So let me preface this with this: I know that self-diagnosis is typically frowned upon and a bad thing, and I'm not giving myself a diagnosis. I'm just putting this out there. Y'all are welcome to be like "that's not legit" or "yeah that's legit", whatever. I just need to get my thoughts down and out there, and try to get this out.
So. I think I might have depression? It runs in my family, on both sides, and…I've been doing research, and I fit a lot of the symptoms. I found a list, and here's some of the ones that applied to me: tiredness, trouble focusing or concentrating, unhappiness, anger, irritability, frustration, loss of interest in pleasurable or fun activities, sleep issues (too much, for me), no energy, craving unhealthy foods, anxiety, isolation… there's a lot that fit me and…I don't know. I feel numb all. the. time. I get angry so easily, and snap at people just for getting too close. I don't remember the last time I genuinely smiled and could actually keep it up. I have not been tempted to self-harm, unless pinching myself really hard counts? I don't know. I just…maybe I'm wrong, but maybe not. I can't talk to a professional because that would mean telling my parents how I feel and I don't want to do that. They won't believe me or they'll say I'm making excuses and my mom will find some way to blame it on me and make it all my fault. I just…blugh. I don't know what I'm saying. Sorry for making y'all read all this
No dude it's fine. Honestly it's sometimes good to type or write out what you feel.
It’s chill, Ice. You probably do have it imo. Everyone seems to.
first off, you don't have to apologize, love. you're 110% entitled to your emotions and a place to put them into words. as far as self-diagnosis goes, it's completely normal for humans to try and justify and put how they're feeling into categories. it can be super helpful and actually a source of hope (it was for me at least, when i was looking at the symptoms for [redacted] and i actually began to feel like 'ah, this is a disease rather than me just being awful and messed up <3') and if people are complaining about others self-diagnosing, chances are they don't have a lot to do in life themselves lmao. that said, there is a bit of placebo affect where you start seeing symptoms everywhere after first starting to label something like that, so take everything with a grain of salt and don't panic. numbness, loss of interests, and trouble with sleep/concentration are giant indicators of depression, while self-harm urges aren't a deciding factor. that said, i don't know shit! and in the nicest and most respectful way possible to all of these lovely internet people, they're not licensed psychologists either!
the fact that your parents are Not Supportive of clinical mental health stuff is a major roadblock, but assuming you have access to internet or a phone there are some good places you can get in contact with. my personal favorite to use is the national crisis text line. while that's a scary name and makes it seem like you need to be in imminent danger to use it, they're really a mental health service program full of very well educated volunteers who can provide hope, information, and comfort to people who need it. you can text with them by sending 'help' to 741741. additionally, not to sound like a bloody middle school guidance counselor, but breathing pattern work can genuinely help. try an app like headspace, which is made for all ~meditation~ and ~mindfulness~ stuff, and just take advantage of breathing things. it helps with focus, anxiety, and calm.
that's about all i have to say on this (and i have to get to online class yikes) but please allow yourself to experience whatever you have to. if you have any other questions, please feel free to dm me. take care of yourself dude
first off, you don't have to apologize, love. you're 110% entitled to your emotions and a place to put them into words. as far as self-diagnosis goes, it's completely normal for humans to try and justify and put how they're feeling into categories. it can be super helpful and actually a source of hope (it was for me at least, when i was looking at the symptoms for [redacted] and i actually began to feel like 'ah, this is a disease rather than me just being awful and messed up <3') and if people are complaining about others self-diagnosing, chances are they don't have a lot to do in life themselves lmao. that said, there is a bit of placebo affect where you start seeing symptoms everywhere after first starting to label something like that, so take everything with a grain of salt and don't panic. numbness, loss of interests, and trouble with sleep/concentration are giant indicators of depression, while self-harm urges aren't a deciding factor. that said, i don't know shit! and in the nicest and most respectful way possible to all of these lovely internet people, they're not licensed psychologists either!
