forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

Started November 14, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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that actually made me laugh-
thank you

Oh, you're welcome!! I have plenty of stories of me being stupid lol. (Past and present)

So, would you like to hear another story, talk about something else, or..?

My drawing is turning out okay. Not as good as I hoped, but not as bad as I thought it would be

Well, that's good I guess.

My mom is pissed at me now oof

Oof, pretty much my dad @ me on a daily basis tho.

so I just had a conversation with my mom
and I feel like it was the closest thing to a real conversation we've had in a long time.
to make things better
it was about ptsd and my dad {which is also where most to all of my ptsd comes from}
and that already had my emotions flowing a lot
and then she brought up {in a completely neutral way, I can't tell if she likes this or not} how much I've changed in the last 6+ months.
she's right
and for some reason that just made me feel something
I mean
I have changed
A lot
Like, not your typical 'I'm a teenager going through phases' thing
But like
A lot
And I can't tell if it's for better or for worse.

I made a list of very basic things that have changed about me physically, mentally, etc. but it was so long lmao telll me if I should post it

I know I've changed.
A lot.
But having someone else point it out {even in a neutral way} reminded me of my fear that everything I'm doing is wrong.
And god, I'm terrified.

hey mir- not everything you're doing is wrong, 'kay? look- you're posting this vent on nb, which allows us to be there for you if you need us. that's not wrong

You can post the list if you’d like.

I mean, let's start with appearance wise: Cut all my hair off into a pixie, bleached it and dyed it blue. Started wearing more makeup {and by more I mean eyeliner. I barely wear anything lmao} and doing so confidently. Started dressing in all black {and my style is one of my favorite things about myself lmao, so the black will not be leaving.} Realized I didn't have to hide my body or show off the features I was insecure about {i.e. stomach, chest, hips}, tried out different looks. Mentally: Antidepressants. Really got happier. Got more social. Anxiety who? Found some confidence. Started understanding my diagnosises. Socially/Etc.: Spoke out about my religious beliefs compared to my family's. Came out. Started talking to people. Realized I can get rid of toxic people. Got rid of my best friend for being toxic, lost some other people, and found new ones. And so, so, sooo much more.

tldr: Changed hair a ton, found my aesthetic/style, got better mental health treatment, cut out toxic friends and built a new group, Prozac.

I'm proud of you <3

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

Cool, cool. I’m happy for you, Miri. I really am.

I'm proud of you <3

I’m happy for you, Miri. I really am.

.
Don't cry
Thank you.
So much.

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

i missed it

I'm proud of you <3

I’m happy for you, Miri. I really am.

.
Don't cry
Thank you.
So much.

‘Gotchur back, Miri.

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

I'm so proud of you, Miri dearie! Those are very excellent changes and I'm happy that you as a person were strong enough to make them! You're awesome!

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

more like
(:',<

that's my attempt at my ungodly three inch long wings

I'm so proud of you, Miri dearie! Those are very excellent changes and I'm happy that you as a person were strong enough to make them! You're awesome!

I love eyeliner but applying it makes me uncomfortable so I don't wear it.

flashes back to Dom, Emi and my video call

(:<

more like
(:',<

that's my attempt at my ungodly three inch long wings

lmfao you were rocking it

I was there but only for a few minutes :(

And then we were like, Who are you? Lol.

I still haven't gotten my video of Dom and I'm angryy