forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Victor: Sometimes I have to remind myself that the British don’t measure time differently than us.
Henry: Wait, they don’t?

Tristan: I want to change the world.
Tana: For the better?
Tristan:
Tana: Answer me, please.

Jenna: If I came to you every time I had a problem-
Mikal: We'd spend a lot more time together.
Jenna: Are you saying I always have a problem?
Mikal:
Jenna: Its sad that you're not wrong.

Christi, after being injured: I'm getting a brain scan tomorrow.
Fern: To check if you have one?
Christi: Well thank you for your concern and support.

Theodore: I'm so useless!
Tana: Don't say that! You're not useless!
Tristan: You can be used as a bad example.

Jenna: I went to the doctor and all they tested was my patience.

Noah: You should volunteer at neurological research places, because you have been knocked out a lot my friend.
Jenna: I'll keep that in mind.
Noah: Perhaps not the best place all things considered.

Myra: i’m gonna mix a can of Red Bull with seventeen shots of espresso in a fishbowl and then chug it while Kids by MGMT plays in the background so i can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and fight my own soul.

Myra: sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism.
Sparta: how so?
Myra: it keeps you from screwing up for 8 hours.

Matthew: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?
Aariss: I’m too pretty.

Blaze: I’m so sad Alev and Tiana aren’t with us. They’re my best friends.
Draco: What about me?
Blaze: You’re my worst friend.

Anna: Christi offered me her drink because I said I was thirsty.
Anna: I did not expect to take a sip of vodka at 6:30 in the morning-

Sparta: watching the news: Xavier, you wanna tell me why the entire block is up in flames?
Xavier, covered in soot: Global warming?

Theodore: Lemme just play Devil's advocate here-
Jenna: Self-advocating? Bold move.
Theodore, on the verge of tears: Thanks

(Time to flesh new characters 😳)

Luis, speaking through tears: Maybe the real treasure was the traumas and trust issues we gained along the way
Kenzo: Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.
————————————–
Ethan: you have to apologize to Seth
Emilio: fine.
Emilio: ‘unfuck you’ or whatever
————————————–
Luis: Elias is going to kill us!
Alastor: Not if we kill him first.
Ethan: NO ONE IS KILLING ANYONE!!?
————————————–
Elias: why aren't you wearing clothes?
Kenzo: I uh- I have nothing to wear
Elias: Yes you do [opens the closet] There's pants, trousers, Emilio, shirts.
————————————–
Emilio: Don’t ever speak to me or appear in front of me ever again.
Alastor: OMG you’re so dramatic all I ever did was possibly kill your best friend!
————————————–
Interviewer: that's a pretty rock
Seth: Thanks, Emilio gave it to me!
Emilio: I threw it at you
Seth: He's my best friend!
————————————–
Alastor: yo, are you done yet?
Elias: done with what?
Alastor: [stabs him] breathing.
————————————–
Fangirl flirting with Kenzo: my parents aren't home if ya wanna come back to my place?
Emilio: DON'T SLEEP WITH HER KEN! YOU'LL GET ADHD!!!
Kenzo: im not go- what?
Ethan: I think he means HIV
————————————–
Seth: looks like you're gonna have to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way outta this one!
Luis: omg so true bestie!!
Ethan, crying: what the fuck are you saying-

Silvie: You have to apologize to Bas.
Clare: Fine.
Clare: Unfuck you or whatever.

Tabitha: The Director is going to kill us!
Hal: Not if we kill her first.
Shel: NO ONE IS KILLING ANYONE!!?

Della: Looks like you're gonna have to gaslight gatekeep girlboss your way outta this one!
Teagan: Omg so true bestie!!
amy (the most wonderful woman in the world): What the heck are you saying-

Christi and Fern: * in jail *
Fern: Who should we call?
Christi: I'd call Anna but I feel safer in jail.

Columbine:This is the worst day ever.
Fern: Because Ferrin got shot?
Columbine: No because its a little humid- YES BECAUSE FERRIN GOT SHOT.

