forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

tune

Victor: Jellyfish can survive for six hundred million years without a brain.
Geneva: A ray of hope for Jackson.

Hazel: so I'm in trouble now because I am a "liability" and "reckless" and "Hazel".
Hazel: that's just my name but you should've heard my mom say it.

Someone: So your ethnicity is Puerto Rican
Estrella: Yes
Someone: Do you speak any Spanish?
The White Author: 😬
Estrella: Yes
Someone: Can you say something in Spanish?
Estrella: No
Someone: …Ok.

Joey: I'm pretty good at improvising weapons. Once I stabbed a guy with a brick.
Ira: How?
Joey: I don't know; it just happened.

Mabel: What are you writing?
Ira: League wants to know what weapons I have. Telling them that's private.
Mabel: This just says "try anything and you'll find out."
Ira: Mmmhmm.

Mabel: It's so cold.
Joey: Here, have my jacket.
Maisy: Yeah, it is really cold out here.
Cameron Alexis: Geez, Swift, I don't control the weather.

Joey: Reason for wanting a gun?
Ira: To shoot people.
Joey: No.
Ira: It's the truth.

Mabel: Have a good day!
Joey: That's asking for a lot since I haven't had a good day in years.

Joey: When the League's not around, anything is legal!

Shea: I'm pretty good at improvising weapons. Once I stabbed a guy with a brick.
Crimson: How?
Shea: I don't know; it just happened.

Harry: What are you writing?
Ray: Donovan Enterprises wants to know what weapons Evangeline Base has. Telling them that's private.
Harry: This just says "fuck around and find out."
Ray: Mmmhmm.

Avon: It's so cold.
Dahlia: Here, have my jacket.
Ransom: Yeah, it is really cold out here.
Killian: Fuck, Ransom, I don't control the weather!

Grace: Reason for wanting a gun?
Rhyda: To shoot people.
Grace: No.
Rhyda: It's the truth.

Grace: Have a good day!
Drew: That's asking for a lot since I haven't had a good day in years.

Midge: When the police aren't around, anything is legal!

Ira: Started seeing someone.
Joey: As in dating or hallucinations?
Ira: Court-mandated therapy.

Oleander: Looks like I can't manipulate, mansplain, manwhore my way out of this one.
Oleander:…manslaughter it is.

Mina: Well, that went badly. Murder wasn't on today's agenda.
Henry: Murder isn't on anyone's agenda.
Mina: No, it's on mine, just not until tomorrow.

Keyla: I owe you a favour, and it can be anything you want.
Taven: Anything?
Keyla: Yeah, anything.
Taven: Can you explain to me how a fridge works? Like how does it stay cold?

Matthew: Becoming older than 12 years old was the biggest mistake of my life.

Caleb: We're having the best time, aren't we?
Gerard: I wish I was dead.

Keyla: Hey is Milo sleeping or dead?
Ravina: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Keyla: Yeah, so did I.
Milo: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Ara: when i first met you, I thought you were weird… and annoying.
Andor: And…?
Ara: And you are.

Milo: Looks like I can't manipulate, mansplain, manwhore my way out of this one.
Milo:…manslaughter it is.

Kit: Have a good day!
Matthew: That's asking for a lot since I haven't had a good day in years.

Crispin: When the police aren't around, anything is legal!

Hazel: Becoming older than a second was the biggest mistake of my life.

au of my own story
Anya: Hey is Nancy sleeping or dead?
Hazel: Hopefully dead, I hated his guts.
Anya: Yeah, so did I.
Nancy: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Nancy: Looks like I can't Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss my way out of this one.
Her brother who’s never mentioned:…manslaughter it is.

Her brother (who I should name) again: When the police aren't around, anything is legal!

Felix: Looks like I can't manipulate, mansplain, manwhore my way out of this one.
Felix: …Manslaughter it is!

Claire: Becoming older than a second was the biggest mistake of my life.

Dally: My heart is guarded but, like…very poorly. The kind of guard that would let three kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Quill: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Anthony: You’re too young to have enemies.
Quill: You don’t even know.

Anthony: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Felix: Any plans for tonight?
Anthony: No.
Felix: Ha, loser.

Quill, whispering: Can I tell them my real name?
Jacques, whispering back: Do not.
Quill: Uh, I'm…Jacques Device.
Jacques: The one time she pronounces my name correctly…

Felix: Looks like I can't manipulate, mansplain, manwhore my way out of this one.
Felix: …Manslaughter it is!

