I don't know what I can-
I'm the president of GSA so I can't leave them.
We have a huge thing coming up in Art Club so I can't walk away from them.
And if I wanna be in the running for state, I can't leave Speech and Debate either.
My AP classes are all so important and crucial to getting into a good college out of state
And my band, I can't leave them without a bassist-
Try to tell them whats going on. Like explain to them how you're managing all these clubs, your band and AP classes all at the same time. Maybe that way you could stay in them, but they'll be more sympathetic and understand that some things are more important than others, while you can still be in them, just decrease your activity level in them a little?
Sorry im not much help, I dont take AP classes and only do one extracurricular activity, so I have no clue what to do.
It may be that although you can't drop anything entirely, you can kind of lessen parts of it. Maybe devote less practice time to the bass, work on smaller more manageable art projects, rely on other GSA officers for help with club functions.
And let me let you in on a little secret: AP classes aren't as important as the schools make you think. I took nine total. Fucking NINE. Because that's what people told me I had to do. You only need a few to let colleges know you're prepared, and even then, it's not as vital as you might be led to believe. So putting so much time and energy into APs is not as important as people are going to make you think. Honestly, that's one of the things that made my last couple of years in high school so miserable, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
If anything slips a bit, I promise it will be okay. In your clubs, you have friends who should understand you're juggling a lot.
And really, in the grand scheme of things, high school doesn't matter as much as everyone says it does. You're doing great, and you definitely have room to take a break or make mistakes.
Warning: walk of depression and age regression.
Spoiler - click to show.
okay so we love how one of my ex's ( who only wanted me for the dirty) . He was the one who was saying I was using him. I have guy friends. One of them is now my boyfriend, and I JUST got back into a good mindset and then everything falls back out of place. My mental state keep regressing and my depression is getting worse. I'm trying to do better for myself. but its not working.
I'm absolutely sick of the misfortune that's struck my family this year.
Two deaths. My grandfather, then my dad. Three if you count my finance's grandmother. My grandma is now in the hospital. My mom's car just died and we don't have a ton of room for additional financial strain.
I'm just not here for this.
And it's even harder bc it's making me feel immense guilt for not liking my mom, for feeling disconnected from some of my family. And as you can imagine, I'm having large anxiety that other people I care about possibly dying.
On top of all the major emotional strains, it's so many little annoyances that just kind of push you over the edge and make you want to scream.
Also super annoyed with the whole "haha, 2020 sucked, ammirite? Worst year ever!" as if the pandemic isn't still going on. (For those who truly struggled with life things, with mental health, etc, that's not about you.) Meanwhile, 2021 has legitimately been the worst fucking year of my life and I wouldn't wish most of it on my worst enemy. And idk how to explain to people that I'm going through a lot, and I seriously need a break.
I also… don't really like some of my college friends very much anymore. I feel like I do try to be very present for other people, but I don't feel like I can rely on them in return. It's so much harder to cope with bad times when your support system is small.
I feel like an ass for not wanting to talk to my mom <3
But also she said something that really really slighted me earlier (that's part of a bigger pattern) and I'm just. Over it.
Emotional neglect is a bitch because you can't really… pinpoint it very well sometimes? It's what they're not doing. But also my mom does kind of try to control my decisions a lot even though I'm 22 years old.
But yeah, with all that's happening between us, I'm really missing my dad right now. He took pride in everything I did without finding fault, and more importantly, he trusted me. I just. I don't have anyone else who can ever fulfill what my dad was to me. Other people can support me in similar ways, sure, but no one will ever be him. And with the way my mom is (and has always been) I miss him. I still need him. There was so much I was looking forward to sharing with him.
—TW: mention of suicidal thoughts,death and self harm—
Spoiler - click to show.
