forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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"So, you take some macaroni noodles and put 'em in a bowl. Then, you take a spaghetti noodle and put it in the bowl, and it's an impasta! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" - my friend at lunch

"falls down facefirst onto the ground"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fi-"
"Not you, I was talking to the floor."
"Oh… Wait wha-"

"Okay, raise your hand if you think I'm sane."
"What does that mean?"
"Not insane."
"Oh."
[No hands are raised]
"Good. You guys are getting the right impression, because I am off my rocker."

"Okay, raise your hand if you think I'm sane."
"What does that mean?"
"Not insane."
"Oh."
[No hands are raised]
"Good. You guys are getting the right impression, because I am off my rocker."

why is this a whole mood

On Instagram using the flame text box

Me: "Happy thanksgiving from your local arsonist!"
My other fire obsessed friend: "Yay :D"
Mom Friend: "I swear you guys are aging me faster with all of this"

So my family had our pictures taken for our New Year's card, we just got back, and here are some highlights:

Whispered to my brother while we're all smiling "I hope you die in a fire."

Sitting in a tree "I'll push you off, and your head will smash open and your brain will leak out. They'll think it was an accident."

After my mom calls me funny for my dark humor "Oh yeah, I'm real funny. Everybody else on death row will find me hilarious in twenty years."

Me, ten feet up in a tree after being told I have to take pictures with my parents "No more pictures, or the scarf gets it!"

Being forced to be close to my family "When will I be freed from this prison?"

All of these were on the way back from the park:

"It's a waste of money. Eleven whole dollars? Spend that on ramen instead."

"We have to recreate that picture once every ten years! When you guys die, we can have your urns there! Or your dead bodies, whatever you decide. Are you guys organ donors? We can have all the recipients just- clump together where you'd be."

"When you die, can I use your urn as a spittoon?"

"When I die, I want my ashes put in party poppers."
"Ooh, that'd be cool!"
"Yeah, at my funeral, everybody'll be partying- Y'see, they're all glad to see me go. It's been a hundred long years-"
"You really think you'll last that long?"
"Twenty long years. My funeral's gonna be a rager."

"You know Satan's butt cheeks-?"

"So I was looking up ways to kill someone,"
"Okay."
School nurse: o.o
"We're writers."

"Malice is stored in the kneecaps"

"You know your phone is cracked bad when you can see the inside of it." - My Crackhead Band Memelord Friend

"Football players are nothing but guys filled to the brim with toxic mascuinity"

"Football players are nothing but guys filled to the brim with toxic mascuinity"

they did not lie
imho, football players are the worst breed of man
the EPITOME of straight white boy

"Football players are nothing but guys filled to the brim with toxic mascuinity"

they did not lie
imho, football players are the worst breed of man
the EPITOME of straight white boy

e x a c t l y

"I suppose it's not gay if you're both committing felonies." - My ex-girlfriend during a forensic science lesson

For context, I was watching Bones and explaining how the killer killed and disposed of the body to a friend and someone heard me

"So then he cut off and ate the guys arm and then killed and ate a ladies heart"
"What the absolute cinnamon twist fuck did I just hear?"

Here's context before I actually add the thing: Me and my close friend Koma (that's not their actual name, I'm just using their name they use on her bc privacy n stuff) have all the same classes, and in Study Hall we act like complete dorks and goofballs all in one. We even tell each other dark/slightly offensive jokes to see if anyone else gets them. This was one of those moments. We almost got expelled for this, but it was worth it. Here's what went down.

Me: "Hey, Koma, say Nigerundayo without the undayo."
Koma: "Ni- YOU DIDN'T JUST TRY AND MAKE ME SAY THE N WORD."
Me, laughing my ass of: "No, no. I swear I didn't mean it like that-" clearly lying
Koma goes and whispers the same suggestion to our Study Hall teacher
Teacher: "Nig- Wait a second…"
Me and Koma, snickering: "Yeees?"
Teacher: "Both of you! Office, now!"
Koma: "Aight-"
Me, running out of the classroom and dragging Koma along by the arm: "Nigerundayoooo!!"

"BRING ME YOUR SMEXIEST CHICKEN."

You get no context

"I risked my life for a TOASTER. A TOASTER."

"BRING ME YOUR SMEXIEST CHICKEN."

You get no context

smexy chicken coming right up lmaoooo

"THATS MY MOMS AIRPOD >:O"

"So, is a sheep chicken?"

"…child men?"

"I'm not saying I don't want to receive a wax sealed letter from an 17th century prince, I'm just saying I wouldn't mind it"

"I'm not saying I don't want to receive a wax sealed letter from an 17th century prince, I'm just saying I wouldn't mind it"

honestly relatable

"Man-child? What about a child-man?"