Hammy: Becoming older than fourteen was the biggest mistake of my life.

Drew: My heart is guarded but, like…very poorly. The kind of guard that would let three kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Cagney: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Paisley: You’re too young to have enemies.
Cagney: You don’t even know.

Rhyda: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Killian: Any plans for tonight?
Hammy: No.
Killian: Ha, loser.

Jack, whispering: Can I tell them my real name?
Kane Arachnid, whispering back: Do not.
Jack: Uh, I'm… Mister Kane Arachnid.
Kane Arachnid: The one time he gets my name right…

Algernon: Looks like I can't manipulate, mansplain, or manwhore my way out of this one.
Algernon: Manslaughter it is!

Beck: Becoming older than a second was the biggest mistake of my life.

Tiodore: My heart is guarded but, like…very poorly. The kind of guard that would let three kids in a trench coat into an R-rated movie.

Xenodice: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.
Lydia: You’re too young to have enemies.
Xenodice: You don’t even know.

Geneva: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.

Barry: Any plans for tonight?
Tobias: No.
Barry: Ha, loser.

Daisy, whispering: Can I tell them my real name?
Ekaterine, whispering back: Do not.
Daisy: Uh, I'm…Ekaterine Soroka.
Ekaterine: The one time someone pronounces my name correctly…

(me 🤝 ilias)
(mansplain manipulate manwhore manslaughter Felixes)

(🤝🤝🤝)

Buck: Looks like I can't manipulate, mansplain, or manwhore my way out of this one.
Buck: Manslaughter it is!

Thae, whispering: Can I tell them my real name?
Leilson, whispering back: Do not.
Thae: Uh, I'm…Jasper Leilson Murfi
Leilson: The one time she remembers the whole thing–

Buck: So I'm in trouble now because I am a "liability" and "reckless", and "Buck."
Buck: That's just my name but you should've heard Leilson's tone.

Thae: treat others how you'd like to be treated.
Buck: Killed with zero hesitation!!
Thae: n o-

Buck: Started seeing someone.
Leilson: As in dating or hallucinations?
Buck: Court-mandated therapy.

Joey: How about you, Sparhawk? D'you have any skeletons in your closet?
Ira: Literal or figurative?
Joey: You know, the fact that I have to specify-

Elliot: How about you, Claire? D'you have any skeletons in your closet?
Claire: Literal or figurative?
Elliot: You know, the fact that I have to specify-

Quill: Guess what I’m doing tomorrow?
Elliot: Becoming a productive member of society?
Quill: El. Come on.

Cyrus: 'I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!' Well, I would. Pussy.

Emmett: What the hell did you do this time?
Quill: …
Emmett: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Daisy: So where are you all from?
Quill: Helston.
Daisy: Sorry.
Quill, a little louder: We're from Helston.
Daisy: Oh, no, I heard, I'm just sorry.

Gia: Guess what I’m doing tomorrow?
Babs: Becoming a productive member of society?
Gia: Babs. Come on.

Tereza: 'I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!' Well, I would. Pussy.

Robert: What the hell did you two do this time?
Jane and Clyde: …
Robert: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Lee: So where are you from?
Sadie: Ewing.
Lee: Sorry.
Sadie, a little louder: I'm from Ewing.
Lee: Oh, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.

Morgan: How about you, Lance? D'you have any skeletons in your closet?
Lance: Literal or figurative?
Morgan: You know, the fact that I have to specify-

Shea: Guess what I’m doing tomorrow?
Rhyda: Becoming a productive member of society?
Shea: Rhy. Come on.

Bruce: 'I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!' Well, I would. Pussy.

Tania: What the hell did you do this time?
Kane Arachnid, Elias, and Jack: …
Tania: You're not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

Dahlia: So where are you from?
Midge: Mississippi.
Dahlia: Sorry.
Midge, a little louder: I'm from Mississippi.
Dahlia: Oh, no, I heard, I'm just sorry.

Ara: We found the person who stole your identity.
Dallas: You did?
Ara: He was crying and eating cheetos in his car.
Dallas: Oh, he really went for it, huh?

Alden: Matthew what did I tell you about calling Alexander a devil?
Matthew: That it's offensive to the devil.

Andor: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!
Andor, sprays hairspray into his mouth
Andor: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Kit: How about you, Crispin? D'you have any skeletons in your closet?
Crispin: Literal or figurative?
Kit: You know, the fact that I have to specify-

Milo: 'I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy!' Well, I would. Pussy.

