forum Incorrect Quotes 2: Electric Boogaloo

Started July 17, 2020 by @HighPockets group

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Jackson: Sorry I was late.
Jackson: Traffic is exactly how it's been every day for the past 5 years and I was not expecting that.

Guard: I'm sorry. I can't let you in.
Aspen: But my brother is the king! He's right there! He'll vouch for me!
Oberon:….
Oberon: I've never seen this man in my life.

Joey: Coughs up blood
Cameron Alexis: Don't go dying on us, Poole
Joey, between coughing fits: Don't tell me what to do.

Safie: Crushes are the worst.
Dally: I know. Whenever I’m around mine I act all stupid.
Safie: Pfft, you always act stupid.
Dally:
Safie:

Agnes: Tiodore offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.
Agnes: I was not expecting to take a sip of vodka at 7 in the morning.

Barry: Started talking to yourself, Prospero?
Tobias: Yes. It's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation around here.

Beck: I forget but I do not forgive.
Beck: I'm wandering around hating people and can't remember why.

Jeb: Sorry I was late.
Jeb: Traffic is exactly how it's been every day for the past 5 years and I was not expecting that.

Guard: I'm sorry. I can't let you in.
Drew: But my sister is Donovan's heir! She's right there! She'll vouch for me!
Cagney:….
Cagney: I've never seen this man in my life.

Rhyda: [Coughs up blood]
Grace: Don't go dying on us, Rhy
Rhyda, between coughing fits: Don't tell me what to do.

Bianca: Crushes are the worst.
Shea: I know. Whenever I’m around mine I act all stupid.
Bianca: Pfft, you always act stupid.
Shea:
Bianca:

Felix: Drew offered me his drink because I mentioned I was thirsty.
Felix: I was not expecting to take a sip of vodka at 7 in the morning.

Felix: Started talking to yourself, Pais?
Paisley: Yes. It's the only way I can be sure of intelligent conversation around here.

Rhyda: I forget but I do not forgive.
Rhyda: I'm wandering around hating people and can't remember why.

Crimson: Hey, Shea, do you like Bianca?
Shea: You know what? Yeah. Yeah, I do.
Jeb: Ha! I told you! You owe me ten bucks!
Crimson: Well, we all like Bianca! You should've asked if she like likes her.
Shea: …Oh. I thought that was implied.
Crimson:
Jeb:
Shea: Congrats, Jeb, you just won ten bucks.

Shea, to Rhyda: Wow, left-handed and a blind? You really are an illusion.

Bianca: Are you ready to commit?
Shea: Like, a crime or to a relationship?
Shea: My answer's yes either way, so I'm not really sure why I asked for clarification.

Bianca: Mr. Hartford, I need some advice.
Ray: You need advice from me?
Bianca: Yes. Frightening, isn't it?

Grace: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween!
Paisley: That's not a thing.
Grace: Well, not with that attitude.

Grace: Oh, fiddlesticks! That really ruffles my feathers!
Rhyda: For the love of God, just say fuck.

Mabel, at the end of a rant about the League: I don't get paid enough for this!
Joey: Wait, you're getting paid?

Jacob: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Eliza: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Barry: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Michael: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Eliza: Flips the board

(I had a ton of new quotes compiled and then accidentally closed the tab :'-] another try!)

Cyrus: Kane, I'm sorry. I messed up. But you know I would kill for you. Ask me to kill for you!
Anthony: No.

Felix: If I may interject…
Anthony: Oh, wonderful, Burman was eavesdropping.

Tetra: Would someone care to explain why there are six dogs in the apartment?
Poli: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Dally: Are you this blunt with everyone?
Anthony: Yes. Don't think you're special.

Cyrus, sharpening a knife: We've got ways of making people talk.
Cyrus: Cuts a slice of cake
Dally: …Can I have some?
Cyrus: Cake is for talkers.

Claire: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

Ellis: Okay! Let’s play Kiss, Marry, Kill!
Ellis: First, who would you guys kill?
Vio: Points at Poli
Tetra: Points at Poli
Drinn: Points at Poli
Poli, shrugging: I would kill me too.

