@larcenistarsonist group
YOU UNDERSTAND THE MILK SHAVINGS :DDD FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!!!
YOU UNDERSTAND THE MILK SHAVINGS :DDD FINALLY SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!!!
My friend: ANTI-DRUG WEEK IS A VERY IMPORTANT EVENT AT OUR SCHOOL WE NEED TO- MJ are you even listening?
Me: haha my name means marijuana
Well I was in school today, and a student asked the teacher to meet her in the teachers classroom for some adult fun time, and the teach was a woman also.
"I cut my nails last night and I kind of miss the length."
"Me too. But not super short because I'm not sleeping with anyone so there's not really a point."
"One of them tore at the bottom so I had to make them all match– wait, you say that like I'm sleeping with someone."
"I know you're not."
"That's MY apple juice!"
"dude what the FUCK"
strange stomach gurgling
"What was that??"
"O-oh, uh panik I vored a cat"
"DUDE"
"It's ya boi, Clown Whore-"
"I want to go sit on that roof and look down at god's creations and proclaim 'I'm your new god, chucklefucks'. You know?"
"Oh yeah, bois. She took off her shirt, now things are getting sexy."
"Give me back my meat sticks!"
"How do strapless bras stay up??"
"Pure, unadulterated feminist rage"
"How do strapless bras stay up??"
"Pure, unadulterated feminist rage"
I don't think that's how it works excuse me.
"Gotta trade in that gross wrinkely brain for a new squeaky clean smooth one"
"James Bond!" *starts singing*
"You're singing The Incredibles."
"have you ever eaten someone before?"
"dude no what the hell"
"you should try it"
"i- DUDE NO WHAT THE FU-"
"Would you eat chicken nuggets out of a bag?"
"I'm a vegetarian."
"I once drew a venn diagram with one side being improv and the other being polyamory and the middle being "yes… and?" - My dnd facilatator, an actual teacher
"James Bond!" *starts singing*
"You're singing The Incredibles."
To be fair, the melodies do sound similar.
Me, randomly stating trivia like I do: "Did you know that vending machines kill more people annually than sharks?"
My friend with his arm all the way up the slot in the machine: "… I'm still getting my cheetos, MJ."
"He threw his sour cream at me because I told him to eat it."
My debate class:
Me, bursting into the room and having a mini panic attack: I WANNA MUNCH (SQUAD) I WANT TO MUNCH (SQUAD)
"Hasta la bye-bye."
(Talking about mispronouncing metaphor)
"Metapher seems like the name of the daughter that no one wanted and is clearly an accident"
"I learned more Spanish from Naruto than Spanish class."
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