Kit: So where are you from?
Caleb: Farrowin
Kit: Sorry.
Caleb, a little louder: I'm from Farrowin.
Kit: Oh, no, I heard, I'm just sorry.

Quill: I'm too young for my parents to let me travel by myself and too old to eat off the kids' menu. What a stupid fucking age I am.

Quill: Hey, Mr. Croce! How are you today?
Anthony: Please don't make me think about my own life.

Felix: Don't worry, I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing. Everything will be fine!
Anthony: How can you still say that?
Felix: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Claire: So are you and that Dame guy going out or what?
Anthony: He's my rival.
Claire: You're avoiding the question.

Anthony, walking into his apartment: Hello, people who do not live here.
Dally: Hey, detective!
Quill: Hi :)
Elliot: What's up?
Claire: Hey.
Anthony: Quill, I gave you keys to my place for emergencies only.
Quill: We were out of Doritos!

Cora: I'm too young for my parents to let me travel by myself and too old to eat off the kids' menu. What a stupid fucking age I am.

Dally: Hey, Mr. Poole! How are you today?
Joey: Please don't make me think about my own life.

Charley: Don't worry, I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing. Everything will be fine!
Brinna: How can you still say that?
Charley: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Felicity: So are you and that van Arbor guy going out or what?
Freddy: He's an asset for the case.
Felicity: You're avoiding the question.

Mabel: What do you call breaking and entering?
Ira: A hobby.
Mabel:
Ira:…that I do not engage in.

Ira: Then I jumped from the second story unscathed.
Mabel: You are bleeding in a dozen different places.
Ira: I jumped from the second story slightly scathed.

Prof. Alden: Penny for your thoughts?
Algernon: My thoughts are worth ten dollars apiece.

Victor: What is your cat's name?
Calvin: Merv.
Victor, to Max: Try "Merv".
Max, on Calvin's computer: It didn't work.
Calvin:
Victor: What is your favorite number?

Michael: Ace of spades.
Jacob: Uno, draw four.
Barry: Pikachu, I choose you!
Tobias: What game are you even playing?
Eliza, loading a gun: Russian Roulette.

Mabel: Did you eat my powdered donuts?
Ira, muffled: No.
Mabel: Then what's that white powder on your coat?
Ira:…cocaine. Spilled on it during raid last night.

Emmett: What do you call breaking and entering?
Quill: A hobby.
Emmett:
Quill: …that I do not engage in.

Quill: What's your cat's name?
Anthony: Colonel Mustard.
Quill, to Elliot: Try "ColonelMustard".
Elliot, on Anthony's computer: It didn't work.
Anthony:
Quill: What's your favorite number?

Felix: Penny for your thoughts?
Elliot: My thoughts are worth ten dollars apiece.

Sybil: I really like this whole ‘good cop, bad cop’ act you guys have going on.
Freddy: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Ozzie isn’t

Eshaal: I'm too young for my parents to let me travel by myself and too old to eat off the kids' menu. What a stupid fucking age I am.

Sparrow: Hey, Thad! How are you today?
Thaddeus: Please don't make me think about my own life.

Eshaal: Don't worry, I'm sure you know exactly what you're doing. Everything will be fine!
Selene: How can you still say that?
Eshaal: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Jeb: So are you and Shea going out or what?
Bianca: She's an asset for the mission.
Jeb: You're avoiding the question.

Avon: What do you call breaking and entering?
Midge: A hobby.
Avon:
Midge: …that I do not engage in.

Midge: Then I jumped from the second story unscathed.
Hammy: You are bleeding in a dozen different places.
Midge: I jumped from the second story slightly scathed.

Bruce: Penny for your thoughts?
Vaughn: My thoughts are worth ten dollars apiece.

Tobias: What is your cat's name?
Millie: Bel.
Tobias, to Eshaal: Try "Bel".
Eshaal, on Millie's computer: It didn't work.
Millie:
Tobias: What is your favorite number?

Felix: Ace of spades.
Abel: Uno, draw four.
Shea: Pikachu, I choose you!
Paisley: What game are you even playing?
Rhyda, loading a gun: Russian Roulette.

Dahlia: Did you eat my powdered donuts?
Midge, muffled: No.
Dahlia: Then what's that white powder on your coat?
Midge: …cocaine.

Giles: I really like this whole ‘good cop, bad cop’ act you guys have going on.
Jack: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m nice and Kane Arachnid isn’t.

