forum Your Personal Venting Space 3: Tokyo Drift

Started June 28, 2020 by @The-N-U-T-Cracker

tune

so i have a 2-page essay due

tomorrow

and i haven't started

whats class is it for? what does it have to be on?

one of my friends isn’t doing very well mentally cause their parents are being really hard on him about everything they do and they’ve been bottling everything up and I’m really worried but he keeps telling me there’s nothing I can do and they feel really really distant and I’m really scared that I’m gonna lose him

mmmmmmm sitting in 6 hour therapy, jittery, need to do something but also can't and mmmmmmm
Idk who I am - ???

They're making a TV show out of the same source material used for a musical that's one of my favourite things in the universe and right this minute I couldn't be happier to be alive

ha ha never mind I'm having a tic attack

tried for the creative writing team today after school,

am really scared to make it, because people are gonna be better writers than I am, but I really want to make the team, but at the same time I dont, because I dont want to make it then have my parents make me stay home instead of go to practice and/or competition, because im in trouble.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

one of my friends isn’t doing very well mentally cause their parents are being really hard on him about everything they do and they’ve been bottling everything up and I’m really worried but he keeps telling me there’s nothing I can do and they feel really really distant and I’m really scared that I’m gonna lose him

very very very scared still :) boutta have a panic!

one of my friends isn’t doing very well mentally cause their parents are being really hard on him about everything they do and they’ve been bottling everything up and I’m really worried but he keeps telling me there’s nothing I can do and they feel really really distant and I’m really scared that I’m gonna lose him

very very very scared still :) boutta have a panic!

Breathe and count and don't stop until you are sure you're okay, as for the friend situation, try to talk to said friend about seeing a school counselor

cps visited my house the other day, about my dad offering my brother, who's 11 yrs old, weed, and him offering me weed and alcohol. i have to be interviewed next week about this and it's freaking me out

cps visited my house the other day, about my dad offering my brother, who's 11 yrs old, weed, and him offering me weed and alcohol. i have to be interviewed next week about this and it's freaking me out

would you like to leave? I know that's a stupid question but like– would you like them to do something about your home situation, i'm only asking because I realise not everyone wants to run away/get taken away from their parents like i do so—

everything just came crashing down on me! i'm back on nicotine after 2 weeks without it, i made my friend mad who happens to be my cg, so i cant go into little space to cope without making everything worse, i got rejected, and i made eye contact with the Trauma Giver twice!!!! all in one night!!!! i'm having a grand ol time!!! i feel disgusting!

I’m so tired of always being the person no one checks in on
I’m so tired of being the friend who has to make my own plans because no one ever asks me to hang out
My mom was trying to help me make plans for homecoming and I had to explain that I’m just too tired to. I have too much going on to try to piece together a group of people that’ll probably just ditch me as soon as we get there.
I’m so tired of seeing my friends hanging out and knowing that they never even asked me if I was available
I slept for 12 hours last night, waking up at 2 pm, and no one had checked in on me. No one had messaged me besides my partner.
I’m so upset that besides them, none of the people I actually have the energy to talk to seem to want to talk to me.

I’m so tired of always being the person no one checks in on
I’m so tired of being the friend who has to make my own plans because no one ever asks me to hang out
My mom was trying to help me make plans for homecoming and I had to explain that I’m just too tired to. I have too much going on to try to piece together a group of people that’ll probably just ditch me as soon as we get there.
I’m so tired of seeing my friends hanging out and knowing that they never even asked me if I was available
I slept for 12 hours last night, waking up at 2 pm, and no one had checked in on me. No one had messaged me besides my partner.
I’m so upset that besides them, none of the people I actually have the energy to talk to seem to want to talk to me.

Dude, I made a post like this a while ago, but I relate SO hard. Like, for a while, I just didn't text anybody. I didn't reach out because I was tired being the only one that felt committed in our relationship, and nobody cared. Nobody ever started a conversation with me. But like, the moment I ever say that I have no friends, suddenly everybody acts like they give a shit

I completely understand what you guys are talking about like that was me for a long time, I used to do this thing where I would wait for one of my friends to start talking to me before I would talk to anyone called it something like a "True friend test" or something, very unhealthy, didn't do good things for me, would not recommend . You're emotions are valid and it sucks to feel that way.

This kind of thinking is going to rip your mental health to shreds. What I think you're doing is putting effort and attention into relationships that the other people don't intend to return, nor can they. A really great visualizer for this concept is a quart jar and a cup. If you, the quart jar, are pouring everything you have into the cup or another person/ friend, it's going to over flow. the cup physically can't hold it all, so when you're asking for the same amount of effort back they give you what they've got but it's only a cup, everything they have is going to leave you feeling empty. There is nothing wrong with being a jar or being a cup, both have their place, both are necessary, but as a Jar you have to understand that you can't give the whole quart of friend ship to a cup and expect the same thing back. Some relationships are cups, in fact most relationships are cups, so you can't give your all to everyone, you can't expect everyone to give their all to you, or maybe their all just isn't the same as yours. It's not healthy, it will have you feeling alone, unseen, unappreciated, and empty.

That's not your fault, we want to give our all in friend ships, I know I do, and usually we're not taught how to balance relationships, but there has to be balance or it's unhealthy, and draining. If you do it enough, you end up not having enough energy to fill a cup, We get emotional burn out. Then you have to take a step back and recharge and that means losing people and relationships ending . Some of those can be rekindled, some people will stay by you when you can't give them anything and help you refill, and that's amazing but it doesn't always happen. Some times it is a very very slow process of self care and taking care of yourself emotionally and you refill that energy drip by agonizing drip. It Sucks, but if you don't take care of yourself you have to do that and you have to let a lot of people go, or they'll let go of you, and it's really really painful.

