forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

Lukas: Dang, the power went out.
Nori: Don’t worry, I got this.
Nori: stomps foot
Lukas: What-?
Nori: Sketchers light up

Lukas: Truth or dare?
Nori: Truth.
Lukas: How many hours have you slept this week?
Nori:
Nori: Dare.
Lukas: Go to sleep.
Nori: I don't like this game.

Lukas: So
Lukas: I'm in love
Lukas: With Nori
Lukas: Im in love with Nori
Claudia:
Claudia:…Our Nori?
Lukas:Yeah.
Lukas:Thoughts?
Claudia: And prayers

Lukas: Did… It hurt when you fell
Nori: From heaven? Wow I had no idea you were such a flirt-
Lukas: No I mean when you fell off the balcony.
Nori:…
Lukas: You just laid there for 15 minutes

Cassie: so
Cassie: I'm in love
Cassie: with Sophie
Cassie: I'm in love with Sophie
Alex:
Alex: Our Sophie?
Cassie: Yeah. Thoughts?
Alex: ….and prayers

Chirping
Kyla: What's that noise?
Lilly: There's chickens hatching in my pants :D

LEONIS !!!!!!!!

Robin: Ah yes, the four love languages.
Robin, pointing at Dakota: My family never told me they were proud of me
Robin, pointing at Benji: I'm so fucking tired please god just let me rest for five minutes
Robin, pointing at Brook: Please pay attention to me
Robin, pointing at Rocky: Touch Starved
———————————–
Wilbur: Yo dumbass, get over here.
Collyn: Okay-
Chester, gleefully running past: I’m coming!
Collyn, sadly: I thought… I was dumbass…
———————————–
Gordon: You're wearing makeup.
Jude: Oh, it's just eyeliner. Do you like it?
Gordon: Looks… okay, I guess.
[later]
Gordon, sobbing into Herb's shoulder: IT LOOKED SO GOOD!
Herbert: I know Gordie.
Gordon: I'M SO GAY!
Herbert: I know Gordie.
———————————–
Fraser: [wakes up in the middle of the night to see Myer an inch from his face]
Myer: So me and Leo had this idea—
Leopold, standing at the doorway: [to Fraser] Stop screaming.
Myer: —so we had this idea
———————————–
Chester: Go ruin somebody else’s Christmas, you chode
Ike: What are you getting from Santa? Genital warts?
Wilbur: it’s July.
———————————–
Herbert: so I have a problem
Jude: cmon Herbs I’m ur wingman, ur problems r mine too, next time say “we”
Herbert: oh okok
Herbert: WE fucked ur best friend
———————————–
Ike: without u, 60 minutes feels like an hour
Chester: awwww <333
———————————–
Brook: Now I'm crying. You made me cry
Dakota: Baby
Brook: No! Now is not the time for pet names
Dakota: No, I'm calling you a baby. I'm insulting you.

Sal: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something.
Shep: You left me in the parking lot last week.
Sal: Yeah, I did that on purpose.

Sal: You're really campaigning for asshole of the year, aren't you?
Shep: As defending champion, are you nervous?

Bee: Let me get this straight? More like let me run something bi you.
Kristi: Let's pan this out.
Kate: Let's ace-ess the situation.
Morgan: I'm gay.

Sal: I wonder if my trumpet would make a sound if I threw it at the wall.
Jer: Probably will, and I bet it’ll be better then anything you’ve ever made come out of it.

Geneva: Now, tell me something terrible that happened in your childhood.
Jackson: When I was in middle school, my parents divorced and I had to go to court and choose between them.
Geneva: Too personal, ew. I don't wanna hear about it.

Clive: You won't like me when I'm angry!
Niklos: Bold of you to assume I would ever like you anyway.

Niklos, to Simon: If I were to let my ridiculously high walls down for anyone, it would be for you.

Sal: Why do people think I’m incapable of doing anything nice?
Helsie: Experience.

