing that.
Who is Deleted?
Their user name changed a lot, I think it was chicken nugget but spelled differently when they left
Me: last summer was the worst depression I've ever been through and possibly will ever go through
My emotional distress syndrome coupled with crippling anxiety and mounds of depression this time around: you fool
I wish my mom and stepdad's divorce would come sooner, I just hate having him around, just being around him makes me sick and trapped, he never did anything physical to me but I can't forgive him for hurting my mom and making me feel like shit for all these years. I know he has to be there for my brother, but I hate the fact that he has to be here. Why can't he just go away already? I wonder if I'm just overreacting since he never physically harmed me but still
Just because there was never physical harm doesn't mean it's not terrible.
I mean, I want my parents to get divorced more than anything because they constantly hurt each other. And while I'm pretty sure they're staying together for my brother and me, it's really doing more harm than good.
So I kind of feel you.
Just because things could be worse doesn't mean they're not bad.
CW: invalidation of mental conditions and mention of demon possession
Spoiler - click to show.
Our guest pastor today is an ex-cop.
We're at the part in the Bible about the crazy demon possessed man who runs to worship Jesus. He went on a rant about mental health.
"Parents, this is a wake up call- look at what your kids are watching and listening to. These things can be a demonic passage to people."
"I believe in America a lot of demon possession is masked as mental illness."
He specifically hinted that bipolar ppl and paranoid schizophrenics are often just demon possessed.
I could scream from the back row right now, but that'd just prove his point about today's youth.
As a mentally ill person with an already overbearing helicopter mom who only makes things worse with her "motherly" habits, I'm so fucking sick of this behavior being incited and encouraged at church. She already doesn't really believe in my DIAGNOSED conditions. She's always saying I'm just not close enough to Jesus. This is where neglect comes from. This is a huge reason why mentally ill kids don't get the attention they NEED. And the whole "watch what your kids are doing" thing is important in some cases, but that kind of stuff usually translates to "take away their only form of self medication." I'm talking music, videos, games, and access to communication with other people. I can't really talk to my friends for long periods of time. I can't join online support groups. I have to delete videos and searches for mental health resources because if my mom finds I'm looking for those things, she'll just make things worse. And it's starting at church. This is shit and I deserve better, honestly. Kids shouldn't suffer from their parents superstitions.
I swear to god….I hate being used like this…..
So um… both good and bad, but my partner opened up to me about what happened between them and our ex, and like… it was legit worse than I could've imagined. She made them feel awful about their body (which mind you, they were insecure about already), actually has sabotaged the public image of several people (all men. It's always men.) She was completely fucking out of line, and made this poor guy feel like they were doing everything wrong.
Also based on the information I was given, she was totally trying to sabotage our relationship, which is uh… fucked up, fellas. And while it's in the past, it's still causing pain. We still go to school together. Have some of the same friends. I feel like I've been seeing her name come up a lot more lately. So I've been thinking about her. And like. Not in a good way. I just want to protect my love and make them feel better. But alas, I am two hours away for now.
Hey, so my grandfather is in the hospital for the third time since December.
Thoughts/prayers/good vibes would be much appreciated.
I'm really worried this is it. He's been struggling with the same symptoms the past few months- severe anemia, some internal bleeding, etc. They haven't been able to find a root cause yet.. I'm really worried this might be it. He's 90 years old, has been living with prostate cancer for years, and the recent decline has me more than worried.
I'll light some incense for him
I know how that feels to have a grandfather in a hospital
sending all my good vibes your way
side note: last night was. fun to say the least
if "fun" means your fathers leave you outside in the rain because you have to shovel snow, draining all your energy by shoveling said snow, all the while your parents are depriving you of water and not letting you come inside until you have a breakdown and start banging on the porch door while in tears, and also possibly getting a cold after getting soaked and freezing
but oh well, at least i'm finally inside. got nice and toasty, had some leftover chicken for dinner with some soda pop. everything turned out slightly-better-than-usual-but-still-not-too-great in the end.
Aha small vent
When people respond to rps WITHIN 5 MINUTES AFTER I POST?!??!?!? I get so I dont know… intimidated????? Like I appreciate the quick responses but when they're within like 10 minutes every time??? And I usually respond like once every hour or so AT BEST… I don't even know
Also: I cant feel anything right now. It's all numb. I have MAP testing next period and I can't form a coherent thought and I… I'm just gonna write it into a song and pretend that I'm fine.
I was going to be productive today, like I actually woke up excited to do work. And then learned the WiFi is down and will not be back for the foreseeable future with no response from the shitty company despite getting plenty of ads from them. And then we’re getting “controlled” power outages that are definitely not random for who knows how long each time. So pretty much: I can’t write, I can’t work on homework, I can’t draw or play any sort of game without risk of losing progress and damaging my pc, and I’m out of books to read. no one is communicating at all, not the power company or internet service, not the university which is closed so I can’t go in to use any buildings or my art studio (with all my traditional supplies), and all my friends are investing in a new game and I told them to play without me cause they’re so excited and I don’t want to force them to wait on me. I hate winter, it sucks so much and I finally got a handle on my anxiety to do something and I can’t.
Anyways everyone stay warm, if you’re in the Midwest area make sure to know where your storm lanterns and other emergency supplies are in case you start losing power.
So, I had a hellish weekend. Working for 9 hours before dragged to a project that I had no idea about until I got there for another 7. On Sunday, I basically had Zoom and Teams meeting all day and I was babysitting again for 5 hours. Monday was 12 hour choir rehearsal and I got a small migraine/severe headache for the second half where I couldn't have medicine because I'm underage (I didn't have any on me) and they would have to as my mom and she would say no. Needless to say, after rehearsal, my voice was raw (Still is), I was exhausted, and I just wanted to do my homework. I was a little snippy and today my mom was angry at me with how I treated her yesterday. I tried apologizing to her, but she won't accept that. She won't talk to me and I don't know how to make it up to her so I give her her space, but then she gets mad that I'm in my room all day and I'm basically screwed no matter what.
My drawing teacher just pulled me aside for ten minutes after class to scold me for what? Being satisfied with something I was really proud about.
My drawing teacher just pulled me aside for ten minutes after class to scold me for what? Being satisfied with something I was really proud about.
yikes. Y'know, with everyone being hard on themselves and art, people forget its okay to be happy with what you make?! Like yes there is always room for improvements but its good to enjoy what you make otherwise why are you making it?
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