Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo
Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets

Auria: Some people are like slinkies. Not good for much, but it does bring a smile to your face to push them down the stairs.
Jesse: Auria, where's Hex?
Auria: :)

Hex: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
Gracelyn: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

Martell: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Martell: Is something burning?
Clem: Just my love for you.
Martell: Clemmie, the toaster is on fire-

Jesse: When did you get your driver's license?
Hex, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Gracelyn: Coffee is disgusting! I only drink the finest leaves!
Jesse: Tea is just pompous water. Real adults drink coffee.
Delphinia, drinking a mug of hot chocolate: Sometimes I like to add rainbow sprinkles.

Hex: Look, I’m not a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of a bar and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of town so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.
Jesse: Okay, that's really specific and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

Jesse: We came here to investigate, catch bad guys, and eat pie.
Delphinia: Not necessarily in that order.

Auria: Pick your battles. Pick… pick fewer battles than that. Put some battles back. That's too many.
Delphinia, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: But I NEED all these-

Gracelyn: I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?
Jesse: The McDonalds ice cream machine.
Gracelyn: …
Gracelyn: I mean the actual answer was silence but you're not wrong-

Jesse: They're not symptoms of depression, they're blues clues!

@Tidermelon

Rino: Pick your battles. Pick… pick fewer battles than that. Put some battles back. That's too many.
Lime, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: But I NEED all these!

@HighPockets

Clyde: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Violet: I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?
Alyssa: The McDonalds ice cream machine.
Violet: …
Violet: I mean the actual answer was silence but you're not wrong-

@Pickles

Emily: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Finley: I am broken when my name is spoken. What am I?
Emily: The McDonalds ice cream machine.
Finley: …
Finley: I mean the actual answer was silence but you're not wrong-

Sophie: They're not symptoms of depression, they're blues clues!

Emily: When have I done anything rash or irresponsible?
Mara: I keep a list. It's alphabetized.

Mara: When did you get your driver's license?
Emily, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Mara: Coffee is disgusting! I only drink the finest leaves!
Emily: Tea is just pompous water. Real adults drink coffee.
Finley, drinking a mug of hot chocolate: Sometimes I like to add rainbow sprinkles.

@HighPockets

Jonah: Physically, yes, I can fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

@requiemisback

May 26, 2021

may: i think juniper was right.
killian: i'm surprised he hasn't marched in here to say 'i told you so.'
luca: he wouldn't do that.
juniper: you're right, luca. for once in your life, you're 100% right. i would never say that.
juniper: [turns around, the shirt he’s wearing says 'juniper told you so' on the back]

luca: pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many.
delilah, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: but i need all these!

killian: they're not symptoms of depression, they're blues clues!

luca: killian, what the hell are you doing?
killian: i am practicing self care
luca: you're eating a candle
killian: SELF CARE

may: she was poetry, but he couldn’t read
juniper: his name was jared, he’s nineteen
killian: when his parents built a very strange machine
mariette: watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!
delilah: aaaay macarena!
luca: …horrible job, everyone

juniper: i’ll add on to your “a” to make “at.”
may: okay, i’ll add on to your “at” to make “rat.”
luca: i will add on to your “rat” to make “biostratigraphic.”
killian: [flips table]

@LiteralCyborg

May 27, 2021

Reese: (reading Shakespeare) He goeth down-
Ethan: I YELLETH TIMBER-
~
Sage: When you said 'magical in bed', this wasn't really what I-
Minnie: (pulling a playing card out of her sleeve) Is THIS your card?
Sage: Oh my god
~
Ethan: I think my problem is that I like seeing how red the flag can get.
~
Ethan: The sexual tension between two gas stations on the same intersection though-
Sage: I am so sick of this shit. Two gas stations can't even be on the same block without some walnut shipping them, but I can't find a single fic for Denny's/Applebees with Denny's bottoming.
Minnie: You're literally out of you mind if you think Denny's isn't a top.
Reese: You all make me want to walk into the ocean and never return.
~
Video game loading screen: The tactis screen allows you to-
Minnie: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF
~
Random jerk: (asking about Reese) But are they a guy or a girl? Like, what are they biologically?
Ethan: …They are human.

@HighPockets

May 27, 2021

Alyssa: Jay Gatsby's car was a real hit with the ladies.
Jonah: I know nothing about The Great Gatsby but I know you, and with that knowledge I am 100% sure that Jay Gatsby hits some lady with his car.

@jupiter-sun-of-sweater-town

Delphinia: She was poetry, but he couldn’t read
Jesse: His name was Jared, he’s nineteen
Gracelyn: When his parents built a very strange machine
Clem: Watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!
Hex: Aaaay macarena!
Auria: …horrible job, everyone

Delphinia: I’ll add on to your “a” to make “at.”
Jesse: Okay, I’ll add on to your “at” to make “rat.”
Gracelyn: i will add on to your “rat” to make “biostratigraphic.”
Jesse: [flips table]

Gracelyn: (reading Shakespeare) He goeth down.
Jesse: I YELLETH TIMBER-

Delphinia: I think I want some roller skates.
Jesse, an intellectual: Ah, vintage heelies.

Gracelyn: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium.
Hex, covered in ink: Maybe the squid was being a jerk.
Auria: …did you win?

Hex: I can't believe Martell came into my room pretending to be a doctor and diagnosed me with ugly.
Gracelyn: I can't believe you believed him.

