Student: makes joe mama joke
Teacher: "If y'all don't shut up, I'm gonna call joe mama."That’s a teacher I want, what an amazing teacher.
She's a boomer who's more knowledgeable about modern things than the millennial teacher.
"It pooped on me!"
"Put the chinchilla away before it pees on the computer"
"It's a knee slapper?" slaps knee "Ow!"
laying on desk sadly "my teeth aren't straight*
student starts to sit down
other student straight up punches first student's butt
second student is now repeatedly flicking first student's back
loses an arm wrestling match
"wow I turned to talk to someone and my arm just went fwump"
"aren't you in rotc? how are you going to defend our nation if you lose an arm wrestle?"
"oh shit you're right"
"Heads up! China's voting for the communists again."
"here we go…"
“He was only president for two years? Laaaame.”
“He got shot!”
“THE BIRDS WANT TO DUEL.”
“Let me get chu some bumbly bees.”
“So do you want them like this?” draws a giant circle on Autodesk Sketch
“As thick as you can make it.”
(All of them are me)
"Bro, we don't ask why my nipples are so far apart, we only ask how."
"[Enter male student name] wants to make out with Mr.[enter teacher name]"
"I have the confidence of a goldfish"
"He's a sad biscuit."
"why is that lady wearing a big sombrero"
"You know what D&D is, right?"
With all the seriousness in the world: "Yeah, it's from the Odyssey"
………………freshmen are so dumb
But I was a wee 7th grader when I found out what D&D was…now I'm a freshman finally playing D&D and-
uh…I knocked myself out, I dealt one damage to an ally, and I succeeded on most of my charisma checks!
It was at this momet that Momentia realized that Pact of the Fiend Warlocks are trash, and her entire introduction into D&D was ruined.
-But I'm fine! My character still has her moral decision of patron vs. party, right?
(Oh god I literally sucked at our first session, you have no idea. And yes, I realize I'm nerding out whe probably only one other person her knows about D&D…)
(I don't, not entirely, but I sure as heck know it's not from the Odyssey)
(What the actual heck, HOW IS IT FROM THE ODYSSEY? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!)
(Ey, you're first session was more successful than mine! One of the people in my party [who had been playing most of his life] kept making us rest in the middle of a dungeon so he could learn a new spell?? Like what the hell dude)
(The temptation of the DM must have been real… I'd have probably made them fight just for that… (I reccomend some of DM Lair's videos-what you described was something that he covered in a story video.))
"toaster oven is the best gaming console"
"no the best one is obviously fridge!"
-some kids in my english class
"If I was a girl I'd have big boobs and be really thicc!"
- a guy in my american studies class loud enough for the entire class to hear, including the teacher.
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"Hey, is/are there [insert the name of literally anything] in Norway?"
Okay, so no one actually said this, but there are these signs in my school in the restrooms over the sinks and they read: WATER IS NOT FOR DRINKING OR COOKING.
“Let’s get some chicken men in the bushes”
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"What is that a peanut fetish or something?"
-My science teacher
I have many things:
Random girl translation Latin in my class: “…Than she screamed and hurried away.”
Me: “An appropriate reaction- I mean that’s the ancient Roman equivalent of the man in the white van offering you candy!”
-
My friend:“I’ll be the aunt fifty times removed. Ok. Here we go. Hey Sonny, the last time I saw you, you were just a wee little baby! Do you remember me?”
Me: “No. I was a BABY!”
My other friend:“Exactly!”
-
My friend: “I want food!!!!!!”
My teacher: “I have almonds, will you shut up?”
My friend: “YES! Thanks! eats an almond WAIT are these UNSALTED.”
My teacher: “shut UP”
-
“I made friends with the evil crow that’s watching everybody outside.”
-
My friend: “Why is the ground yellow right there in the one spot?”
Me: “the magical leprechaun stood there and then left us.”
My friend: “so sad”
-
Me: “how about we stuff her mouth full of Chill Pills and then duct tape it shut?”
my friend: “yes. She chills or she dies. I totally agree.”
-
My teacher: “why do you have all your stuff on your desk? Is your locker empty? Would it kill you to put your papers IN your binders either? Go sort that in the hallway.”
My friend: “but…”
My teachers: “Zoë Faith Dodson. Go out. Now”
My other friend: “ohhh. The middle name. Same effect as the middle finger.”
“Will the Rose wrap around the hilt or the stabby stabby part?”