forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

dom, I am yelling "fuck you" in your direction with more love than usual

Hardly an orthodox method of showing affection but I accept.

good news: i’ve discovered it’s not the meds making me weak, so I can start taking them normally
bad news: that means I have nothing to take away, nothing to fix this, the problem here is me.
I could attempt to use more physical restraints to try and force me forever into safety but mom took away my knife, cancer isn’t worth it, superglue isn’t permanent enough, and I don’t have any numbing stuff to make it easier if I had to resort to fabric scissors
I’m not sure what to do… I don’t want to tell anyone because they would try and change me, make me give up on my promise, and I can’t have that, I’ll never be like them for as long as I live-

Ella, exactly what kind of thoughts are gone that were keeping you "safe" if I may ask?

I'm confused

not really any specific thoughts, more like the stubbornness and determination that’s kept me from allowing myself to be too vulnerable around people, physically or emotionally

it’s hard to explain but it makes sense to me

ella
if you get any urges again
put an ice cub against your wrist, you can put some red paint on it if you like the look of blood
or bite a lemon that shit hurts
both help me when I'm having bad days

or bite a lemon that shit hurts

Me, who does this for fun:

Ella, I know these feelings are very real. But it's important to acknowledge that they are just that, feelings. They aren't reality, rather a reflection of how you perceive reality. Maybe acknowledging that is a good first step. Keep taking your meds, take good care of yourself. Eat and drink well. Nourish your friendships and family relationships. Do what you can.

I’ve been back on notebook for a day and a half and I’m already venting oops
Like yes I’m sad rn and I’m glad I don’t have to be around people thanks to quarantine. But also would I be this sad if everything was normal and I was around people?

did I just buy a dupe strawberry dress? Yes, yes I did

did I just buy a dupe strawberry dress? Yes, yes I did

omg luckky they're so cute

did I just buy a dupe strawberry dress? Yes, yes I did

We need pictures when you get it

Your name still makes me doubletake.

Me too Dom, me too

Ash's username makes me feel strong negative emotions

Ella's makes me feel visceral fear and disgust

yall be confusing me with your 25 daily name changes

Ella's makes me feel visceral fear and disgust

thanks
I already have my next one picked and it’s worse

I’m so scared for how it could possibly be worse

Ash's username makes me feel strong negative emotions

That's everybody's initial reaction upon meeting me

Ella's makes me feel visceral fear and disgust

thanks
I already have my next one picked and it’s worse

I am both scared and intrigued.

Ash's username makes me feel strong negative emotions

That's everybody's initial reaction upon meeting me

At least it's peas and not pees

Ella's makes me feel visceral fear and disgust

thanks
I already have my next one picked and it’s worse

I am both scared and intrigued.

:)

I'm bad with names already so the user name switches are just, really doing a number on my brain. It's even worse if you change the Profile picture at the same time. Ultimate confusion.

:)))