Helsie: Sal, keep an eye on Shep today. He's gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
Sal: Sure, I'd love to see Shep get punched.
Helsie: Try again.
Sal: …
Sal: I will stop Shep from getting punched.
Helsie: Thank you.

Clive: From now on, we'll be using code names. You can address me as Eagle One.
Clive: Hank is Currently Doing That.
Clive: Grady is Well, I Wouldn't Be Mad.
Clive: Simon is It Happened Once In A Dream.
Clive: Dottie, code name: If I Had To Pick A Chick.
Clive: Niklos is…Eagle Two.
Niklos: Oh, thank the stars.

Paul: You can say "please" and "thank you" a million times and your kids won't repeat it, but your cousin calls someone a "goddamn piece of shit" one time-

Ari: Hey Luke?
Lukas: Yeah?
Ari: Why does my brother always call you babygirl?
Lukas: …
Lukas:Lets talk about something else.

Qili: I'm going to slyly mention that you’re single.
Blaze: Do not do that.
Qili: You won’t even notice!
Nova, entering: Guys, you wanted to see me again?
Qili: Blaze's single.
Blaze:

Eve: What in the galaxy were you two thinking?
Blaze: ISN’T RELEASING BIRDS AT A WEDDING SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTIC?
Eve: Not OSTRICHES

Nova: I'm writing a diary full of lies. I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like "wait, what?".

Qili: Knitting needles are great. I can make a scarf, I can make a hat, I can stab someone's eyes out, I can make mittens
Riyah: What was that middle one??
Qili: I can make a hat.

Riyah: Blaze, Qili broke her leg! Call her an ambulance!
Blaze: Qili you’re an ambulance!
Qili: Remind me why Blaze would ever be the one in charge in an emergency situation?

Qili: Oh, Riyah did the dishes.
Blaze: How do you know I didn't do them? Or Nova?
Qili: Because once when all the knives were dirty you cut a bagel with your lightsaber.
Qili: And Nova eats spaghetti out of eggcups whenever we're out of plates.

Jackson: I'm going to slyly mention that you’re single.
Matthew: Do not do that.
Jackson: You won’t even notice!
Becca, entering: Guys, you wanted to see me again?
Jackson: Matthew's single.
Becca:

Imogen: What in the galaxy were you thinking?
Kay: ISN’T RELEASING BIRDS AT A WEDDING SUPPOSED TO BE ROMANTIC?
Imogen: Not OSTRICHES

Carter: I'm writing a diary full of lies. I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like "wait, what?"

Rista: Knitting needles are great. I can make a scarf, I can make a hat, I can stab someone's eyes out, I can make mittens
Bastian: What was that middle one??
Rista: I can make a hat.

Darlene: Carter, Louis broke his leg! Call him an ambulance!
Carter: Louis, you’re an ambulance!
Louis: Remind me why Carter would ever be the one in charge in an emergency situation?

Lydia: Oh, Leon did the dishes.
Kitty: How do you know I didn't do them? Or Aubrey?
Lydia: Because once when all the knives were dirty you cut a bagel with the key to your room.
Lydia: And Aubrey eats spaghetti out of eggcups whenever we're out of plates.

Kay: You look tired.
Addie: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Kay: Were you doing something cool?
Addie: Does worrying count?
Kay: No.
Addie: Then no.

Sal: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Helsie: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.

Shep: We're doomed.
Sal: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Shep: I'm nineteen.
Sal: I said good, not long.

Paul: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
Beck: Thank you.
Paul: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Beck: What I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.

Kate: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Dr. Flynn, to Victor: But listen, it's probably nothing. If we had to shut down for every mysterious event that at least one death could be attributed to, we'd never have time to do anything, right?

Graham: Criminals are hungry, stupid people.
Simultaneously
Kate: That's a hurtful stereotype!
Bobby: Hey! I’m hungry and stupid and I’m not a criminal!

Bobby: Well, I did go to summer camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out.
Matthew: Kicked out?
Bobby: Yeah. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I don’t like liars who steal shit and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of the head.

