forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Characters from my Peter Pan retelling

James, writing a strongly worded letter: Dear fate, when I asked if my day could get any worse - it was a rhetorical question, not a goddamn challenge

Smee: Do you know what true strength is? Forgiving a person who isn’t sorry.
James: Not to be dramatic, but I would much rather die.

John: Observe.
John: EVERYONE, The floor is lava!
Smee: [helps Wendy onto the counter]
James: [pushes Peter off the sofa]
John: As you can see, there are two types of people–

James: Of course I care about all of you equally!
Bones: We were attacked while you were away.
James: Is Smee okay???

Peter: I can't walk :(
James: Then limp

Curly: I wonder what it feels like to know what the hell is going on.

James, whilst staring directly at Peter: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

John: It’s stupid.
Peter: Hey, nothing we’ve done so far has been un-stupid, and we’re still alive, aren’t we?
John: I can’t really argue with that, but I feel like I should.

Peter: One day I’m going to say “fight me” and someone is just going to fucking deck me.
James: Believe me, that day is closer than you think.

Wendy: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?
Peter: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

Peter: So.
Peter: I'm in love.
Peter: with James.
Peter: I'm in love with James
Smee:
Smee: Our James?
Peter: Yes?
Peter: . . .thoughts?
Smee: And prayers.

James: Let’s have a drink to celebrate!
John: I’m actually still underage
James: Oh right
James: Here’s a silly straw

James: See? This is my "I don't care" face
Curly: That’s your normal face.
James: Exactly.

James: You must be pretty desperate to come to me with this, but I’ll consider helping. Here’s my card.
James: (slides wanted poster across the table)

Smee: James, why is our fridge full of Girl Scout cookies and vodka?
James: You told me to go shopping.

Geneva: When I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a rhetorical question, not a goddamn challenge

Simon: Do you know what true strength is? Forgiving a person who isn’t sorry.
Niklos: I would literally rather die.

Martha: Observe.
Martha: Everyone, the floor is lava!
Henry: Helps Victor onto the counter
Geneva: Pushes Jackson off the sofa
Martha: As you can see, there are two types of people–

Erik: Of course I care about all of you equally.
Phebe: We were attacked while you were away.
Erik: Is Byron okay?

Emma: Let’s have a drink to celebrate.
Clyde: I’m actually still underage
Emma: Oh, right
Emma: Here’s a silly straw

Vittoria: See? This is my "I don't care" face
J.B.: That’s your normal face.
Vittoria: Exactly.

Nich: You must be pretty desperate to come to me with this, but I’ll consider helping. Here’s my card.
Nich: Slides wanted poster across the table

Michael, handing Zack a cup of coffee: Blow.
Zackery: [shrugs and gets on his knees]
Michael: THE COFFEE

Isaak: You convince yourself that you're tough and that you're straight-
Bastian: I am tough!
Isaak:….
Bastian:….

Launce, handing Algernon a cup of coffee: Blow.
Algernon: Shrugs and gets on his knees
Launce: The coffee, Algie-

Wendy: You convince yourself that you're tough and that you're straight–
Peter: I am tough!
Wendy: ……
Peter: ……

James, handing Peter a cup of coffee: Blow.
Peter: Shrugs and gets on his knees
James: The coffee, panpipes, you blithering idiot–

XØ: Person of interest is too flattering.
XØ: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, ‘a man has been murdered in your building and you are a person of interest,’ I’d be like ‘Moi? Oh, do go on.’

XØ: You can de-escalate any situation by saying ‘Are we about to kiss?’
XØ: Doesn’t work for speeding tickets, by the way.

XØ: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

Wren, handing Aiden a cup of coffee: Blow.
Aiden: Shrugs and gets down on his knees
Wren: NOT ME THE COFFEE, AIDEN

Asuka: What are you doing, Mist?
Mist: Not you.
Asuka: Chokes That's not what I meant!
Invictus: Your right, she's doing me.
Asuka and Mist: Both choke

Angela: When I asked if my day could possibly get worse, THAT WAS NOT A GODDAMN CHALLENGE.