Quill: Wow, Mr. Croce looks intense! I wonder what he's listening to.
Felix: Oh, probably something pretentious and classical.
Anthony's headphones: Blasting "Toxic" by Britney Spears

Anthony: We're going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Dally, to Quill: Yeah, kid. Listen to the detective.
Anthony: I was talking to you.

Anthony: Kid, do you know why I hired you?
Quill: I assumed you lost a bet.

Felix: It's amazing how insignificant humanity really is.
Felix: Not me, though. I'm the main character.

Dally: I'll have a beer and she'll have a Capri-Sun.
Quill: Dally, I'm not a kid.
Quill: I can order my own Capri-Sun.

Elliot: Love isn't real.
Ophelia: You’re literally making Valentine's cards for all your friends right now.
Elliot, pointing a glue gun at her: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Anthony: Felix, we can't let you do this.
Felix: And how exactly do you plan to stop me?
Quill: We're gonna call Chell.
Felix:

Dally, waking up: Where am I?
Anthony, sarcastically: Heaven.
Dally: Oh.
Dally: Didn't think either of us would be here, to be honest.

Eshaal: Wow, Vaughn looks intense! I wonder what he's listening to.
Tobias: Oh, probably something incomprehensible and metal.
Vaughn's headphones: [Blasting "Take On Me" by A-ha]

Emily: We're going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
Tania, to Dominic: Yeah, kid. Listen to the detective.
Emily: I was talking to you.

Tania: Do you know why I hired you?
Elias: I assumed you lost a bet.

Shea: It's amazing how insignificant humanity really is.
Shea: Not me, though. I'm the main character.

Cecil: I'll have a beer and he'll have a Capri-Sun.
Vaughn: Dad, I'm not a kid.
Vaughn: I can order my own Capri-Sun.

Paisley: Love isn't real.
Grace: You’re literally making Valentine's cards for all your friends right now.
Paisley, pointing a glue gun at her: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Grace: Felix, we can't let you do this.
Felix: And how exactly do you plan to stop me?
Rhyda: We're gonna call Drew.
Felix:

Kane Arachnid: Where am I?
Jack, sarcastically: Heaven.
Kane Arachnid: Oh.
Kane Arachnid: Didn't think either of us would be here, to be honest.

Harper: Wow, Beck looks intense! I wonder what he's listening to.
Casey: Probably something pretentious and classical.
Beck's headphones: Blasting "Jesus of Suburbia" by Green Day

Ceza: We're going out in public. I expect you to be on your best behavior.
J.B., to Carey: Yeah, kid. Listen to the general.
Ceza: I was talking to you.

Joel: Kid, do you know why my boss sent you with me?
Ernesto: I assumed you lost a bet.

Silvie: Tereza, we can't let you do this.
Tereza: And how exactly do you plan to stop me?
Aubrey: We're gonna call Lydia.
Tereza:

Gia, waking up: Where am I?
Babs, sarcastically: Heaven.
Gia: Oh.
Gia: Didn't think either of us would be here, to be honest.

Matthias, about Reginald: He's trying to upset me by having a closer relationship with my son than I do, but the joke's on him because he doesn't know just how little I care for Edgar.

Babs: I owe you a favor, and it can be anything you want.
Zuzu: Anything?
Babs: Yeah, anything.
Zuzu: Can you explain to me how a fridge works? Like how does it stay cold?

Isolt: We're having the best time, aren't we?
Byron: I wish I was dead.

Babs: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Gia: And…?
Babs: And you are.

(Accidentally deleted and had to try and remember all the new ones 😭)

Ophelia: I owe you a favor, and it can be anything you want.
Quill: Anything?
Ophelia: Yeah, anything.
Quill: Can you explain to me how a fridge works? Like, how does it stay cold?

Felix: We're having the best time, aren't we?
Anthony: I wish I was dead.

Claire: When I first met you, I thought you were weird and annoying.
Quill: And…?
Claire: And you are.

Emmett: I'm not looking for any trouble.
Dally: What a horrible way to live.

Felix: It's not the end of the world to have feelings.
Anthony: Well, no, but it's certainly up there.

Elliot in elementary school: You probably don't want to befriend me. My mom says I'm a handful.
Quill, excitedly: I have two hands!

Elliot: You better start waving your white flag now, Claire!
Claire: The only thing I'll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
Elliot: …Jesus, dude.

Quill: You know, Mr. Croce, you may be single and childless, but you're totally a dorky dad.
Anthony: I don't think I like your tone, young lady.