Oliver: I have to tell you something

Ivaan: So you're a vampire? Knew it

Oliver:..no I was going to say I loved you but alright-

(Angy flesh out characters time The Mill addition)

Oscar: Sorry guys I can‘t be in this mission. It’s not good for the baby.
Parker:
Cooper:
Carter:
Johnny:
Brenton:
Vincent: W-What baby?
Oscar: Me
————————————–
Parker: Wow El, is there anything you can't do?
Elio: Gather the courage to say I'm in love with you.
Parker: . . . what?
Johnny, screaming from three feet away: HE SAID HE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU
————————————–
Vincent: it's decorative!
Parker: that doesn't change the fact that it's a fucking gun
————————————–
Waitress: and what can I get started for you, young man
Johnny: 2 liquid chickens, please
Cooper, visibly shaking: he would like 2 eggs
————————————–
Brenton: hey Vince, when did you get your drivers license?
Vincent: my what?
Parker in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT
————————————–
Brenton: welcome to the fuck Parker club. in this club we say “fuck you” to Parker
Elio, standing up: there has been a HUGE misunderstanding, I need to leave -
————————————–
Johnny: What do you think Bren will do for a distraction?
Parker: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
[Building explodes and several car alarms go off]
Parker: … or he could do that.
————————————–
Cooper: why are you guys out in the rain?
Oscar: I like slashing in the puddles!
Vincent: I’m trying to get hit by lightning

Andor: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Adelia: why are you guys out in the rain?
Caleb: I like splashing in the puddles!
Gerard: I’m trying to get hit by lightning!

Dallas: hey Andor, when did you get your drivers license?
Andor: my what?
Ara in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT

Taven: Wow Keyla, is there anything you can't do?
Keyla: Gather the courage to say I'm in love with you.
Taven: . . . what?
Calidor, screaming from three feet away: SHE SAID SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU

(This thread needs 50cc of adrenaline - stat !!)

Ike: Why doesn’t Chet find me sexy when I bite my lip?
Collyn: What do you look like when you bite your lip?
Ike: [bites lip]
Collyn:
Collyn: Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?
————————————–
Jude: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Herbert: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
————————————–
Chester: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-
Chester and Ike, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Collyn: Our turn, Ste! One, two, three- vanilla!
Stephen, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.
————————————–
Robin: I’d like a coffee and he’ll have a juice.
Rocky: Robby i’m 17 years old.
Rocky: I can order my own juice.
————————————–
Benji: I haven’t cried in years
Brook: ok Ben, go to therapy maybe, that’s not a flex
————————————–
Chester, gently nudging Stephen aside with his foot: Ste, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.
Stephen: You kick Ste? You kick his body like the football? Oh! Jail for Chet! Jail for Chet for one thousand years!
Chester: 🧍🏻‍♂️
————————————–
Fraser: are you ok?
Herbert: just high on life!
Fraser: and?
Herbert: [sighs] glass cleaner
————————————–
Brook: trauma makes you gay or funny
Brook: or in my case, both
Dakota: i think it just made me gay
Brook: yeah :)
————————————–
Myer: but-
Collyn: grow up! the easter bunny isn’t real, the tooth fairy is fake and the queen of england doesn’t exist!
————————————–
Herbert: [takes out a box of cereal]
Herbert: [grabs a bowl]
Herbert: [grabs milk]
Herbert: [pours milk into his hand]
Jude, watching from the side: hey uh Herb-
Herbert: no, no just give me a minute. i know something is wrong just give me a minute. i’ll figure it out. just wait a minute.
————————————–
Stephen: may i sit there?
Willbur: that’s my lap?
Stephen: that doesn’t answer my question.
————————————–
Ike: I am the straightest man in the world. Just ask my boyfriend. Chet?
Chester: He’s very straight.
Ike: Thanks babe [kiss]

Chief: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three—
Chief and Little, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!
Sancia: Our turn, Rolfe! One, two, three— vanilla!
Dr. Direwolf, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Axelin: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail
Dorothea: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police
————————————–
Dorothea: I’d like a coffee and he’ll have a juice.
Axelin: Dorothea i’m 17 years old.
Axelin: I can order my own juice.
————————————–
Lilith: I haven’t cried in years
Dorothea: ok Lili, go to therapy maybe, that’s not a flex
————————————–
Annalise: are you ok?
Dorothea: just high on life!
Annalise: and?
Dorothea: sighs glass cleaner
————————————–
Annalise: but-
Dorothea: grow up! the easter bunny isn’t real, the tooth fairy is fake and the queen of england doesn’t exist!
————————————–
Axelin: takes out a box of cereal
Axelin: grabs a bowl
Axelin: grabs milk
Axelin: pours milk into his hand
Dorothea, watching from the side: hey uh Axe-
Axelin: no, no just give me a minute. i know something is wrong just give me a minute. i’ll figure it out. just wait a minute.

