forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started by @HighPockets group
tune

people_alt 169 followers

@Pickles group

Darlene to Cordelia, from halfway across the battlefield: Stay sexy and don't get murdered!

This will 100% be me and Ash if we ever go to war

@HighPockets group

Lyra: Did you know that atoms never touch each other? And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives. So to answer your question, Officer, I did not punch that man.

Kate, to Peter: I can tell you're trying to get a rise out of me or there's something wrong in your head
Kate: Either way it's your problem
Kate: But yeah, if it's the first one, you've succeeded

@knightinadream group

Ash: I'm such an idiot.
Knight:
Ash:
Knight:
Knight: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's gonna be a long night.

Jack: When choosing an outfit, you should ask yourself," Do I look like a character in an 80s movie, a fucking idiot, or gay" and if you say no to all three, your outfit sucks.

Pearl: What did I say about comparing Kimmie to the devil?
Chae:
Pearl: …?
Chae: That it's offensive to the devil?

Khyung: You were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the desk.
Astra: I did. I named him Fluffy. He likes coco puffs.

Matthew: Are you absolutely positive that you didn't get me a box of bees again?
Sebastian, standing a safe distance away: Matt, just open it.

Commercial: Are you tired of your everyday boring life?
Fen, crying: Yes!…I mean.. no! My life is great! Can't you see how happy I am?

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Ash: I'm such an idiot.
Knight:
Ash:
Knight:
Knight: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's gonna be a long night.

Just note that I took zero offense before realizing that these are your characters

@knightinadream group

Ash: I'm such an idiot.
Knight:
Ash:
Knight:
Knight: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's gonna be a long night.

Just note that I took zero offense before realizing that these are your characters

(It took me a moment to realize, I'm sorry.)

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Ash: I'm such an idiot.
Knight:
Ash:
Knight:
Knight: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's gonna be a long night.

Just note that I took zero offense before realizing that these are your characters

(It took me a moment to realize, I'm sorry.)

Don't be, anybody who knows me knows how dumb I am lmao

@HighPockets group

Jackson: God, I'm such an idiot!
Geneva:
Jackson:
Geneva:
Geneva: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's gonna be a long night.

Oscar: When choosing an outfit, you should ask yourself," Do I look like a character in an antique novel, a fucking idiot, or gay" and if you say no to all three, your outfit sucks.

Padma: You were supposed to do something about the raccoon under the deck.
Liz: I did. I named him Fluffy. He likes coco puffs.

@ElderGod-Icefire

Richard: God, I'm such an idiot!
Marie:
Richard:
Marie:
Marie: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's going to be a long night.

Henry: Did you know that atoms never touch each other? And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives. So to answer your question, Officer, I did not punch that man.

Henry: Are you absolutely positive that you didn't get me a box of bees again?
Marie, standing a safe distance away: Henry, just open it.

@HighPockets group

Percy: Gods, I'm such an idiot!
Alessandra:
Percy:
Alessandra:
Alessandra: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's going to be a long night.

Christopher: Did you know that atoms never touch each other? And since we're made of atoms, we've never touched anything in our entire lives. So to answer your question, father, I did not punch that man.

Georgie: Are you absolutely positive that you didn't get me a box of bees again?
Gabriel, standing a safe distance away: Georgie, just open it.

@Starfast group

Andor: Hey everyone, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your boss while you’re seriously sick.
Andor: Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, Andor”.
Dallas: I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

Caleb: Why do people think that humans are the peak of evolution?
Caleb: Bears get to eat berries and salmon all the time and sleep for half the year.
Caleb: How is that not so much more advanced than working every day until you die?

Dallas: I honestly think that "Thanks, I hate it" is one of the funniest phrases in the English language
Ara: One time I said "Merci, je le deteste" to my dad and he lost it, so it's not just English

Gerard: I hate it when parents are like "I know you better than you know yourself." Like, no you don't.
Gerard: Like, oh you're the expert on the inner machinations of my psyche? Name three of my top ten existential dreads.