Matthew, to Kate: I can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it’s been pointed out to me that that’s, you know, insane.
Bobby: I said “quirky.”

Kate: I'm tired.
Matthew: Same.
Morgan: Same.
Bobby: Same.
Kristi: Same.
Kate: Glad we're all on the same page.

Bobby: I never know what’s going on and I believe it’s just very sexy of me to be like that.

Kate: You’re looking a little unsteady there.
Bobby, drunk: Says the girl with three heads.

Matthew: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Bobby, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Matthew: There is a strict no-animals policy at this school.
Luci: Okay.
Kristi: Except for the science teacher's fish.
Bobby: And Kate's high horse, which occasionally makes an appearance.

Talia: Can I confess something awful?
Vince: Please not murder again-

Dallas: Wow, you're so good at drawing. I can't even draw a stickman.
Andor: Man, that sucks. I can though.

Gerard: Did I accomplish my goals this year? No.
Gerard: But did I look after my mental and physical health? Also no.

Milo: New year new me! And by that I mean I will refuse to change in any way yet blame outside forces for my shortcomings.

Gerard: Hear me out. What if instead of kissing someone on new years we all just collectively scream.

Milo: I'm writing a diary full of lies. I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like "wait, what?".

Crispin: Can I confess something awful?
Gerard: Please not murder again-

Andor: I never know what’s going on and I believe it’s just very sexy of me to be like that.

Gerard: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Crispin, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Milo: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

ayoooooooo new character batch yo:

Paisley: I have the sharpest memory. Name one time I forgot something.
Abel: You left me in the parking lot last week.
Paisley: Yeah, I did that on purpose.

Paisley: You're really campaigning for asshole of the year, aren't you?
Felix: As defending champion, are you nervous?

Felix: Let me get this straight? More like let me run something bi you.
Shea: Let's pan this out.
Abel: Let's ace-ess the situation.
Drew: I'm gay.

Shea: I wonder if my trumpet would make a sound if I threw it at the wall.
Rhyda: Probably will, and I bet it’ll be better then anything you’ve ever made come outta it.

Paisley: You won't like me when I'm angry!
Felix: Bold of you to assume I would ever like you anyway.

Bianca, to Shea: If I were to let my ridiculously high walls down for anyone, it would be for you.

Paisley: Why do people think I’m incapable of doing anything nice?
May: Experience.

Paisley: Sal, keep an eye on Abel today. They're gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.
Rhyda: Sure, I'd love to see Abel get punched.
Paisley: Try again.
Rhyda: …
Rhyda: I will stop Abel from getting punched.
Paisley: Thank you.

Bianca: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Donovan, to Paisley: But listen, it's probably nothing. If we had to shut down for every mysterious event that at least one death could be attributed to, we'd never have time to do anything, right?

Bianca: Criminals are hungry, stupid people.
Simultaneously
Crimson: That's a hurtful stereotype!
Shea: Hey! I’m hungry and stupid and I’m not a criminal!

Rhyda: Well, I did go to summer camp. For two weeks. I got kicked out.
Grace: Kicked out?
Rhyda: Yeah. It’s a long story. Suffice it to say I don’t like liars who steal shit and then pass out when you slap them a little bit on the back of the head.

Paisley, to Grace: I can come by between classes. Usually I use that time to copy over my class notes with a system of different colored pens, but it’s been pointed out to me that that’s, you know, insane.
Felix: I said “quirky.”

Grace: I'm tired.
Paisley: Same.
Felix: Same.
Rhyda: Same.
Abel: Same.
Grace: Glad we're all on the same page.

Felix: I never know what’s going on and I believe it’s just very sexy of me to be like that.

Grace: You’re looking a little unsteady there.
Felix, drunk: Says the girl with three heads.

Crimson: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Jeb, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at her: That’s beautiful.

Paisley: There is a strict no-animals policy at The Compound.
Grace: Okay.
Abel: Except for Felix's ferret.
Rhyda: And Shea's high horse, which occasionally makes an appearance.

