forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!
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@Yamatsu

"Oh my God, we don't care that your baby is the size of a banana!"

-a friend, complaining about a teacher that is more interested in his fetus than his students.

Deleted user

"OH MY GAWD, WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE GAY!!!"
-Said by literally everyone in my class to me after I told them I was in my church choir… I'm pan, so they're sorta correct, but I don't think choir makes you homosexual. I'm literally the only LGBTQIA+ member, everyone else is straight… sadly, in one case… I may have a new crush sorta ish because literally all my friends are lightyears more attractive than I'll ever be… never mind.

@PuffPoff

One of my friends to her girlfriend: Hate to break it to you, but I'm a lesbian

@Lupout

Context: kids at a table were talking in fake italian and french accents

A girl said sarcastically-
“Can you stop that? I’m xenophobic and I’m scared right now.”

@CharBar

team building in band with a yardstick
Woodwinds: quite, peaceful team collaboration
Percussion: Minor arguments, but teamwork none the less
Brass:
I SWEAR TO F**ING JESUS IN BOX I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS YARDSTICK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR AS, AJ!
DO IT KAYLA! YOU WON'T, NO BALLS.
BET!
B E T!
B E T!
B E T!
Kalya smacks AJ with the yardstick repeatedly and the brass cheer them on while te rest of the band just watches concerned and our director rubs his face in the corner

@Kanaroli group

team building in band with a yardstick
Woodwinds: quite, peaceful team collaboration
Percussion: Minor arguments, but teamwork none the less
Brass:
I SWEAR TO F**ING JESUS IN BOX I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS YARDSTICK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR AS, AJ!
DO IT KAYLA! YOU WON'T, NO BALLS.
BET!
B E T!
B E T!
B E T!
Kalya smacks AJ with the yardstick repeatedly and the brass cheer them on while te rest of the band just watches concerned and our director rubs his face in the corner

That's my band class in a nutshell

@SaltyLasagna

"I'm gonna hammer you so hard, you little hoe"
context: me and my friend were compressing aluminum foil and turning them into shiny spheres by hammering them down
"that's okay, I like it hard. And give me more of the white cream stuff"
context: I burnt cinnamon rolls and they got pretty crispy, and my friend liked it and wanted more icing on it

Deleted user

Therapist: So, you are depressed and have anxiety… is there any reason you still can be very happy?
Me: Uhh….. in thoughts: the gays…. my friends.

@SebastianBarnes

Today we got CNN 10 back after they were off air for around a month, and as I came out of math class and headed to Social Studies, I hear chanting. Then I get closer and this mob of kids are shouting “Carl Azuz! Carl Azuz!” Then once CNN 10 started, a kid shouted, “I LOVE YOU CARL!”

@StarkSpangledMayflower_Mad_Elder

Random conversation I overheard in the hallway:
1- hey mack, why aren't your shoelaces tied?
2- glares at person 3 I dont know, why aren't they tied Carl?
3- sighs
1- wha…?
2- Carl said he'd be my loyal servant

@CharBar

team building in band with a yardstick
Woodwinds: quite, peaceful team collaboration
Percussion: Minor arguments, but teamwork none the less
Brass:
I SWEAR TO F**ING JESUS IN BOX I AM GOING TO TAKE THIS YARDSTICK AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR AS, AJ!
DO IT KAYLA! YOU WON'T, NO BALLS.
BET!
B E T!
B E T!
B E T!
Kalya smacks AJ with the yardstick repeatedly and the brass cheer them on while te rest of the band just watches concerned and our director rubs his face in the corner

That's my band class in a nutshell

Its funny you say that because this wasn't even te worst thing that has happened in our class and I'm honestly surprised our school hasn't shut down the performing arts magnet

@CharBar

please tell us the worst that has happened

there were many things, and I really don't know what was worse, so I'll give you two:
Our first year we had an intruder on campus drill and my class was in the band room. This being a new school for most of us, we had no idea what we were supposed to do, since most hand't been in a band room during this kind of drill. So, naturally, we just kind of stood there, some kids got under chairs and some tables, trying to hide and whatnot, but then the band teacher came out of the office and noticed that the vast majority of students were just standing around like a bunch of useless paperclips. He litterally smacked the whiteboard and yelled "What do you think you're doing? Do you want to get shot? Hide! Act like you've done this before!" And everyone started to find places to hide in the class. And trust me when I tell you that if you give a bunch of freshmen students a huge bandroom with dozens of cabinets and crawl spaces that will make themselves g o n e. Within a matter of minutes, our entire class had hidden themselves in the trombone cabinets, the stand carts, the low woodwind cubbies, and in every possible dark corner that may or may not be portals to dark dimensions. There were two juniors in our class at that time who both played the trombone, and instead of hiding they both stood on either side of the band door holding their instruments. A kid who played the flute and was hiding inside of the percussion cart asked them why they weren't hiding and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments." And like half of the class started to laugh, but the girl in the percussion cabinet just kinda looked at them concerned before proceeding to lock herself in the cart.

