forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

If you're comfortable sharing, what have the meds taken away that you're not okay with?

well, I’m not even fully sure if the meds have anything to do with it
I’m just kind of guessing cause that seems most likely

I don’t really know how to explain, I feel like some of my stubbornness and motivation to stick to certain thoughts in my head and not let things change for the worse is disappearing slowly which I don’t like
that probably doesn’t make sense
I’ll word it better when I’m not panicking

Currently walking into the therapy building place
The more papers I fill the scarier it gets-
I have a bad feeling about this…

You think your day was bad? I went on to my therapy zoom with the username Fuck Off. Needless to say, I got my ass handed to me for that.

Wow, so edgy. Being a fuckwad to the person doing their best to help you. Excellent job.

I should clarify. I did not set that as my username because I was going to therapy. I had it like that because I was playing a game with my friends on zoom and the host changed my name to that and I forgot to change it back.

Oh oof

Yeah sorry I wasn’t being a douche I was just being a forgetful idiot and now I feel really bad.

ok
therapy session over
she stuck to the depression topic and didn’t ask any scary questions so I think we’re good
breathe, ella, b r e a t h e-

Time to murder my brother
He called Japanese 'anime language'

My brain is going very fast but not really actually thinking about anything? Brain, what are you doing

I feel that

Brain: SOOOOONG I AM SINGING 🎵🎶
Brain: >:D twice as fast
Brain: Ooh markers, can't wait for them to come
Brain: Wait, still many days
Brain: What if we can't do art when they get here
Repeat at light speed

I feel that a lot

I used to get that before going to sleep but melatonin helped.

maybe I’ll explain, maybe I won’t, I don’t want anyone trying to change me
but I’ve done research, I know what I’m doing, it’ll all be okay. Don’t worry.

You scare me sometimes.

ok
therapy session over
she stuck to the depression topic and didn’t ask any scary questions so I think we’re good
breathe, ella, b r e a t h e-

Glad to hear.

I hate the orthodontist

I had to buy a new phone charger yesterday I didn't realize that the one I bought was like ridiculously short until I took it out of the package. Today I went to see if I could get like a refund or something like that. So I get to the customer service and the cashier is just talking to a customer about some guy who kept parking in her parking space and I'm like just standing there like????
Finally she acknowledges me and I start explaining the problem, and I'm not even finish explaining myself and she tells me I should be able to get a refund or an exchange if I go and talk to the people in the electronics section. And I'm like "but I don't have the box" and she was like "Yeah, that's not a problem." So I go and do that but the people in the electronics section tell me that I need to have the box (which I didn't have because the only way to get this stupid charger out of the box was to fucking rip it to shreds).

Like I can understand needing to have the box and that, but if you're working in customer service isn't it your job to know that? Or to at least be somewhat familiar with return/ exchange policies? So now I'm pissed because I've just spent a stupid amount of money on a phone charger because I wasn't able to get a refund, or a discount or literally anything despite being told that wouldn't be a problem. The customer service lady was STILL talking with the same customer about her stupid parking space as I was paying for the new charger. Like, don't you have anything better to do? Like idk, maybe learning a little more about the store's policies on returns???? Just a thought???

maybe I’ll explain, maybe I won’t, I don’t want anyone trying to change me
but I’ve done research, I know what I’m doing, it’ll all be okay. Don’t worry.

You scare me sometimes.

I scare myself sometimes too
but it’s ok
I even got my mom to hide my craft knife so I can’t do anything too stupid anymore
it’s all good and I’m feeling much better since earlier
no need to worry

Good.

nobody told me that grief physically takes something out of you

I hate the orthodontist

mood

ok
therapy session over
she stuck to the depression topic and didn’t ask any scary questions so I think we’re good
breathe, ella, b r e a t h e-

That's good! I hope everything goes well <3

so this definitely isn't the most important vent out there but I am Uncomfy(tm)

I have to go to my brother's Catholic confirmation, which is already Something since I'm a queer leftist prochoice wiccan but anyways

I mentioned today that I don't know what I'm going to wear and my mom immediately says "you're going to wear that green dress!"

there are a few problems with this

1. I like being androgynous and dresses don't really do that for me
2. I haven't worn a color other than black in…… so long and I don't intend on doing so now
3. The dress in question accentuates The Chesticles which I definitely don't want

and I don't know how to tell my mom I don't want to wear it

my best friend is making me a black vintage skirt because he's amazing so I'll probably just end up wearing that and a dress shirt since it seems like I won't get away with wearing pants
but my mom will not be happy

Sit towards the back and in an uncrowded pew, confirmations are long and they get stuffy fast.
I don't really have advice for the dress bit though, sorry :(

I didn't even go to my own confirmation, I had a panic attack and couldn't go in. I ended up just doing it privately a month later.