Brian: God, I'm such an idiot!
Holly:
Brian:
Holly:
Holly: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's going to be a long night.

Matthew: What did I say about comparing Alexander to the devil?
Kit:
Matthew: …?
Kit: That it's offensive to the devil?

@Reblod flag

Thana: I'm not going to pretend that I'm not here as a spy for a different cult

I have a Thana too!

I'm really curious, @Reblod: what's yours like?

Aha completely missed your first post

Hm…my Thana is pretty chill but due to her abilities she has to go through a lot of suffering. She's kind and compassionate to everyone but with friends she can be sarcastic and loves to joke around as a bit of escapism. Too much attention makes her uncomfortable and she gets stressed out really easily. And she takes a lot of pride in personal hygiene. And has very little regard for her own life.

How'd they compare?

@Reblod flag

Aaaand Rogues of War Incorrect Quotes: Mara Edition

Mara: I have an idea.
Kado: No murder.
Mara: I no longer have an idea.

Mara: How come when I have fun it's bad?
Kado: Because people die when you have fun.

Kado: There is only one thing worse than a rapist.
Kado: Rips off piece of paper to reveal 'Child'
Mara: A child.
Kado: No-

Thana, giving a balloon to Mara: I have no soul, have a nice day!
Mara, accepting the balloon: I don’t have one either…
Thana: Laughing

Kado: You're meddling with forces you don't understand!
Mara: Yes. Why would I meddle with forces I do understand? I already know everything they know.

Kado: Mara is my enemy. But it turns out that Mara is also her own worst enemy. And the enemy of my enemy is my friend. So, Mara is actually my friend.

Kado: There are just some sounds that everyone loves. Like shoes on gravel.
Hunter: The crackling of a fire.
Freya: Rain hitting the roof.
Mara: The snapping of the necks of those who think they can oppose you.
Kado: I'm not getting into any more stupid arguments with you.

Mara: I have a lot of followers.
Moukib: What app?
Mara: App? I'm the leader of a cult.

Hunter: Name a way to be nice to others.
Mara: Don’t stab them.
Hunter: Setting the bar a little low but I’ll allow it.

Keiran: Hey, Mara, do you know if this snake is poisonous?
Mara: No, not poisonous at all.
Keiran: picks up the snake, gets bitten, collapses
Mara, calmly: It is, however, venomous.

Mara: Accept your flaws, you'll feel better. It worked for me.
Keiran: You accepted your flaws?
Mara: No, I accepted yours.

Mara: I want to change the world.
Kado: For the better?
Mara:
Kado: Mara?
Kado: Answer me, Mara.

Mara: What is this?
Iri: It's my to-do list.

Mara: Oh? That's great I'm so glad you're starting to be more orga-

Mara: This just says “Mara.”

Mara, about Cheyne: I'm sorry, can you make him stop doing that weird thing with his face?

Keiran: Crying?

Mara, very unconvincingly: I love emotions. I have them all the time.

Mara: Ugh, what's that horrible sound?

Iri: Children laughing?

Mara: Lux is really starting to piss me off. I need you to get rid of them for me, but make it look like an accident.
Slaughter: Say no more!
[later]
Zora: It looks like the killer burned them alive then placed a banana peel by their feet.

Mara: I'm sorry.
Cerin, narrating: Mara was not sorry.

Kado, writing to Mara: I hope this letter finds you before I do

Mara: There's a fine line between genius and crazy.
Mara: I like to use that line as a jump rope.

Yrrga: You think you're smarter than everyone else

Mara: I don't think I'm smarter than everyone else. I know I am

Mara: Terrible things happen to good people every day. Consequentially, I am not one of the good people, I'm one of the terrible things.

Keiran: I’m feeling a little judged again

Iri: It’s probably because I’m judging you

Mara: It’s probably because we’re all judging you

Mara: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something.
Keiran: You left me in the market square like three weeks ago.
Mara: I did that on purpose, try again.

Freya: What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Mara: Through the third and fourth ribs
Freya: Thanks
Kado: ???