Lydia: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Kitty: No it’s my fault, I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police

Geneva: I haven’t cried in years
Henry: Okay Gen, go to therapy maybe, that’s not a flex

Clive: May I sit there?
Hank: That’s my lap.
Clive: That doesn’t answer my question.

Memphis: all in all, a successful heist!
Jay: WE LOST CRAIG
Memphis: all in all, a successful heist!
————————————–
Eric: get me a sees her salad
Markus: a caesar salad?
Eric:
Eric: you know what, you smartass-
————————————–
Shane: I have literally seen you naked before.
Colton: but we said no homo.
Shane: I lied.
————————————–
Jack: Den, where did your freckles go?
Dennis: oh my freckles fade in the winter
Jack: oh ok
Jack, later, kicking the snow aggressively: give. Him. Back. His. Freckles. You. Stupid. Bitch.
————————————–
Eric: if anything goes wrong, just fake a heart attack.
Shane, a nursing student: what are we thinking? The classic angina? Or something sexier, like a myocardial infarction?
Eric, who has no idea what those words mean: just drop on the ground and wiggle
————————————–
Craig: [listening to music in his room]
Jay, yelling: I KNOW I'M NOT HEARING NIRVANA ON A SUNDAY
————————————–
Memphis: send dudes.
Colton: … do you mean ‘send nudes’?
Memphis: no, I’m literally in a fight. send backup.

Minnie: (takes out a box of cereal)
Minnie: (grabs a bowl)
Minnie: (grabs milk)
Minnie: (pours milk into her hand)
Sage, watching from the side: Hey, uh, Minnie-
Minnie: No, no, just give me a minute. I know something is wrong, just give me a minute. I'll figure it out, just wait a minute.
~
Minnie: (gasps)
Ethan: wHAT??
Minnie: WHAT IF SOY MILK IS JUST INTRODUCING ITSELF IN SPANISH???
Ethan:
Ethan: (inhales)
Sage, in another room w/ Reese: Why do I hear screeching?
~
Sage: Are you laughing at a video of Minnie and Reese fighting?
Ethan: (close to tears) No.
Ethan: I’m laughing at the comments.
~
Sage: Is Minnie okay?
Reese: No.
Reese: She took one of those “wHicH mEMbEr oF ThE TErRa LeGiON aRe YoU??” quizzes.
Sage: And?
Reese: She got Ethan.
~
Reese: Why are your tongues purple?
Sage: We got slushies. Mine was red.
Minnie: I had a blue one.
Reese: Oh.
Reese:
Reese: OH.
Ethan: You guys drank each other’s slushies?
~
Sage: How do you know how to kiss? Like, who teaches you?
Minnie: It’s actually a class, but unfortunately it’s full right now.
Minnie: Would you like me to tutor you?
Ethan (eating popcorn): Holy shit, that was smooth.
~
Ethan: I’ve met a lot of pricks in my time but you, Reese, are a goddamn cactus.
~
Ethan: Oi, I just found a snake and I’m keeping it, what should I name it?
Reese: yOU WHAT??
Minnie: Barack Cobrama
~
Minnie: I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood, and I’m not afraid to leave the same way.
~
Arthur (on the phone): Look, just aim for the knees and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent-teacher conference.
Arthur: Sorry about that! You said Minnie’s enjoying improv club? That’s great.
~
Ethan: Eh, I’d have to think about that one.
Minnie: (patting him on the back) Well don’t think too hard, I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself!
Ethan: :O
~
Sage: So… what’s going on?
Ethan: You want the short version or the long version?
Sage: The… short one I guess?
Ethan: Shit’s fucked.
Sage: Oh. Well, yeah, that’s definitely not an optimal situation.
~
Minnie: Have you done this before?
Ethan: Well Minnie, it’s like if you read the script you come better prepared.
Reese: That’s not what we do here, we don’t read things.
Minnie: I don’t rEAD, ETHAN.

Quill: How petty can you get?
Jack: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Dally: Ant has delicious lip balm.
Cyrus: Wait, did you two kiss?!
Anthony: No, this asshole just ate all my lip balm!

Magnus: Is it okay if I swear?
Cyrus: Yes. To be a part of this agency, you must learn how to cuss.
Magnus: F
Cyrus: Yes, go on!
Magnus: I’m nervous!

Cyrus: She stole from me first!
Anthony: Mhm.
Cyrus: Stole my heart…
Anthony: It is still illegal to commit murder.

Quill: What?! I can’t kill him!
Azazel: Not with that attitude, you can’t!