Anthony: You convince yourself that you're tough and that you're straight-
Dally: I am tough!
Anthony: ……
Dally: ……

Azazel: Let’s have a drink to celebrate.
Quill: I’m actually still underage.
Azazel: Oh, right.
Azazel: Hands her a silly straw

Dally: You can de-escalate any situation by saying ‘Are we about to kiss?’
Dally: Doesn’t work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Ellis: So.
Ellis: I'm in love.
Ellis: with Poli.
Ellis: I'm in love with Poli.
Tetra:
Tetra: Our Poli?
Ellis: Yes?
Ellis: . . .thoughts?
Tetra: And prayers.

Quill: I wonder what it feels like to know what the hell is going on.

Dally: You must be pretty desperate to come to me with this, but I’ll consider helping. Here’s my card.
Dally: Slides wanted poster across the table

Tereza: You convince yourself that you're tough and that you're straight-
Pietyr: I am tough!
Tereza: ……
Pietyr: ……

Jackson: You can de-escalate any situation by saying ‘Are we about to kiss?’
Jackson: Doesn’t work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

Nell: So.
Nell: I'm in love.
Nell: With Therese.
Nell: I'm in love with Therese.
Nich:
Nich: Our Therese?
Nell: Yes?
Nell: . . .thoughts?
Nich: And prayers.

Gwen: I’m hardcore, made of steel, and haven’t felt an emotion since 2004.
Jemma: I caught you crying over baby seals just two hours ago.

Launce: How did you get pass the guards?
Algernon: I flirted with them.
Launce: Why am I not surprised?
Algernon: Because it works on you.
Launce, blushing: What? No-

Oberon: Don’t kill me, I have a wife.
The Erl King: You think I care about that?
Oberon: What? Oh, no, this isn’t a plea for mercy. It’s a warning.
The Erl King: Wha-
Titania, jumping from a tree: ARE YOU READY TO DIE?!

Lydia: Do you know what true strength is? Forgiving a person who isn’t sorry.
Leon: Not to be dramatic, but I would much rather die.

Ashene: How did you get past those guards?
Cass: I flirted with them. Duh.
Ashene: Why am I not surprised?
Cass: Because it works on you.
Ashene: What? No- Shut up!

Tessa: Do you know what true strength is? It's forgiving somebody who isn't sorry.
Cass: I'm sorry, but I would much rather die again than do that.

Yes, most of these are Unus Annus quotes. The one year deathiversary is coming up, and I miss them goddammit.
~
Ethan: Did you ever leave cookies out for Santa?
Minnie: (stuffing her face with cookies) It’s not… it’s not Christmas yet… I’ll do it later.
~
Ethan: C’mon, you gotta commit!
Minnie: Oh I’m gonna commit alright; a fELONY-
~
Sage: So do you have a crush on anyone right now?
Minnie: Oh, uh, not really.
Also Minnie at 2am: (sobbing) YOU GAVE HER YOUR SWEATER, IT’S JUST POLYESTER, BUT YOU LIKE HER BETTER, I WISH I WERE HEATHERRR-
~
Ethan: I could totally beat Donny in a fight.
Minnie: D-Donny?
Ethan: Y’know, ol’ Donny! Er prebident!
~
Reese: I- wha- how did you even get in here??
Ethan: I crawled in. Through the oven.

Bastian: Must be hard not being able to laugh.
Isaak: I do have a sense of humor, you know.
Bastian: I've never heard you laugh before.
Isaak: I've never heard you say anything funny.

Casey: Does letting someone win at Monopoly count as sapiosexual bottoming?
Marisol: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak?

Jane: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.
Clyde: You and me.
Jane, tearing up: Okay-

Alice, getting ready to leave for college: Besides, it's not like I'm that needed around here-
Theo: What gets out Kool-Aid stains?
Erica: Well we already know the opposite color Kool-Aid doesn't work.

Jamie: Someone stuck a funny hat on my head.
Jamie: I'm going to leave it there.
Jamie: This is who I am now.

Pietyr: You…have a face.
Sola: Yes? I do?
Pietyr: I mean a nice face. You have a pretty nice face.
Sola: Thanks?
Pietyr: Please accept my attempt of flirting. I don't know what I am doing.

Bastian: Why are you always hanging around here? Don't you have parents?
Karr: What are parents?
Bastian:
Bastian: I see.

Erik: What scares you the most?
Phebe: Wasps.
Percy: Horses.
Byron: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us towards an inevitable death.
Isolt:….Byron.

Literally anyone else in their village: Happy birthday to the amazing Rista Carlton!
Isaak, Rista's twin: Wow, okay.