Grace: Wow, you're so good at drawing. I can't even draw a stickman.
Felix: Man, that sucks. I can though.

Grace: Did I accomplish my goals this year? No.
Grace: But did I look after my mental and physical health? Also no.

Rhyda: New year new me! And by that I mean I will refuse to change in any way yet blame outside forces for my shortcomings.

Abel: Hear me out. What if instead of kissing someone on new years we all just collectively scream.

Abel: I'm writing a diary full of lies. I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like "wait, what?".

Abel: Can I confess something awful?
Paisley: Please not murder again-

Hank: Wow, you're so good at drawing. I can't even draw a stick man.
Simon: Huh, that's unfortunate. I can though.

Beck: Did I accomplish my goals this year? No.
Beck: But did I look after my mental and physical health? Also no.

Richard: New year, new me! And by that I mean I will refuse to change in any way yet blame outside forces for my shortcomings.

Isaak: I'm writing a diary full of lies. I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like "wait, what?".

Violet: Can I confess something awful?
Alyssa: Please not murder again…

Byron: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Percy, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.

Byron: Sometimes when you intensely dislike a person, you just have to take comfort in the fact that one day, they will be dead.

Ulla: Wow, that’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen!
Hal: That’s a snake.

Sal: Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, I've been the same height since I was 12.

Simon: If I were still loyal to them, you would know it.
Niklos: Really?
Simon: It would become immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.

Oscar: I distinctly remember somebody saying, “We’re not gonna make it!” I think we made it.
Percy: I’m sorry I overreacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren’t going to make it.
Oscar: Yes, well. Maybe next time we’ll just wait and see.
Percy: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?

Clare: This cookie is…spicy? It's supposed to be sweet. It's not even fully baked. If I had to rate this, I would give it a three -
Ulla: I baked them myself!
Clare: - out of three stars! Best cookie I ever had!

Shep: Welcome to the 'fuck Sal Bryhme' club where we go around saying 'fuck you, Sal Bryhme'.
Helsie:
Helsie: I may have misinterpreted the premise of this club-

Algernon: I trust Tabitha.
Launce: You think she knows what she's doing?
Algernon: Well, I wouldn’t go that far.

Kitty: Guess what number I'm thinking of!
Aubrey: 420
Kitty: No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Clare, exasperated: Is it 69
Kitty: Yeah, it was 69

Matthew: Sometimes it's annoying when your character can't jump in a video game, but how often do you jump in real life?
Bobby: "Do you even remember the last time you jumped" is a question I never anticipated to leave me feeling so hollow and terrified.

Bee: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Shep: So, that’s the plan!
Sal: Are you alright with constructive criticism?
Shep: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Sal: Your plan fucking sucks.
Shep: That’s not constructive!

Clare: Tereza ran off, can you help me find her?
Lydia: What, do you think I have her microchipped or something?
Clare:
Clare: Do you?
Lydia: Yeah, hang on.

Bobby: Falls off a roof, crashing into the bed of a pickup truck
Morgan, not taking her eyes off the road: Hey, Bobby.
Bobby, casually sitting up: Hey.

Sal: Dear Santa,
Sal: I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty
Sal: And it was worth it, you judgemental bastard

Lydia: You really believe in Algernon?
Kitty: Luckily, he believes in himself enough for the both of us.

Dressel: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Clive: Self-advocating? Bold move.

Shea: Wow, that’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen!
Bianca: That’s a snake.

Jeb: Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, I've been the same height since I was 12.

Shea: If I were still loyal to them, you would know it.
Bianca: Really?
Shea: It would become immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.

Paisley: I distinctly remember somebody saying, “We’re not gonna make it!” I think we made it.
Grace: I’m sorry I overreacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren’t going to make it.
Paisley: Yes, well. Maybe next time we’ll just wait and see.
Grace: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?

Paisley: This cookie is…spicy? It's supposed to be sweet. It's not even fully baked. If I had to rate this, I would give it a three -
Cagney: I baked them myself!
Paisley: - out of three stars! Best cookie I ever had!