Vio: Find another route. This isn't safe for amateur adventurers.
Tetra: That sounds like a challenge.
Vio: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.
Tetra: …Is exactly what one would say to dissuade the weak of heart from attempting a feat of will and strength. Well, I accept your challenge!
Vio: There is no challenge!

Cyrus: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?
Jack: I'm hanging on by a thread here! Going apeshit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid!

Emmett, when the two first meet: Device, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?
Jack: Well, my doctor just said I should avoid—
Emmett: Being a wuss? I agree.

Cyrus: What? Why would anyone want to hurt Dally?
Anthony: Maybe because they met him?

Anthony: Cardenas, what are you doing?
Quill, shaking a piggy bank: I’m trying to figure out how much change I have.
Anthony: You could always, you know…take it out and count it.
Quill: Where’s the fun in that?

Quill: Wow, Dr. Device, are you secretly cool?
Jack: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool!
Quill: I do not.

Jack: Oh. You're alive.
Dally: Why do you sound so disappointed?!

Sparrow: Thad, I'm sorry. I messed up. But you know I would kill for you. Ask me to kill for you!
Thad: No.

Drew: If I may interject…
Paisley: Oh, wonderful, Drew was eavesdropping.

Drew: Would someone care to explain why there are six dogs in the apartment?
Felix: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Sparrow: Are you this blunt with everyone?
Kora: Yes. Don't think you're special.

Sparrow, sharpening a knife: We've got ways of making people talk.
Sparrow: [Cuts a slice of cake]
Lance: …Can I have some?
Sparrow: Cake is for talkers.

Cagney: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

Grace: Okay! Let’s play Kiss, Marry, Kill!
Grace: First, who would you guys kill?
Paisley: [Points at Drew]
Abel: [Points at Drew]
Felix: [Points at Drew]
Drew, shrugging: I would kill me too.

Thad: Find another route. This isn't safe for amateurs.
Sparrow: That sounds like a challenge.
Thad: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.
Sparrow: …Is exactly what one would say to dissuade the weak of heart from attempting a feat of will and strength. Well, I accept your challenge!
Thad: There is no challenge!

Sparrow: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?
Thad: I'm hanging on by a thread here! Going apeshit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid!

Paisley: Drew, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?
Drew: Well, my doctor just said I should avoid—
Paisley: Being a wuss? I agree.

Haru: What? Why would anyone want to hurt Abel?
Ray: Maybe because they met them?

Dahlia: Midge, what are you doing?
Midge, shaking a piggy bank: I’m trying to figure out how much change I have.
Dahlia: You could always, you know…take it out and count it.
Midge: Where’s the fun in that?

Howie: Wow, Dahlia, are you secretly cool?
Dahlia: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool!
Howie: I do not.

Lance: Oh. You're alive.
Thaddeus: Why do you sound so disappointed?!

Shai: AJ, I'm sorry. I messed up. But you know I would kill for you. Ask me to kill for you!
AJ: No.

Luke: If I may interject…
Owen: Oh, wonderful, Luke was eavesdropping.

AJ: Would someone care to explain why there are six dogs in the apartment?
Bella: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Luke: Are you this blunt with everyone?
Shai: Yes. Don't think you're special.

Owen, sharpening a knife: We've got ways of making people talk.
Owen: [Cuts a slice of cake]
Fern: …Can I have some?
Owen: Cake is for talkers.

Fern: My favourite outdoor activity is going back inside.

Shai: Okay! Let’s play Kiss, Marry, Kill!
Shai: First, who would you guys kill?
Owen: [Points at Luke]
Fern: [Points at Luke]
AJ: [Points at Luke]
Luke, shrugging: I would kill me too.

AJ: Find another route. This isn't safe for amateurs.
Shai: That sounds like a challenge.
AJ: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.
Shai: …Is exactly what one would say to dissuade the weak of heart from attempting a feat of will and strength. Well, I accept your challenge!
AJ: There is no challenge!

Luke: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?
Owen: I'm hanging on by a thread here! Going apeshit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid!

Shai: Owen, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?
Owen: Well, my doctor just said I should avoid—
Shai: Being a wuss? I agree.

Bella: What? Why would anyone want to hurt Shai?
Owen: Maybe because they met her?

