forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift
Started by @The-N-U-T-Cracker
tune

people_alt 147 followers

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

TW: substance abuse again

Haha yo do ya get the fog machine pun now? haha fun e

@EtherealDreamer

venting about my day and self hatred and stuff so watch out–

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

Tw for substance abuse

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

TW: extreme guilt, m@nipulation/r@pe, self hate

@Max_Miracle_DroppedMostOfTheirRPs

I hate that I’m so sensitive. I know I just look like a baby when I express that something’s hurt my feelings. I have a tougher skin now then I used to but one of the things I’m very sensitive about is my gender identity. I don’t feel like I’m perceived as masculine at all outside of my friend group lol. And normally my friends are good at supporting me but today (and yes I know how dumb this is) my partner and one of my friends started making fun of me and saying that I wouldn’t be able to top anyone besides my partner, and that’s just because they’re ace. It hurt to be perceived that way, it made me feel really weak and they both laughed. I also have an issue with anger management issues so I took a moment to collect myself so I wouldn’t get upset at anyone. And then after a few minutes I was feeling more in control, but still hurt. So I gently let my partner know that what they said had actually hurt me. And I said that yes, I knew it was stupid, but it bothered me anyway. And they did apologize but agreed that it was dumb and fragile of me. They then went on to point out how I’d also gotten upset when they grew taller than me and how they’d found it funny and immature. Even though they know my height is also something that bothers me greatly, and they rubbed it in my face when they outgrew me. So now I just feel worse than I did before. I feel weak and I hate it.

@EtherealDreamer

I hate that I’m so sensitive. I know I just look like a baby when I express that something’s hurt my feelings. I have a tougher skin now then I used to but one of the things I’m very sensitive about is my gender identity. I don’t feel like I’m perceived as masculine at all outside of my friend group lol. And normally my friends are good at supporting me but today (and yes I know how dumb this is) my partner and one of my friends started making fun of me and saying that I wouldn’t be able to top anyone besides my partner, and that’s just because they’re ace. It hurt to be perceived that way, it made me feel really weak and they both laughed. I also have an issue with anger management issues so I took a moment to collect myself so I wouldn’t get upset at anyone. And then after a few minutes I was feeling more in control, but still hurt. So I gently let my partner know that what they said had actually hurt me. And I said that yes, I knew it was stupid, but it bothered me anyway. And they did apologize but agreed that it was dumb and fragile of me. They then went on to point out how I’d also gotten upset when they grew taller than me and how they’d found it funny and immature. Even though they know my height is also something that bothers me greatly, and they rubbed it in my face when they outgrew me. So now I just feel worse than I did before. I feel weak and I hate it.

may I please point out that no matter how childish people or your partner think you are, your concerns and emotions are still valid, because honestly as a enby who is built really feminine, I completely get it.

And height is another thing I hate myself for as well, being a mere five foot, I feel nothing about me is andro enough, from my curves (gross) to my abnormally small height (also gross)

but even if they thinks is immature and what not they shouldn't make fun of you for it al all.
So you did nothing wrong.

@Max_Miracle_DroppedMostOfTheirRPs

I brought it up again (aka apologized for being sensitive) and they were confused on what I meant, and when I explained they said that I shouldn’t ever apologize for expressing and feeling my feelings. So yeah uhhhh that went well lol. It really seems like we were just goofing around and they made a comment they didn’t intend to be hurtful.

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

I age regress as a coping mechanism to deal with my trauma, but I have no caregiver and I’m terrified to regress around my friends out of fear of being seen as weird or annoying. It’s a 100% non-sexual thing, but I’m scared they’ll misinterpret it. I tend to get very clingy when I’m small, and I’m very very nervous about pretty much everything. I’m just super scared to do it around them, but when I regress by myself I get really really lonely and sad. It doesn’t help that I use a baby voice or don’t talk at all and just communicate through noises, and my spelling and grammar go straight out the window. I feel a big ol cry coming on

@EtherealDreamer

I age regress as a coping mechanism to deal with my trauma, but I have no caregiver and I’m terrified to regress around my friends out of fear of being seen as weird or annoying. It’s a 100% non-sexual thing, but I’m scared they’ll misinterpret it. I tend to get very clingy when I’m small, and I’m very very nervous about pretty much everything. I’m just super scared to do it around them, but when I regress by myself I get really really lonely and sad. It doesn’t help that I use a baby voice or don’t talk at all and just communicate through noises, and my spelling and grammar go straight out the window. I feel a big ol cry coming on

honestly, just googled a bunch of stuff about this entire thing, and age regression is really interesting.

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

I age regress as a coping mechanism to deal with my trauma, but I have no caregiver and I’m terrified to regress around my friends out of fear of being seen as weird or annoying. It’s a 100% non-sexual thing, but I’m scared they’ll misinterpret it. I tend to get very clingy when I’m small, and I’m very very nervous about pretty much everything. I’m just super scared to do it around them, but when I regress by myself I get really really lonely and sad. It doesn’t help that I use a baby voice or don’t talk at all and just communicate through noises, and my spelling and grammar go straight out the window. I feel a big ol cry coming on

honestly, just googled a bunch of stuff about this entire thing, and age regression is really interesting.

