forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

Started November 14, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was the only one. It was an unpleasant feeling.

I'm not afraid of it really. But at times I'm low-key scared for people I know.

It's mainly because I have this mindset of "I'd rather die/go down with a fight" so yeah… you aren't alone.

So, I was stuck at a cookie booth for about, I don’t know 6 hours
It was painful, no one ordered ANYTHING, I sat there with girls in elementary school who really, REALLY have no self control which I knew was going to happen because they’re young… well I didn’t know I was going to be there so long, and I started to get anxious. If you don’t know me, when I get uncomfortable/nervous and it progresses I get extremely tired, sad, and secluded. I’ll usually stop talking to people completely in the middle of a conversation I do it around a certain person that I sometimes talk about on here, I think Emi is getting the hint., and get super shy like. I’ll start stuttering and shit. But this time I got, well, extremely emotional. I have no idea WHAT happened, but I started to have a very bad anxiety attack along with flashbacks of my grandfathers death, a lot of stuff I wish I could forget like seeing my dad cry in front of me, seeing my sister(the one I actually like and have a lot of respect for) suffer or seeing Emi cry. That shit was painful. My mind was all over the place, it was past kill yourself and shit, it was to a whole new fucking level, I was so confused and shit that I forgot about being somewhere, next thing I knew I was on the floor crying. I still had to stay there. Fuck you grandma (Just kidding but still she did nothing).
That was my day. I’m still not fully together but whatever.
My birthday is on Thursday, and my mom got me a Chrom amiibo and a Mimiku plushie from GameStop for putting up with the cookie booth. She said I won’t get my game, probably, because her federal taxes is fucked up or something? I have no idea what she was talking about. And so I can’t do the dinner like I was planning, my mom was thinking of getting a separate table at my sisters baby shower and getting me a birthday cake, letting me invite friends. But, NOOOOO, THE LORD BITCH PREGNANT WOMAN SAYS IT’S HER OCCASION AND I’M NOT IMPORTANT she said I wasn’t important. The fuck My mom told her to shut the fuck up and told me I would get a table anyways, and said she might get my uncle to let me borrow his switch or maybe let me bring over some friends and we play games or whatever, which I’d rather cry in a corner by myself on my birthday then go celebrate something about my sister. Even my other sister wasn’t going, my mom said just to stop by and said she wants to see her. I want to see my sister, but I want to stay at home, maybe if I’m good enough my mom will get my uncle to hook the switch up to her big TV and let friends come over. That’s what’s planned for my big 16. I didn’t want a party lol.
Besides that I guess I’ve been doing better…? I’ve been way more bubbly, especially around a person I will not name. I look more cheerful and I’ve become a tiny bit more social, I’ve been able to build and hold conversations better, I haven’t had an anxiety attack at school for like a couple of months. Sure, me going through shit on Thursday was a thing but I’m not going to keep building more hatred and stress around it, I’m just going to ignore the shit out of Cunter and my bitchy sister. I’ll just not talk to them. Eh I’m going to go silent from notebook for a while, I’ll only reply to rps. I’m gonna not browse. I’ll just disappear for a bit, see ya.

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS LONG

No if you disappear I can't wish you happy birthday

I empathized most with that first sentence. I'm a boy of the ice cream booth myself.

No if you disappear I can't wish you happy birthday

Ok I’ll check in on my birthday then lmao

I'm a boy of the ice cream booth myself.

found my senior quote

Might want to change it to I am. But yes I see the attractiveness of such a thing.

gUYS A REALLY CUTE GIRL WINKED AT ME TODAY AT MY GUARD COMP AND WE STARTED TALKING AND OH MY GOD I'MMMMM–

Date her, coward

SHE GOES TO A SCHOOL TWO AND A HALF HOURS AWAY AND I DON'T HAVE A PHONE

MY GIRLFRIEND LIVES TWO HOURS AWAY TOO

I MEAN I HAVE A PHONE

BUT WE DON'T JUST TEXT

WE WRITE LETTERS

AND EMAIL

You know how you’ve come to terms with the fact that you’re just friends with your crush and then they do something really cute and you wanna die in a hole because they’re so fucking perfect.

yEs but my crush(ish) and I aren't friends

My best friend asked for a list of everything I hate about myself {she won't tell me why, but I think she has something sweet and kind behind it} and I just sat down at my desk and literally apologized to my typewriter for the amount of work it is about to do

Awwww, you have nothing to hate about yourself, lovely

that is not correct

Okay, so, I'm kind of scared, but of myself kind of? More or less my brain really.

I feel like my emotions are just constantly haywire and I don't know why. I get angry for no reason, get happy a little later, then start tearing up for no reason. I feel like a piece of loose-leaf paper one moment and then like I want the world to crumble to millions of little pieces next. I say things I regret and hurt people I don't even want to. I don't know why this is happening but it is.

Get more rest and stay hydrated. That's all I have. I know it sounds lame probably, but it might really help.

that is not correct

but it is, mir
you are an amazing person, and while you do have your flaws (as does everyone else), they make you who you are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nor should people tell you that that there is, therefore causing you to feel like there is things to hate about yourself

Get more rest and stay hydrated. That's all I have. I know it sounds lame probably, but it might really help.

I can only do one of those things, but thanks, Dom.

that is not correct

but it is, mir
you are an amazing person, and while you do have your flaws (as does everyone else), they make you who you are, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with you, nor should people tell you that that there is, therefore causing you to feel like there is things to hate about yourself

tHAT IS NOT CORRECT
BUT THANK

Okay, this is most of my writing in a nutshell.