forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

Barry: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Barry: BARRY! WOOLSWORTH!
Barry: Haha, I don't really. Just having a little fun.

Hank: Toria offered me her drink because I said I was thirsty.
Hank: I did not expect to take a sip of vodka at 6:30 in the morning-

Luci: Now that I've explained this math problem for the third time, do you understand the question?
Bee, voice cracking: Y-yes
Luci:….Are you lying to me?
Bee, on the verge of tears: Yes.
("And that, kids, is how I met your mother-")

Toria: Coughs violently
J.B.: Don't die!
Toria: Don't tell me what the fuck to do

Christopher: Happy Father's Day to the man who called the guards to find me when he didn't find me in my room sleeping in the middle of the night and thought I snuck out of the palace.
Christopher: I was downstairs in the kitchen eating breakfast and also 20. Cheers.

Poppy: Connor offered me his drink because I said I was thirsty.
Poppy: I did not expect to take a sip of vodka at 6:30 in the morning-

Connor: What a week, huh?
Vicky: Connor, it's Wednesday.
Connor: We sure had quite a year.
Vicky: It's May.

Niel: Now that I've explained this math problem for the third time, do you understand the question?
Poppy, voice cracking: y-yes
Niel: …
Niel: Are you lying to me?
Poppy, on the verge of tears: Yes.

Connor: [coughs violently]
Connie: Don't die!
Connor: Don't tell me what the fuck to do

Poppy: i could strangle you.
Connor: you can't reach high enough.
Poppy: you've sunken so low that i can.

killian: oh i'm the coward?
may: yes
killian: i out-pizza'd the hut, what did you do?

luca, watching the news: killian, you wanna tell me why the entire block is up in flames?
killian, covered in soot: global warming?

killian: costco is amazing but if a centaur were roaming the aisles it would be even greater
delilah: what’s costco
killian: a place americans go every month to kill each other over a large tub of nutella

luca: that quote is practically begging to be taken out of context.
juniper: "i'm getting bullied by my dead wife" or "yeets the soul back into the body"?

killian, to juniper: i hope you trip at least twice a day

juniper: i'm over here just spacing out like "who named these geese and how come they're the only birds that honk?"
delilah: elephants honk too dumbass
luca: are elephants birds?

delilah: what if a garden gnome is just the larval stage of a wizard
luca:
luca: del, please go to sleep, it's 3am

Anton, watching the news: Katya, do you want to tell me why the entire block is up in flames?
Kels, covered in soot: Global warming?

Esther, to Oleander: I hope you trip at least twice a day.

Harper: I'm over here just spacing out like "who named these geese and how come they're the only birds that honk?"
Casey: Uh, elephants honk too.
Beck: Casey. Casey. Do you think elephants are birds?

methys: [coughs violently]
zephyr: don't die!
methys: don't tell me what the fuck to do

razzi: now that i've explained this math problem for the third time, do you understand the question?
methys, voice cracking: y-yes
razzi:
razzi: are you lying to me?
methys, on the verge of tears: yes.

razzi: we have a big problem.
zephyr: we should copyright that phrase.

zephyr: just follow my lead. it'll be fun!
methys: please don't let those words be carved on my tombstone.

methys: write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a pun and a subtle warning that i'll be back

zephyr: calm down please
methys: no <3

methys: what doesn't kill me should run, because now i'm fucking pissed.

Kels: Coughs violently
Tabitha: Don't die.
Kels: Do not tell me what to do.

Jon: We have a big problem.
Oliver: We should copyright that phrase.

Nich: Just follow my lead, it'll be fine.
Samuel: Please don't let those words be carved on my tombstone.

Oleander: Write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a pun and a subtle warning that I'll be back.

Tereza: What doesn't kill me should run, because now I'm pissed.

Hey, new format I thought up!:

Person 1: Here comes the train! Choo, choo!
Person 2: You mean as soon as that spoonful of split peas enters that kid’s mouth, there’ll be hot coals on her tongue, dirt-coated wheels fouling her mouth, and stacks of smoke slowly exterminating her from the inside?
Person 1:
Person 1: Here comes the monorail! Choo, choo!

razzi: here comes the train! choo, choo!
methys: you mean as soon as that spoonful of split peas enters that kid’s mouth, there’ll be hot coals on her tongue, dirt-coated wheels fouling her mouth, and stacks of smoke slowly exterminating her from the inside?
razzi:
razzi: here comes the monorail! choo, choo!

zephyr: [texts methys at 3am]
methys: [replies]
zephyr: woah there! what are you doing up this late? go to bed! this isn't healthy.

methys: your mom said i have four days to live
zephyr: you're sick???
methys: no she just doesn't like me

zephyr: when i was small–
methys: [snorts]
methys: "was"

Dorothea: oh i'm the coward?
Lilith: yes
Dorothea: i out-pizza'd the hut, what did you do?

