please tell us the worst that has happened
there were many things, and I really don't know what was worse, so I'll give you two:
Our first year we had an intruder on campus drill and my class was in the band room. This being a new school for most of us, we had no idea what we were supposed to do, since most hand't been in a band room during this kind of drill. So, naturally, we just kind of stood there, some kids got under chairs and some tables, trying to hide and whatnot, but then the band teacher came out of the office and noticed that the vast majority of students were just standing around like a bunch of useless paperclips. He litterally smacked the whiteboard and yelled "What do you think you're doing? Do you want to get shot? Hide! Act like you've done this before!" And everyone started to find places to hide in the class. And trust me when I tell you that if you give a bunch of freshmen students a huge bandroom with dozens of cabinets and crawl spaces that will make themselves g o n e. Within a matter of minutes, our entire class had hidden themselves in the trombone cabinets, the stand carts, the low woodwind cubbies, and in every possible dark corner that may or may not be portals to dark dimensions. There were two juniors in our class at that time who both played the trombone, and instead of hiding they both stood on either side of the band door holding their instruments. A kid who played the flute and was hiding inside of the percussion cart asked them why they weren't hiding and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments." And like half of the class started to laugh, but the girl in the percussion cabinet just kinda looked at them concerned before proceeding to lock herself in the cart.
Then there was the time that a rat got itself stuck in a sophmore's sousaphone. This kid must have eaten before class a lot or something, because the only reason a rat would have the mindset to go into a shiny metal tube would be for food. The rat, after failing to escape, died of suffocation. The problem was nobody even knew about it until the homecoming football game. We were in the stands playing "Eye Of The Tiger" before the football team came out, and we were doing a suspiciously good job. In the tuba/sousaphone section there is a part of the song where they like to play the notes at fffffffffffffffffffffffff, which is fine with everyone else because we like to get the crowd hyped. We were almost to that point in the song, and everyone was getting progressively louder to try and compete with the tuba/sousaphone's volume, and the crowd was going n u t s (football is really big where I live, so for a band to get a crowd this hyped was as essential as writing your name on a test). The conductor raised his arms to signify the beyond blastissimo part that was bout to come, and everyone hit the notes with all their force. Then you just hear this sound like a cork being popped out of a bottle above the rest of the band and some people stopped playing and then you heard screaming because this sophomore literally BLASTED the dead rat out of his sousaphone and the rat flew onto the football field and the cheerleaders started screaming and the sousaphone player started screaming and basically everyone was screaming.
THESE ARE OFFICIALLY THE BEST STORIES IVE HEARD IN MY LIFE
HOLY FUCK THESE ARE THE BEST STORIES ABOUT BAND I'VE EVER HEARD
A kid who played the flute and was hiding inside of the percussion cart asked them why they weren't hiding and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments." And like half of the class started to laugh, but the girl in the percussion cabinet just kinda looked at them concerned before proceeding to lock herself in the cart.
This is such a flute mood oml
It is for me, at least, lol.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful, wonderful stories.
"How do you spell wappy?" -some kid
The stories are amazing but nO DON’T EVER ATTACK SOMEONE WITH A TROMBONE, THE INSTRUMENTS COULD GET HURT!!!
i was walking down the hall and as i passed this dude he said to the girl with him, "someday i'll die, that's my only comfort" which is a BIG MOOD
i dont have arm enough longs - my bff on new years
I'm really glad y'all like my band stories! We are honestly the worst class and the weirdest stuff always happens to us. If anything real interesting happens I'll be sure to put it up, just look for Band Adventures lmao
In my band class we all hate the band director because he sucks and he's not even a band directer he doesn't play a band instrument, he plays the guitar, any way so he always does these two phrases in a specific kind of voice. when ever he's super flustered he just says "pLeASE SsTooOOOP." and it's super annoying and really predictable. So we're getting ready for a parade and he's talking to us all and one of the percussionist is fiddling with their harness and he says, pLeASE SsTooOOOP." and one of the booster moms is standing right behind him and she mimicked him saying pLeASE SsTooOOOP." right as he said it. So naturally we all bust up laughing and the band directer just keeps saying it so we keep laughing and then we all got lectured at school on Monday but it was worth it.
