Cyrus: I have a lot of followers.
Quill: What app?
Cyrus: App? Oh, no, I'm the leader of a cult.
Anthony: I don’t judge people.
Also Anthony: Blocked. Blocked. You’re all blocked. None of you are free of sin. See you in hell.
Anthony: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Quill: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this!
Quill: We're doomed.
Jack: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Quill: I'm seventeen!
Jack: I said good, not long.
Ravina: How are you?
Milo: Do you really care?
Ravina: Not really.
Gerard: We're doomed.
Crispin: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Gerard: I'm eighteen!
Crispin: I said good, not long.
Milo: Oh, I never brag.
Ravina: You once called your face "proof of the gods' existence."
Kit: You don't have to be so humble.
Gerard: But seriously, I'm not so good at it.
Kit: Well you're the only one here who knows CPR and he's dying so-
Garzlan: No two snowflakes are the same. They are all unique, fleeting creations.
Milo, smashing together 20000 of them to throw at him: That’s beautiful.
Lune, to Sol: I'm sorry, who told you you're allowed to be so hot and annoying at the same time?
-
Silas (Sol but with memory loss): Yeah so I was found half dead in an alleyway and-
Leila: you were WHAT-
Clive: Catch me wearing booty shorts with "prohibited by the Hays Code" on the ass-
Tyler: Olive, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?
Olive: No, it’s mine.
Tyler: It… looks just like the one I have…
Olive: You don’t have one like this anymore.
Jonah : Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Ryan: Okay.
Jonah : And make out during the scary parts.
Ryan: Th-
Ryan: The scary parts.
Ryan: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Memphis: It just feels amazing to finally spread my legs and be the person that I am!
Shane:
Shane: 'spread your legs'?
Memphis, sweating: I said spr- spread my wings.
————————————–
Jack: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.
Dennis: You've been?
Jack: Once, in Monopoly.
————————————–
Jay: I’m doing what I can to jog your memory.
Eric: It’s jogging, I guess. Its tiddies are jiggling a little.
Jay: Nice
————————————–
Shane: You often use humour to deflect serious trauma.
Colton: Thank you.
Shane: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Colton: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.
————————————–
Jack: Tell Markus about the bird and the bees!
Dennis: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Jack: [Nodding intently]
————————————–
Eric: Scared?
Shane: Actually, years of trauma and fighting for my life against mental and physical abuse and isolation have pretty much burnt out my adrenaline response to situations like this and left me without the ability to feel normal reactions and emotions.
Eric: What?
Shane: I said you wish!
Grady: You often use humour to deflect serious trauma.
Clive: Thank you.
Grady: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Clive: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.
Lucius: Tell Aristotle about the bird and the bees.
Byron: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Lucius:….not exactly what I meant, but alright.
Clyde: So I’m bi-
Everett: Oh?
Clyde: -lingual, bilingual. I can speak two languages. English and French, you know?
Everett: Oh.
Clyde: Uh, I also like guys.
Everett: OH.
Why have a love triangle when it could be a polyam relationship instead?
Fortune: We're doomed.
Ezra: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Fortune: I'm thirteen!
Ezra: I said good, not long.
Jack: We're doomed!!
Eric: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Jack: I'm thirteen!!
Eric: I said good, not long.
Emily, to Mara: Because I love you. I think. No, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, I love you
Emily: Okay. I'm gonna go
Emily: Catch you later, silly billy
this could go both ways, they're so dumb and I love them
The best kind of couple tbh
Hex: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?
Gracelyn: You look tired.
Jesse: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Gracelyn: Were you doing something cool?
Jesse: Does worrying count?
Gracelyn: No.
Clem: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Gracelyn: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.
Gracelyn: We're doomed.
Jesse: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Gracelyn: I'm eighteen.
Jesse: I said good, not long.
Hex: How are you?
Jesse: Do you really care?
Hex: Not really.
Jesse: Jail's no fun, I'll tell you that.
Auria: You've been?
Jesse: Once, in Monopoly.
Clem: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
Jesse: Thank you.
Clem: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
Jesse: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.
Jesse: Tell Delphinia about the bird and the bees!
Gracelyn: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate
Jesse: [nodding intently]
Delphinia: Okay, I've called you all here because some of us don't seem to get along.
Gracelyn: Hex and I are literally the only ones you invited.
Jesse: Wow, who died and made you king?
Sybella: My dad.
Tabitha: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?
Hank: Hey, did you sleep okay?
Simon: No, but I drank four cups of green tea, so I think I can do this.
Byron: We're doomed.
Erik: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?
Byron: I'm twenty three.
