time to bring some Stargate SG-1 formats into this because I just finished it and the dialogue is too good not to, feel free to use them as you please :)
Person V, taking a psych exam: "You are in the desert. You see a tortoise lying on his back in the hot sun. You recognize his plight but do nothing to help. Why?"
Person V: Hmm. Why?
Person V: [thinking]
Person V: Because I am also a tortoise!
Person T: If I were still loyal to them, you would know it.
Person S: Really?
Person T: It would become immediately apparent, as I would not hesitate to kill you where you sit.
Person O: I distinctly remember somebody saying, “We’re not gonna make it!” I think we made it.
Person J: I’m sorry I overreacted. At the time it looked very much like we weren’t going to make it.
Person O: Yes, well. Maybe next time we’ll just wait and see.
Person J: And blow the last chance I might ever have to be right?
Person J: We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Person B: No. The bridge is too well guarded.
Person T: In my culture, I would be well within my rights to dismember you.
[Person V is taking a lie detector test]
Person H: Try to relax. You’re looking very nice today, you know that?
Person V: Oh, thank you. You’re looking rather dashing yourself.
Person H: Thanks.
[the lie detector is signaling a false answer]
Person V: I mean, you look nice.
[no change]
Person V: I mean, not objectionable. I mean-
Person T: You are suggesting that Villain B attempted to gain control of the council in order to gain access to the Ancient device.
Person V: With the purpose of wiping out all life in the galaxy except his own little corner, of course.
Person M: That was Villain A’s plan.
Villain B: I never said it was original.
Person V: Listen, we’re not rejoining the fleet. You’re coming with me.
Villain Z: No. I can’t abandon my army.
Person V: It’s not your army.
Villain Z: Of course it is.
Person V: Well, as your mother I’m putting my foot down. You’re too young to have your own army.
Person D: Dinner tonight is my way of saying thank you. Thank you for proving me right when I said we could take a chance on you.
Person V: I don’t know what to say.
Person D: Just say what you were going to say before I interrupted.
Person V: Okay. I need to use the bathroom.
Villain T: How are you feeling?
Person V: A little dizzy. A little tired. And very very angry.
Villain T: That’s because the flashbacks you’re experiencing are dredging up some long-buried emotions that may be coloring your subconscious mind.
Person V: Yeah, I’m going to kill both of you in the most painful way possible.
Person V: I have no idea who I am, much less what I’m capable of. All I know for certain is that about an hour ago I was lost, hungry and drawn to the delightful aroma of the Blue Plate Special.
Person M: Where are we going?
Person V: Just drive.
Person M: You know I’m bleeding here.
Person V: Shut up.
Person M: I thought you fixed the life support!
Person V: I didn’t fix it. I just disabled the alarm.
also, this one’s way too long and specific to put into text form but it’s completely and totally hilarious if you want to watch it
