forum Personal Venting Chat, New and Improved! (Without Jerks)

Started November 14, 2019 by Deleted user

tune

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hey
ella
take a deep breath

big big hugs

okay, what's going on fren?
we're here for you, okay?

then what do i do?
i don't want to have to see my future
i want it to end-

hey,
we're here for you, i repeat

what happened?
you and i, we're around the same age
i get that
but our lives have barely started!
there's so much left to live for

…
sorry, i don't really know what else to say

i'm sorry…

i kept trying to pin the blame on everyone else when you haven't done anything wrong…
this hatred, fear, and judgement over all the stupidest things-
it's not everyone else that's an idiot
it's not everyone else that should be dead-
i'm the problem.
i'm the delusional one.

i'm done lying to myself
i'm done pretending
i'm not going to make it-
i'm not safe
i'll never be safe
i want to go before it can ever hurt me

i'm not making any sense
i'm sorry
i need to go bck to bed until i can think
i'm just gonna embarass myself

You matter, Ella. Trust me. You do.

ella hun
this isn't your fault
whatever it is,
it isn't your fault

now, i have the feeling your brain is lying to you
its telling you all these things to make you feel bad
no one here has explicitly said anything that would lead me to believe that they blame you for anything

d'you ever feel like you're not really living life, you're just going through the motions while living in some world of your own, being sad and feeling like you're about to break down?

idk if that made any sense, but that's like, a big mood rn

yep

I can't help but think of how much better today would be if a certain person were here. It kinda sucks.

I can't help but think of how much better today would be if a certain person were here. It kinda sucks.

who?

My mother.

Well that’s a mood if I’ve ever seen one 😔

its only 11am
so why do i still feel like shiet?

istg the world hates me today
didn't help that i was feeling extra depressed this morning (and still am, actually)
nor did the fact that my trackpad conveniently decided to stop working right after my chromebook decided to randomly shut down at about 50% power. it had plenty of battery, alright.

and then my cat gave me a big scare. i think she was just kinda half sleeping with her eyes sort of open but every now and then her paws would kinda like tremble and she was clearly breathing but when i shook her she didn't respond. it took her about five seconds to finally register that i wanted her to wake up. like, i was so relieved but that scared me so much. i was worried that she'd suffered a stroke or something.

BIG HUGS
I don't think I can relate to that today, but I've had days like that… days where I just don't wanna do anything, and would rather be non-existant.

mhm…

and thank you <3

you know, i think ima try making some of that mac and cheese with the recipe you shared with me
i haven't eaten that much today
i've barely eaten actually, but i havent really felt hungry
but i suppose i should eat anyways

Try the one with Cheese whiz if you have it, it's easiest to make.

mhm…

and thank you <3

Of course friend!!
My Pms are always open!

Somebody tell me to go do my makeup because I'm going out tonight

Why bother? You don't have to wear makeup

just do your eyes and then wear a mask

Why bother? You don't have to wear makeup

shush
It's with family friends, I need an excuse to actually try with my appearence

just do your eyes and then wear a mask

We're not wearing masks

We're eating