Dorothea, watching the news: Axelin, you wanna tell me why the entire block is up in flames?
Axelin, covered in soot: global warming?

Dorothea, to Annalise: i hope you trip at least twice a day

Marian, holding baby Lucia: Here comes the train! Choo, choo!
Beatrice: You mean as soon as that spoonful of split peas enters that kid’s mouth, there’ll be hot coals on her tongue, dirt-coated wheels fouling her mouth, and stacks of smoke slowly exterminating her from the inside?
Marian:
Marian: Here comes the monorail! Choo, choo!

Therese: When I was small–
Nich: Snorts
Nich: "Was"

Dorothea, babysitting a demon: here comes the train! choo, choo!
Demon Child: you mean as soon as that spoonful of split peas enters my mouth, there’ll be hot coals on my tongue, dirt-coated wheels fouling my mouth, and stacks of smoke slowly exterminating me from the inside?
Dorothea:
Dorothea: here comes the monorail! choo, choo!

Axelin: Lilith said i have four days to live
Dorothea: you're sick???
Axelin: no she just doesn't like me
Dorothea: oh, ok then

Axelin: when i was small–
Dorothea: [snorts]
Dorothea: "was"

Reese: I think you might have PTSD.
Minnie: Yeah, proficient talent for sucking diCK-
Reese: You're a lesbian Minnie. You are literally the least qualified person for that task.
Minnie: I just don’t think you understand how funny that was
~
(Ethan's sitting on Reese's back and being flown through the air)
Ethan:
Reese:
Ethan:
Reese:
Ethan: I cAN SHOW YOU THE WOOORLD-
Reese: Stop.
Ethan: SHINING, SHIMMERING, SPLEEEENDID-
Reese: You promised.
Ethan: TELL ME PRINCESS, WHEN DID YOU LAST LET YOURSELF DECIIIIIIDE?
Reese: I was ten. It decided on justice.
~
Arthur, helping Minnie w/ math homework: Alright, hold up eleven fingers.
Minnie:
Arthur:
Minnie: aRTHUR I ONLY HAVE TEN-
~
Ethan: Lemme just play Devil's advocate here-
Sage: Self-advocating? Bold move.
Ethan, on the verge of tears: Thanks
~
Lorelai: The only reason I brought anyone with me to this haunted house was so I could punch them in the face in a crowded black room without anyone knowing it was me.
~
(On a call w/ Arthur)
Minnie: Seriously, I really appreciate the new suit.
Arthur: It's no problem, kid. But shouldn't you be getting to your club-thing?
Minnie: Oh, right! Bye, love you-
Arthur:
Minnie:
Arthur: Love you too.
Minnie: (Crashes through window) dAD
~
(Everyone's name in Ethan's phone)
Minnie: Sparky sparky boom man
Sage: A furry
Reese: Robocop <3
Arthur: Dad, not daddy
(Ethan's name in literally everyone's phone)
Ethan: Eef
~
Minnie: Sure, I don't really get a healthy amount of sleep like SOME PEOPLE do, but can they do tHIS (Stands up, blacks out for a second)
~
Sage: Hey, did you hear that gay marriage got legalized?
Minnie: Neat dude, it's about time.
Sage:
Minnie:
Sage: D'you… wanna… get gay married?
Minnie: Yeah, sure, lets go

Kate: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Peter: Self-advocating? Bold move.
Kate: Fuck off.

Geneva: The only reason I brought anyone with me to this haunted house was so I could punch them in the face in a crowded black room without anyone knowing it was me.

Hank: Hey, did you hear that gay marriage got legalized?
Clive: Neat. It's about time.
Hank: You know, speaking of "about time"…
Clive:
Hank: D'you wanna…get gay married?
Clive: I thought you'd never ask-

Estella: Hey, did you hear that gay marriage got legalized?
Peregrine: Neat. It's about time.
Estella: You know, speaking of "about time"…
Peregrine:
Estella: D'you wanna…get gay married?
Peregrine: I thought you'd never ask-

Estella: We have a big problem.
Peregrine: We should copyright that phrase.