Nana-Lila: Sheila, what are you doing?
Sheila, shaking a piggy bank: I’m trying to figure out how much change I have.
Nana-Lila: You could always, you know…take it out and count it.
Sheila: Where’s the fun in that?

Nana-Lila: Oh. You're alive.
Shai: Why do you sound so disappointed?!

(I had a ton of new quotes compiled and then accidentally closed the tab :'-] another try!)

(Omg that's such an awful feeling :( )

Lyra: Trix, I'm sorry. I messed up. But you know I would kill for you. Ask me to kill for you!
Trix: No.

Samuel: If I may interject…
Darius: Oh, wonderful, Shafton was eavesdropping.

Marisol: Would someone care to explain why there are six dogs in your dorm?
Casey: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Henry: Are you this blunt with everyone?
Geneva: Yes. Don't think you're special.

Clare, sharpening a knife: We've got ways of making people talk.
Clare: Cuts a slice of cake
Silvie: …Can I have some?
Clare: Cake is for talkers.

Kitty: My favorite outdoor activity is going back inside.

Aristotle: Okay! Let’s play Kiss, Marry, Kill!
Aristotle: First, who would you guys kill?
Percy: Points at Byron
Douglas: Points at Byron
Oscar: Points at Byron
Byron, shrugging: I would kill me too.

Lord Arnol: Find another route. This isn't safe for amateur adventurers.
Aristotle: That sounds like a challenge.
Lord Arnol: I have to stress, that is not a challenge.
Aristotle: …Is exactly what one would say to dissuade the weak of heart from attempting a feat of will and strength. Well, I accept your challenge!
Lord Arnol: There is no challenge!

Sal: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?
Shep: I'm hanging on by a thread here! Going apeshit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid!

Lydia, when the two first meet: Fynn, how do you feel about lifting heavy things?
Algernon: Well, my doctor just said I should avoid—
Clare: Being a wuss? I agree.

Annette: What? Why would anyone want to hurt Luc?
Mariam: Maybe because they met him?

Isaak: Rista, what are you doing?
Rista, shaking a piggy bank: I’m trying to figure out how much change I have.
Isaak: You could always, you know…take it out and count it.
Rista: Where’s the fun in that?

Timothy: Wow, Mr. Darby, are you secretly cool?
Max: Well, poker is just math, so I guess it depends on if you consider the mathematician, Carl Friedrich Gauss, cool!
Timothy: I do not.

Mariam: Oh. You're alive.
Luc: Why do you sound so disappointed?!

Ara: And you? What do you bring to the table?
Andor: Graham crackers.

Ara: Can I just stop you right there, Andor?
Andor: Oh yes. Go ahead, Ara.
Ara: Ok, I actually just really need you to stop talking.

Catalina: Birds is "oiseaux" in French. No letter is pronounced the way it should. And there are seven of them!
Catalina: IT'S PRONOUNCED "WAZO" AND YES, I WILL DIE MAD ABOUT IT!
Ella: Oiseaux hits every vowel in the French alphabet, and manages to only be pronounced with 2 goddamn syllables.
Nina: Got vowels coming out the oiseaux.

Alexander: Oh. You're alive.
Matthew: Why do you sound so disappointed?!

Crispin: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?
Gerard: I'm hanging on by a thread here! Going apeshit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid!

Dallas: Are you this blunt with everyone?
Ara: Yes. Don't think you're special.

Everett: And you? What do you bring to the table?
Hazel: Graham crackers.

Matthew: Can I just stop you right there, Bobby?
Bobby: Oh, yeah. Go ahead.
Matthew: Okay, I actually just really need you to stop talking for a minute.

Alice: Birds is "oiseaux" in French. No letter is pronounced the way it should. And there are seven of them!
Alice: IT'S PRONOUNCED "WAZO" AND YES, I WILL DIE MAD ABOUT IT!
Victor: Oiseaux hits every vowel in the French alphabet, and manages to only be pronounced with two syllables.
Henry: Got vowels coming out the oiseaux.

Alistair: Oh. You're alive.
Jake: Why do you sound so disappointed?!

Clare: Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you just wanna go apeshit?
Silvie: I'm hanging on by a thread here! Going apeshit is exactly the thing I'm trying to avoid!

Percy: Are you this blunt with everyone?
Byron: Yes. Don't think you're special.