Erik: I said good, not long.
Geneva: How are you?
Jackson: Do you really care?
Geneva: Not really.
Ceza: You often use humor to deflect serious trauma.
J.B.: Thank you.
Ceza: I didn’t say that was a good thing.
J.B.: What I’m hearing is you think I’m funny.
Grady: Okay, I've called you all here because some of us don't seem to get along.
Hank: Clive and I are literally the only ones you invited.
Douglas: Wow, who died and made you king?
Nathaniel: My brother.
Jane: Isn't it a bit dangerous?
Clyde: Jane, come on. I've been in a lot of unexpected predicaments before and I always escape unhurt.
Jane: …
Clyde: Okay, I sometimes escape unhurt.
Jane: …
Clyde: Alright, I escaped unhurt once, then got hurt on the way home.
The Director: This is a very powerful artifact. You'd be messing with some forces we don't fully understand.
Kay: That sounds like a dare to me!
Ms. Dollon: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Kay: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.
Carrie: Just be careful, Fox.
Nich: I'm always careful, Kit. It's everything around me that's careless.
Anton, on the phone: Just snap his kneecaps and he'll talk, I'm at a parent-teacher conference.
Anton: Anyways, you said Katya is enjoying finger painting? That's great.
Jackson: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and…
Geneva: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Jackson: Mama called the doctor and the doctor said…
Geneva: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
Alessandra: It feels like I'm always saving your ass!
Percy: It's an ass worth saving!
Maura, looking at a map: It’s a barren, featureless wasteland out there, isn’t it?
Vittoria: Other side, Mikkels.
Addie: I panic when people compliment me. What the hell am I supposed to say when people compliment me?
Kay: Great job on the exam today, Addie!
Addie, panicking: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Beck: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes.
Beck: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Beck: Please.
Casey: I mean, come on, a big crowded party, social interaction…this must be your worst nightmare.
Beck: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again.
An emotion: Pokes its head through the mountain of suppression Vittoria buried it under
Vittoria, beating it with a stick: Back! Back!
Grady: When did you get your driver's license?
Simon, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.
Clyde: I'm incredibly fast at math.
Everett: Alright, what's 30x17?
Clyde: 47
Everett: That's not even close.
Clyde: I said I was fast at math, not good at it.
Hazel: You don't have to be so humble.
Alyssa: But seriously, I'm not so good at it.
Hazel: Well you're the only one here who knows CPR and they're dying, so-
Samuel: I don’t judge people.
Also Samuel: Blocked. Blocked. You’re all blocked. None of you are free of sin. See you in hell.
J.B.: Oh, I never brag.
Carey: You once called your face "proof of a higher power's existence."
J.B.: It's not bragging if it's true.
Byron: How are you?
Oscar: Do you really care?
Byron: Not really.
Ethan: I’m going to hell.
Minnie: Probably.
Ethan: I'll pick you up?
Minnie: (nodding) Carpool.
~
Reese: Could you please go to the shop and get a carton of milk? If they have avocados get six.
Ethan, coming back from the store with six cartons of milk: They had avocados!
~
Sage, planning a group disguise: You cannot be Blake Bortles.
Ethan: Fine! Then I’ll be Jake-
Reese, under their breath: Don’t say Jortles.
Ethan: Jortles! And I work at the molotov cocktail department.
~
Minnie: The results are in, I’m afraid you have updog…
Reese: What’s updog?
Minnie: Ethan! Get in here, I told you I could do it!
~
Minnie: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.
Sage: No, that's not how you make cookies.
Ethan: FLOOR IT!!
Minnie: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?
Sage: yOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN-
Minnie: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!
Ethan: DO IT!
Sage: NO-
~
Reese: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Minnie: A babey.
Ethan: A cinnamon roll.
Sage: A sweetheart.
Reese:
Reese: …stop it.
~
Reese: What’s up with Minnie? She's been laying on the floor for like….an hour now?
Ethan: She's just a little overwhelmed.
Reese: Why?
Ethan: Sage smiled at her.
~
Sage: I don't follow the rules. I follow dogs on social media.
~
Minnie: Yeah I'm LGBT.
Minnie: cu(L)t leader.
Minnie: (G)od hates me personally.
Minnie: cow(B)oy hat.
Minnie: (sniffles) (T)rying my best.
~
Ethan: (pulls a glass a water from out of nowhere)
Reese: Where did you get that?
Ethan: My pocket.
Reese: How do you keep a glass of water in your pocket?
Ethan: Skills.
~
Minnie: We have fun, don’t we, Sage?
Sage: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.
Minnie: That's the spirit.