There are always going to be people who want to be casual friends that you desperately want to be close friends with, you can't be close friends with every body, some people will only ever see you as a casual friend for one reason or another no matter how hard you try, and eventually that trying is going to rip apart your mental health. I'm not telling you to stop being friends with people. I'm recommending you do some thinking and figure out if these relationships are cups or jars, and if they are cups, only give them a cup of effort. I am Recommending you look at yourself and see if you have anything to give right now or if you need to step back and refill for a while.

But I mean at the end of the day I am not a professional, nor am I studying to become one. I am a random person on the internet who has had experience and is attempting to share it. All that really matters is what ever helps you.

Thanks for all the input y’all I really appreciate it. I really love your analogy @Relsey so thanks for that
It really seems that it’s people I thought I was close friends with that don’t ever check in on me.
And I’ve realized I mostly have come to all these revelations because I’m sick and can’t be doing anything. Unfortunately it reminds me of something my therapist said in our last session about how I’m always looking for something productive to do and how for me that may be a trauma response and honestly I think she’s right. If I’m not doing something I feel like I’m drowning. Soooooo yeah. I’m gonna try and take some steps towards at least getting more respect in my friendships. And thank you for responding, this really does mean a lot to me.

Nice @Relsey

One of my closest friends isnt doing well. He’s always down, and he’s not talking to me or answering my texts. I’m really scared that he might to something. I’m pretty sure you can guess what I’m talking about.

mmmmmm so I've already fucked up again
its something stupid, and totally my fault, and not something I'm at all the victim for
I just didn't think, and I'm so overwhelmed that I can't plan anything right, and now my partner's upset, and I've put them in an inconvenient situation
and I just….I thought I couldn't be even more of an idiot this week but here we are and I'm 100% to blame and I'm crying and panicking and there's nothing I can do

Okayyyyyyyyy I lived! I problem solved and they forgive me! I'm lucky to have such a nice and understanding partner

Jesus Christ I swear I'm burning out.

God, at 15 nonetheless… how pathetic is that??

I have 3 ap classes, 3 clubs, countless writings and drawings to finish, a band to prepare for an upcoming show-

I just can't- I can't manage anymore, especially with my bipolar depression on top of all it

But I have to if I want to get out of this state

I feel so unsafe where I live.

I don't feel happy or safe where I am and I need to power through all this right now so I can get out of here

I just-

I don't know what to do

Jesus Christ I swear I'm burning out.

God, at 15 nonetheless… how pathetic is that??

I have 3 ap classes, 3 clubs, countless writings and drawings to finish, a band to prepare for an upcoming show-

I just can't- I can't manage anymore, especially with my bipolar depression on top of all it

But I have to if I want to get out of this state

I feel so unsafe where I live.

I don't feel happy or safe where I am and I need to power through all this right now so I can get out of here

I just-

I don't know what to do

im sorry.

I honestly dont think its pathetic.

If you're stressed, my situation is kind of the same, in some aspects relating to working hard do I can get out of here, and i'm not comparing our situations, and i'm not saying mine is worse than yours, but I think you should talk to someone like a school counselor, I know it really helped me when I first started feeling burnt out, with everything at home, school and other aspects of life, it really helped me talking to an adult who knew hardly anything about me, and who's job is to help me.

Jesus Christ I swear I'm burning out.

God, at 15 nonetheless… how pathetic is that??

I have 3 ap classes, 3 clubs, countless writings and drawings to finish, a band to prepare for an upcoming show-

I just can't- I can't manage anymore, especially with my bipolar depression on top of all it

But I have to if I want to get out of this state

I feel so unsafe where I live.

I don't feel happy or safe where I am and I need to power through all this right now so I can get out of here

I just-

I don't know what to do

I can tell you now, I went through the exact same thing when I was younger, but hufflepuff is right. Talk to someone. If you want the confidentiality, then a school/licensed counselor is probably what you want to do, but sometimes a friend is good too. And when I was going through all that, I kept it bottled up when I wish I hadn't. Looking back, I realized that I probably did more damage than good and I took it mostly out on this website. While I doubt I can compare our experiences, I cannot emphasize this enough… Talk To Someone! As a counselor in training (That does not mean I can help 100%, I'm just starting out), but as someone who is going to school for it, I can tell you, sometimes, just talking it out to a neutral party helps a hell of a lot more than keeping it all inside.

But the thing is, I don't trust these counselors at the school. Both of my parents work in the school district. The counselors are close with my parents. How do I know they won't blab about me to my parents, who are the last people I want to know about all this. Plus, I can guarantee that the counselors would tell me to drop one of my AP classes or one of my clubs, I cannot do that-

I read a thing about juggling responsibilities, like in a literal way. Some things you're juggling are glass and some are bouncy. You kinda have to pick and choose what you can drop, even if it's temporary. AP classes are very important, and grades are a struggle to get back up if they start to slip, so those are probably more "breakable" things, while maybe some of your clubs are "bouncy" things that can be stepped away from to catch up, then picked up again. I don't know the entirety of your situation or which things are most important to you, but if you're burning out you have to change something or risk everything falling apart (including your mental health).

Maybe there's some online counseling or such? School counselors aren't exactly the most reliable or sworn to confidentiality so I wouldn't trust that either.

I don't know what I can-

I'm the president of GSA so I can't leave them.
We have a huge thing coming up in Art Club so I can't walk away from them.
And if I wanna be in the running for state, I can't leave Speech and Debate either.

My AP classes are all so important and crucial to getting into a good college out of state

And my band, I can't leave them without a bassist-