Ella: Hey, sorry I was acting so weird yesterday. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Milo: Yes, I may be morally corrupted.
Milo: But I'm also incredibly hot and I think that makes up for it honestly.

Andor: I think ‘I was doing a bit’ is an extremely valid courtroom defense.

Adelia: Did you know kissing reduces stress?
Gerard: …..okay?
Adelia: "I'm just saying because you look stressed. Like really stressed."
Gerard:
Adelia: "Just wanted to let you know."

Andor: Oh wow, how did you know I was hungry? This tastes so good!
Kidnapper, putting his 37th piece of tape around Andor's mouth: I said sTOP EATING IT

Milo: How dare you criticise a national treasure!
Ravina: National treasure? You're a regional trinket, at best.

Milo: I admire the betta fish because I also am beautiful and want to fight everyone

Ira: Hey, sorry I was acting so weird yesterday. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Oleander: Yes, I may be morally corrupted.
Oleander: But I'm also incredibly hot and I think that makes up for it honestly.

Barry: I think ‘I was doing a bit’ is an extremely valid courtroom defense.

Darlene: Did you know kissing reduces stress?
Cordelia: …..okay?
Darlene: I'm just saying because you look stressed. Like really stressed.
Cordelia:
Darlene: Just wanted to let you know.

Robin: Oh wow, how did you know I was hungry? This tastes so good!
The Erl King, putting his 37th piece of tape around Robin's mouth: I said stop eating it!

Oleander: How dare you criticize a national treasure!
Titania: National treasure? You're a regional trinket, at best.

Cameron Alexis: I admire the betta fish because I also am beautiful and want to fight everyone

Tsuki: Bitch I can sing!
Nio: Then sing
Tsuki: HuAAAAAAA
Nio: Bitch you can't sing
Tsuki: bitch you right
Tsuki: shit

---

Tsuki: alright and the word of the day is weenie four, any questions?
Lio: hand shoots up
Tsuki: yes Lio?
Lio: What's a weenie four?
Tsuki: HAHAH
Tsuki: whatsaweeniefour–

---

(Tsuki, Phobia, and Nio are in some bushes)
Tsuki: agent falcon are you ready
Phobia: yep, ready
Tsuki: Alright, agent little weenie?
Nio: Agent WHAT?
Tsuki: agent little weenie

---

Tsuki: I saw you hanging out with iris yesterday
Nio: wait, Tsuki it's not what you think–
(Tsuki whips out a water gun)
Tsuki: I won't hesitate, bitch

---

Tsuki: I was waiting for you Oroshi
Oroshi: k
Tsuki: why didn't you come to my tea party!?
Oroshi: busy
Tsuki: OROSHI, I MADE BISCUITS

Anthony: And you? What do you bring to the table?
Quill: Graham crackers.

Dally: I think ‘I was doing a bit’ is an extremely valid courtroom defense.

Drinn: Why didn't you come to my tea party!?
Vio: I was busy.
Drinn, on the verge of tears: Vio, I made biscuits!

Poli: Pick a card, any card.
Ellis, taking one: Fine.
Poli: Hey, that's my credit card!
Ellis: You said any card!

Jack: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Jack: I would say infinitesimally small, even.
Cyrus: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Quill: I've come to the decision to trust you.
Jack: A horrible decision, really.

Ibis: Wanna play Twenty Questions?
Vio: Sure, I guess. Uh, what's your favorite color?
Ibis: Triangle. My turn, do you like men?

Tetra: When I first met you, I thought you were a huge bitch.
Ellis: What changed your mind?
Tetra: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

Quill: I dunno if I'm ready to really process the ramifications of this bullshit.

Poli, holding up two shirts: Today's the big day! Should I go with the ketchup stain or the mustard stain?
Tetra: Ketchup stain—it looks more like blood. Makes you look mysterious.

Quill: Could I get two straws with that milkshake?
Ophelia: Aww-
Quill: Watch how fast I can drink this now!

Anthony: The next time I'm opening up to someone is at my autopsy.

Cyrus: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.
Felix: That is not something you actually have installed.
Cyrus: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Ransom: And you? What do you bring to the table?
Howie: Graham crackers.

Midge: I think ‘I was doing a bit’ is an extremely valid courtroom defense.