Abel: Welcome to the 'fuck Shea Garner' club where we go around saying 'fuck you, Shea Garner'.
Bianca:
Bianca: I may have misinterpreted the premise of this club-

Paisley: I trust Abel.
Rhyda: You think they know what they're doing?
Paisley: Well, I wouldn’t go that far.

Rhyda: Guess what number I'm thinking of!
Felix: 420
Rhyda: No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess, and please take this seriously.
Grace, exasperated: Is it 69
Rhyda: Yeah, it was 69

Rhyda: Sometimes it's annoying when your character can't jump in a video game, but how often do you jump in real life?
Felix: "Do you even remember the last time you jumped" is a question I never anticipated to leave me feeling so hollow and terrified.

Rhyda: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Jeb: So, that’s the plan!
Bianca: Are you alright with constructive criticism?
Jeb: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Bianca: Your plan fucking sucks.
Jeb: That’s not constructive!

Paisley: Shea ran off, can you help me find her?
Donovan: What, do you think I have her microchipped or something?
Paisley:
Paisley: Do you?
Donovan: Yeah, hang on.

Abel: [Falls off a roof, crashing into the bed of a pickup truck]
Shea, not taking her eyes off the road: Hey, Abel.
Abel, casually sitting up: Hey.

Abel: Dear Santa,
Abel: I'm writing to let you know I've been naughty
Abel: And it was worth it, you judgmental bastard

Grace: You really believe in Abel?
Paisley: Luckily, they believe in themselves enough for the both of us.

Paisley: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Felix: Self-advocating? Bold move.

(Character development time!)

Safie, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Safie: I'm pansexual and confused.
Safie: Not about being pansexual. I just never know what the heck is going on.

Cameron: They always ask what you’re doing, never how you’re doing.
Rosa: Well, how are you doing?
Cameron: None of your goddamn business.

Tomas: We have fun, don't we Martin?
Martin: I've never been more stressed out in my life.

Cameron: What are you doing?
Cameron: Why are your arms doing that?
Cameron: This can't be normal-
Maisy: This is called a hug.

Something blows up
Martin: Rosa, what did you do?!
Rosa: My best.

Dally: Even if it's by supervillains, it's nice to be wanted.

Safie: Have a good day!
Rosa: That's asking for a lot since I haven't had a good day in years.

Maisy: We have to get through this locked door. Quick, Dally, give me your credit card
Dally: Here, take it.
Maisy, pocketing the card: Cool. Now I'm gonna kick the door down.

Rosa: You don't have to be so humble.
Safie: But seriously, I'm not so good at it.
Rosa: Well you're the only one here who knows CPR and he's dying so-

Martin: You look tired.
Rosa: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Martin: Were you doing something cool?
Rosa: Does worrying count?
Martin: No.

Tomas: The best way to solve your problems is to make more problems until you die!

Martin: Rosa, did you sleep okay?
Rosa: No but I drank four cups of coffee, so I think I can do this.

Dally: I'm doomed.
Martin: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Dally: I'm sixteen.
Martin: I said good, not long.

Rosa: Well, I hate to say I told you so-
Rosa: Wait, no. That felt pretty good.

Rosa: We're going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Tomas: Yeah, everyone, listen to Rivet!
Rosa: I was talking to you.

Safie: Guys! If you were a fruit what would you be? I'd be a strawberry!
Maisy: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group
Safie:
Safie: Very expressive! Anyone else—

Rosa: I am going to need you to swear–
Dally: Fuck!
Rosa:…swear as in promise.

Tomas: Based on statistical evidence, I'm immortal.
Rosa: How so?
Tomas: I haven't died yet.
Rosa: That's not how it works!

Cole, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Jeb: I'm bi and confused.
Jeb: Not about being bi. I just never know what the hell is going on.

Rhyda: They always ask what you’re doing, never how you’re doing.
Grace: Well, how are you doing?
Rhyda: None of your goddamn business.

