forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)
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people_alt 126 followers

Deleted user

Dunno
I had a great night
But the only thing keeping me alive these days is a few songs and my meds
It's not worth it
I'm not worth it

@The-Magician group

I want to dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I had my moment earlier.. I respect my friend for helping me whenever I’m in that situation

@Pickles group

Dunno
I had a great night
But the only thing keeping me alive these days is a few songs and my meds
It's not worth it
I'm not worth it

Oh fuck off yes you are

@HighPockets group

Dunno
I had a great night
But the only thing keeping me alive these days is a few songs and my meds
It's not worth it
I'm not worth it

Oh fuck off yes you are

You're so fucking worth it

Deleted user

No I'm not. I'm always stuck in my fucking head. And it's going to kill me. I'm never going to get better, and that's a fact. I already should be better. Meds, therapy… There's nothing else anyone can do. I hate what I see in the mirror. I hate the scars on my wrists and legs. I hate knowing that there are so many people who've completely forgotten me. I hate knowing that 50% of me is from an abusive, cheating, alcoholic rapist. I hate knowing that everything I want is so different from what I have and what I ever will have. I hate me and I wish my dad had just shot me when he pointed that gun at me.

@HighPockets group

Fuck your dad, just because he gave you his genes doesn't mean he's half of you. You are not your father. We are not our parents. The truest families don't come from genetics.

@Pickles group

Mir, there is no set timeline for when you're better. People heal at their own rate and to you haven't passed the point of no return.

@saor_illust school

Mir, there is no set timeline for when you're better. People heal at their own rate and to you haven't passed the point of no return.

^^^^^^^^^^^
I was just gonna say that, actually. I'm trying to think of something inspiring or helpful, but I can't think of anything even remotely inspiring, even to me so I'm just gonna leave it at this.

@Relsey-TheElder

Mir, you said that you hate your self. I'm not going to tell you that you're wrong, that's an opinion, it's your opinion that you have a right to. It's important to note that all of the things you listed you lead with "I hate". Any statement that begins with "I hate" Is an opinion, and all Opinions are subject to change. I will go as far as to say that all Opinion's change. They develop to become stronger or they change all together, maybe somewhere in between. The important thing is they all change.
You currently have a very negative opinion of yourself. That opinion is going to get stronger and deeper until it kills you, or it'll slowly start to chip away. The key parts of that, Every single thought you have about yourself, is subject to change. You can still change Mir, You can Always change.
You know what else you said up there Mir? I'll go ahead and put it in here "Meds, therapy… There's nothing else anyone can do." You know what I'm going to go ahead and say, you're right. There is not a single person in your life that can do anything more to help you, well that is, except you. Therapy and Meds, Mir those are tools. Tools to stand back up, those are crutches to lean on, crutches don't work with out some one holding them and using them. You have to use them in order for them to work, you, yourself have to.
It Physically hurts me to say that, So let me make myself clear here, I don't think you're not trying, I think you are trying I think you are leaning on those crutches. I don't know all the details, I don't know how long you've had therapy and meds, I don't know if you've come off of them or not I don't know what your history there is. I do know that a fatal mistake people make, is stopping to soon, it can cause major and I mean major relapses. If you break your leg and you walk on it before it is fully healed, that's not good, there are steps and stages for that, like switching from crutches to the boot. The same goes for Therapy and meds. There is a process for coming off of meds. There is a process to stopping therapy, you can't just stop once you start feeling better. You half the dosage or start going to therapy less frequently. You don't just stop.
Now I could be completely wrong and please forgive me if I am. I just really want you to understand five key points. One, All of your emotions towards yourself are subject to change and will change. Two, Therapy and Meds are tools that you have to actively use in order for them to be useful. Three, Don't stop using tools until you're ready. Four, Progress is slow, so painfully slow, sometimes you have relapses even if you're doing everything right, be patent with yourself. Just based off of what I've read from you this looks like it's been building up in you and hurting you for a very long time, it's going to take just as much time to go away if not more. Five, You can make progress. Quick story , In kindergarten my whole class said we were going to throw Can't out of the door, It's not welcome here. Can't is not welcome here. N't doesn't belong any where Can, nope nope nope, because you Can do this.
Again I could be completely wrong with some of theses things as they pertain to you, but they are still important things to remember.

@StarryWolfy flash_onCrazy Procrastinator

Whelp.
I've finally done it.
I've finally pulled a true all nighter.
I wasn't tired all night.
But now I am.
So fuck.
But at least I did a thing that was important.
Now I should either sleep or go do other important things.
But I think Imma watch netflix.
Cause I can.
BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHOOMANSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Deleted user

Thanks Relsey. That actually helped a lot.

@Pickles group

I love deciding to do one of the draw this in your own style things and realizing that it turned into "draw this but worse" because you can't actually draw, and also you left half your supplies upstairs and you can't go get them

Deleted user

I love having eye-blinking tics until I have a migraine :)

@The-N-U-T-Cracker

i want to paint another digital portrait with all the new brushes i've made
but i don't know who or what to draw
my "pretty women for drawing purposes and nothing sketchy i swear" folder is failing me
help