forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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"High-five humans!" "You're a human, right?" "Oh never mind you're a lizard"

"Red-heads eat souls"

"I will call you by your legal name if you attempt to jump out of the window"

"I will call you by your legal name if you attempt to jump out the window

Windows are great to stalk people, especially the guy with the scooter

Do you see my mother?
Ah I see her. But now most importantly, the guy with the scooter"

Elise: Opedophile!

Isaac: What.

Ophelia: It’s a dumb nickname, I know.

Isaac: That’s not a nickname, that’s an accusation.

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one’s for you.”
“Oh, hey! I know Ryland! I own his ears!”
“GUYS! SOFIA’S ABOUT TO DIE!” “At dying school?”
“Grace. Can you start vengeance against blood?”
“I’ll bray like a cow!” “Cows bray?” “Yeah! They bray to heaven for a chance to eat their counterparts!”
“Jason’s middle name is EDWARD???”
“I won ‘most likely to be seen with a good book.’ I have nothing to say about my future.”
“Jace. You’re most likely to go to jail for starting a cult about Bill Gates, then become Bill Gates.”
“You just accidentally, casually, just stab them in the butt.”
“My mom said I could be whatever I want when I grow up, so I’m going to be either a unicorn or a racoon pilot. I think being a racoon pilot would be pretty fun.”
“How do you say Data?” “Well, usually Dah-tuh. Day-tuh sounds professional. Like, clasps hands ‘We’ve been looking at your Day-tuh.’” “No, Dah-tuh sounds way more professional. Like ‘We’ve been looking at your Dah-tuh.’” “NO! YOU CAN’T! THAT’S MY DADDY!!!”
(Lily) “Mrs. Isham, after hearing about your theory of Jace’s future, what do you think we’ll be?” (Mrs. Isham) “Oh! I know exactly! turns to Mia Well, you’ll for sure be like an author. But like, the really good author. You’ll be on Oprah or something, because it’s like, so good.” turning to Lily ooo, ok. Um…contemplates oh! I know. You’ll have like an instagram account, and you’ll have a bunch of followers. But you’re not an influencer, you just have a great job and everyone likes you.”
Violas: “We don’t have to play here. We can make a sandwich, read a book, have grandchildren, then we play again!”

"Hey guys I think it's raining" He was standing in the rain, completely drenched

"I need something to smoke, does anyone have smarties?"

"Bye bye Ms. Chair Model Lady"

"He's hitting on the queen even though he's nine and she's 14… He's probably gonna marry her someday"

"I fell into a vat of cliché and came out all disfigured with common narratives"

"Bye bye Ms. Chair Model Lady"

WAIT WAS THAT FOR ENGLISH

"Bye bye Ms. Chair Model Lady"

WAIT WAS THAT FOR ENGLISH

Yep

"I don't have enough hands" "You never have enough hands"
"where the hell did my hair go??"
"Are you lonely and depressed? Do you want to… disappear?" (chorus of voices) "Sign me up!"

"Who's your favorite starter pokemon?" "Squirtle!" "Wrong! It's Bulbasaur!"

WORK SHENANIGANS

Elise: OPIODS!
Ophelia: are you gonna call me something different every time you see me?
Elise: Bye, OPEDOPHILE!!
Isaac: What.
Ophelia: It’s a dumb nickname, I know.
Isaac: That’s not a nickname, that’s an accusation.

Ophelia: Summer… Elise had a love affair baby with Mariano.
Summer: WHAT?
Ophelia: But they’re over now.
Elise: No, me and Mariano are still together.
Summer: …we need to talk.

Benjamin: I’m gonna order the worst shake.
Ophelia: Gummy bear.
Benjamin: With brownies and cookie dough.
Ophelia: And marshmallow, coffee, caramel…
Benjamin: And of course, it must be gluten free
Ophelia: AND a thin shake.
Benjamin: WITH extra on each flavor.
Jakob: NOOOOOOO

Jakob: Don’t say they’re right, they’ll torture me.
Ophelia: You guys are right.

[These ones occured during my lunch break on Saturday]

Isaac: All they need is Jesus.
Ophelia: But how will they get Jesus…
Isaac: They’ll get Jesus if they believe in Jesus.

Ophelia: I can’t drive a car, I’m 14!
Isaac: Joseph Smith was 14.
Ophelia: …
Ophelia: And?
Isaac: He did something nobody else had done before.

Isaac: Raise a glass to freedom…
Ophelia: Something they can never take away.
[Clinks shake cups together]

"He's hitting on the queen even though he's nine and she's 14… He's probably gonna marry her someday"

i recognize that
found it!

"He's hitting on the queen even though he's nine and she's 14… He's probably gonna marry her someday"

i recognize that
found it!

YESSSSS

"Bye bye Ms. Chair Model Lady"

WAIT WAS THAT FOR ENGLISH

YEAH IT WAS

"He's hitting on the queen even though he's nine and she's 14… He's probably gonna marry her someday"

i recognize that
found it!

YESSSSS

:)

Im a middle shooler today in 1st period I heard a kid say "why was there a condom on the floor" "Id like both my ears thank you" "I like your eggs" "If I see one more furry in the next 20 minutes I'm gonna scream (I'm a furry) screams"

"I would like to be a furry in my next life."

"Ice cream and condoms"

A group of students outside, chanting: PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS PISS!

playing a game "OH ew it's Brian. Hit him with the car mom!" "I'm not gonna hit him with the car," "cmon no one will even care!" "No!"

(Watching Newsies Jr.)

Newsies police officer: "Go on, get out of here! Scram!"
The entire Bright Star cast: "ok." (Stands up)

(Watching Newsies Jr.)

Newsies police officer: "Go on, get out of here! Scram!"
The entire Bright Star cast: "ok." (Stands up)

I probably would have done the same thing if I was there haha

(Watching Newsies Jr.)

Newsies police officer: "Go on, get out of here! Scram!"
The entire Bright Star cast: "ok." (Stands up)

I probably would have done the same thing if I was there haha

We were the best audience ever. One of the characters was late so when she came on stage we just started screaming and clapping. And when the people playing the main characters interacted we all loudly went "awwwww"

best. audience. ever.

i was scared my voice was gonna be gone when i woke up but its all good

"would you say that to a white person?"

'you like white men don't you?"

"imma sleep with your hamster bro"

Not said but just saw. We're in choir and this kid whips out a whole iPad from under their jacket.

"Ex-GAY-use me??!?!?!!?!?!?"