Abel: We have fun, don't we Grace?
Grace: I've never been more stressed out in my life.

Paisley: What are you doing?
Paisley: Why are your arms doing that?
Paisley: This can't be normal-
Grace: This is called a hug.

[Something blows up]
Paisley: Felix, what did you do?!
Felix: My best.

Felix: Even if it's by the police, it's nice to be wanted.

Grace: Have a good day!
Paisley: That's asking for a lot since I haven't had a good day in years.

Felix: We have to get through this locked door. Quick, Paisley, give me your credit card
Paisley: Here, take it.
Felix, pocketing the card: Cool. Now I'm gonna kick the door down.

Cole: You don't have to be so humble.
Danny: But seriously, I'm not so good at it.
Cole: Well you're the only one here who knows CPR and he's dying so-

Crimson, about Shea: Look at her eyes.
Bianca: I know. They’re so pretty.
Crimson: I was gonna say that the look in them is terrifying but okay.

Danny: You look tired.
Cole: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Danny: Were you doing something cool?
Cole: Does worrying count?
Danny: No.

Abel: The best way to solve your problems is to make more problems until you die!

Felix: Grace, did you sleep okay?
Grace: No but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.

Paisley: Well, I hate to say I told you so-
Paisley: Wait, no. That felt pretty good.

Paisley: We're going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Abel: Yeah, everyone, listen to Pais!
Paisley: I was talking to you.

Rhyda: Guys! If you were a fruit what would you be? I'd be a strawberry.
Shea: I'd be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group
Rhyda:
Rhyda: Very expressive! Anyone else—

Felix: I am going to need you to swear–
Abel: Fuck!
Felix: …swear as in promise.

Abel: Based on statistical evidence, I'm immortal.
Grace: How so?
Abel: I haven't died yet.
Grace: That's not how it works!

Kitty: Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate
Leon:…I was having a good day
Lydia, through gritted teeth: We were all having a good day

Rista: Would you sleep with Isaak for $100,000?
Bastian: Hmm. Would I have to pay him all at once or could I pay by installments?
Bastian, five seconds later: oH-

Sybil, barging into the room: Hey, I need to ask you something-
Clive, lying awkwardly on his bed, flustered: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Sybil:
Sybil: Is Hank under the bed?
Hank, muffled: No

Leon: We can't steal a ship.
Aubrey: We stole Silvie.
Leon: Aubrey, Silvie is a person. She can do whatever she wants. And she wanted to come with us.
Silvie: I want to steal a ship!

Helsie: How the hell did you two get thrown in jail?
Sal: I don't know! We didn't do anything wrong!
Shep: When the guards stopped us, they asked "papers?" and Sal replied with "scissors" and ran off.
Sal: You snitch.

Algernon: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.

Sal: Accept your flaws, you'll feel better. It worked for me.
Shep: You accepted your flaws?
Sal: Nah, I accepted yours.

Kels: We need a plan. How long can you hold your breath?
Eliot: I don't know, a minute?
Kels: Not long enough. Kay, are you familiar with the technique "slam and cram"?
Kay: No, and I don't think I want to be.
Kels:…Algernon, how attached are you to your pinkie?
Algernon: Very very much attached, and for the record, I will not be going through with any plan with any vaguely terrifying questions like that involved.

Sal: The stars have let me live another day and I’m about to make it the government's problem.

Sal: I think I'm losing my voice.
Shep: Ha, guess that means you can't yell anymore.
Later in the day
Shep: Turns out Sal's scarier when he's quiet.

Percy: Alessandra and I slept together.
Aristotle: And?
Percy:…I thought you’d be more shocked.
Aristotle: Oh, sorry.
Aristotle, in a "surprised" voice: AND?!

Isolt: Here’s a concept. Me, eating strawberries and peaches on a hillside where I am far from everything I know.

Shep: I can't seem to do anything right now.
Sal: Mhm. I never thought I'd have to say this, but there's only space in this family for one disappointing relative, and I've held that title for a very long time, so you're gonna have to get it together.