~
Reese: I think my guardian angel drinks.
Soul: Who doesn't want to be powerful? Who doesn't want blood sacrifices made in their name?
Tomorrow: How are you?
Feather: Do you really care?
Tomorrow: Not really.
Feather: At first I thought you were foolish and incompetent.
Tomorrow: My apologies for whatever misstep I may have taken to dispel that impression. It was an honest mistake, I swear.
Redwhisker: Do you guys sell happy meals?
Server: Yes.
Redwhisker: Yeah, can I get that without the meal?
Server:
Redwhisker: Please.
Soul: I mean, come on, a big crowded party, social interaction…this must be your worst nightmare.
Ebon: My worst nightmare's Canadian geese, try again.
Soul: I am darkness. I am an power. I am your worst nightmare. I could kill a man in more ways than you can imagine. I am the night. I am fury, I am a weapon, I am-
Shade: A baby.
Neve: A cinnamon roll.
Feather: A sweetheart.
Soul:
Soul: … stop it.
Memphis: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, but they're wrong because they've never been in Eric's arms.
Craig: Of course we haven't been in Eric's arms, he's fucking mental.
Markus: He's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into him and he pulled a gun on me.
————————————–
Colton: Which is correct: seven and five IS thirteen or seven and five ARE thirteen?
Shane: Neither.
Shane: it’s twelve.
Colton:
Colton: God fucking dammit I’m that gay
————————————–
Shane: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Dennis: As a friend
Shane: See a therapist.
————————————–
Markus: Are you ready for your birthday surprise?
Craig: Wow, that’s a big cake
Craig:
Craig: Jay’s inside it isn’t he.
The cake: No
⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦⫣⫦
Harris: I love it when I talk and no one listens to me.
Harris: Reminds me of home.
————————————–
Tyler, on the phone: Where are you?
Zack: I’m at the hospital.
Tyler: Are you okay?
Zack: No.
Tyler:
Zack:
Tyler:
Tyer: Would you care to elaborate?????
————————————–
Niner: No sleep again last night?
Harris: No! I can’t stop having these disturbing nightmares.
Niner: OK, you’ve gotta talk to a Percy about this.
Harris: No! Therapists are bad news, trying to get all up in people’s heads.
Niner: They helped me get over a lot of my emotional problems.
Harris, eyeing Niner: I disagree.
————————————–
Zack: Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls.
Gwyn: I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated.
Gwyn:
Gwyn: This is awesome.
OHHHH that one is 100% Sparrow, hold on:
Simon: You know, people say that Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, but they're wrong because they've never been in Sparrow’s arms.
Jett: Of course we haven't been in Sparrow's arms, she's hecking mental.
Cornelius: She's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into her and she pulled a gun on me.
Dottie: You know, people say that this city is the happiest place in the galaxy, but they're wrong because they've never been in Niklos' arms.
Clive: Of course we haven't been in Niklos' arms, he's absolutely crazy.
Grady: He's my friend, but one time I accidentally bumped into him and he pulled a knife on me.
Hazel: Which is correct: seven and five is thirteen or seven and five are thirteen?
Jane: Neither.
Jane: It’s twelve.
Hazel:
Hazel: Goddammit I’m that gay
Morgan: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Jackson: As a friend
Morgan: See a therapist.
Pietyr: I love it when I talk and no one listens to me.
Pietyr: Reminds me of home.
Hank: Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls.
Clive: I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated, this is awesome!
Levi, to Simon: When I was little, my brother would beg me to put him in a pillow case and swing him around.
Levi: I know it's insane, but the only reason I'm telling you now is because we're adults now and my parents can't lose custody of us.
Learning how to play never have I ever
Jane: Never have I ever failed a test.
Clyde: Okay, that's good. But try something a little more edgy, like never have I ever seen a dead body.
Everett: Takes a shot
Clyde: No, the idea is that you're supposed to take a shot every time you have done something.
Everett: Yes, I know.
Finley: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No, a summer's day is not a bitch
Finley: Do you want me to answer as a friend or a therapist?
Mara: As a friend
Finley: See a therapist.
Emily: in my room you will find a shoebox
Emily: in that box there is a guinea pig. that I said I would bury
Emily: so please deal with it
Lilly: there's a corpse in your room?!
Emily: alright guys, well thanks
Sage, on the phone: Where are you?
Minnie: I’m at the hospital.
Sage: Are you okay?
Minnie: No.
Sage:
Minnie:
Sage:
Sage: You wanna eLABORATE???
Ezra: Sometimes I have to remind myself that the British don’t measure time differently than us.
Puppet: They don’t???