Gracelyn: I joined the rebellion for the same reason people go the the zoo. Look at that.
Auria: smacks Hex
Gracelyn: Nature is beautiful.

Delphinia: So I thought we could play checkers and then say all the things we like about each other.
Kidnapper, crying: Jesse paid the ransom three days ago. Please just go home.

Hex: Jesse, I screwed up big time.
Jesse: Given your daily experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Delphinia: Why am I not a tomato?
Auria: Because your genetic code dictates that you're human.
Gracelyn: However, it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your DNA with a tomato.
Jesse: Wait, are you telling me that some people are 10% more tomato than others?

Delphinia: Do you think birds get sad because they don't have arms?
Auria: Well, do you get sad because you don't have wings?
Delphinia, choking up: Every single day.

Clem: What made you take an interest in playing so many instruments?
Jesse: Well, it started with my desire to the able to play All Star by Smash Mouth on every instrument known to man-
Clem: Your desire to do _{what now}

@knightinadream

Klaus: I have your son.
Adrian: I do not have a son.
Klaus: So who's this child that keeps following my commands and then asks for sweet pastries?
Adrian: Oh dear, you have Bla-
Klaus: Please take him back.

Darius: That's a nice rock.
Hugo: Thanks, Dahlia gave it to me.
Dahlia: I threw it at you.
Hugo: She's very sweet.

Hugo: I spend 30 minutes every evening telling a bedtime story to my cat.
Hugo: And then I go to work and everyone takes me seriously as a normal adult.

Adrian: If I was a gardener, I'd pull our tulips together.
Dahlia, blushing while shaking her head: Heh
Zachary, turning to Lucille: If you were a gardener, I'd be your hoe.
Lucille: …

Adrian: When I was your age, no one even had muskets.
Blazh: Yeah, well when you were my age, you had stuff we didn't have…
Blazh: Like dinosaurs and the Almighty Father.

@HighPockets

Jonah: Aw, babe, you had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing!
Violet: We're literally married.

@Starfast

Milo: Good morning cruel world
Keyla: Don't you mean goodbye?
Milo: No I meant good morning. This world may be cruel but i’m still kickin’

Garzlan: Aw, babe, you had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing!
Ravina: We're literally engaged.

Andor: Ara, I screwed up big time.
Ara: Given your daily experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Andor: Why am I not a tomato?
Ara: Because your genetic code dictates that you're human.
Ara: However, it should please you to know that you share 50-60% of your DNA with a tomato.
Andor: Wait, are you telling me that some people are 10% more tomato than others?

Garzlan: pick your battles. pick… pick fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many.
Milo, frantically trying to hold onto an armful of battles: but i need all these!

Frank: My heart is guarded, but like…very poorly, the kind of guards that would let 3 kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Gerard: Physically, yes, I can fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.

Ara: When did you get your driver's license?
Andor, starting the car: Oh, I didn't.

Andor: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Dallas: Croissants: dropped.
Holly: Chickens: looked at.
Jackie: Road: works ahead.
Andor: Shavacado: fre.
Ara: …
Ara: I speak three languages and I didn’t understand a single word of that.

@Tidermelon

Teacher: I’m heading to the bathroom, make sure to do your work! I’ll quiz you on question 2 when I get back!
Teacher: leaves
Hibiscus:
Hibiscus: Should we-
Flora: Yeah.
Hibiscus and Flora: simultaneously reach into their bookbags and pull out three whoopee cushions each

@HighPockets

Alyssa: Good morning cruel world
Violet: Don't you mean goodbye?
Alyssa: No I meant good morning. This world may be cruel but i’m still kicking.

Hazel: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

@threesacult

(i return!)

Cyrus: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough, or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

Dally: Ant, I screwed up big time.
Anthony: Given your daily experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.

Elliot: So, that’s the plan!
Perry: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean.
Elliot: No, go ahead, I want to hear it.
Perry: Your plan fucking sucks.
Elliot: That’s not constructive!

Quill: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.
Cyrus: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Quill: Yes :)
Anthony: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Quill: Anthony isn’t answering his phone.
Dally: I can try calling him.
Cyrus: Quill and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Anthony, picking up on the first ring: What the FUCK do you want Dally

Love: There is no future. There is no past. Don’t you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Dally:
Dally: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

@HighPockets

Clyde: I love you, Jane. You're the best thing that's happened to me.
Jane: I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you?
Clyde: Yeah.
Jane: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Victor: Geneva isn’t answering her phone.
Jackson: I can try calling her.
Henry: Victor and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-
Geneva, picking up on the first ring: What the FUCK do you want, Jackson-

Beck: There is no future. There is no past. Don’t you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.
Marisol:
Marisol: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

@requiemisback

delilah: name one time i haven’t acted professional
luca: you’re holding a juice box right now
delilah: it’s to stop me from spilling my juice.

luca: what is the one thing i told you not to do?
juniper: burn the house down.
luca: and what did you do?
juniper: i made dinner.
luca:
juniper:
luca:
juniper: and i burnt the house down.

juniper: i have a problem.
delilah: if it's harder than 2+2, i can't help.

may: ew. what kind of tea is this?
killian, proudly: i boiled gatorade.

juniper: when do you usually go to sleep?
killian: whenever i collapse is entirely up to the gods.

@SpookyScarySnoteleks

Hazel: Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

(okay so this actually got me curious and apparently if you keep the eggs cold, salmonella can't even grow, it's more the flour you have to worry about and for the most part it's e. Coli that's the problem)

@threesacult