Midge: Why didn't you come to my tea party!?
Dahlia: I was busy.
Midge, on the verge of tears: Dahlia, I made biscuits!

Felix: Pick a card, any card.
Rhyda, taking one: Fine.
Felix: Hey, that's my credit card!
Rhyda: You said any card!

Paisley: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Paisley: I would say infinitesimally small, even.
Abel: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Donovan: I've come to the decision to trust you.
Shea: A horrible decision, really.

Shea: Wanna play Twenty Questions?
Bianca: Sure, I guess. Uh, what's your favorite color?
Shea: Triangle. My turn, do you like women?

Crimson: When I first met you, I thought you were a huge bitch.
Shea: What changed your mind?
Crimson: Oh, I still think you’re a bitch, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

Dahlia: I dunno if I'm ready to really process the ramifications of this bullshit.

Midge, holding up two shirts: Today's the big day! Should I go with the ketchup stain or the mustard stain?
Hammy, just trying to work: Ketchup stain—it looks more like blood. Makes you look mysterious.

Shea: Could I get two straws with that milkshake?
Bianca: Aww-
Shea: Watch how fast I can drink this now!

Paisley: The next time I'm opening up to someone is at my autopsy.

Paisley: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.
Shea: That is not something you actually have installed.
Paisley: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

The League: And you? What do you bring to the table?
Maisy: Graham crackers?

Mabel: Why didn't you come to my tea party!?
Joey: I was busy.
Mabel: Joey, I made biscuits!

Skye: Pick a card, any card.
Luc, taking one: Fine.
Skye: Hey, that's my credit card!
Luc: You said any card!

Tobias: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Michael: I would say infinitesimally small, even.
Barry: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

Mariam: I've come to the decision to trust you.
Luc: A horrible decision, really.

Mariam: When I first met you, I thought you were a lying crook.
Luc: What changed your mind?
Mariam: Oh, I still think you’re a lying crook, I’ve just grown to like that about you.

Sal: I dunno if I'm ready to really process the ramifications of this bullshit.

Cameron Alexis: The next time I'm opening up to someone is at my autopsy.

Sal: Bzz! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.
Shep: That is not something you actually have installed.
Sal: Sorry, say that again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.

Claire: To all the people who doubted me:
Claire: You were right.

Quill: Remember that if you ask someone if they're good, there's always a chance they could reply 'no, I'm evil.' And that's just something you gotta be ready for.

Cyrus: If you don't come to my funeral, I'm not coming to yours.
Jack: What?

Claire: I may not be trying my hardest, but I'm very tired, which I think should be taken into consideration.

Victor: To all the people who doubted me…
Victor: You were right.

Dally: Remember that if you ask someone if they're good, there's always a chance they could reply 'no, I'm evil.' And that's just something you gotta be ready for.

Bobby: If you don't come to my funeral, I'm not coming to yours.
Kate: What?

Joey: I may not be trying my hardest, but I'm very tired, which I think should be taken into consideration.

Andor: It's been 24 years since I've been to a library.
Ara: Oh, so you've never been.

Ella: I have a lot to say.
Ella: You should probably get some popcorn.

Gerard: To all the people who doubted me…
Gerard: You were right.

Taven: If you don't come to my funeral, I'm not coming to yours.
Keyla: What?

Gerard: I may not be trying my hardest, but I'm very tired, which I think should be taken into consideration.

Farli: The next time I'm opening up to someone is at my autopsy.

Dallas: The odds of this happening by coincidence are vanishingly small.
Ara: I would say infinitesimally small, even.
Andor: And I'd say teenily-weenily. We all know words.

James: Pick a card, any card.
Nina, taking one: Fine.
James: Hey, that's my credit card!
Nina: You said any card!

Elliot: I have a lot to say.
Elliot: You should probably get some popcorn.

Anthony: Ew, what kind of tea is this?
Cyrus: I boiled Gatorade :)

Elliot: What do you believe in in life?
Perry: Self preservation through love.
Quill: Mothman.
Ophelia, nodding: Mothman as well.

Ellis: Have you ever been arrested?
Poli: Yes, actually. Several times.
Ellis: …I was going to say "because it must be illegal to look that good," but now I wanna know what you actually got arrested for.