the fact that your parents are Not Supportive of clinical mental health stuff is a major roadblock, but assuming you have access to internet or a phone there are some good places you can get in contact with. my personal favorite to use is the national crisis text line. while that's a scary name and makes it seem like you need to be in imminent danger to use it, they're really a mental health service program full of very well educated volunteers who can provide hope, information, and comfort to people who need it. you can text with them by sending 'help' to 741741. additionally, not to sound like a bloody middle school guidance counselor, but breathing pattern work can genuinely help. try an app like headspace, which is made for all ~meditation~ and ~mindfulness~ stuff, and just take advantage of breathing things. it helps with focus, anxiety, and calm.
that's about all i have to say on this (and i have to get to online class yikes) but please allow yourself to experience whatever you have to. if you have any other questions, please feel free to dm me. take care of yourself dude
Thank you so much, Velocipede. I mean I think my parents might realize that maybe it's legit, but they'd also be the kind of people to say "just pray more" and, uhm…that idea makes me more anxious, in all honesty, because I'm not a Christian anymore, so. Yeah. But thank you for the words and ideas <3
Sometimes before I get nauseaus I violenlty twitch. It's very unpleasant. What is up with this.
So can I just level a moment.
My ex, I'll call S, my bestfriend and my crush were all sitting together at lunch and well… S kept flirting. My crush was confused as to why I was so red (oh maybe because he was explaining how we used to be towards each other.) My friend, who was on her phone, KEPT TEASING ME ABOUT MY CRUSH…and part of me hopes she doesn't realize that I'm HARDCORE crushing on her, because she is Chef's kiss
my mom got me this shirt that's like 3xs and i mean it does fit but like its really tight and not in a flattering way its like one of those ugly button down shirts and ik its meant to fit a bit oversized but my mom think oversized clothes look bad and she doesn't want to return it and she's insisting i wear it with jean and ughhhhhhh it looks so gross i dont want it idk why im this fustrated over a shirt but yeah
My parents want to cut my hair and they didn’t ask me but planned it for tomorrow and I’m freaking twenty years old and should have a say in my own looks and hair!!! Like, inconsiderate much? I know you don’t like the style. Frankly I don’t give a damn. It’s my hair, not yours.
My parents want to cut my hair and they didn’t ask me but planned it for tomorrow and I’m freaking twenty years old and should have a say in my own looks and hair!!! Like, inconsiderate much? I know you don’t like the style. Frankly I don’t give a damn. It’s my hair, not yours.
I felt that, My hair is like, three feet long now, and they want me to chop it and I'm like…. No I need my long billowing locks of hair because Aesthetic
For The Aesthetic. Valid reason if I’ve ever heard one.
I mean I've been growing this hair out for a very long time, I'm not chopping it now.
But scheduling a hair cut for you is just, that's a betrayal.
Y'all are like 'I like having long hair' meanwhile if my hair gets longer than like, 2 inches, it's gettin' chopped off
I can't wait until my hair gets to my waist. That's how I'll know I've made it lmao
I've been meaning to cut my hair since the beginning of quarantine but i never got around to that. It's down to my chest which is the longest I've had it in 2 years. A part of me want to grow it out super long tho lmao
I mean I've been growing this hair out for a very long time, I'm not chopping it now.
But scheduling a hair cut for you is just, that's a betrayal.
It be like that Ig. But forgive and forget. They made some solid points while they talked.
perhaps it is time for cis dudes to stop writing poetry on the experience of being a woman <3 perhaps 2020 is the year where they just knock it off <3
Wait what. I want to see this.
I really hate learning new games.
hi I would like for my ear to stop getting rashes after a surgery like hey I get it there's weird stuff happening there but I don't need a rash to prove it and remind myself of it all the time
also I h a t e the antibiotics so much, they're big and green and taste terrible
help I've acidentalLY RE-ENTERED A DEAD FANDOM AND NOW IM SITTING ON BED, CRYING
I'm watching Falsettos on Youtube and all I can say is "Damn andrew (Our Supreme Lord and Overseer) Rannells"