The Director: You're too late, fools! You'll never stop me now.
Eliot: That's where you're wrong, evil-doer! We will stop you using the powers of–
Imogen: Friendship!
Addie: Harmony!
Kels: Incredible violence.
Kay: And love!

Bastian: I’m different now. Like, before I thought I was gay, but then I saw you
Isaak: Well, that's a bit rude-
Bastian: Before I thought I was gay, now I know that I’m gay.
Isaak:

Dottie: Bad news, the printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say ''Hank's Birthday''
Clive: What does it say?
Dottie: ''Hank's Bi''
Clive: Well, that still works

Addie: Algernon, you're so tall. What can you see?
Algernon: Everyone's flaws.

Helsie: Stares up at the stars
Sal: What are you doing?
Helsie: Naming the stars after people I love.
Sal: Do I get a star?
Helsie: You get the sun.

Launce: Hey, what are you drinking?
Algernon: Vodka.
Launce: Straight?
Algernon: Not really.
Launce:
Algernon: Oh, you meant the vodka-

Helsie: I have this urge to do something stupid.
Sal: I can be stupid. Do me.
Helsie:
Sal:
Helsie:
Sal:…did I say it out loud?

Shep: Why is life so hard?
Sal: Don't worry, I know that this all seems unfair now. But someday when you're older and wiser, you'll be able to look back on all this and get revenge.

Algernon: Accidentally sets himself on fire
Algernon, completely deadpan: I'm a flaming homosexual.
Launce: Laughs nervously while dumping water on him

Violet: My favorite hobby is telling Richard in detail about all of our mental issues and watching him get progressively more uncomfortable because he knows he caused at least half of them.

Abel: Blowing a dandelion is basically you helping a weed ejaculate
Grace:…I was having a good day
Paisley, through gritted teeth: We were all having a good day

Jeb: Would you sleep with Shea for $100,000?
Bianca: Hmm. Would I have to pay her all at once or could I pay by installments?
Bianca, five seconds later: oH-

Shea, barging into the room: Hey, I need to ask you something-
Cole, lying awkwardly on his bed, flustered: Uh, yeah, what's up?
Shea:
Shea: Is Danny under the bed?
Danny, muffled: No

Grace: We can't steal a ship.
Felix: We stole Abel.
Grace: Felix, Abel is a person. They can do whatever they want. And they wanted to come with us.
Abel: I want to steal a ship!

Paisley: How the hell did you two get thrown in jail?
Rhyda: I don't know! We didn't do anything wrong!
Felix: When the police stopped us, they asked "papers?" and Rhy replied with "scissors" and ran off.
Rhyda: You snitch.

Felix: What can I say? I'm charming and irresponsible.

Paisley: Accept your flaws, you'll feel better. It worked for me.
Shea: You accepted your flaws?
Paisley: Nah, I accepted yours.

Paisley: We need a plan. How long can you hold your breath?
Grace: I don't know, a minute?
Paisley: Not long enough. Grace, are you familiar with the technique "slam and cram"?
Grace: No, and I don't think I want to be.
Paisley: … Felix, how attached are you to your pinkie?
Felix: Very very much attached, and for the record, I will not be going through with any plan with any vaguely terrifying questions like that involved.

Abel: The gods have let me live another day and I’m about to make it the government's problem.

Paisley: I think I'm losing my voice.
Rhyda: Ha, guess that means you can't yell anymore.
Later in the day
Rhyda: Turns out Paisley's scarier when she's quiet.

Bianca: Shea and I slept together.
Crimson: And?
Bianca: …I thought you’d be more shocked.
Crimson: Oh, sorry.
Crimson, in a "surprised" voice: AND?!

Paisley: Here’s a concept. Me, eating strawberries and peaches on a hillside where I am far from everything I know.

Cole: I can't seem to do anything right now.
Shea: Mhm. I never thought I'd have to say this, but there's only space in this family for one disappointing relative, and I've held that title for a very long time, so you're gonna have to get it together.

