thank <3
but i
i thought this would heal me
i guess not.
because i can just hear ethan reading the words to himself in his head
as he wrote them that night
Trina never existed. At least, not the Trina you knew. The real Trina was dying, and struggling to hold on for dear life. The real Trina was very moody and hard to approach, much like Taiga from Toradora.
so here i am
at 1230pm
really fucking missing trina
trying to listen to the one song that i can relate to with this but im not sure its helping much
maybe ill listen to the comfort song
perhaps it will help me feel better
i dont know
i just feel
empty
You've been through a lot lately Iz; it's okay to just… shut down and feel empty right now. Let yourself process. You can still grieve the loss of Trina and celebrate that you still have Ethan at the same time.
Holy shit Izzy, I'm so happy for you!!
i’m scared i’ll have a panic attack during his memorial service today
the service is in 15 minutes. i don't feel ready
update: i didn't have a panic attack! i did sob for 2 hours straight, but i did not have a panic attack
good job! I know losing someone can be really tough but you can get through it, i believe in you
Random question: So, I learned that a friend of mine (Whose a year older and thus at college) is back in town for Christmas and I want to give her a gift. Said friend is a Disney fan. Is it dorky to give her a little jar of origami stars and a tag that says "They say when you wish upon a star your dreams come true, so here are a few stars for a rainy day"? I know Christmas is only a few days away and I'm worried I won't get it done in time, but I already have a few done.
Random question: So, I learned that a friend of mine (Whose a year older and thus at college) is back in town for Christmas and I want to give her a gift. Said friend is a Disney fan. Is it dorky to give her a little jar of origami stars and a tag that says "They say when you wish upon a star your dreams come true, so here are a few stars for a rainy day"? I know Christmas is only a few days away and I'm worried I won't get it done in time, but I already have a few done.
That's not dorky at all, it's adorable and I'm absolutely positive that she'll love it!
I'm currently having a mini panic/stress attack….
My family (parents and myself) thought that we were going to do 1 guys gift and 1 girls gift for Christmas again this year. Turns out that my sisters already bought gifts for everyone, and now I have until the 24th (we're doing Christmas that day) to get 8 people gifts!!!!!
Just found out that one of my sisters tested positive for Covid, which puts our Christmas on hold…. It sucks, but at least I now have time to try to get gifts for people!
s-so i saw this on my feed,,,
i-
i immediately
went to
trina
as i look as this again
i realise
i really
have not been strengthened
all i have learned
is what grief is
what grief really is
all i have learned
is how much
i really depend on my friends
to get me through life
Hnnng I just woke up from the worst nightmare I've had in a while
I was at some kind of convention with my family. There was an exhibit where I guess you could like play minecraft irl or something? And my brothers and I were like "heck yeah minecraft great" and we went for it. No idea where our parents went but it's a nightmare ig, it's just supposed to be scary. Anyways we're having a great time until this floating block starts appearing and chasing us, making weird wheezing noises. We think it's a glitched blaze and book it every time, and it just keeps chasing us–no fire or anything. Eventually, it catches me and the top opens up to reveal that it's some guy in a cardboard box. The guy grabs me by the wrists and starts dragging me off.
Meanwhile I'm screaming my head off, terrified and trying to get loose but I just can't and eventually he takes me to an "employees only" area and then to another door. Before we go inside, I scream at one guy that I don't know this man please help and he kind of looks shocked and runs off. The guy that grabbed me looks at me and says "stop making a scene, I'm not going to hurt you" and I'm yelling at him like "WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO ASSUME WHEN I'M FUCKING ABDUCTED YOU DICKHEAD" and then he basically hands me over to this other lady while he goes into another room to change. He comes back after a bit with a lanyard/badge on this time(I guess before that, staff wasn't required to wear one for some reason?) and gives one to the lady while an announcement plays saying that "for your safety, our staff will be wearing blue lanyards so you can tell they're staff" or something, even though the guest lanyards were blue too.
Anyways they haul me off to another private room where there's a bunch of people and cameras and I'm still terrified. The two people that were "escorting" me shove me down onto the ground and pin me there while this guy gets in my face and starts asking me questions. Turns out it's Dream. He's getting frustrated with my crying and screaming and saying things like "It's not that hard, do you like my SMP or not?! Answer the question, it's not that hard!" and I'm sobbing and saying "YES BUT I'VE BEEN BROUGHT HERE AGAINST MY WILL PLEASE HELP ME I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE"
There's a bit that I don't really remember, but somehow I got away from them and was running down the convention halls, asking people for help and if they'd seen my parents. Nobody was taking me seriously at all. Then I finally ran into someone who listens and she pages my mom over the PA system. The next thing that happens in the dream is I guess I'm watching YouTube and guess what? That bit with me and Dream was livestreamed, I'm all over the internet as a crying mess. It's absolutely ending Dream's career, too, and I'm just sitting there shocked because nobody in the entire convention believed me, but all these people on YouTube are like "You should have known something was wrong when she started yelling 'I DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE' you stupid bitch"
Anyways then I woke up and cried
my parents got tested for covid and my dad's came back positive
Yikes. I hope everything turns out alright for you guys.
you ever just really need one or two very specific people because they're the ones you trust the most to come hug you and tell you everything's going to be okay in the middle of the night (or not the middle of the night? it's 3.30am, so closer to early morning) even though they live several thousand miles away >_>
i just know their touch would be very comforting and my favourite person would definitely be able to make me feel better almost instantly just by talking to me which is his magic and aa
if only i could actually just
be with them ;;
happy vent: aggGGghhh i finally found myself a romantic partner and i'm so happy ;;
this is probably the only healthy relationship i've been in for a looong time oh boy
i'm just so frickin excited rn and my energy is through the roof once again :D
Sooooo me shaving part of my eyebrow has ruined everyone’s day apparently
And I do feel bad, I never meant to make my parents upset I just wanted to try something cool. And it would help me do things impulsively, which is something my anxiety prevents me from doing.
I’m really not trying to play the victim but it seems like I am and I just don’t know what to do.
I never wanted to be a problem.
So, we are doing our yearly Christmas movie and I just sat down and got to work on my photos that are due today and my mom got pissed at me for just sitting there. Apparently I literally can do nothing and still piss my mom off