Quill: Girls are so cute. Guys are so cute, too! Why is everyone so cute?!
Elliot: Global warming.

Azazel: Let me give you some advice.
Quill: Uh, okay.
Azazel: If a door reads ‘push’, you pull. It’s not directions, it’s a challenge.

Emmett: I’d like a coffee and she’ll have a juice.
Quill: Dr. Euclid, I’m 17 years old.
Quill: I can order my own juice.

Cyrus: Sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail.
Dally: No, no, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t’ve used my one phone call to prank call the police.

Tabitha: How petty can you get?
Algernon: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Kay: Addie has delicious lip balm.
Imogen: Wait, did you two kiss?!
Addie: No, they just ate all my lip balm!

Oleander: She stole from me first!
Calla: Mhm.
Oleander: Stole my heart…
Calla: It is still illegal to commit murder.

Teagan: Girls are so cute. Guys are so cute, too! Why is everyone so cute?!
Della: Global warming.

Algernon: I’d like a brandy and she’ll have water.
Tabitha: Algernon, I’m 17 years old.
Tabitha: I can order my own water.

The Director: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Algernon: Self-advocating? Bold move.
The Director: Fuck off.

Algernon: Hey babe, guess what this jacket is made of?
Launce: We've been dating for years, Algie, I know it's boyfriend materi–
Algernon, getting down on one knee: Wrong, it's husband material.

Hazel: I know everyone sees Clyde as the edgy dude because he steals and gets into fights or whatever
Hazel: But I do crazy things that can result in bad health too.
Hazel: Eats raw cookie dough
Hazel: See? I'm the real bad boy.

Robert: Why did yo guys get arrested?
Clyde: I don't know; we didn't do anything wrong.
Jane: We got pulled over and when the officer said "papers", Clyde yelled "scissors" and drove off.

J.B.: I brought reinforcements.
Ceza: You brought Yrin?
J.B.: Uh, no, but I brought the next best thing.
Hank: Hey.
Ceza: You brought Hank? The next best thing would have been Vittoria!
Hank: Normally, I'd be offended, but you're not wrong.

Percy: I don't really know how to do anything.
Percy: But I'm bi.
Percy: I'm so bi.
Percy: So I think I'm just going to take that and run.

Darius: I'm five-ten, but I tell everyone that I'm five-eight so that Nich will stop telling people he's five-eight.

Algernon: We did it. We won.
The Director: Slowly stands back up
Tabitha:
Algernon:
Tabitha: Starts to point
Algernon: No. We won. I'm not turning around to look at her. We won.

Sally: What are your talents, Clyde?
Clyde: Moving without making much noise, mechanical stuff, criminal and comic book history, yo mama jokes-
Sally: Yo mama jokes?
Clyde: Well, I'm an orphan, so they can't say anything back.
Sally:
Sally: Kid-

Hazel: Sure, I'm gonna make myself sick eating strawberry frosting by the spoonful but it's fucking good and I'm gonna do it and have no regrets.
Alyssa: I support this

Jane: I'm rescuing you.
Clyde: Cool, do you have a plan?
Jane: If I stop for long enough to think about what I'm actually doing I'm going to have a panic attack.
Everett: I'm taking command of this rescue.
Jane: Please.

Tabitha: You have no idea what I’m capable of!
Algernon: Oh, I’m terrified. Should I go get a step stool so you can look me in the eyes while you threaten me?

Jonah: I zoned out back in the forties and I never zoned back in.

Jackson: Are you on drugs?
Geneva: You and I both know that this job does not pay enough for me to have a drug problem.

Samuel: Punch me in the face.
Therese: Punch you in the face?
Samuel: Yes, punch me in the face. Didn't you hear me?
Therese: I always hear "punch me in the face" ​when you're speaking, but it's usually subtext.

Launce: You lying, cheating bastard!
Algernon: Oh yeah? You’re the fool who thinks you can get away with everything you do without facing consequences!
Shel, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Jackson: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Geneva: If you say 'addictionary' I swear to fucking God I will kill you
Jackson: I was gonna say 'high definition' but yours is better

Rista: You love me, right, Isaak?
Isaak: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.

Algernon: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying.

Esther, to Oleander: You're the worst person ever!
Oberon: Calm down, Essie. We'll get this sorted out.
Oberon, to Oleander: But you really are the worst. Ever.

Algernon, to Tabitha: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.

The Director: We’ve got to find a way to cut down on expenses. What can we live without?
Algernon: Oh, definitely Liesl.
Prof. Alden, nodding: Liesl for sure.

