Addie: It's dark in here
Kay: Don’t worry babe, I've got this
Kay: Stomps their feet
Kay: Skechers light up
Dr. Flynn, going over Victor's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative?
Victor: Yes.
Dr. Flynn: Okay… may I know what you create?
Victor: Problems.
vienna: i’m an idiot.
malomi:
kimtar:
jackson:
vienna:
malomi: if you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
malomi: we’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what vienna will and will not eat.
kimtar: grass? yes!
malomi: moss? yes!!
kimtar: leaves? ohh, yes!
malomi: shoelaces? strange but true!
kimtar: worms? sometimes!
malomi: rocks? usually nah.
kimtar: twigs? usually!
malomi: jackson's cooking? inconclusive!
pico: how did you… test this?
malomi: you just hand her stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if she eats it, she eats it.
pico: …i don’t know how to feel about this.
jackson: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?
Ravou: hey Malak, what do you call a fish without an eye?
Malak: What?
Ravou: fsh
Malak: ._.
Emmett: It's dark in here.
Love: Don’t worry, I've got this.
Love: Stomps their feet
Love: Skechers light up
Anthony: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Dally: You and me! :)
Anthony, tearing up: Okay.
Magnus: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Cyrus: Put spaghetti in it.
Magnus: I am currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Dally: Put spaghetti in it.
Magnus: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Perry: Put spaghetti in it.
Magnus: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Vio: You lying, cheating piece of shit!
Drinn: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do! Welcome to the real world!
Tetra, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Anthony: Damn it, Cyrus!
Cyrus: What? I just got here!
Anthony: Sorry, force of habit. Damn it, Azazel!
Azazel: Wasn’t me either.
Anthony: Oh…then who set the apartment on fire?
Dally: Whistles
Tetra, trying to fill out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Zephyr: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Ellis: I personally was created in a lab.
Drinn: I just straight up spawned lol
Hastur: As one of my human friends would say, "Ya basic."
Hastur: That's a human insult. It's devastating.
Hastur: You should be devastated right now.
Hastur: I can’t believe Alune tried to stab me.
Phel: You’re literally immortal.
Hastur: I have feelings.
Leaoni: [Holds up a spork] Sana, what is this?
Sana: A spork…?
Leaoni: Right. Takeo, what did you call it?
Takeo: … A fpoon…
Amari: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars.
Leaoni: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.
Varian: I can explain.
Desmond: Can you?
Varian: Just give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
Frost: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.
Kallai:
Kallai: That’s why i carry two swords.
Alune: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Varian: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Alune: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Leaoni: It's dark in here.
Trace: Don’t worry, I've got this.
Trace: Stomps her feet
Trace: Skechers light up
Desmond, going over Varian’s resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative?
Varian: Yes.
Desmond: Okay… may I know what you create?
Varian: Problems, mainly.
Alune, trying to fill out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Sally: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Hibiki: I personally was created in a lab.
Pipes: I just straight up spawned lol.
Ozzie: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Freddy: You and me.
Ozzie, tearing up: Okay.
Oberon: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Robin: Put spaghetti in it.
Oberon: I am currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Titania: Put spaghetti in it.
Oberon: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Aspen: Put spaghetti in it.
Oberon: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Tabitha: You lying, cheating piece of shit!
Kels: Oh yeah? You are the one who thinks you can get away with everything you do! Welcome to the real world!
Imogen, picking up the Monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Ness: Damn it, Lyra!
Lyra: What? I just got here!
Ness: Sorry, force of habit. Damn it, Trix!
Trix: Wasn’t me either.
Ness: Oh…then who set the warehouse on fire?
Dima: Whistles
Oberon, trying to fill out legal paperwork: Were you assigned male or female at birth?
Robin: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Juniper: You're not being helpful.
Robin: I just straight up spawned.
Jackson: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.
Martha: Okay, but what is updog?
Henry: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.
Geneva: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.
Victor: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.
Martha: Surely, that’s Uppsala, whereas updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.
Jackson: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.
Geneva: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.
Victor: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.
Henry: What’s a henway?
Jackson: Oh, about five pounds.
Henry: We need to distract these guys.
Victor: Leave it to me
Victor: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.
Dr. Flynn, Mr. Flynn, and Charlie: Immediately begin arguing
Nich: I can explain.
Mourton: Can you?
Nich: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
malomi: you lying, cheating, piece of shit!
vienna: oh yeah? you’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
malomi: i’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING JACKSON WITH ME
kimtar, picking up the monopoly board: i think we’re gonna stop playing now.
malomi: i just ended a four-year relationship.
vienna: oh, I’m so sorry. are you okay?
malomi: hm? oh yeah, i'm fine. it wasn’t my relationship.
[kimtar and jackson fighting from across the room]
jackson: [screams]
vienna: [screams louder to establish dominance]
kimtar: should we do something?
malomi: no, i want to see who wins.
Hastur: Oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until I start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. Then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
Hastur: I see how it is.
Alune: Sure, I may not get a "healthy amount" of sleep like some people, but can they do this?