Today we got CNN 10 back after they were off air for around a month, and as I came out of math class and headed to Social Studies, I hear chanting. Then I get closer and this mob of kids are shouting “Carl Azuz! Carl Azuz!” Then once CNN 10 started, a kid shouted, “I LOVE YOU CARL!”
fuck yeah
Carl Azuz is a god
“I forgot that sausage tastes good”
"On the realz, though. Buy foreign money."
"Oh no. I look like a weeaboo disappointment."
"Yeah man I like juice."
"Wait, why don't you like juice? That shit tasty."
"Nah, nah, man, I said I LIKE juice."
"Oh. What's your favorite kind?"
"Cranberry, man."
"Oh hell nah, that shit dries out my mouth. I like apple."
"Solid, man."
"Maybe if I eat enough Oreos the crumbs in my mouth can represent the crumbling of my soul."
"Do you think the songs from Jesus Christ Superstar count as hymns?"
"Not today, Jesus."
"Um, that's not the phrase"
"Yeah but Satan is daddy."
"Elmo is ABSOLUTELY a communist."
"Hey. Hey kid. You wanna buy some dank memes?"
"All I'm saying is that Larry the cucumber from Veggietales can and will defeat Thanos."
History teacher upon talking about prime time russian communism: ..And to identify communist russia from the russian losers, the commies wore red. So therefore all of you wearing red right now need to get out of my class because this is not communist russia in case you can't tell
Kid from the back of the class: Wait but the US flag has red in it
History teacher: Shut up Gerald.
"KENNEDY!!"
"I don't want another nephew!"
"Oh my god! They killed the Fortnite grass!"
Me- "WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME SNORTIN' POWDER?" In a southern accent
Freindo- How much?
Me- 26 moinies
Heard this sweet thing in the hallway:
“That’s why you fucked a six year old you sick fuck!”
“Oh you know it, I love making sure they get chained up to a wall and molest their slender body.”
both laughing “You sick little shit, I knew it all along!”
the first guy to talk starts dying of laughter when other guy responds “That’s not what you said when you fucked me last night though!”
enter random girl to the conversation “You two are so gay.”
“No, I’m American.”
im literally about to die, I started sprinting.
Random Girl in girls bathroom: (Gases intently into mirror ) "My skin ain't thriving these days which doesn't make sense" (Gases even more intently before backing away from the mirror and doing a hair flip) "Who am I kidding I am gorgeous."
Random Girl in girls bathroom: (Gases intently into mirror ) "My skin ain't thriving these days which doesn't make sense" (Gases even more intently before backing away from the mirror and doing a hair flip) "Who am I kidding I am gorgeous."
Sounds like something I would do
My little sister just told me that her birthday is a tiny broken pencil. I’m trying to figure out the deep meaning behind this and I am CONFUSETH
My little sister just told me that her birthday is a tiny broken pencil. I’m trying to figure out the deep meaning behind this and I am CONFUSETH
Well I read that as she sees her birthday as a small event that once had much potential but had been crushed with disappointment……..or maybe I've been eating to many mushrooms
My little sister just told me that her birthday is a tiny broken pencil. I’m trying to figure out the deep meaning behind this and I am CONFUSETH
wow
a guy in my science class decided to find the density of his hand
its 1.3 grams per milliliter if you were wondering
Teacher was explaining how things lead to another and this girl raised her hand to give an example. "You go to a bar and you get a shot and then you get another shot and another shot and then you get drunk and hook up with Captain America."
Girl asks teacher: "Why do you always talk about your past girlfriends? Like I'm so special I've had tons of girlfriends! What does your wife think of this?"
Other kid: "Why are you asking him that? Are you jealous?"
Whole class: Ooooh snap
kid tries to take desk and chair out of classroom "I don't want to be here!"
Teacher was explaining how things lead to another and this girl raised her hand to give an example. "You go to a bar and you get a shot and then you get another shot and another shot and then you get drunk and hook up with Captain America."
Girl asks teacher: "Why do you always talk about your past girlfriends? Like I'm so special I've had tons of girlfriends! What does your wife think of this?"
Other kid: "Why are you asking him that? Are you jealous?"
Whole class: Ooooh snap
kid tries to take desk and chair out of classroom "I don't want to be here!"
kid tries to take desk and chair out of classroom
ME
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