I finally snapped. I yelled at my stepmom yesterday about how I never get to do anything such as 1) have a phone 2) go out with my friends 3) read or write without her saying something about it. So I finally snapped at her yesterday and said how I feel which ended up me screaming that I don't care about anyone in my house because they act like they don't care about me, then she blamed me for constantly playing the victim in our house and acting like I want to die all the time and that conversation ended up with me screaming "I want to die! And its everyone in this fucking house faults!" and slammed my bedroom door shut and she said that without her and my dad I would still be living with my mom, then went on to attack my mom for being abusive and went to rub in how much better of a parent she is compared to my mom and i just relapsed after that, I had been doing so good I hadn't cut in seven months and now it's all down the fucking drain. Im so fucking done with everything right now, I don't even want to go to practice for the writing team later.
I feel like an ass for not wanting to talk to my mom <3
But also she said something that really really slighted me earlier (that's part of a bigger pattern) and I'm just. Over it.
Emotional neglect is a bitch because you can't really… pinpoint it very well sometimes? It's what they're not doing. But also my mom does kind of try to control my decisions a lot even though I'm 22 years old.
But yeah, with all that's happening between us, I'm really missing my dad right now. He took pride in everything I did without finding fault, and more importantly, he trusted me. I just. I don't have anyone else who can ever fulfill what my dad was to me. Other people can support me in similar ways, sure, but no one will ever be him. And with the way my mom is (and has always been) I miss him. I still need him. There was so much I was looking forward to sharing with him.
Raise a glass to the future, mate. They can’t keep us down forever. You can find what you need some day.
I have some wonderful parental figures that aren't my own parents, but I still sometimes mourn what I don't have.
But yeah. You're right. I have a lot to look forward to, even in the near future.
A roleplay has got me genuinely emotional and I think we just split so now we've got an rp character
literally sitting here having a mental breakdown because I feel guilty for hating my life and my parents when both could be so much worse.
Just because your situation isn't the worst it could be doesn't mean it's not bad.
Been there. It's a bad thought process to have.
i'm so sorry man. i've been there, but they do care, and if they don't you need new friends.
but living is worth it for tons of reasons, like. if you die you'll never smell popcorn again or eat your favourite food again or you might miss the release of some hella good music.
i don't really know what to say, but sewerslide isn't worth everything that you'll miss and the chance that someday you'll be able to love life again.
How come, when it feels like something is going right in my life any tiny crack I can spot turns into a giant canyon of misery
When Miserable is your normal, prolonged periods of happy make you feel like your walking on eggshells because you feel it's not going to last. So you end up living in a state of anxiety that eventually results in a small thing registering as something bigger than it actually is, and your reaction to said thing than makes it a big thing. Part of that being because you would rather have that happy state leave because of a reason you spotted than it fall over something you weren't expecting, because it gives you a glimpse of control in a life you feel is far from in your control.
That's how it works for me anyway,
Not sure if it's the reason it happens to you, But I understand you.
When Miserable is your normal, prolonged periods of happy make you feel like your walking on eggshells because you feel it's not going to last. So you end up living in a state of anxiety that eventually results in a small thing registering as something bigger than it actually is, and your reaction to said thing than makes it a big thing. Part of that being because you would rather have that happy state leave because of a reason you spotted than it fall over something you weren't expecting, because it gives you a glimpse of control in a life you feel is far from in your control.
That's how it works for me anyway,
Not sure if it's the reason it happens to you, But I understand you.
I experience this all the time as well, it can be exhausting but you kind of cant shake it—
i'm barely passing biology with a 70% and my mum wants me to do better, as parents do, because this is the best i've been able to get my grades in a long time. i have all a's except that c-
and i'm supposed to be doing my work right now, but i can't. i can't bring myself to do it. she didn't care last year if i got by with a low c because all my grades were as poor as that.
she doesn't listen when i tell her that i'm struggling to do my work because of my mental health and then gets mad at me for having bad grades. i don't know what she wants from me, if she can't help me get the help i need then she shouldn't expect much.
I'm going to be leaving notebook, not many of you will care or miss me. And that's fine. I will give you my snap and or discord if you wish to still speak to me ,but please if anything else I'll give my phone number. Thank you for the memories and thank you for all of the bonds I've made.
their username was like. i-wish-tom-hiddleston-was-my-husband i don't remember what exactly what is was but i've seen them around
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