Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

"That's my job not my gender!"

Teacher: "Florine,"
Student: "With an H?"

@InstaOnly

More from Water Melon kid:
WK-"Yo, dude. Want some ice? I'm selling ice."
Kid-"I thought you were selling a watermelon."
WK-"I was. Sold it and some kid threw it down the hall and broke it. Want some ice?"
Kid-"Yeah, sure. How much."
–
WK-"Guys. Who wants watermelon?"
Kid-"I thought that was broken."
WK-"It was. I only have pieces now. Do you want some? Only two dollars."
Kid 2-"I'll take some!"
–
Kid-"Hey. You got it?"
WK-"Yep. Have the money?"
Kid-Slips dollar to WK
WK-Makes sure teacher isn't watching and hands off Hershey bar
WK-"Make sure to check out what I'm selling next week."

@Knight-Shives

(sounds like the kid from kindergarten game)

@InstaOnly

(Are you talking about Nugget from Kindergarten? XD)

@Knight-Shives

(no the kid that sold all the stuff. Nugget is the crazy kid with the chicken nugget)

@InstaOnly

(Sorry, I meant Monty, I've very bad at names.)

@susmarie

"my name is frank and i like fiddling with fried chicken"
orchestra is a strange, strange place

@Wry_Wyvern

"My name is Cleo with a Z."
"With a what?"
"Did I stutter?"

"We're like friends with benefits but without the benefits."
"So… friends?"

Deleted user

"We're like friends with benefits but without the benefits."
"So… friends?"

Mood

@Moxie

"John Mulaney was born to play an animated spiderman pig."
" . . . I don't like that sentence."

Deleted user

"John Mulaney was born to play an animated spiderman pig."
" . . . I don't like that sentence."

Oh lord. That's a helluva sentence XD

@A. Alice Robins

•"Today we will be learning about the pamphlet written by Thomas
Paine, Common Sense"
-my teacher
every Hamiltrash in the room takes a deep breath
"NO SINGING! you are my most dramatic class you know that?"
•"Life sucks, that's why I have marshmallows "
-my friend
• talking about my allergy to cologne that my used to be crush was
wearing
"Love is in the air and I have allergies"wearing
•"MATURATION WAS IN MY BIRTHDAY! " as the room went deathly
silent half a second earlier
•"You TWIDDLE! " for no reason and no meaning behind it
• "Oh biscuit"
•"you're killing my brain cells by standing next to me"
•"I died with your sense of humor years ago"
•"thappy birthday "
•"oh you poor weak minded being"
•"you're denser than the center of earth"
•"oh darn dang ding dong"
violently bangs head on desk
insane hair flip that smacks their eye

Deleted user

Here is a full list of quotes by my Chemistry teacher:

"Sorry, I had a moment of anxiety. Right? That's what you feel when you cant add 12 and 16 and you're a high school teacher?"

"Yeah, okay, I drank four beers. But at least I didn't put a gun in my mouth!"

"All adults drink. And if they don't, we all know they got some happy pills"

"And if it doesn't work, well, your education was free so you cant demand your money back"

"Yeah, so they can sleep with anyone they want, right? They'll just get gonorrhea. It's fine"

(Makes an oofie) "I gotta stop drinking so much!"

(Laughs) "Oh, you have no idea. I have so much dirt on you. If your mom ever calls you're so screwed"

"Oh yeah, thats the (scale) we use to mass the cocaine. How do you think we have all of this nice lab supplies?"

"Internet porn and video games is the reason why teenage boys are going to fail instead of teenage girls. We tried old white men for this long, lets try something different!"

"If you have 10 eggs, you can't just make 5 dozen cookies! You can't because of the sugar!"

"They don't even ask anymore! Excuse my language, but that's bullsh*t!"

(In a southern drawl) "been doin' this here job for 22 years and now got this kid comin' in here t' tell me what t' do?!"

(Student asks for him to go to a water polo game) "yeah, but that would require me to give up personal time to go watch about ten heads and one ball and a bunch of splashing. Then, if I get close to the pool to, y'know, see what's happening, theyre all; 'PERVERT!'"

(Silence. Looks up from computer) "Occupational Therapy?!" (Looks back down)

"…And we don't want that because this is public education and we decided to feed you three times a day instead of getting good lab supplies."

"He was just one of those d*ck math teachers, y'know?"

"Sarcasm. The protection of my own feelings"

"I'm not exactly sure how that happened but it did, it's organic"

"Well then, I can say that I'm learning today that segue and segway are spelled differently!"

"Er, 3.2. I was being dyslexic"

"See what happens when you do too many drugs as a kid?"

@Moxie

(Why are chem teachers such a mood?)

@A. Alice Robins

Another favorite which I almost killed three sides for
"Why is birds?"

@A. Alice Robins

"Humans and vegans are the causes of deforestation"
my teacher Mr. Tran "if somebody calls start screaming and I'll say, hello, satran here"

@Knight-Shives

"Gangbang." Girl walking by a group hug in my history class

@ActuallyADragon

“I have this really weird feeling that all orchestra teachers are secretly pyromaniacs and blow things up for fun.”
-high school violinist

“You. Officially. Owe. Me. YEET BREAD.”
-an argument between two students in orchestra

“Whoops.. I cut Africa in half. I guess it’s…. HALFrica nowwwww”
-science class idiot

“Either we both got the question right, or we are both idiots.”
-algebra-class honors students

“I have a headache that comes and goes.”
kid comes in the door, late
“Oh. There it is.”
-epic science teacher

“I guess Eurasia is pretty tasty!”
-Another science class idiot

“CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOLATE PEEEEEEEPPERMINT BaaaaAAAAAAaAaArs, PEPPERMINT BAAAAAAAAaaaaars”
to the tune of chandelier
-kid at my home&careers table

science teacher holds a squeaky toy in the air
Entire class starts screaming the lion king opening music
-earth science honors class

That dude still owes me Yeet Bread…

@ravens

wtf is Yeet Bread

@ActuallyADragon

These three dudebros pooled some money and got my science teacher a onesie for Christmas. Every five seconds one of them will start up a chant "wear the onesie", and everyone joins in. Then the science teacher chants, "cumulative pop quiz" and they shut up.

@ActuallyADragon

wtf is Yeet Bread

Ok so it's kinda a long story, but this dudebro brought in some stuff for the orchestra party called yeast bread, but I misheard it, so I called it yeet bread. Next day, he told me if I could guess an impression he would give me some yeet bread (bc it's supa good) and I guessed it, and 3 weeks later he still has not produced the fReAkInG yEeT bReAd

Radar-Virus-exe