Then there was the time that a rat got itself stuck in a sophmore's sousaphone. This kid must have eaten before class a lot or something, because the only reason a rat would have the mindset to go into a shiny metal tube would be for food. The rat, after failing to escape, died of suffocation. The problem was nobody even knew about it until the homecoming football game. We were in the stands playing "Eye Of The Tiger" before the football team came out, and we were doing a suspiciously good job. In the tuba/sousaphone section there is a part of the song where they like to play the notes at fffffffffffffffffffffffff, which is fine with everyone else because we like to get the crowd hyped. We were almost to that point in the song, and everyone was getting progressively louder to try and compete with the tuba/sousaphone's volume, and the crowd was going n u t s (football is really big where I live, so for a band to get a crowd this hyped was as essential as writing your name on a test). The conductor raised his arms to signify the beyond blastissimo part that was bout to come, and everyone hit the notes with all their force. Then you just hear this sound like a cork being popped out of a bottle above the rest of the band and some people stopped playing and then you heard screaming because this sophomore literally BLASTED the dead rat out of his sousaphone and the rat flew onto the football field and the cheerleaders started screaming and the sousaphone player started screaming and basically everyone was screaming.

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

please tell us the worst that has happened

there were many things, and I really don't know what was worse, so I'll give you two:
Our first year we had an intruder on campus drill and my class was in the band room. This being a new school for most of us, we had no idea what we were supposed to do, since most hand't been in a band room during this kind of drill. So, naturally, we just kind of stood there, some kids got under chairs and some tables, trying to hide and whatnot, but then the band teacher came out of the office and noticed that the vast majority of students were just standing around like a bunch of useless paperclips. He litterally smacked the whiteboard and yelled "What do you think you're doing? Do you want to get shot? Hide! Act like you've done this before!" And everyone started to find places to hide in the class. And trust me when I tell you that if you give a bunch of freshmen students a huge bandroom with dozens of cabinets and crawl spaces that will make themselves g o n e. Within a matter of minutes, our entire class had hidden themselves in the trombone cabinets, the stand carts, the low woodwind cubbies, and in every possible dark corner that may or may not be portals to dark dimensions. There were two juniors in our class at that time who both played the trombone, and instead of hiding they both stood on either side of the band door holding their instruments. A kid who played the flute and was hiding inside of the percussion cart asked them why they weren't hiding and one of them just looked her dead in the eye and said "Since neither of us have any regard for our lives, if the intruder comes in her we have been instructed to beat them to a pulp with our instruments." And like half of the class started to laugh, but the girl in the percussion cabinet just kinda looked at them concerned before proceeding to lock herself in the cart.

Then there was the time that a rat got itself stuck in a sophmore's sousaphone. This kid must have eaten before class a lot or something, because the only reason a rat would have the mindset to go into a shiny metal tube would be for food. The rat, after failing to escape, died of suffocation. The problem was nobody even knew about it until the homecoming football game. We were in the stands playing "Eye Of The Tiger" before the football team came out, and we were doing a suspiciously good job. In the tuba/sousaphone section there is a part of the song where they like to play the notes at fffffffffffffffffffffffff, which is fine with everyone else because we like to get the crowd hyped. We were almost to that point in the song, and everyone was getting progressively louder to try and compete with the tuba/sousaphone's volume, and the crowd was going n u t s (football is really big where I live, so for a band to get a crowd this hyped was as essential as writing your name on a test). The conductor raised his arms to signify the beyond blastissimo part that was bout to come, and everyone hit the notes with all their force. Then you just hear this sound like a cork being popped out of a bottle above the rest of the band and some people stopped playing and then you heard screaming because this sophomore literally BLASTED the dead rat out of his sousaphone and the rat flew onto the football field and the cheerleaders started screaming and the sousaphone player started screaming and basically everyone was screaming.

THESE ARE OFFICIALLY THE BEST STORIES IVE HEARD IN MY LIFE