Estella: Just follow my lead, it'll be fine.
Peregrine: Please don't let those words be carved on my tombstone.

Estella: Sees a ladybug
Estella: Tips imaginary hat
Estella: Ma'am

Estella: No, trust me. I have the leg strength of a killer whale!
Peregrine: Whales don't have legs.

Peregrine: Estella, we tried things your way,
Estella: No, we didn’t.
Peregrine: I did in my head and it didn't work.

Dean: Hey babe, guess what this jacket is made of?
Simon: We've been dating for years, Dean, I know it's boyfriend materi–
Dean, getting down on one knee: Wrong, it's husband material.

Julianna: I know everyone sees Luci as the edgy villain dude just because he smokes and kills people or whatever.
Julianna: But I do crazy things that can result in bad health too.
Julianna: eats raw cookie dough
Julianna: See I'm the real bad boy.

Sarah: Why did yo guys get arrested?
CJ: We don't know!
Dean: We didn't do anything wrong.
Simon: We got pulled over and when the officer said "papers", CJ yelled "scissors" and Dean drove off.

Henry: I have been hiding for too long. It's time I get out there and spread my-
Dean: Legs.
Simon:
CJ:
Henry: Wings. Wings, Dean.

Logan: I brought reinforcements.
CJ: You brought Dean?
Logan: Uh, no, but I brought the next best thing.
enter Henry
Henry: Hey.
CJ: You brought Henry? The next best thing would have been Simon!
Henry: Normally, I'd be offended, but you're not wrong.

killian: i have an idea.
luca: a good idea?
killian: let's not get ahead of ourselves.

juniper: i'm not ugly, just aesthetically challenged.

killian: do not come over to my house. if the house is on fire you may knock once, if i don’t answer assume i set the fire and i want to burn to death.

killian: yum, thanks!
kidnapper: [puts more tape over his mouth] i said stop eating it.

luca: how did none of you hear what i just said?
delilah: i've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
juniper: i got distracted halfway through.
may: ignoring you was a conscious decision.

killian: jokes on you, a fistfight CAN be romantic.

Jerry: Hey, did you hear that gay marriage got legalized?
Axelin: Neat. It's about time.
Jerry: You know, speaking of "about time"…
Axelin:
Jerry: D'you wanna…get gay married?
Axelin: I thought you'd never ask-

Axelin: We have a big problem.
Dorothea: We should copyright that phrase.

Lilith: Just follow my lead, it'll be fine.
Axelin: Please don't let those words be carved on my tombstone.

Axelin: Sees a ladybug
Axelin: Tips imaginary hat
Axelin: Ma'am

Dorothea: No, trust me. I have the leg strength of a killer whale!
Annalise: Whales don't have legs.

Lilith: Axelin, we tried things your way,
Axelin: No, we didn’t.
Lilith: I did in my head and it didn't work.

Alexi: How old are you really?
Atticus: Forever eighteen, dude!
Alexi:
Atticus:
Alexi:
Atticus: I turn 24 next month.

Bane: I don't really know how to do anything.
Bane: But I'm bi.
Bane: I'm so bi.
Bane: So I think I'm just going to take that and run.

Bane: What the hell does the letter m stand for in "smexy"?
Fennec: M stands for slope.
Bane: Thanks.

Sparrow: What if Mike was short for Micycle?
Thaddeus: Y'know, sometimes I wish the 2012 apocalypse really happened.

Caliga: How do tall people sleep? Wouldn't their feet go right past the blanket?
Geobi: Cal, it's three in the morning.
Caliga: You can't sleep?
Geobi:
Caliga: Is it the blanket?

Atticus: Tell me something I don’t know.
Alexi: The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared.
Atticus:…what the fuck?

Kora: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Rune: We need to distract these guys.
Sparrow: Leave it to me.
Sparrow: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Bax, Sapphire, and the King: [Immediately begin arguing]
Thaddeus, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Sparrow: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Bane: Several traffic violations.
Rune: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Thaddeus: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Fennec: Also, that’s not our car.