Prof. Alden: So what’s it like being related to Tabitha?
Algernon: Once I asked her for a glass of water when she was mad at me. She brought me a glass full of ice and told me to wait.

Ali: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are.
Lybra: It’s not a joke.
Lybra: sniffles
Lybra: I’m a legit snack.
–
Ali: Bye Lybra! Bye Maggie! Bye Jas! Bye Kera! Bye Lybra!
Maggie: You said ‘bye Lybra’ twice.
Ali: I like Lybra.
–
(the entire rescuing Ali scene essentially went like this:)

Ali: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Lybra: Several traffic violations.
Maggie: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Jas: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Kera: Also, that’s not our car.

–
Ali: You often use humor to deflect trauma
Lybra: Thank you
Ali: I didn't say that was a good thing
Lybra: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

New character edition:

Ella: send dudes.
James: … do you mean ‘send nudes’?
Ella: no, I’m literally in a fight. send backup.

Nina: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Ella: Several traffic violations.
James: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Catalina: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Ella: Also, that’s not our car.

Ella, to Catalina: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.

James: You lying, cheating bastard!
Nina: Oh yeah? You’re the fool who thinks you can get away with everything you do without facing consequences!
Catalina, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

Ella: I zoned out when I was a kid and I never zoned back in.

Catalina: I'm rescuing you.
Nina: Cool, do you have a plan?
Catalina: If I stop for long enough to think about what I'm actually doing I'm going to have a panic attack.
Ella: I'm taking command of this rescue.
Catalina: Please.

Catalina: How petty can you get?
Nina: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Nina: I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood, and I’m not afraid to leave the same way.

Ella: hey Nina when did you get your drivers license?
Nina: my what?
Catalina in the back seat banging on the windows: LET ME OUT

Ella: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Catalina: What do you think James will do for a distraction?
Ella: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
[Building explodes and several car alarms go off]
Ella: … or he could do that.

Catalina: This is the worst day ever.
Ella: Because James got shot?
Catalina: No because its a little humid- YES BECAUSE JAMES GOT SHOT.

Ella, speaking through tears: Maybe the real treasure was the traumas and trust issues we gained along the way
Nina: Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.

Ella: Are you going to help or are you too pretty?
Catalina: I’m too pretty.

Lydia: Send dudes.
Kitty: … do you mean ‘send nudes’?
Lydia: No, I’m literally in a fight. Send backup.

Jane: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Alyssa: Several traffic violations.
Clyde: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Hazel: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Everett: Also, that’s not our car.

Grady, to Niklos: You seem troubled. Of course, that’s a primary aspect of your personality, so I sometimes ignore it.

Dottie: You lying, cheating bastard!
Niklos: Oh yeah? You’re the bitch who thinks you can get away with everything you do without facing consequences!
Oona, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re going to stop playing now.

Kels: I came into this world screaming and covered in someone else’s blood, and I’m not afraid to leave the same way.

Jackson: Physically I'm here, but mentally I'm at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Leon: What do you think Aubrey will do for a distraction?
Kitty: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.
Building explodes and several alarms go off
Kitty: … or he could do that.

Clyde: This is the worst day ever.
Jane: Because you got shot?
Clyde: No, because it's a little humid–yes, because I got shot.

Hank, speaking through tears: Maybe the real victory was the trauma and trust issues we gained along the way
Niklos: Hell yeah, I’ll drink to that.

Richard, to Wesley: Your mother wouldn’t have wanted her only son to become a murderer.
Isalet, in the afterlife: Kill the bitch.

Mechanic: What seems to be the problem?
Henry: I don’t know exactly, but it all started when I was kid and I watched my parents die.
Mechanic: I meant with the car.
Henry: Oh, it makes a beep every time I slam my head into the steering wheel.

Isalet: Here is my wall of inspirational people.
Henry: Is that a picture of you?
Isalet: Yes, I am big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.

Isalet: Do I look like I put on makeup this morning to be judged by my personality?

Dae: Fuck.
Minji: We’ve got to work on your cursing.
Dae: Why? I’m pretty good at cursing already.

Edington: You know those things will kill you, right?
James, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.
Danielle, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.
Sarah: Nods while eating raw cookie dough

Melissa: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Melissa: I'm a reverse necromancer
Azumi: Isn't that just killing people?
Melissa: Ah, technicality

Daisy: I can't walk :(
Mycie: Then limp.