forum Quotes from the List of Completely Weird and Random Things We’ve Overheard… (About 15 quotes will be posted daily, and feel completely free to add your own!)

Started April 03, 2023 by @IamNOTachickenok

tune

The butter man is dead. You're next.

"Woof woof woof i dont care shut up"

• "Do you enjoy Little Casears pizza or are your tastebuds still intact?"

• "How do you make a pizza taste like soggy french fries? Who oiled up the pizza?"

• "Little Casears is like the Arby's of pizza. Dominos is like Wendy's. They're both fast food, but one doesn't hospitalize you."

• "[You're] eating nothing but slices of grease."

• "Cats are hard-wired to like the smell of garbage. That doesn't prove anything."

• "You seem like someone who'd deep fry a bucket of sand and snack on that. Like a goat. Baa."

(All from a very heated debate about the local Little Casears which, yes, is as greasy as the bottom of a McDonald's bag.)

"✨️get rid of all the dicks to make room for all the chicks✨️"

• "What's up, guys, girls, and pizzas cut into nine slices?"

• “Why would charcoal give him rabies?”

• “If the wind blew you too hard, we’d lose you to Oz.”

• “The dingo will get yo baby!!”

• “You look like you have tuberculosis”

• “What order are bats in?”
  “It’s Jesus!”

• “Why is he Batman?”
  “Because he’s black!”

• “Can you just kill the biological parents?”

• “Your hot air balloons need to look like big bois”

"what in the OH MY GOD."

"I don't care that the monsters lost THEY PLAYED PUSH IT BY GARBAGE"

"A girl cant even put a spoon in her refrigerator anymore!"

• "We got pizza from there once, and the cheese looked like turtle skin."

• "It's baby's first fanfiction!"

• "It's baby's first fanfiction!"

Me at 11 years old clicking an inconspicuous Pinterest photo and being transported to Wattpad

• "This feels like a Greek mythology story on anesthesia."

"oh sir, i came here to learn about colours. not some propaganda about my teeth."

"I've been, you know, chilling….not being hit by cars"
"…"
"First of all, fuck you-"

"hey, you're being… wrong." finger guns

Some dudebro at school I was talking to "Hey Snark (affectionate nickname for me since I like being rude to him; we're chill though.), you dress like Shigo if she were more dominatrix and shopped at Hot Topic. In a good way."
Me "Thanks. You dress like a cross between Mr. Incredible and the Hulk. In a meh way."

"Hey, dont judge the toddler energy just because we have more fun then you!!!"
"She just went and shoved her finger in it!! I WANTED TO BREAK IT IN!!!!"

"Is anyone else dying internally?"
"No, thats just you."
"Makes sense, just checking."

• "That's what it used to say, but someone scrawled on it with blood, 'HELP…' "
  "Well, that's no fun."
  "Could be!"

• "As you can see, I'm stacking, like, ten eggs, onto two egg patties."

symotainusly "you pooped when you had me!" "YOU WERE A C-SECTION" (yes this is a real conversation I had with my mom)

"I'm just trying to poop in peace!" "THEN YOU SHOULDNT HAVE POOPED HERE!"

In a baby talk voice

"Aww do you have an ear fetish babyyyy?"

• “You killed her!”
  “Womp womp”

• “Unceremonious little smatchet”

• “That’s the biggest the small’s gonna get”

• “Google Docs is a snitch!”

• "The words are red and shudder angrily from her mouth."

A to B: Who are you?
C: my boyfriend.
A: and who are you?
B: my boyfriend.
A: I'm asking him-
C: His boyfriend.

• "Ok, it's spelled 'Jason,' but there's an e."
  "A what."
  "An e."
  "How. Ja-sen?"
  "No, there's a y in there, too. Jeyson."
  "I don't like the Geoff Philosophy. Just pick normal letters."
  "No."

• “Unceremonious little smatchet”

_{Also, thanks for the obscure weapon name/insult!}

• "WHAT THE HELL IN THE WELL WAS THAT!"