Mike: Scared?
Clyde: Actually, years of trauma and fighting for my life against mental and physical abuse and isolation have pretty much burnt out my adrenaline response to situations like this and left me without the ability to feel normal reactions and emotions.
Mike: What?
Clyde: I said you wish!

Huxley: Are you sugaring your burrito?
Fern, ripping open sugar packets: Food is anarchy, Huxley. Live by your own rules.

Joan: Excuse me, are you Nich Fox?
Nich: Depends on who’s looking for him.

Peter: Scared?
James: Actually, years of trauma and fighting for my life against mental and physical abuse and isolation have pretty much burnt out my adrenaline response to situations like this and left me without the ability to feel normal reactions and emotions.
Peter: What?
James: I said you wish!

Peter: You…have a face.
James: Yes? I do?
Peter: I mean a nice face. You have a pretty nice face.
James: …Thanks?
Peter: Please accept my attempt of flirting. I don't know what I am doing.

Wendy: What scares you the most?
Slightly: Wasps.
Curly: Horses.
John: The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us towards an inevitable death.
Nibs: …..John

Samuel: Well, that is…irksome.
Nich: Nah, it's shitty. What's irksome is you using the word "irksome".

Beck: There is no future, there is no past. Do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that we insist on viewing one edge at a time when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Marisol:
Harper:
Casey:
Everyone else at the surprise party:
Marisol: Hey Socrates, all I asked was if you wanted to cut the cake or have someone do it for you.

Niklos: Self care is actually getting into random fights in dark alleyways.
Simon: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath or painting a picture or taking a nice warm nap.
Niklos: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you. Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists. Self care is the fear in your enemies eyes.
Clive: Self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting.
Niklos: If you touch my birthday cake I'll make you eat your hands.

Jimmy: Isn't it weird how we pay money to see other people?
Maura: Plane tickets?
J.B.: Moving pictures?
Vittoria: Prostitution?
Jimmy:….glasses.

J.B.: Hah! 69! You know what that means!
Carey: What?
Vittoria: That you're a child?
Ceza: How'd you guess Schriver's IQ?

Grady: Gently taps table
Niklos: Taps back
Hank: What are they doing?
Simon: Morse code.
Grady: Aggressively taps table
Niklos, slamming his fist down: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Jackson: Cooking
Geneva: Please tell me that's for me.
Jackson: It's for Morgan. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight and I need her on my side.
Geneva: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Anthony: Sorry, can't hang out today. Too scared.

Quill: Someone stuck a funny hat on my head.
Quill: I'm going to leave it there.
Quill: This is who I am now.

Jack: Well, that is…irksome.
Quill: Nah, it's shitty. What's irksome is you using the word 'irksome.'

Quill: Sorry, tech bros, but the only 'crypto' I'm interested in is cryptozoology.

Anthony, dropping his coffee: I am in a state of decay.

Quill: In only two months it'll be 2022!
Jack: Jesus, I'm still processing 1874.

Quill: Jackalopes are just an urban myth. Like Bigfoot, or the state of Wyoming.

Silvie: Sorry, can't hang out today. Too scared.

Simon: Well, that is…irksome.
Niklos: Nah, it's shitty. What's irksome is you using the word 'irksome.'

Jackson: Sorry, tech bros, but the only 'crypto' I'm interested in is cryptozoology.

Victor, dropping his coffee: I am in a state of decay.

Hazel: In only two months it'll be 2022!
Violet: Jesus, I'm still processing 1874.

Peter: I love you
James: Aw, I love me too
James:
James: wait

James, to Peter: Roses are red
James: violets are blue
James: when I take a shit, I think about you
James: 'cause you're a piece of shit

James: I love you
Lilly: Okay, and I love lasagna. You don't hear me talkin' about how much I love lasagna

Peter: Oh my god I got a DM
Nibs: Dm…?
Nibs:
Nibs: dRUG MONEY?? Are you doing drugs??

Peter: James.
James: Yes, Peter?
Peter: Can we kiss?
James: Oh you want a kiss? Well you can kISS MY ASS

Peter: You're drunk
James, slurring and about to pass out: You're sexy

James: Fuck you, dude!
Peter: Well, I mean, if you want to
James: What?

Ulla: Oh my stars, I got a DM!
Lydia: Dm…?
Lydia:
Lydia: dRUG MONEY?? Are you doing drugs??

Launce: You're drunk.
Algernon, slurring and about to pass out: You're sexy.