Yeah, it gets confused with ddlg a lot which is really really unfortunate since age regression is used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people (myself included) and ddlg is a k!nk- makes me feel very very uncomfy

@EtherealDreamer

I age regress as a coping mechanism to deal with my trauma, but I have no caregiver and I’m terrified to regress around my friends out of fear of being seen as weird or annoying. It’s a 100% non-sexual thing, but I’m scared they’ll misinterpret it. I tend to get very clingy when I’m small, and I’m very very nervous about pretty much everything. I’m just super scared to do it around them, but when I regress by myself I get really really lonely and sad. It doesn’t help that I use a baby voice or don’t talk at all and just communicate through noises, and my spelling and grammar go straight out the window. I feel a big ol cry coming on

honestly, just googled a bunch of stuff about this entire thing, and age regression is really interesting.

Yeah, it gets confused with ddlg a lot which is really really unfortunate since age regression is used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people (myself included) and ddlg is a k!nk- makes me feel very very uncomfy

okay so would it be weird if I like personally messaged you and asked age regression related questions and tuff, or is that to personal?

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

I age regress as a coping mechanism to deal with my trauma, but I have no caregiver and I’m terrified to regress around my friends out of fear of being seen as weird or annoying. It’s a 100% non-sexual thing, but I’m scared they’ll misinterpret it. I tend to get very clingy when I’m small, and I’m very very nervous about pretty much everything. I’m just super scared to do it around them, but when I regress by myself I get really really lonely and sad. It doesn’t help that I use a baby voice or don’t talk at all and just communicate through noises, and my spelling and grammar go straight out the window. I feel a big ol cry coming on

honestly, just googled a bunch of stuff about this entire thing, and age regression is really interesting.

Yeah, it gets confused with ddlg a lot which is really really unfortunate since age regression is used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people (myself included) and ddlg is a k!nk- makes me feel very very uncomfy

okay so would it be weird if I like personally messaged you and asked age regression related questions and tuff, or is that to personal?

Nah, it’s fine, I appreciate that you’re educating yourself and asking questions instead of just assuming things like most people do- Ask away!

@Nicolo_Needs_A_Nap

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it makes me reaaaaaaaaaaaaly uncofrotable being called reed and mmmmmmm
like, I'm not even Hill, but I'd rather be called Hill than Reed.
Reed went into dormancy and Hill is our host now, but being called Reed is just,,, bad

@michael_rainer_eats_uranium group

I age regress as a coping mechanism to deal with my trauma, but I have no caregiver and I’m terrified to regress around my friends out of fear of being seen as weird or annoying. It’s a 100% non-sexual thing, but I’m scared they’ll misinterpret it. I tend to get very clingy when I’m small, and I’m very very nervous about pretty much everything. I’m just super scared to do it around them, but when I regress by myself I get really really lonely and sad. It doesn’t help that I use a baby voice or don’t talk at all and just communicate through noises, and my spelling and grammar go straight out the window. I feel a big ol cry coming on

honestly, just googled a bunch of stuff about this entire thing, and age regression is really interesting.

Yeah, it gets confused with ddlg a lot which is really really unfortunate since age regression is used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people (myself included) and ddlg is a k!nk- makes me feel very very uncomfy

okay so would it be weird if I like personally messaged you and asked age regression related questions and tuff, or is that to personal?

Nah, it’s fine, I appreciate that you’re educating yourself and asking questions instead of just assuming things like most people do- Ask away!

If anyone else has questions, I’d be glad to answer to the best of my ability

@Max_Miracle_DroppedMostOfTheirRPs

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it makes me reaaaaaaaaaaaaly uncofrotable being called reed and mmmmmmm
like, I'm not even Hill, but I'd rather be called Hill than Reed.
Reed went into dormancy and Hill is our host now, but being called Reed is just,,, bad

Do you want us to start calling you Hill then?

@Nicolo_Needs_A_Nap

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it makes me reaaaaaaaaaaaaly uncofrotable being called reed and mmmmmmm
like, I'm not even Hill, but I'd rather be called Hill than Reed.
Reed went into dormancy and Hill is our host now, but being called Reed is just,,, bad

Do you want us to start calling you Hill then?

please
Reed isn't a bad name
but like, he's not here anymore, he's in dormancy
I mean, Hill's on front ban so I'd rather you called us whatever we sign off as but if you have to call us anything, it's either Hill or Fae (as a collective)

Deleted user

Ugh what's up besties? My dad stalked me to my apartment and I'm fearing for my life, at least the appointment for gender went neutral. A bit underwhelming.

@Max_Miracle_DroppedMostOfTheirRPs

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm it makes me reaaaaaaaaaaaaly uncofrotable being called reed and mmmmmmm
like, I'm not even Hill, but I'd rather be called Hill than Reed.
Reed went into dormancy and Hill is our host now, but being called Reed is just,,, bad

Do you want us to start calling you Hill then?

please
Reed isn't a bad name
but like, he's not here anymore, he's in dormancy
I mean, Hill's on front ban so I'd rather you called us whatever we sign off as but if you have to call us anything, it's either Hill or Fae (as a collective)

okay cool! I'll do my best to remember when talking with y'all again :)