Shea, about ready to kill Donovan: You're too late! You'll never stop me now.
Paisley: That's where you're wrong, traitor! We will stop you using the powers of–
Felix: Friendship!
Rhyda: Harmony!
Abel: Incredible violence.
Grace: And love!

Cole: I’m different now. Like, before I thought I was gay, but then I saw you
Danny: Well, that's a bit rude-
Cole: Before I thought I was gay, now I know that I’m gay.
Danny:

Grace: Bad news, the printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say ''Felix's Birthday''
Paisley: What does it say?
Grace: ''Felix's Bi''
Paisley: Well, that still works

Jeb: Crimson, you're so tall. What can you see?
Crimson: Everyone's flaws.

Rhyda: Hey, what are you drinking?
Felix: Vodka.
Rhyda: Straight?
Felix: Not really.
Rhyda:
Felix: Oh, you meant the vodka-

Drew: I have this urge to do something stupid.
Felix: I can be stupid. Do me.
Drew:
Felix:
Drew:
Felix: …did I say it out loud?

Paisley: Why is life so hard?
Donovan: Don't worry, I know that this all seems unfair now. But someday when you're older and wiser, you'll be able to look back on all this and get revenge.

Felix: [accidentally sets himself on fire]
Felix, completely deadpan: I'm a flaming bisexual.
Grace: [Laughs nervously while dumping water on him]

Shea: My favorite hobby is telling Donovan in detail about all of our mental issues and watching him get progressively more uncomfortable because he knows he caused at least half of them.

Shep, stepping in a puddle in his socks: Dammit!
Sal: Holy shit, Shep, let's watch the fucking language-

Algernon: How do I look?
Launce: Like a cheap harlot from Kauff.
Algernon: From Kauff?!

Martin, texting Rosa: I just walked into a bar and somebody yelled dibs.
Tomas, texting Rosa: HELP I'M DRUNK AND I JUST SAW MARTIN COME INTO THE BAR AND I YELLED DIBS

Hank and Clive: In a hot tub
Dottie, walking by: Two bros chilling in a hot tub, five feet apart 'cause they're not–
Hank and Clive: Start making out
Dottie: …

Sal: Am I a bad boy?
Helsie: Yeah, you're a bad boy.
Sal, pulling her closer: Oh yeah? So, how bad am I?
Helsie, remembering Sal saying he didn't want dessert and then eating hers: You're a nightmare to be honest.

Martin: Don't say anything. Just act cool.
Dally, starting to shiver: Like this?
Martin: No, I mean act calm.

Ulla, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

Ceza: You're a loose cannon, Keller.
J.B.: No I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Ceza: I think you play by your own rules.
Carey: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken.
Yrin: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
J.B.: Nah, I'm just a reckless renegade. Vittoria is a loose cannon.
Vittoria: Breaks a chair

Aristotle: I’ve created a map of all the places where faerie circles seem to be.
Byron: That’s…a map of the whole country.
Aristotle: I have no idea where they are.

Sal: In short; wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you've been sent to assassinate the Director.

Rista: Oh, don't worry! I don't bite!
Bastian:….
Rista: Actually, I did bite a kid once-

Shep: If you kill a killer, the number of killers in the world stays the same.
Sal: Kill two.

Victor: Have you ever been told your tenacity can be a bit intimidating?
Geneva: Yeah, every day of my life since kindergarten.

Sal, during his show: I am at a loss for words!
Shep, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, Sal ranted about the government for the next half hour.

Maura: What is love?
Vittoria: A neurochemical reaction.
Yrin: An emotional minefield
J.B.: Baby don't hurt me~

James: So, what are all of your skills?
Tabitha: I can read the histories of objects.
Eliot: I can control the actions of others.
Kels: I can create and wield lightning.
Addie: I can understand any language.
Kay: I'm practically indestructible.
Imogen: I make good life decisions.
James: That’s not really-
Eliot: No, trust us. She’s our most important member.