Cheyne: I did a bad thing…
Mara: Does it affect me?
Cheyne: No-
Mara: Then suffer in silence.

Keiran: You’re insane!
Mara: Thank goodness for that because if I wasn’t this would probably never work.

@HighPockets group

Douglas: Why do people think that humans are the peak of evolution?
Douglas: Bears get to eat berries and salmon all the time and sleep for half the year.
Douglas: How is that not so much more advanced than working every day until you die?

Henry: I honestly think that "Thanks, I hate it" is one of the funniest phrases in the English language
Alice: One time I said "Merci, je le deteste" to my dad and he lost it, so it's not just English

Beck: I hate it when parents are like "I know you better than you know yourself." Like, no you don't.
Beck: Like, oh you're the expert on the inner machinations of my psyche? Name three of my top ten existential dreads.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks group

Incorrect Quotes with Ash: Peregrine and Estella Edition

Estella: What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Peregrine: Through the third and fourth ribs
Estella: Thanks
Mihawk: ???

Peregrine: Terrible things happen to good people every day. Consequentially, I am not one of the good people, I'm one of the terrible things.

Peregrine: I'm sorry.
Estella, narrating: Peregrine was not sorry.

Estella to Peregrine, from halfway across the battlefield: Stay sexy and don't get murdered!

Estella: There's a fine line between genius and crazy.
Peregrine: She likes to use that line as a jump rope.

Estella: I'm such an idiot.
Peregrine:
Estella:
Peregrine:
Peregrine: If you're waiting for me to disagree with you, it's gonna be a long night.

@knightinadream group

Phillip: You have to stop leaving your panties on the stairs!
Myung: Ugh, I hate that word.
Fen: Oh, well too bad! Stairs, stairs, stairs!
Phillip: I think he meant panties.
Fen:
Fen: Oh.

Lyz: Hello, nice to meet you! This is my ex-boyfriend, Carmen.
Carmen: You have got to stop introducing me like that.
Carmen: I'm her husband.

Ashley: Sanghun, what's wrong?
Sanghun:
Ashley: I haven't seen you this upset since you found out Candyland wasn't a country.
Sanghun: ..WAIT, CANDYLAND ISN'T A COUNTRY??

Maeng: You can say "have a nice day" and that's considered polite, but you can't say "enjoy the next twenty-four hours" without sounding extremely threatening.
Hyungwon: Why are you in my room?

@HighPockets group

Andromeda: Hello, nice to meet you! This is my ex-boyfriend, Erik.
Erik: You have got to stop introducing me like that.
Erik: I'm her husband.

Padma: Barry, what's wrong? I haven't seen you this upset since you found out Candyland wasn't a country.
Barry: ..WAIT, CANDYLAND ISN'T A COUNTRY?

Robin: You can say "have a nice day" and that's considered polite, but you can't say "enjoy the next twenty-four hours" without sounding extremely threatening.
Oberon: Why are you in my room?

@sock group

Lucas: Guys, it's been three weeks since I've eaten a vegetable

Chan: At least we have memes to dull the pain of existence

Ren: If all your friends jumped off a bridge wou-
Himari: Probably

Elyas: So how far do you think the distance is from that window to the ground?
Zephyr: Enough

Zephyr: I think the toaster is broken
Elyas: The toaster isn't broken, you're broken

Lucas: Do birds eat leaves?

Chan: One time I squawked at a bird
Lucas:
Chan: It was so rude! It didn't squawk back!

Lucas: Fun fact! The average person would walk past a murderer about 36 times in their life!
Elyas: How is this a fun fact?
Lucas: It's fun because they didn't decide to murder you

Lucas: I want to be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed
Himari: A dentist?
Elyas: I don't know what your dentist is doing, but I think you need to go to the police

@Pickles group

Emma: Okay so Sophie asked for fun facts that everyone likes, but she doesn't like my fun facts so you get them
Alex: What's your fun fact?
Emma: At Ted Bundy's execution, people had a party and sold buttons and shirts
Alex: I want Ted Bundy merch