Alune: [stands up and immediately passes out]
Graham, after just waking up: Hey, what'd I miss?
Leaoni: Varian's in prison.
Graham: He's WHAT?
Pipes: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Varian: My arms are very strong.
Varian: I would catch you and hug you.
Pipes: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.
Robin: Oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until I start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. Then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
Robin: I see how it is.
Nell, after just waking up: Hey, what'd I miss?
Joan: Nich's in prison.
Nell: He's WHAT?
Robin: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Titania: My arms are very strong.
Titania: I would catch you and hug you.
Robin: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.
Andor: We are in an undisclosed location.
Ara: You already said earlier that we were in Vancouver.
Andor: Yeah I guess I did say that. But I never said where
Ara: No, you said we were downtown.
Andor: *sigh* We are in an undisclosed location in Vancouver. It might be in the downtown area, it might not be.
Brian: Do you guys want to go hiking this weekend?
Holly: It's probably not the best time.
Brian: Oh yeah, I guess it'll be crowded because of the long weekend.
Holly: I was actually thinking because Jackie broke her leg, but that too I guess.
Jackie: …And here I was thinking that a hike might actually be kinda nice.
Milo: I would offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.
Crispin: Oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until I start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. Then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
Crispin: I see how it is.
Milo: [screams]
Ravina: [screams louder to establish dominance]
Garzlan: should we do something?
Keyla: no, i want to see who wins.
Ara: I currently have seven empty notebooks and I have no clue what to put in them. Suggestions?
Andor: Put spaghetti in it.
Ara: I am currently taking suggestions from literally anyone but you.
Dallas: Put spaghetti in it.
Ara: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two.
Holly: Put spaghetti in it.
Ara: I am no longer taking suggestions.
Gerard: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Adelia: You and me.
Gerard, tearing up: Okay.
Kit: What the fuck is wrong with you?
Crispin: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
Kit: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!
Dallas: It's dark in here
Andor: Don’t worry, I've got this
Andor: *Stomps their feet*
Andor: *Skechers light up*
Ace, proofreading Flyx's mock resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you're creative
Flyx: Yup
Ace: Okay… what exactly do you create?
Flyx: Problems
Ace: Accurate, but try again
Dax: I've had the game of football mansplained to me hundreds of times and I still don't understand it 'cause I so deeply don't care
Ace: …But you're a man?
Dax: I've also had the crime of a man not understanding football mansplained to me as well
Ace:
Ace: I'll allow it
Tess: stabs someone
Alexis:
Tess:
Alexis:
Tess: He's only mostly dead
Wolf: Never get involved in a land war in Asia
Tess & Tori: Never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line
Pharaoh: My gender is anger and my pronouns are fuck off and screw you
Julian: Someone died in the living room
Tristan: Well I guess it's not a living room anymore
Julian: Get out
Rhydar: I did a bad thing…
Koralia: Does it affect me?
Rhydar: No, but–
Koralia: Then suffer in silence
Ryker: Did you know that one in every four people are gay?
Alexis: That means at least one of us are bound to be gay
Tess: I hope it's Kit
Kit: We're all gay, you fucking idiots
Lincoln: Name one fragrance commercial that has ever made sense
Vera: What are you talking about, they all make scents
Lincoln: Shut the fuck up
Harper: 'Free as a bird' is often misused, it means you don't have to pay for em. See a bird? Pick it up. It's yours now. I have 3 hawks and 58 crows
Damien: We have what now?
Kit: Don't say anything stupid on the way out
Tess: I won't
Tess: shakes priest's hand after lovely wedding ceremony
Tess: So are you God's boyfriend?
Jay: Something strange… in the neighborhood *turns to Flyx* Who you gonna call?
Flyx: The fuckin police
Raoul: What do you want for breakfast?
Julian: Ice cream
Raoul: Try again
Julian: Should I say it louder?
Angel: Wakes up in the middle of the night to see Tess an inch from his face
Tess: So we had this id—stop screaming—so we had this idea
Angel: What the fuck—wait, who's 'we?'
Pharaoh, directly beside his face: We had this idea–
Angel: Christ, there's two of them
Ace: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Flyx: If you say 'addictionary' I swear to fucking god I will cut you
Ace: I was gonna say 'high definition' but yours is better
Azazel: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Quill: If you say 'addictionary', I swear to god I will hurt you.
Azazel: …I was gonna say 'high definition', but you know what? Yours is better.
Quill: Did you know that one in every four people are gay?
Cyrus: That means at least one of us is bound to be gay.
Anthony: …I hope it's Dally.
Magnus: We’re all gay, you fucking idiots.
Tetra: Don't say anything stupid on the way out.
Zephyr: I won't!
Zephyr, shaking the priest's hand after the wedding ceremony: So are you God's boyfriend?
Azazel: The phrase 'free as a bird' is often misused. It means you don't have to pay for ‘em. See a bird? Pick it up. It's yours now. I’ve obtained 3 hawks and 58 crows using this method
Zephyr: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Tetra: My arms are very strong. I would catch you and hug you.