Cyrus: Hey, if Dally and I were drowning, who would you save?
Anthony: You two can't swim?
Cyrus: It's a hypothetical question, Kane! Who would you save?
Anthony: My time and effort.

Quill: You know, I'm beginning to regret showing you how that blender works.
Azazel, drinking toast: Why?

Emmett: Jack and I are having a child.
Quill: Oh, wow, really? That's gr-
Emmett, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you. Sign here.

Tetra: Sometimes facing your fears head-on is the best way to realize they aren’t actually scary.
Drinn: Yeah, I totally agree. Like when I climbed a mountain during a lighting storm and demanded to be struck by lightning. I didn’t get hurt at all, and now I’m not even scared of God anymore.
Tetra: That is….not what I meant.
Vio: You did what?

Jack: Why does Kane look so upset?
Quill: I made him take this "Which Eldritch Horror are You?" quiz I found online because I thought it'd be fun.
Jack: …And?
Quill: Well, it said the eldritch horror he's most like is you.

Milo: It's not the most ethical move, but in a pinch, you could hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

Andor: What's an aptitude test?
Ara: It's a suitability test, Andor.
Andor: I'll wear a suit. I don't care.

Garzlan: Sometimes facing your fears head-on is the best way to realize they aren’t actually scary.
Milo: Yeah, I totally agree. Like when I climbed a mountain during a lighting storm and demanded to be struck by lightning. I didn’t get hurt at all, and now I’m not even scared of God anymore.
Garzlan: That is….not what I meant.
Ravina: You did what?

Ara: You know, I'm beginning to regret showing you how that blender works.
Andor, drinking toast: Why?

Taven: Hey, if Cal and I were drowning, who would you save?
Farli: You two can't swim?
Taven: It's a hypothetical question, Farli! Who would you save?
Farli: My time and effort.

Killian: I have a lot to say.
Killian: You should probably get some popcorn.

Hammy: Ew, what kind of tea is this?
Midge: I boiled Gatorade :)

Avon: What do you believe in in life?
Dahlia: Self preservation through love.
Midge: Mothman.
Howie, nodding: Mothman as well.

Killian: Have you ever been arrested?
Ransom: Yes, actually. Several times.
Killian: …I was going to say "because it must be illegal to look that good," but now I wanna know what you actually got arrested for.

Howie: Hey, if Midge and I were drowning, who would you save?
Dahlia: You two can't swim?
Howie: It's a hypothetical question, Dahlia. Who would you save?
Dahlia: My time and effort.

Dahlia: You know, I'm beginning to regret showing you how that blender works.
Midge, drinking toast: Why?

Ransom: Killian and I are having a child.
Hammy: Oh, wow, really? That's gr-
Ransom, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you. Sign here.

Avon: Sometimes facing your fears head-on is the best way to realize they aren’t actually scary.
Midge: Yeah, I totally agree. Like when I climbed a mountain during a lighting storm and demanded to be struck by lightning. I didn’t get hurt at all, and now I’m not even scared of God anymore.
Avon: That is….not what I meant.
Dahlia: You did what?

Killian: It's not the most ethical move, but in a pinch, you could hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

Midge: What's an aptitude test?
Killian: It's a suitability test, Midge.
Midge: I'll wear a suit. I don't care.

Algernon: It's not the most ethical move, but in a pinch, you could hand off a cursed object to basically any baby.

Barry: What's an aptitude test?
Tobias: It's a suitability test, Rodgers.
Barry: I'll wear a suit, I don't care.

Mabel: Sometimes facing your fears head-on is the best way to realize they aren’t actually scary.
Cameron Alexis: Yeah, I totally agree. Like when I climbed a mountain during a lighting storm and demanded to be struck by lightning. I didn’t get hurt at all, and now I’m not even scared of God anymore.
Mabel: That is….not what I meant.
Joey: You did what?

Tomas: Hey, if Maisy and I were drowning, who would you save?
Cameron Alexis: You two can't swim?
Tomas: It's a hypothetical question. Who would you save?
Cameron Alexis: My time and effort.

Quill, sighing: I wish I had more enemies.

