forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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"There are carrots EVERYWHERE!"

“You’re a geese”
“That would be goose”
“But Grass* is a flock of gooses”
_{*Grass is the nickname of one of my friends}

—

“Why are you throwing my eyeball??”

Friend: Have you ever thought about if cheese got scabs, would it look like Cheetos?
Me: I haven't because I'm not on crack
Friend: I'm trying
Me, a moment later: No because Cheetos are dusty and when you get scabs it's not dusty it's just wrinkly and Cheetos aren't wrinkly
Friend: Ew now I'm thinking about powdery skin
Me: You brought that on yourself

Friend: Ew now I'm thinking about powdery skin
Me: You brought that on yourself

As a fun fact, did you know that Victorians actually ATE and SNORTED the dried remains of mummies found in Egyptian crypts and pyramids? Once they ran out of mummies, some intelligent entrepreneurs got the brilliant idea to use desiccated corpses of prisoners instead! Ain't history lovely?

Brb, gonna go snort some mummy to help with my cold!

We're out of mummies, remember? Go put some hangman's fat in your tea, it'll do the same thing.

I guess I'll have to make my own mummy.
Wouldn't be the first time…

Go get some leeches they'll help

I was thinking about some cocaine tooth drops myself.

"Hot sauce is not a balanced breakfast."
-Trombonist to another trombonist who was downing hot sauce packets and refused to eat anything else

"…Therefore, a tree is a sandwich."
-Some people were having an argument about whether a hot dog was a sandwich and a mellophone interrupted saying that technically almost anything could be a sandwich and proceeded to defend his case.

"Go the fuck to sleep."
-Nearly everyone at some point.

Okay the mellophoneness is so accurate, it hurts (I'm a mello, so I would know)

"I still think we should've named it the Tony Stark Memorial High School."

"She's just Discount Danny DeVito."

"She said my podcast was very professional. I opened with the 'cocaine ruin your brain' vine."

"Why aren't we practicing CPR on dummies with boobs too? Wouldn't those be helpful to practice for?"
"Yeah, but they thought the boys would get too inappropriate. Someone already tried making out with the full-body male dummy a few blocks ago."

"It's not top or bottom! It's locomotive or caboose!"
"Jake, you forkwaffe! Get off the piano!"
"Hi, I'm Logan. I want to die and my girlfriend's hot!"
"I'm the gayest goose"
"This music makes me feel like a train crashed and our band director's killing the euphoniums"
"MARCHING SEASON'S COMIN BACK Y'ALL!" "It's the middle of January, shut the frick up!"
-Stuff I have said to my section.

"If you breathe too strongly, you'll crush the baby's lungs like grapes."
"Cool, so I'm never gonna do CPR on a baby ever."

"I found a 34 part podcast on israel keys and if you think I'm not going to binge it all you would be very wrong."

"I found a 34 part podcast on israel keys and if you think I'm not going to binge it all you would be very wrong."

I am now fascinated about this podcast

"Y'all wish you were my history class! I was throwin' it back on Friday!"

"You want to know why? It's because I'm sore and fat."-some kid in my Spanish III class

"I found a 34 part podcast on israel keys and if you think I'm not going to binge it all you would be very wrong."

I am now fascinated about this podcast

It's called true crime bullshit and I'm only partway through the first episode but I'm hekka pumped

backpack falls off table
“Wow mood.”

Teacher: I used to sit by myself in a locked room and cry
“I used to lock my parents in their room and make them cry”

three people screaming in harmony
4th person: “how the fuck are you doing that?”

"I still think we should've named it the Tony Stark Memorial High School."

Peter Parker would be at the red ribbon cutting of the opening of the school

Teacher: I used to sit by myself in a locked room and cry
“I used to lock my parents in their room and make them cry”

Lol I was there

My friend at lunch was making this “no premarital” joke, and when people does the no premarital stuff to her, she tells them that she doesn’t want to get married and she’s married to Jesus.
Some of the jokes:
“No premarital eye contact!”
“No premarital breathing!”
“No premarital touching!”