Zephyr: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.
malomi: oh, so it's "do what makes you happy" until i start crawling on rooftops dressed as a gargoyle and shrieking. then, suddenly, it's "not a useful skill" and "scaring people" and "illegal".
malomi: i see how it is.
kimtar: don't say anything stupid on the way out.
vienna: i won't!
vienna, shaking the priest's hand after the wedding ceremony: so are you God's boyfriend?
tulip: the phrase 'free as a bird' is often misused. it means you don't have to pay for ‘em. see a bird? pick it up. it's yours now. i’ve obtained 3 hawks and 58 crows using this method
Ace going on a feminism rant: Hey boys
Flyx, whispering to himself: Hi
Ace: I have a question for the men
Flyx: Okay
Ace: What the FUCK do you want???
Flyx: A grilled cheese
Ace: What is it???
Flyx: A sandwich
Azazel: Hey, Sandy? I have a question.
The Sandman: Go for it.
Azazel: What’s the correct ratio of gunpowder to essential oils?
The Sandman: What?
Azazel: I want this bath bomb to be perfect.
Anthony: …You’re giving me a sticker?
Quill: Not just any sticker! A sticker of a cat saying “me-wow”!
Anthony: I’m not a kindergartner.
Quill: Fine, I’ll take it back-
Anthony: Wait, I earned this!
Elias: Quill, you’re acting a little paranoid.
Quill: Everyone keeps saying that! It must be some sort of conspiracy.
Tetra: Wake up, Ellis.
Ellis: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out.
Madam Margo: Don't say anything stupid on the way out.
Varian: I won't!
Varian, shaking the priest's hand after the wedding ceremony: So are you God's boyfriend?
Hastur: Hey, Alune? I have a question.
Alune: Go for it.
Hastur: What’s the correct ratio of gunpowder to essential oils?
Alune: What?
Hastur: I want this bath bomb to be perfect.
Takeo: …You’re giving me a sticker?
Trace: Not just any sticker! A sticker of a cat saying “me-wow”!
Takeo: I’m not a kindergartner.
Trace: Well, you don't have to wear it -
Takeo: What? No. It's mine. Back off.
Lynn: Wake up, Leaoni.
Leaoni: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out.
Frost: What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
Takeo: If you say 'dictionary I swear to fucking god I will shoot you.
Frost: I was gonna say 'high definition' but yours is better.
Alune: What do you want for breakfast?
Pipes: Ice cream.
Alune: Try again.
Pipes, genuinely confused: Should I say it louder?
shroom: what the fuck is wrong with you?!
carrot: wow, you could start with a 'good morning'.
shroom: good morning. what the fuck is wrong with you?!
shroom, addressing the squad: and if you have any suggestions feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
bun: but – that’s just a trash can.
shroom: it sure is!
portia: you love me, right, shroom?
shroom: normally, i’d say yes without hesitation, but i feel like this is going somewhere and i don’t like it.
Anthony, showing Quill around: And if you have any questions or comments, feel free to put them in the suggestion box.
Quill: That’s a trash can?
Anthony: Yep.
Zephyr: You love me, right, Tetra?
Tetra: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Bane: You love me, right, Rune?
Rune: Normally, I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don’t like it.
Sparrow: Wake up, Thad.
Thaddeus: I’m not sleeping, I’m dead. Leave flowers and get out.
Sparrow: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.
Thaddeus: Killed without hesitation.
Sparrow: No.
Fennec: What if I were evil and ran towards you at very fast speeds?
Bane: My arms are very strong.
Bane: I would catch you and hug you.
Fennec: That's a nice sentiment, but we both know that's not true and I would run you over.
Fennec: [screams]
Thaddeus: [screams louder to establish dominance]
Sparrow: Should we do something?
Rune: No, I want to see who wins.
Rune: [stabs someone]
Bane:
Rune:
Bane:
Rune: He's only mostly dead
Fennec: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I’ll wait.
Bane: You and me.
Fennec, tearing up: Okay.
shroom, standing with his back turned: i’ve been expecting you, bun.
bun: how did you do that without turning around?
shroom: … to be perfectly honest, the first couple of people i did that to were not you.
shroom: i can explain.
bun: can you?
shroom: if you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.
Trace: I'm rescuing you.
Leaoni, tied to a chair: Cool, do you have a plan?
Trace: If i stop for long enough to think about what i'm actually doing i'm going to have a panic attack.
Leaoni: I'm taking command of this rescue.
Trace: Please.
Kallai: We'll handle this the way we always do.
Takeo: Brute strength?
Sana: Almost dying?
Kallai: No.
Leaoni: You can’t just throw money at all your problems.
Zatian: [throws a wad of cash at Leaoni's face]
Leaoni:
Zatian:
Varian, from the sidelines: So are you gonna keep that or…
Varian: You know Alune, you think that you've seen it all and done it all, but guess what? You haven’t done me.
[Everyone stares at him]
Alune: Give him a second.
Varian:
Varian: That didn’t come out right.
Lynn: [walks into the room]
Graham: Alexa play god is a woman.
Malak: I’m breaking up with you
Gatzi:
GRRR!
Malak: What?
Gatzi: Angry bionicle