forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

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Well would you like an explanation?

Yes please

yes

i demand one?

My friends mom accidentally took her to this very risque cabaret show in london and she was describing the host. She said she was like a german lady but she wasn't entirely sure that she was german or a lady and she mentioned that in the program it said her stage name was Bernie. She was trying to say that Bernie could be short for Bernadette or Bernard but I just said "BERNIE SANDERS IS A GERMAN DRAG QUEEN" and my friends started laughing so hard and one of them started choking and it was wild.

omfg i would’ve legit died so there’s that

"Someone is going to die and at this point, I don't care if it's me."

Australians are just British Texans.

Australians are just British Texans.

i hate you when you're right

All cartoon villans are secretely gay, but they just dont know it yet- Ty

Me: "Why does everyone think we're dating?"
Best Friend: "No idea."
Me: proceeds to rest head on boobs like pillow
Best Friend: is wearing my coat and making sexual jokes

unironically
"Can vegans eat cheese?"
"…. no."
"Wait why not?"
………wow. Gen Z, everyone

"So what's wrong with Deadpool's toaster?"
"Instead of heating stuff, it freezes it."
"So a freezer?"
"Yeah but instant"

Me: yelling at my friend across the hall when I get back from being admitted to the hospital "I'm on drugs!"
Friend: "Wait, what? What the h— do you mean?"
Me: laughing for a minute "Prescribed drugs. So I don't, y'know, die."
_{(Seriously though at one point they found a mass in me and I was so scared that it was Cancer. Thank the lord it wasn't-it was just a bunch of normal, healthy cells.)}

"So what's wrong with Deadpool's toaster?"
"Instead of heating stuff, it freezes it."
"So a freezer?"
"Yeah but instant"

Bruh I want one of those…

"I am gay and dying!"
"Who isn't?"

“These textbooks are iconic queens”
———
“Hon hon oui oui I am a candle”
———
“I will shove a baguette down your throat”
———
“I’m a psychopath”
———
two of my friends chanting about drugs
———
For context, we used to say something like the Our Father or Hail Mary at the end of the day. We got a new principal, and he started saying this prayer we’ve never heard of and we wouldn’t be surprised if he made it up. Well today we said the Our Father, so I was like “We’re back to the normal prayer.” But my friend thought I said “back to the homo plan’

"I don't want to be shot, I just don't want to take care of myself."

“I’ve been a dramatic biatch every back to school day since 4th grade, and you think I’m gonna stop now?”

Me: "Why does everyone think we're dating?"
Best Friend: "No idea."
Me: proceeds to rest head on boobs like pillow
Best Friend: is wearing my coat and making sexual jokes

why is this exactly how my girl and I were before we got together

oof XD

((Tw: shooting jokes))

"If I get shot during this lockdown I don't have to pay for Christmas presents." "Yeah but…you'll be shot?" "So? The bullets can't kill me more than once. If I die, I'm dead. If I survive, near death experience. Either way's a win win."

((Tw: shooting jokes))

"If I get shot during this lockdown I don't have to pay for Christmas presents." "Yeah but…you'll be shot?" "So? The bullets can't kill me more than once. If I die, I'm dead. If I survive, near death experience. Either way's a win win."

Big mood

“What if your bones itched?”

That reminds me of, “What if you could see your own liver?”