Drinn: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game…
Ellis, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Drinn: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Anthony: Don't say a word.
Cyrus: Fergalicious.
Anthony: Hecate, I said no words!
Cyrus: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago, when we're playing Scrabble, it's not a word. But suddenly it is a word when it's convenient for you.

Felix: You know who I am.
Quill: No, we don’t.
Felix: You know what I do.
Quill: We’re still unclear on that, actually.

Dally (who is Canadian): I have just been informed by Cyrus that "Country Roads" is not actually the American national anthem. This is the worst day of my life.

Anthony, pulling out a flask: Want any?
Cyrus: Sure.
Cyrus, taking a sip: Is this soup?

Cyrus: Thanks, Burman. I couldn’t have done this without you.
Felix: Sure you could've! Not as stylishly, though, of course.

Anthony: You don't care who you piss off, do you?
Dally: Not in the slightest!

Andor: Where are you going after this?
Ara: Home.
Andor: Oh, is that a new bar?
Ara: No, like literally my home.

Nina: I just love your energy!
Ella: Thanks. I changed my personality to match the situation. Glad it worked.

Gerard: Ugh, I'm so ready for a mental breakdown but I don't have the time!

Garzlan: Why did you tell everyone you were having a medical emergency? Are you ok?
Milo: I'm fine, I just wanted attention.

Farli I'm in love.
Taven: You are?!
Farli: Well, I'm talking to someone and I don't hate them so basically yes.

Andor (drunkenly to his own reflection in a bathroom mirror): You are exactly where you need to be.

Matthew: Hi, this might be decades of repressed emotions talking, but I'm upset.

Kristi: I just love your energy!
Bobby: Thanks, I changed my personality to match the situation. Glad it worked.

Della: Ugh, I'm so ready for a mental breakdown but I don't have the time!

Cypress: Why did you tell everyone you were having a medical emergency? Are you okay?
Oleander: I'm fine, I just wanted attention.

Algernon, drunkenly to his own reflection in a bathroom mirror: You are exactly where you need to be.

Oberon: Hi, this might be decades of repressed emotions talking, but I'm upset.

Samuel, when he's stuck in Creston: My father would turn over in his grave if he saw me like this!
Nich: But your father is alive.
Samuel: Yes, but this would kill him.

Alexei: I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
Talia: Who?
Alexei: The lyingest, cheatingest, sloppiest con man in Creston!
Talia: Oh, Fox.

Shea: I just love your energy!
Grace: Thanks, I changed my personality to match the situation. Glad it worked.

Crimson: Ugh, I'm so ready for a mental breakdown but I don't have the time!

Drew: Why did you tell everyone you were having a medical emergency? Are you okay?
Felix: I'm fine, I just wanted attention.

Felix, drunkenly to his own reflection in a bathroom mirror: You are exactly where you need to be.

Ray: Hi, this might be decades of repressed emotions talking, but I'm upset.

Hammy, when he's stuck with Midge and Howie: My dad would turn over in his grave if he saw me like this!
Midge: But your dad is alive.
Hammy: Yes, but this would kill him.

Bianca: I'll kill him! I'll kill him!
Crimson: Who?
Bianca: The lyingest, cheatingest, sloppiest con man in Concordia!
Crimson: Oh, Felix.

Bianca: I'm in love.
Jeb: You are?!
Bianca: Well, I'm talking to someone and I don't hate them so basically yes.

Midge, sighing: I wish I had more enemies.

The King: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game…
Sparrow, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
The King: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Paisley: Don't say a word.
Abel: Fergalicious.
Paisley: Dumbass, I said no words!
Abel: Oh, I see. Two weeks ago, when we're playing Scrabble, it's not a word. But suddenly it is a word when it's convenient for you.

Boss: You know who I am.
Midge: No, we don’t.
Boss: You know what I do.
Felix: We’re still unclear on that, actually.

Shea (who is Canadian): I have just been informed by Grace that "Country Roads" is not actually the American national anthem. This is the worst day of my life.

Grace, pulling out a flask: Want any?
Sid: Sure.
Sid, taking a sip: Is this soup?

Quinn, sarcastically: Thanks, Pesto. I couldn’t have done this without you.
Pesto: Sure you could've! Not as stylishly, though, of course.

Paisley: You don't care who you piss off, do you?
Rhyda: Not in the slightest!