Daedra: You're a loose cannon, Caliga.
Caliga: No I'm not. I'm a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?
Geobi: I think you play by your own rules.
Aarion: No way, she thinks rules were made to be broken.
Solizha: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.
Caliga: Nah, I'm just a reckless renegade. Hyo is a loose cannon.
Hyo: [Smashes a chair]

Hank: I don't really know how to do anything.
Hank: But I'm bi.
Hank: I'm so bi.
Hank: So I think I'm just going to take that and run.

Bee: What does the letter m stand for in "smexy"?
Luci: M stands for slope.
Bee: Thanks.

Vera: How do tall people sleep? Wouldn't their feet go right past the blanket?
Sybil: Vera, it's three in the morning.
Vera: You can't sleep?
Vera:
Vera: Is it the blanket?

Vittoria: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Annalise: I don't really know how to do anything.
Annalise: But I'm bi.
Annalise: I'm so bi.
Annalise: So I think I'm just going to take that and run.

Axelin: What does the letter m stand for in "smexy"?
Dorothea: M stands for slope.
Axelin: Thanks.

Axelin: How do tall people sleep? Wouldn't their feet go right past the blanket?
Lilith: Axe, it's three in the morning.
Axelin: You can't sleep?
Axelin:
Axelin: Is it the blanket?

Mera-May: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

Yo, I made a new template for anyone who wants it! It’s not the best, and it could use some tweaking, but I hope you guys can find some use out of it. :)

Person 1: points to Person 2 What’s in your lunch?
Person 2: Macaroni, a broccoli salad, and a cookie.
Person 1: points to Person 3 What’s in your lunch?
Person 3: Five strawberries, four Ritz crackers and a sandwich.
Person 1: points to Person 4 What’s in your lunch?
Person 4: Your brother. He was picked up today at 7:45 AM after you left for school. We will return him to you with no recollection of the incident in exchange for you not bothering me about my lunch for the rest of my days.
Everyone:

Holly: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds really fun if you don't know what either of those things are.

Ara: Tell me something I don’t know.
Andor: The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared.
Ara:…what the fuck?

Andor: What if Mike was short for Micycle?
Ara: Y'know, sometimes I wish the 2012 apocalypse really happened.

Milo: i have an idea.
Ravina: a good idea?
Milo: let's not get ahead of ourselves.

Ara: Andor, we tried things your way,
Andor: No, we didn’t.
Ara: I did in my head and it didn't work.

Milo: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Ravina: Self-advocating? Bold move.
Milo: Fuck off.

Ara: The only reason I brought anyone with me to this haunted house was so I could punch them in the face in a crowded black room without anyone knowing it was me.

Milo: write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a pun and a subtle warning that i'll be back.

Leaoni: Tell me something I don’t know.
Trace: The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared.
Leaoni:…what the fuck.

Kara: Let me just play devil's advocate here-
Seb: Self-advocating? Bold move.
Kara: Fuck off.

Alune: We have a big problem.
Leaoni: We should copyright that phrase.

Varian: I brought reinforcements.
Leaoni: You brought Alune?
Varian: Uh, no, but I brought the next best thing.
enter Aris
Aris: Hey.
Leaoni: You brought Aris? The next best thing would have been Ren!
Aris: Normally, I'd be offended, but you're not wrong.

Varian: Write "nothing is set in stone" on my grave as both a pun and a subtle warning that I'll be back.

Jackson: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds really fun if you don't know what either of those things are.

Ethan: Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay sounds really fun if you don't know what either of those things are.
Arthur: ????
~
Ethan: Some people are like slinkies.
Ethan: Not good for much, but it does bring a smile to your face to push them down the stairs.
Sage: Ethan, where's Reese?
Ethan: :)
~
Minnie: (gets a sunburn)
Sage: I'm gonna fight the fucking sun.
~
Minnie: Whenever I see a frog on a lilypad I'm like yeah man… that's exactly where you're supposed to be
~
Minnie + Sage + Ethan: (looking at a picture of the earth)
Minnie: Ugh, I hate how I look in this photo.
Sage: I was in the bathroom, dammit!
Ethan: I think I blinked
~
Reese: If you think about it in the shower, you're not over it.
Minnie: Apparently I'm not over The Song of Achilles.
Sage: Is anyone truly over that?
Ethan: (reading TSOA and crying) thEY SHOULDN'T BE
~
Reese: Look, I'm not saying that demoting the planet Pluto, which is named after the Roman god of death, stoked the rage of the lord of the underworld and brought his vengeful fury and retribution down on us and that's why the world's gone to shit, but…
Reese: (gestures at everything)