forum Tell Me Stuff You Heard High/Middle School Students Say!

Started September 23, 2018 by Deleted user

tune

Edit topic

"You don't snort meth!"

"Not with that attitude, you don't!"

I'm reminded of a comedy bit where the comedian was making light of her horrible drug addiction that she had years ago. As it turns out, meth doesn't actually break down before it is released as waste, which means that it ends up in your urine most of the time.

In other words, according to her, meth pee is pretty rad.

"I have a one-Shrek mind" and "the difference between a cigarette and meth is five thousand dollars", both courtesy of a teacher at my school

IF THERE IS A FIRE I THE SCHOOL THE ALARM DOESNT DISMISS YOU THE ANNOUNCEMENT DOES ~ Teacher
So what if there's a fire in the office? Do we just slowly burn to death because theres no announcement? ~ Ty

“Wait, so do you like everyone’s feet or just your own?”
“No-“
“It’s ok, let her be.”
“Shut up, Hentai boy.”

"Let's bring that back."
"With buffalo?"
"No, not buffalo. Maybe something like-"
"Birds!"
"Nazis!"
"…those were very different answers."

"Thank you for giving me food without your knowledge nor consent."

"My ass is between me and my bond with god."

"Thank you for giving me food without your knowledge nor consent."

I'm going to start saying that when I steal food

“ARE YOU GAY?”
“I think she’s straight”
“I’m as straight as a circle”

"He kinda old, kinda fat. Like Santa"
"Sugar daddy 101 with Ruth amirite"

"It's basically just a reanimation! The Furby is dead and we're bringing it back to life. Well, I guess the Furby is in limbo. Is there a Furby heaven and Furby hell?"
"I don't know?"
"….maybe Satan is a Furby."

• Me and my friend discussing the Long Boi (aka Benvolio Horatio Montjoy Clerval; or BHMC for short)

"I've got hoes with different area codes!" -My sister

"Listen bitch, my Tarot card edges are sharp, the box is heavy and I've got one hell of a throwing arm."

"Listen here mortal I'm gonna kick your ass with the power of propane" -Literally some kid I though couldn't speak English

“LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND!”
“God! No! I’m not gay!”
“PLEASE! JUST GIVE ME YOUR HAND!”
(Why are all the guys in my school gay towards each other? It’s great, weird, and funny all at the same time.)

"Santa isn't real"
"He may not be real but believing in him makes me feel like a little kid again so shut the fuck up"

Person A: "Let's see who the strongest in the class is!"

Person B: "I am!"

Person A: "We're not talking about odor, Ian."

Classroom: Chorus of "oooooo"

Person A: I like your shirt.

Person B: I like it too.

awkward silence ensues.

one of my friends is pretending to be jk rowling
“Are you straight?”
“No”
“Well your gay now. Are you straight?
“No”
“Good you’re gay too now. Are you straight?”
“I’m a pineapple”

———

“I’m a deformed ferret”

“I wanna be a prostitute!”

"Are you straight?”
“I’m a pineapple”

"Well, now you're the fruitiest fruit to ever fruit."

“Hitler was human, and that scares me.”
three minutes later, by the same person
“Ah yes I like reading mangoes.”

“Do you think if the basketball breaks my nose I’ll get out of school?”