@Sammy H.
“Why do you have 7 bags of popcorn in the middle of uniform inspection?!”
“Why do you have 7 bags of popcorn in the middle of uniform inspection?!”
Lmao these are hilarious
I have a bunch more bug ones, I hate bugs and have been put into a lot of things
Hey, do y'all mind if I occasionally quote college students? Because they're like high schoolers without their parents around to tell them they're being idiots. It's wonderful.
Hey, do y'all mind if I occasionally quote college students? Because they're like high schoolers without their parents around to tell them they're being idiots. It's wonderful.
Yass! Do it!
Oh, I've got one. So at my school, we have a coffee and tea club, and we started calling the phone numbers on the backs of tea boxes.
One conversation:
A (club president)- Hi, I was just calling to ask about how your tea supports a healthy lifestyle?
Guy on the other end of the line (we'll call him B)- Uhhh?
A- Yeah, on the back of the box, it says, "call us for more information on how our tea supports a healthy lifestyle. You don't get people calling about that?
B- This is the first time.
(After a few minutes, and it being obvious that B had gone to google stuff)
B- (I don't remember it all, but…) It's got antioxidants (this man also struggles to say antioxidants)
There's a bit more, but that was the highlight.
2.
A- Hi, we were calling to give you feedback on your tea. We're part of a club, and some of the members have questions too. Would you be willing to answer them?
B- Sure.
M(another member of the club)- Hey, so how does your tea get its red color?
B- Um… uh…
A- It's okay, you don't have to explain it if you don't want to. By the way, your tea is great (goes on to compliment the tea and the company a little more in depth.)
AND THE CLUB ENDED UP WITH COUPONS!!!
I had to leave after the second call, but oml… I love these people so much.
(That sounds awesome lol)
Me- Another day of pain and misery!
My friend- Do you mean life or school?
Me- What if I told you it was both?
Friend- Then I would go the fuck back to bed.
Here's another one:
Drama Club president- We are gathered here today because someone wouldn't shut up when the teacher was speaking.
The rest of the club- Without a moment of pause Ethan?
President- Ethan
Instructor: If anyone makes a dab joke applying makeup, I swear to God I will kick you out!
The nicest and most innocent in the play: What's a dab joke? Is it like (he dabs) THIS?
"Wait, hold up! Where's my cyanide?"
Kid: MAKE WAY! SELF-ENTITLEMENT COMING THROUGH!
"Ya dOnE gOOfEd, my dUdE!"
Student 2: why are the people in the Bible so stupid? They make a golden cow just to worship it
Teacher: if you look at the people in the Bible they’re just like us
Student 1: how? Do we worship cows?
Teacher: no… but we do have an obsession with our phon-
Student 2: don’t you love cows tho? You’re always looking up cows…
Student 1: oh wait! I do. I worship them. I just love blow dried cows and baby cows and blow dried cows. Did I already say that? I love blow dried cows.
Student 2: do you have a cow fetish?
Student 1: yes. Yes I do.
(This is the second person who I have heard say this, and I said something this time lol)
Random student: "Swimming isn't an ab workout."
Me: "BOI, go do a 100 butterfly and say that again!"
I had to do back to back 50s in my swim thing.
I was 11.
FEEL THE BUUUUUUUUUUURN
Here's just random quotes from Drama Club:
"Do you have an amputee fetish?"
"No, I have an Augustus Waters fetish."
"MoXiE!"
"Eat ass and smoke grass."
"Did….did you and him….DO THE SEX? BEFORE THE MARRIAGE?"
"Your majesty!"
"It's emperor, bitch!"
"Okay, Emperor Bitch."
"You go from cringey and edgy Republican to stereotypical Gen Z and it gives me whiplash."
"I don't need my boyfriend hearing you shoved a shoe up my ass!"
"You can be President of the Light. It's a puppet presidency."
"ANAGRAM!"
ok so I got some weird ones bc people at my school are weird so here you go my friends
1:
friend: gasps! :0 oh my god!! whose kid is that?? :D
my bro: it's a fetus
my bro: whose fetus is that?
(the kid was like 2 and he was the son of someone who graduated last year!!^^)
2:
friend: spots my brother oh- is that a potato I see- spots me oh! both potatoes are here!!
3: (ok, this one is bc the teacher said great things, not a student, but shhh)
art teacher: it's ok if you don't go to your other classes, you can skip them, but always try to make it to art!!
me: I can skip the other classes?
art teacher: yes, tell them I said you could.
"LGBT stands for Let's Get This Bread!!"
"Wait a minute…"
"I think I've successfully convinced [freshman trumpet] that I don't exist outside of marching band."
"May I steal your food?"
"No."
"So 'no' as in 'no problem'?" proceeds to reach over and take a few potato chips
"May I steal your food?"
"No."
"So 'no' as in 'no problem'?" proceeds to reach over and take a few potato chips
I need to use this.
"May I steal your food?"
"No."
"So 'no' as in 'no problem'?" proceeds to reach over and take a few potato chipsI need to use this.
I need to make sure my sibling never knows or uses this.
"May I steal your food?"
"No."
"So 'no' as in 'no problem'?" proceeds to reach over and take a few potato chipsI need to use this.
I need to make sure my sibling never knows or uses this.
XD sameeeeee
"Does anyone ever just wanna like…..scream?"
"You failed No-Nut November!"
"…….that's what she said……"
(We were playing Ultimate Frisbee)
Someone: Frick, we have all the short people!
Me: I wish Benjamin was here…
Someone: Yeah.
Benjamin: walks in
Our short people team: celebrates
Friend (over text:): Dragon ball Z, Dragon ball x, there are so many dragon balls…
Me: O-O
Friend: That is NOT what i meant
"The sexiest dragon feet."
"Ack! My forehead hurts"
me: I wanna die…….
looks outside
Me: SCREW DEATH THERES A FRUCKIN PUPPY OUTSIDE!
My friend: Screeches
Me: "Gay."
Him: "Oreo."
Me: "Simon!"
Him: "LOVE!!"
me: I wanna die…….
looks outside
Me: SCREW DEATH THERES A FRUCKIN PUPPY OUTSIDE!
Meee
Me: KILL ME PLEASE!
Destiny: No, I’m to lazy.
"WE'RE NOT BOWLING, SAM, WE'RE PLAYING ULTIMATE FRISBEE!" (me @ classmate during P.E.)
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